


All My Tumblr Writings

by SaltiestDemonLoves



Category: DCU, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Harry Potter - Fandom, MCU, Marvel, Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, Multi, Reader Insert, fanfic writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 17:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 106,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16837294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltiestDemonLoves/pseuds/SaltiestDemonLoves
Summary: Tumblr's a mess right now and I don't know what's going to happen. These are all the fics that I have posted on Tumblr currently.





	1. Bitter Beginnings pt. 1

**Pairings: Bucky x OC/Reader**

* * *

I noticed that when I had joined the Avengers at the compound that James made sure to keep a distance. The longer I was there the more obvious it became. It got to the point where he could barely stand to be in the same room as me and avoided contact at all costs. This continues for almost six months and it seems to get worst the closet the holidays get closer.

It was hard, getting into the jolly mood because of this. There were only a few days left until Christmas and I was sitting in my bed annoyed and conflicted. James had made his feelings for me clear, he wants nothing to do with me, but still, I had decided to get him something. Well, multiple things; all were very small not extremely expensive. Mulitple times, I had heard James grumble to himself about a blanket that didn’t keep him up all night with it’s scratching. When both Tony and Steve had offered to get him a blanket that didn’t do so he had flat out refused and got pissy about it.

I chew on my lip as I let my fingers run over the velvety softness. The next item was a necklace, obviously not feminine; I don’t need another reason for him to hate me. It had a charm that hung off of a simple chain; the charm being a compass, fully functional. It’s about the size of a quarter. I sigh and puff my cheeks out before folding up the blanket and putting it in a box. I had only just managed to tape the box shut when there was a sudden knock on the door making my heart jump straight out of my chest.

I kick the box gently underneath the bed before reaching over to the door and cracking it open. Steve stood outside the door with a confused expression as to why she hadn’t just simply opened the door. “Oh,” I exhale, “it’s just you. What’s up, Cap?” I open the door further and smile awkwardly. Steve gestures questioningly if he could step in and I nod stepping back so he could do so. My brows raise when he steps in and promptly shuts the door.

“It’s about Bucky.”

I purse my lips and clasp my hands together, “Oh?”

“Have you gotten him anything for Christmas?” Ah yes, Cap, always straight to the point. I grimace and rub the back of my head before nodding sheepishly and bending down to where the box had been kicked. I pull it out and hold it out for him to take.

“What is it?” He asks, he shakes his head and crosses his arms. I frown and set it down on the bed, pulling the tape off of the boxes tabs and pulling the blanket free. I hold it up for him to see, “A blanket,” I hand it to him, this time he takes it, and find the small box the necklace was in. I hand it to him as well and he stares in confusion before slipping the box’s lid off.

“Wow,” his eyes widen and a small smile forms on his lips, “this is awesome.”

I kick at the carpet and shrug, “I was actually trying to figure out if I was actually going to give it to him or not before you knocked.”

“What do you mean?” He asks handing the items back to me.

“He doesn’t really like me and lately everything seems to be pissing him off, I’m just not sure if I’m ready for his reaction.”

“Why do you think Bucky doesn’t like you Y/n?” Steve sounds appalled by my statement and it dawns on me that perhaps no one else knows. Well, Tony knows, we share stories about the glares and growls received from the man. I press my lips together and hum, shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I worked for Hydra my entire life? Or that I nearly killed you?” My tone takes a sarcastic turn, “Those reasons might have something to do with it.” But, Steve isn’t having it. He shakes his head in denial, “That’s happened with almost all of the other Avengers at least once.”

“Yeah well, none of the others worked willingly for Hydra.” I point out whilst sitting done on my bed.

Steve presses his lips together in a firm line and shakes his head again. He takes a seat at my computer desk and I groan. Here comes Steve to the rescue.

“Do you really think that? About yourself?” He questions in disbelief. I shrug and nod nonchalantly, “Of course.”

“Y/n! You were given to them when you were practically a baby, you didn’t know any better.”

I exhale loudly and cross my arms.

“Y/n,” Steve leans forward to rest a reassuring hand on my knee, “you can’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control. You didn’t know any better.”

“I could have left Steve,” I admit, “I was given the chances so many times. Every time I refused, I chose to stay. James is right to hate me.”

Steve lets his shoulders fall and shakes his head disappointedly, “That’s not true.” He stands up and heads to the door, before leaving he points to the bed, “Those are some good gifts.” I force a smile and nod, watching as he leaves. When I hear the click I toss myself back and groan.

***

Later that night Nat has forced me to join them for a dinner all together. I sat between her and Tony, Steve sat across from me and Bucky to the left of him.

“So,” Nat starts, “who’s gotten all their gift shopping done?”

Steve gives a pointed look at me, indicating that I should take part in all the conversation. Softly I answer, “I’ve got everything purchased I just need to wait for a few to deliver.”

“Online shopping?” Tony questions.

I shake my head, “No, I bought them while I was at the store. They just didn’t have them in stock so they have to deliver.” The table hums and nods before silence falls back onto the group. I had already finished eating, my stomach was doing nervous flips leaving me nauseous. “Anyone else?” Nat asks sipping her wine.

Tony nods, “I do but I have to get them wrapped.”

“You’re not going to give us all weird prototypes again?” Bruce asks suspiciously. Tony shakes his head and waves his hand, but he doesn’t answer. Bruce squints at Tony un-convinced and it causes me to giggle. Steve chuckles along with me and everyone was quick to join in with playful teasing and bantering when they recall their previous Christmas. I willingly listen, as best as I could, but I notice that James has a forced smile and he was visibly uncomfortable. I know that this would be the second Christmas for him and had heard about how completely opposite he was compared to how he is now.

James had been very quiet for the entire dinner, even when spoken directly to his answers had been quick and to the point. Nat focuses on him and everyone visibly tenses, “What about you Buck? Are you ready for Christmas?” His jaw clenches and his brows furrow, James shrugs and looks down at his clean plate.

Nat gives him a disappointed look before turning back to face me, “Who did you get gifts for?”

I fiddle with my silverware and smile before quietly answering, “Everyone.”

I didn’t look up from my fingers but my head snaps up when there was a very aggressive, “What do you mean everyone?” James was staring right at me with unreasonable anger in his eyes, I cross my arms and glare back. “ _Everyone_ , that means you too.”

“Who said I want a gift from _you_?”

Steve looks at him pressed lips and quietly murmurs a warning, “Bucky, don’t.”

He turns to glare at Steve and snarls out, “What? Are you taking her side on this? She’s Hydra Steve, she’s _going_ to stab us in our backs.” James’ eyes shift to me to glare, “At least one person will be ready for it. Don’t you dare bother giving me those gifts. I. Don’t. Want. Them.” With that he pushes himself up, the chair falling back in a result of the force used, and he storms away.

I swallow the lump that was forming in my throat and blink away the tears that threatened to fall. “Y/n…” Nat rests her hands on my shoulder but I pull away from it. “Don’t,” I force out, “just…I have to go.”

I stand up from my seat and take my plate with me as I go into the kitchen I place it in the dishwasher and then go to leave, slipping on my shoes at the door. I could feel their eyes on me but I don’t look back as I exit the room and head for the outdoors.

Once I reach outside I shiver and wrap my arms around myself, it was the sudden change of temperature that affected me. Not the temperature outside itself, thanks to Hydra’s super-soldier serum I could handle it. I exhale slowly and head over to the garage where my bike was. Just as I reach it someone steps out of the shadows, my heart leaps into my throat in fear that it’s James but I relax upon seeing it’s only Sam.

“Hey,” I greet him softly.

He held a deep frown and his arms are crossed. I rub the side of my arm and gesture to where my bike was parked, “I just wanted to go for a ride, clear my head.” He keeps staring. “Maybe find a hotel to stay at for tonight,” I murmur more to myself than him. Sam sighs deeply, “Why do you let him do this to you?”

I chuckle nervously and shove my hands into my pockets, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Bucky should know that your situation was maybe not as equally bad, but bad enough at Hydra. You weren’t shocked or frozen-”

“I was actually.” It slips through my lips before I could stop it. His face scrunches together and in bewilderment, he exclaims, “What?” Sighing I look back over to the compound before reluctantly admitting, “Yeah, both. Was I implanted with um…demands? I can’t exactly remember but I think it’s kind of like James. They wired me so that I obeyed. Then they froze me for like, years at a time.”

“So…the only difference between you two is that one has a metal arm and the other doesn’t.”

I shake my head, “No, no. He definitely had it worst, I had a choice in what I did. He didn’t, I volunteered for it all.”

“Why?” Sam’s eyes wide in shock.

“My mother always told me that I have to do the hard stuff to become the best. I wanted to give my all for Hyrda, that’s what I did.”

He groans and puts his head into his hands, “What?” Looking up he gives me a begging look, he wants to know my history. With another reluctant sigh, I gesture for him to step into the garage so that I could as well and shut the door behind him. I flip the lights on and sit down in the open space on the floor, Sam joins me.

I point at him, “You can’t talk about this to anyone if they ask or figure out that you know this about me just send them to me. Don’t talk. Send.” He nods quickly and leans forward eagerly for the story.

I scratch the back of my head, “I was born in a Hyrda base in the year 1974, my mother worked there and volunteered me for a super soldier child project. I was trained in a similar process as Natasha but they focused more on brute force than anything. They first offered to let me leave when I was sixteen, I declined the offer and continued with training.” I pause, considering if I should even mention a secret that I have never told anyone. I might as well, I’m already telling him more than anyone else has ever known, “When I turned sixteen after I declined the offer to leave, they sent me to the Hydra base that James was at in Russia. There, I was injected with a serum and then he trained me until I was eighteen.”

“You knew Bucky!”

I nod, “Very well. I knew him for four years, once I turned eighteen though, they offered me my last chance to leave. I said no and they told me that I could become a much more successful agent if I let them do what they did to me. So, I sat in the chair. Then I went into the ice chamber and got frozen.”

“How long?”

I shrug, “Until there was something they needed me for; that time I had stayed in stasis for two years. They woke me up so I could go undercover, which I did, for a year. I obtained a bunch of information and then at the end the Winter Soldier came and killed them all. I’ve done that a bunch of times.”

Sam whistles, “Damn, I didn’t know.”

“No one does,” I say quietly, fiddling with the loose laces on my shoes, “James might, but I don’t know. I think that might be why he hates me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was given the choice that he didn’t have, and instead of taking it I chose to go through what he was forced to. I chose to stay and help the enemies when I could have gone and been free.”

“Do you really think that?” Sam’s voice was filled with concern, “Y/n, have you ever heard of reverse psychology? To me, it seems like they made it seem like they were giving you a choice but they tricked you.”

I frown and look up, his lips were pointing down and there was a deep crease in-between his brows. “I don’t know what you mean…” I murmur. Sam sighs and scratches his chin, “Okay, for an example, you said you that they offered you to leave but they said that if you didn’t you would have a chance to become a better version of you right?”

“Basically,” I confirm.

“Y/n, they tricked you. They didn’t really give you a choice, I bet if you had said yes to leaving they would have killed you. Why would Hyrda waste all that time raising you, training you just to offer you a chance to leave.” When he puts it like that it makes perfect sense. Swallowing I shake my head, “I still had a choice on how I approached different situations. I didn’t have to kill people the way I did, I didn’t have to kill some in general. And I sure as hell didn’t have to enjoy it. But I did.” My voice cracks at the end and I stand in frustration.

Sam jumps up quickly and I push past him, “I need to go.”

“Y/n!”

Ignoring him I yank on my helmet and hop onto the bike, I press the button and wait impatiently as the garage’s door opens. Once there was enough space for me to duck under I kickstart the bike and speed out.

* * *

Sam trudges into the living room with a deep set frown. Nat was waiting, her arms crossed, and leaning against the wall furthest away from everyone. Steve was pacing and Tony was on his tablet working.

Upon seeing Sam Steve approaches him with a hopeful glint in his eyes, it quickly dies when Sam shakes his head. Sighing, Natasha walks up and asks, “What happened?”

“We talked, for a while, but something that we talked about got her upset and she left,” Sam answers quickly.

“Well,” she presses, “what did you talk about?” Groaning Sam side-steps around her, “I can’t say, she told me that if you really wanted to know to go to her. But I wouldn’t, not yet at least.”

Bucky walks in with a drink in his hand, “What’s going on.”

Natasha glares at him, “What do you think? We’re trying to figure out where Y/n is.” Bucky sets his drink down and glares at her, “She’s gone.”

“Yeah, thanks to you,” Sam says flatly.

Bucky’s eyes narrow as they shift to Sam, burning with annoyance. His mouth twists and he takes a menacing step forward, Steve holds out a cautious hand and shakes his head once quickly. “Excuse me for speaking truth,” he spits out.

“Truth?” Sam was close to his breaking point, already he had a close friend run out on him. He doesn’t need another to be an ass for no reason. “You have no idea what the truth is, you’re focusing all your hatred for Hydra onto Y/n.”

“She deserves it!” Bucky growls.

“Why Bucky, why does she deserve it? She was just as brainwashed as you, it just happened in a different way.” The entire room’s atmosphere changes, thick with heated anger. Bucky shakes his head and pulls his lip into a snarl, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Did you even bother getting to know her or her experiences at Hydra?”

Steve holds Bucky back from lunging at Sam and Sam takes a quick step back, still fuming, “Bucky do you remember her? You trained her, you should have seen it!” The entire room freezes and Sam curses. Bucky pushes Steve away from him, gently of course, and takes slow steps towards Sam. Sam’s jaw clenches and he shakes his head, “I can’t tell you. If you want to figure it out, ask her.”

“Sam.” His voice was gravelly but orotund, “You know something about me that I don’t?”

Groaning Sam backs away, “Listen, I promised that if someone figured it out that I knew that I would send them to her.”

“Well, she’s fucking gone so why don’t you just tell me.”

Shaking his head he says fiercely, “I promised.” Bucky growls and heads towards the door but Steve stops him, “You don’t know where she is, let her find her way back. If you try to force it you might never figure it out.” Bucky exhales slowly before stepping away and leaving the room. It was silent except for the loud slam of his door.

Everyone turns to face Sam and he winces, looking down at his feet guiltily. While everyone was still watching he slinks away and heads in the opposite direction of Bucky into his own room. Natasha turns to look at Tony, “Have you got it yet?” He hums and nods, “Yeah, she’s at a hotel right now.”

Steve frowns and Nat looks at him questioningly, “Should we go get her.”

Shaking his head he answers slowly, “No, we should leave her be. Let her cool off.” With that, he sighs and falls down onto the couch with a low grunt. Nat finds a seat on the chair next to him and curls up into it.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Tony breaks it, “How much do we actually know about her?”

Steve looks up from his lap, “Hmm?”

Tony shifts so his front was facing the both of them, “How much do we know about her, in all seriousness. Besides the fact that she is from Hyrda.”

Nat and Steve share a confused look as they pondered the question before both finally shrug, “I suppose we don’t.”

“Not even her birthday?”

They shake their heads. Tony huffs and starts tapping at his tablet, “Because I’m looking and there is literally nothing on her. Not her age, not her birth date. She doesn’t even have a social security number, there’s nothing on her besides what information we collected and she gave when we arrested her.”

“Did we assume that she’s a victim like Bucky, do we really know if she’s safe?” Tony’s question made fear and worry settle into Steve’s chest. “I’m sure she’s fine,” Nat reassures.

“But are we safe with her?” Tony continues, “like, what if she really is still a part of Hydra.”

Nat shakes her head and quickly jumps to Y/n’s defense. “I don’t think so, Sam knows what’s happening and he’s saying that she’s a victim. He might be the only person that knows but he’d be the last person to lie about it.” Tony thinks about it before shrugging and standing, he stretches out his arms and groans, “It’s late, I think I’m going to bed.”

“Alright,” Steve was lost in thought, praying that nothing bad would happen to the young girl. Natasha stands up too and pats his head, “You should get some sleep big guy, she’ll come home.”

“What if she doesn’t?” His voice was barely above a whisper and if Nat wasn’t expecting it she wouldn’t have heard it. She sighs and crouches down so she could look him in the eye, “You were about us too much, she’ll come back. This is home. Get some sleep and I promise when you wake up tomorrow morning she’ll be back in her own bed.” Steve gives her a weak smile and nods, she smiles back and stands up heading over to the door. “Are you leaving?” Steve asks sounding confused. Nat turns to smile, “I’m just going to do something, I’ll be back.”

With that Natasha steps out and pulls her phone out, looking at the text that Tony had sent her. It’s the location of Y/n, Nat was going to make sure that she comes back.

* * *

Sniffling, I curl further into the cold blankets and flip through the channels. I was caught off guard when there was a sharp knock on my door and a sharp, “Y/n.”

I pause, unsure if that’s what I had actually heard. There were three more sharp knocks on the door and another, “Y/n.” I recognize the strong voice that belongs to none other than Natasha, with a groan I unwrap myself from the blankets and trudge to the door.

When I open the door I was immediately pushed back into the room and the door shut promptly behind her. She turns to face me with crossed arms and I sigh already knowing what is about to come. “Sam mentioned something and now everyone wants to know because he refused to talk about more of it.”

She nods once.

“What part did he mention?”

Nat pushes a loose strand of hair from her face and moves past me to sit on the bed. “It slipped may have slipped past that Bucky should remember you. It appears that he does not and I think it’s freaking him out. Sam also told Bucky that he had trained you.” She looks at me, her posture stiff and expectant as she waited for me to tell her my story.

“This is so exhausting,” I say under my breath, “How many times do I have to tell my life story?”

She squints, “You could have saved yourself the trouble if you had told S.H.I.E.L.D the truth.” My nose scrunches and I take the chair by the table, making sure to face her. Taking a deep breath I start, “I was born in the year 1974, in a Hydra base. My mother was an agent and gave me to them for a project.”

“What was the project?”

“They wanted to see if it would be successful to build their own super soldiers, I was one of the only successful ones. The others either couldn’t handle it and were killed or they died in action.” I answer. Nat nods for me to continue, “I was raised and taught at this base for sixteen years, they taught me basic knowledge and focused more on things that I would need later. Like fighting and killing skills, information collection, manipulation; you know, the sorts.” Nat’s eyes were hard and focused on me and it was terrifying.

“When I turned sixteen they told me that I could leave, but they said if I didn’t I would be injected with the super-soldier serum they had made. I chose the latter and after injection, I was sent away to a base in Russia, this is where I met the Winter Soldier. For four years he trained me in fighting and shooting. We focused mainly on sniping, I was the best at that.”

“I thought he got wiped frequently,” She questions.

I nod, recalling all the times I had seen him be taken away and the horrible screams that followed. I shudder, “He did, but that didn’t mean he was incapable of training and teaching.”

Nat hums and waves her hand in a gesture for me to continue.

I exhale and nervously fiddle with my fingers, “When I turned eighteen I was again given the offer to leave. I denied the offer, they said that I should go through a programming like James did except I would still have the ability to make choices outside of orders. After that I went under and woke up two years later, I was sent off on a year-long undercover mission to collect data and once completed the Winter Soldier and I killed each last one of them.”

“How did they program you,” Nat’s voice was suddenly very quiet.

“The same way they did him,” I whisper.

“How do you know that they didn’t do more than they promised?”

I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, “It wasn’t my place to doubt them, I did what I thought would help.”

“Proceed.”

I moan, Sam didn’t press the issue like she was. “After that, I was put back in stasis for two years, I woke up completed a mission and they put me back under. I only saw him once during that time and only for a few minutes. I was then put under for _five_ years, and kept unfrozen for three doing a bunch of killings and information collecting.” I laugh softly, “They were going to pair me off with him.”

“What?” Her voice carried both shock and uncertainty.

“I was supposed to make some more children soldiers with him but things went sour somewhere else and they changed plans. I got put under for thirteen years, woke up in the year 2016 and have been out ever since.”

“How old are you Y/n?”

I pause to think, its something I didn’t bother memorizing due to all the jumbled up years. I crunch up the numbers and answer unsurely, “Physically I think I’m twenty-four, but biologically I think I’m in my forties. Forty-three, I believe.”

“You’ve been holding all this in?” When I look up I see only pity in her eyes and it shoots into my heart like a bullet. “So? Why should everyone know?”

“Because if we knew we would have sent you to therapy like we have been Bucky.” Her answer was short and stern. 

“I don’t think I deserve it, Natasha.”

“I thought that too, about myself,” she speaks softly, “but I was wrong. We come from similar backgrounds, does that mean I don’t deserve the help I get either?”

My eyes bulge and I shake my head, “No, of course, you do!”

“Well then so do you.” She elevates her brow and I don’t argue. Nat stands and shuffles over to me, tugging me from my seat. “Get your stuff, we’re going home.” I don’t struggle with her even though the thought of being under the same roof of someone who so blatantly hates me and despises me naturally causes worry and fear.

* * *

When we get home the first sight I see is Steve curled underneath a blanket on the couch, his large body almost completely hanging off of it. “Go,” Nat pushes me gently, “get some sleep.” My eyes linger on his sleeping form before I nod and tip-toe towards my room.

Once in the safety of my own four walls I toe off my boots and slip off my pants; I find one of my oversized shirts and replace my old shirt with it. I almost fall onto the bed but catch myself upon seeing James gift, the temptation to just toss it away was strong but spite was stronger. Out of spite, I was still going to give it to him, even if he doesn’t know that it had come from me.

I put it back into its box and push it back under the bed before slipping under the covers and allow the exhaustion to take over.


	2. Bitter Beginnings pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first bunch of these is from when I first started writing about a year ago so there's a bunch of writing mistakes.

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

At night I had a hard time sleeping so it came to no surprise that when I woke up it was only five in the morning. I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep and there was no point in trying so, I took this as a chance to get the first shower of the morning.

I find myself picking out clothes that I could easily fight or run in, in case something goes wrong later in the day. Poking my head out of my room I listen intently for anything that would suggest another person being awake in the house. All was silent and with that, I hurry over to where the showers were and quickly begin the morning process. I strip my clothes off quickly and kick them away where I usually do and, thanks to habit, look myself over. I look for anything that might hinder me such as an injury but all I see are old scars and fresh bruises from my own clumsiness.

My eyes linger over the rather large scar that wrapped around my side and covered a tiny portion of my ribs. It was a result of a bomb going off and shrapnel hitting me, he had tried to keep me safe. The Winter Soldier. They thought that it was a sign he was becoming attached and promptly wiped me from his memory. Once I was healed enough they froze me for the thirteen years, with each year that passes me being awake the scar fades just a bit more.

With a sigh, I shake my head and hurry over to the shower and turn it onto the hottest I could handle. To save time I brush my teeth in the shower before washing the rest of me, scrubbing my skin roughly in a hurry to get out. James is well known for his ability to walk around silently. Once all the soap was rinsed off I step out and towel myself dry. The clothes I picked were a sports bra, tank-top, then a fitting long sleeve shirt to go over the top, next was my underwear, then a pair of pants that I could easily move in. The material of my clothing was smooth and nearly silky, when my legs rub together it glides effortlessly. It doesn’t catch.

Useful. Ironically, all things that the Winter Soldier had taught me.

Once I finished, I dry off what wasn’t dry of my hair and twist it up into a towel so that it was out of the way. Brushing my hair is something that I can do in the comfort of my own room. I collect my dirty clothes and my toothbrush and similarily as to what I did earlier, I peek out of the bathroom and look and listen for anything. I saw nothing but I hear the slightest creak of what I suspect is a door. Light on my feet, I hurry back to my room and shut the door as quietly as possible.

Unable to relax I stand in front of my mirror and brush out all the knots and tangles before pulling it back a braid and then twisting the braid into a bun. Now, with that out of the way, I think of something else that needs to be done.

“I have to wrap the gifts,” I murmur to myself.

I had only a few things yet to be delivered; a limited edition throwing knife set for Nat and then special coffee beans that cost a little under five-hundred dollars for Thor. He loves his coffee. Hopefully, he’ll still be able to stop by as promised; it’s understandable if he can’t though. Everyone else has their gifts hidden underneath my bed.

I pull them all out and pile them in order of whose is who. Steve is getting an art kit since he loves them so much. I’m sure he’ll be set for art supplies until next Christmas but knowing Steve there’s never enough. The next pile is Tony, he was avid on having some new tools so I asked around and went to Pepper for some help. So now I have this large toolkit here, sitting in the middle of my room. Wanda and Vision were easier. Wanda wanted some books and Vision wanted some more sweaters. Instead of asking around, I went directly to them to see what they wanted. Wanda gave me a short list of books that she was wanting to get and Vision showed me the types of sweaters that he wanted; as well as the colors he wanted them in.

Clint already got his gift, because he left early to spend Christmas with his family. It appears that he really loves my homemade cookies because when I asked for what he wanted that’s all he could talk about for nearly an hour. Then, he begged me to make a bunch for him and his family.

Bruce was complicated, we get along fine but he keeps to himself a lot. I respect that he needs his privacy, just as I do for everyone, and I understand that he needs it. Unfortunately, though, I don’t know him well enough to know what he’d like for Christmas. I had decided to go to him about it and he offered the idea of simply getting him some herbal teas, he enjoys them. So I have a basket full of them, the aromatic scent having filled my room.

Sam was easy, I got him a prank set. He’s always playing some prank on someone and I thought I should make it more fun. It came with a rather large booklet full of excellent ideas. This was not a prank set for young children and I had to scour everywhere to find it.

Finally, there’s Peter who Tony has invited along with his aunt to the Christmas party later in the day on Christmas. When he gets there is when I’ll be able to give him his gift. Getting a teenager gifts is both complicated and easier. Peter loves the merchandise that’s made for Spiderman so as a sort of a joke gift I’ve bought a bunch of the said items. Such as a plushie, phone-case, an action figure, and finally a few shirts. I’ve gotten to know Peter well, even though in the beginning he was terrified of me, we message each other frequently and he talks about whatever is on his mind.

The kid’s delightful, full of heart and thankfully he’s got brains too. But, there are times where I wonder if he actually uses his brain.

* * *

Finally, I manage to finish the last of the wrapping. I get the stickers and scribble the to and from down on it. I had decided while wrapping the gifts that I would still let James know that the gifts had come from me. If he just so happens to toss it in the fire, well, that’s his loss.

I ‘hide’ the presents back underneath my bed; there’s hardly any room to do so anymore. When I check the time I groan, it’s still early in the morning, Steve might be up but if he’s up so is James.

I know that the first thing they usually do is go for a run so maybe I can head to the gym while they do that. But first, I need to eat and as if on cue my stomach lets out a loud growl. Looking down at it I sigh, “Let’s get something to eat.” I push myself up from the floor and slip on my shoes. I tip-toe out of my room, cautiously listening.

I quietly make my way to the kitchen, sighing a breath of relief when only Steve was in the kitchen. I glance around and peek into the lounge room for another large body but he was still not present. Steve notices and sighs, “Don’t worry, Y/n. He’s still sleeping.”

I breathe a sigh of relief, “Ah.”

“Was it you I heard get out of the shower?” He asks, leaning against the counter. So it was him I had heard earlier. I nod as I work on pouring myself some cereal, “Yeah.”

“Why were you up so early?”

I shrug before quietly answering, “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

He shifts closer and smiles softly, his eyes gentle and ready to comfort, “Do you want to talk about it?” I shake my head quickly, “Nah, it’s nothing that I can’t handle.” I smile at him reassuringly and walk over to the table to eat my food. Steve follows and takes a seat across from me like he usually does.

I take a small bite and chew slowly, savoring the sugary sweetness of the cereal. Between bites, I ask, “Have you already went out for a run?” Steve shakes his head, “Nah, I’m waiting for Bucky and Sam. I’m not sure Sam’s going to join us though.” I grimace remembering how Nat told me they had fought.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Steve watches me tentatively, “I do think there’s some explaining that needs to be done though.”

“Yeah,” I sigh.

Steves brows furrow together, “Why haven’t you just told the truth Y/n?” I look down at my food guiltily, “I suppose I just wanted to forget about it, just take this as a chance to live the life I want.”

“Is it true?” Steve’s gaze was deep and intense, it leaves me feeling vulnerable.

I swallow, “Is what true?”

His jaw clenches, “Did you know Bucky?”

I scrunch my nose and let my shoulders fall, “I guess? I mean, I only knew him as the Winter Soldier. Zima. That’s what I knew him as.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means Winter in Russian.”

Both Steve and I jump at the sudden voice, I twist around to see James watching the both of us. A frown set on his face. I stand automatically and awkwardly, “Um-”

“Don’t,” He glares. I swallow whatever words that I was about to say and nod obediently. He steps forward slowly, in a predatory fashion, his eyes focused on me. My heart was in my throat, I don’t know what he’s going to do.

“You know me.” It wasn’t a question, James was stating this. He continues, “And all I know about you is your name, Y/n.” He spits my name out as if it was poison. I swallow and look down at my shoes, James wasn’t having it. He growls, “Look at me.” I look back up, my eyes wide. He doesn’t stop stalking towards me until there was only a foot between us. “If it’s true,” he says slowly, “that I trained you, then you should know never to look down. Never show weakness.”

“Unless you want to present yourself as weak,” I finish off.

He nods once, slowly as his eyes stare into my soul. “We’re going to leave, just you and I, and you’re going to tell me everything.”

“About me, or just the stuff I know about you?”

He reaches forward and snatches my arm, he growls into my ear, “Everything.” I gasp as he yanks me away from the table, a worried Steve following closely behind, “Bucky! Let Y/n go, you know better than to do this.” But I stop him, “No, it’s okay.” Steve hardly looks convinced but I give him a pointed look and let Bucky drag me out of the compound and towards the garage.

“Where are we going?” I asked worriedly.

He doesn’t answer, only glancing down to glare at me. My entire body was filled with fear, I don’t want to fight him. I know I can though, I know how he fights and I could take him on but I just can’t find it in me to do it. James opens the garage door and continues tugging me over to his bike. “I-I left my helmet inside,” I stutter out.

“You can use mine,” He barks out, he tosses it in my direction and I just catch it. I let my braid out of its bun so that it was just hanging and pull the helmet over my head. James starts the bike and gives me a pointed look to sit on the back seat. Reluctantly, I do so and so that I wouldn’t fall off, awkwardly, wrap my arms around his waist. He tenses beneath me and I hear an annoyed sigh before he pulls out of the garage and speeds down the driveway.

* * *

He drove us out of the city’s limits and further into the country part of New York. The number of buildings thinned out until there weren’t any and instead trees began to take their place, thickening the further we went. My nerves were fried from all the worrying that I was doing, why was he taking us to someplace so isolated?

I don’t dare ask, his body still tense underneath me from the pent-up anger. Suddenly he turns on a dirt road and I squeal, squeezing him more tightly. I feel a chuckle vibrate from him and glare at the back of his head.

You wouldn’t think its funny if I took you with me had I fallen, I think to myself. He’d probably beat my ass though.

We continued down the road for a while until finally, he slowed down to stop. I step off the bike and frown as I take the helmet off and look around. There was nothing but trees for miles except for the road we came from and the open patch of grass we stood on.

He parks the bike and sighs as he stands up from the bike. I set the helmet down on it, balancing it carefully on the seat I had sat on. I turn to face him and defensively cross my arms in front of me, “What do you want to know first?”

“I want you to tell me everything you told Sam,” he responds. His eyes focused intensely on mine. I take a deep breath but he interrupts me before I could start, “In detail, I want to know it all.”

I grimace and nod reluctantly, “Alright.”

He stares at me with an impatient frown. I take another deep breath and nod to myself, “Okay. I was born in a Hydra base in the year 1974. My mother was an agent for Hydra and I was given to them for a project designed to create the perfect child-soldier. I spent the first sixteen years of my life there being taught and trained. On my sixteenth birthday, they offered me a chance to leave, but they told me if I stayed I would be sent off to a base in Russia and be injected with a super-soldier serum.”

I paused waiting for him to register it all, he was quiet for a moment before he nods and gestures for me to keep going.

“My mother pushed me to choose the latter and of course I was going to anyway, Hydra’s the only life I’ve ever known. I spent my entire life hearing why it’s great and all the good I would do. So I went off to the base and got the injection. After that, I met you,” I watch his reaction, his eyes widen slightly and his jaw clenches tightly. “You trained me for four years and after that, when I turned eighteen, the gave me another chance to leave.”

“Why didn’t you take it?” He questions aggressively.

I glance down at my hands, wringing them and shrug, “Why would I? I thought I was doing something good.”

“Keep going,” James demands.

I swallow and nod, “I declined and volunteered to be programmed as well as frozen in cryo.”

“Why?” It comes out in an aggravated snarl. I step back in fear and stutter out quietly, “I wanted to be the best, they said I would be if I did it.”

His eyes darken and he takes a deep breath, to calm himself, before clenching his hands at his side and nodding.

“I was in cryo for two years,” my voice was soft in fear, “they woke me up to go undercover for a year. I was supposed to befriend a woman and get into her group. Collect information.”

“And did you?”

I nod, “Of course I did.”

“What happened after you did?”

“You and I killed them,” I answer honestly.

“But mostly me, right?” He gives me a tight-lipped smile. I nod as I chew on the bottom of my lip.

“And after that?”

I hug myself and continue, “I was put back under for five more years, I stayed out for three years doing a bunch of missions. Mostly collecting information but sometimes I went with you to kill. They said I had to keep the skills fresh.” Something I hadn’t mentioned to both Natasha or Sam. “They…do you…?” I groan and rub my face, uncomfortable with the conversation that I’ve had two times already.

“What?” He asks annoyed and impatient.

“Um, do you remember anything at all about a certain 'breeding’ mission?”

James visibly tenses and his face blanks, I start to freak out worrying that I triggered him. But his face twists and his eyes narrow, “I…I might?” He says it questioningly.

“They had paired me with you because I was the only successful female super-soldier left,” I pause, my face flushing in discomfort. James sighs impatiently, “Just get on with it.”

“Uh, well, we started the process but uh - while we were on a mission something bad happened and you showed signs of caring about me and my well-being. They were worried that you were getting attached and decided to wipe me from your memories. The project got shut down.”

There was a quiet pause before he asks, “What do you mean, 'started the process’?”

Laughing nervously I look anywhere but at him and press my lips together. “Uh, well you…you know, the um, the process of which making a baby happens?”

There was a quiet groan and when I look back at him he was rubbing his temples with the heel of his hands with a painful look on his face. I chuckle nervously and step forward. “Are you good? Do we need to take a break because we can, also if you could not mention that part it’d be great cause I kind of lied to Nat. I told her that it hadn’t happened yet, so she only knows that it was planned; she doesn’t know it actually happened.”

He gives me a painful look before shaking his head and walking away.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I say to myself as I watch him disappear into the brush, I scratch the back of my head and look around nervously, “I should have used the bathroom before I left.”

* * *

He had been gone for at least twenty minutes and when he finally returned I had found a comfortable spot to lay on the ground. I found a spot where the sun had melted the snow and laid down to do some sun-bathing.

I hear the shuffle of grass as he approached and crack my eyes open to peek at him. “Y/n,” instead of making me get up he sits down next to me. I tense but stay laying down. He sighs and gruffly asks, “Can you keep going?”

I push myself up and lean on my elbows, frowning at him, “That’s all there is about you. I figured that’s all you wanted to know.”

He looks at me annoyed and with a more aggravated tone, “Could you just-”

I hold a hand up and murmur, “Alright, I will.” I push myself up further into a sitting position and cross my legs, I made sure to face him. “Okay, after that they put me back under for thirteen years. That was the last time I was put into stasis.” He nods for me to continue, “I uh, was their last chance I think. That’s why they were desperate to get as much leverage as they could.”

I chuckle, “It was stupid, for them to think I could take all of you on by myself. I was stupid for it, overconfident.”

“You did some damage though,” James murmurs.

I nod and a guiltiness fills my chest, “Sorry about your hand.” I had blasted it off with a specialized gun that was meant to stop him, it only had one shot and I missed. But it mangled his metal hand pretty badly. “And Steve,” I add, “I’m really sorry for that too.”

We sat awkwardly, he doesn’t seem as mad as before. In fact, he was much calmer and instead of simply looking pissed James looks confused. “Why,” he pauses, struggling for the words, “why weren’t you just honest from the start, wouldn’t it have been easier.”

I sigh and nod, “I wonder that too. I guess I didn’t trust anyone with the truth.” I laugh humorously, “I thought that if no one knew I could pretend it didn’t happen and try to live normally.”

“Did it work?”

I tilt my head in confusion, “What?”

“The…the um, breeding?” He looks so uncomfortable with the thought of it and honestly the reaction was absolutely normal but I found it strangely amusing.

I chuckle and the chuckle turns into a laugh, although short because his signature glare returned. Swallowing the laughter I pause and scratch the back of my head, “It didn’t, we only tried like five times.”

James snorts, “Only.”

I shrug and grin at my hands, “Being an agent and soldier is stressful, it’s harder to conceive when you’re stressed out.”

There was another moment of silence before I broke it, “Do you really not want my gifts? If you really don’t I can give them to someone else but…” I hesitate, I really do want to give it to him.

“What is it?”

I give him a small smile and shake my head, “The whole point of a Christmas present is not knowing what it is until Christmas.” James rolls his eyes and gives me a sideways smile.

I sigh and give in, “I had heard you complain about your blanket being uncomfortable and too rough on your skin so I got you one of the softest blankets I could find. I also got you a necklace.”

He raises his brow, “A necklace?”

I nod.

James chuckles, “Y/n…”

I hold my hand up to stop him, “It’s not feminine, I thought you’d like the meaning behind it.”

“What’s that?”

“It has a compass charm, about the size of a quarter, and it works. It’s fully functional. I thought that maybe if you ever felt lost you could look at it and remember where home is.” My face flushes bright and I look down at my shoes and play with the laces. James was quiet before softly asking, “Really?”

I nod, still not looking up, “Mhm.”

James pauses before quietly saying, “Y/n?”

I look up at him with a forced smile, his eyes much gentler than I’ve seen in a long time. Since the last time I 'saw’ the Winter Soldier.

“You’re going to have to do a report on this so everyone else knows.”

I screw up my face and shake it in denial, “I’ll just have you or Nat do that. I’ve talked more about my life in the last twenty-four hours than I have in my entire life.”

James chuckles in amusement, “Sorry doll, I don’t think it works quite that way.”

The nickname makes my heart jump up into my chest. Curiously I peek up at James, “Do…do you still think I’m Hydra?”

He exhales sharply through his nose and looks away, “I don’t know. You sure do seem convincing, but then again,” he looks at me with a small smile, “I did train you.”

I give him a weak smile in return and nod. The atmosphere around us was less tense and much more relaxed than it’s ever been. It was nice to finally be able to sit peacefully with James. We sit on the wet grass for a few more minutes before he sighs and it grabs my attention, “We should get back. I’ve been getting texts every second. I bet Steve and the rest are worried.”

I chuckle and jokingly ask, “We can’t sit here for a few more minutes?”

James smiles, “It’s peaceful here ain’t it?”

I nod and look around us, “It’s beautiful.”

“I took you here because this is my spot, I come here when I need to breathe. I knew that if I took you to a special place that I would think twice before killing you. I wouldn’t want to ruin my feelings about this place out of anger.”

I pause as I think about what he just said, “Oh.” He looks out into nothing and breathes in deeply, “Now it’s better than before, every time I’ll come here I’ll remember how instead of hurting you I took a chance to understand you.”

I smile and lay back down, I look back up at the clear blue sky. As I think more about what he’s said my smile grows wider. I hear him breathe calmly and he starts to hum an old song before saying softly, “I think we can stay here for a bit longer.”


	3. Bitter Beginnings pt. 3

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

“Y/n…” His voice drawls out and I chuckle, glancing up at him teasingly. “Hmm?” He tuts at me and shakes his head, a smirk growing on his face. He glances around us cautiously before nodding at me, “Hurry up.”

I sigh and nod as I lean forward, my knees already sore from the ground. I focus on the task at hand, I poke my tongue out slightly through my lips in concentration. Staring down the scope of my sniper rifle I focus it on the man at the end of it. Smiling widely I set myself up more comfortably and glance up at Zima questioningly. He looks down from his own scope and nods, “Don’t question yourself, be confident.”

I nod and flash him a smile before I go back to the scope, he was laying down by his pool. ‘Safe’ in the walls of his expensive home. I do one more quick scan around before I focus back on him, my finger twitched against the trigger but I wait. I have to take my time, but I can’t wait too long. I inhale slowly, as I hold my breath I take the shot; exhaling once the bullet leaves the chamber. The sudden boom left my ears ringing, I take a breath and stay in my spot. He was on the ground, behind his chair and I couldn’t see if I had actually hit him.

I glance up at Zima worriedly, his mouth was pressed into a tight line as he looked through the scope, he looked just as tense as I felt. An involuntary whimper escapes my lips as I look back through the sniper’s scope. If I ruined this Hydra is going to punish me. I hear a soft sigh and then I see the cause of it for myself, the man was struggling to pull himself up. Blood coated his fingers and covered his entire chest. He yells for someone but last time we had checked he was entirely alone, the man had too many trust issues to hire security. We continue watching silently as the man dies, he falls unconscious still laying across the chair.

“He will die before anyone finds him.” Zima’s voice was clear, confident.

I nod and lean away from the scope and try to calm the fluttery feeling in my chest and take a few deep breaths. Zima watches me with a look of similar relief. I look up and chuckle nervously, “I thought I had fucked that up.”

“But you didn’t,” He murmurs.

I pull away from my rifle and nod slowly, “Yeah.” Rolling out my shoulder I groan, I still wasn’t used to the kick. Letting the sniper rifle cool off for a second I stand and stretch myself out, having sat in the same position for a painfully long time. “But I thought I had,” I say as I massage the knot forming in my shoulder.

“Hydra,” he sighs, “would have been unforgiving. This one was important.”

I shudder as I recall the last time either one of us had sorely messed up. That was one hell of a beating, Zima almost got wiped entirely. Thank goodness he didn’t, I think peering up at him. He looks focused as he started to pack up his rifle. He glances up and smiles softly, “Get to packing, Doll.” Pouting, I nod and twist back around to do so. While we work Zima starts to hum a song, I listen curiously as he whispers out the words of the song softly to himself.

“Sweetheart of mine, I’ve sent you a valentine. Sweetheart of mine, it’s more than a valentine. Be careful, it’s my heart.”

I smile softly and listen intently as I work, letting the words wash over me.

“We’ll leave tomorrow night,” Zima says, “once they move over to another area.”

I nod and glance at him through the small mirror I was looking in. I run the brush through my hair a final time before setting it back into my bag and stand up. I pull my shirt off over my head and sigh as the cool air hits my flushed skin. The rest of my clothes were quick to follow.

I take the small basin of lukewarm water and a cloth; I take it across my skin gently, cleaning the filth of today off. “Y/n,” Zima’s voice was thick with sleep. I look up from my legs and smile, “Hm?”

“I really wish you’d wait to do that when I’m sleeping,” His voice was low and held annoyance but his eyes looked amused. I smile shyly and murmur out, “Sorry, I thought you were. You’re always so quiet, it’s hard to tell.”

He chuckles tiredly and lets his head fall back against his arm, his eyes shut. “Did you remember to pack clothes?” He asks. I pause before nodding, rolling my eyes when I remember his eyes are shut. “Yeah, I did. This time.”

Zima snorts, “This time.”

I grin and continue to wash clean, he had already done so earlier. Currently, he was laying on the bed, in a dark tank top and sweats. All neatly worn. The manners of a soldier. Once finished I dress in a similar manner, same shirt but instead of sweats, I was given tight black shorts. I glare at the provocative pair of clothes before sighing and slipping them on. No underwear. Whoops, I think to myself.

“Zima?” I walk over to the bed, climbing up onto the side and perching up on my knees. He grunts out and hums, one eye cracking open to meet me. “What’s that song you were singing earlier?” I ask. Zima pauses, I swear I can see his cheeks flushing. He hesitates before answering, “I don’t actually know, it just pops into my head every now and then.”

I hum the tune he sang earlier and he chuckles softly. “I like it,” I tell him, “it’s nice.” He hums again and scoots over, I crawl underneath the covers and curl myself up with a sigh. He carefully maneuvers his arm so that it rested under my head. I give him a kind smile and watch as he sighs, his eyes falling shut. I let mine do the same; I’m not sure if it happened or not but I swear that as I fell asleep there was the soft singing again.

“Sweetheart of mine, I’ve sent you a valentine. Sweetheart of mine, it’s more than a valentine. Be careful, it’s my heart.”

“Hey, what you thinkin’ about over there?” Sam pulls me from my thoughts. I blink and stare at him in confusion, “Hm?”

“I asked you what you’re thinking about,” He repeats.

I take a deep breath and shrug, “Nothing.”

Tony snorts, “It didn’t look like nothin’. And what were you humming? It sounds old.” I pause, I hadn’t realized I was humming. Frowning I answer him slowly, “I don’t know, I didn’t know that I was humming.”

“Well, do you know the words?” He asks.

I nod. He breathes in deeply before tossing me his phone. “Google the words, find the song. Play it.” Frowning, I stare at his phone before typing in the lyrics that James had sung all those years ago. The top result was a song called 'Be Careful It’s My Heart’. I click on the YouTube link and wait for the song to play. My eyes widen upon recognizing the lyrics and I grin excitedly, both Sam and Tony chuckle at my reaction.

At that time Nat and Wanda walk in, both holding a confused expression. “What’s going on?” Nat asks. I smile and hold up Tony’s phone, both women pause to listen. I feel the familiar ticklish feeling and squint at Wanda who smiles sheepishly and mouths out a 'sorry’. I shake my head and wave her apology away, “It’s just an old song.” Nat raises a brow, “Yeah, a song way older than you. How do you know it?”

I think back to Zi-James singing it and simply shake my head. A small smile graces my lips. “It’s nothing, just an old song I heard a few times.”

Wanda gives me a strange look and I give her a warning one in return. “There’s a difference between the need to know and want to know,” I tell her mentally, “this one is something he doesn’t want to know yet. I need to give him time.”

She exhales slowly and nods. Tony clears his throat and I shift my gaze to him and raise a brow. “So,” he grins, “'breeding’ mission, huh?” I groan and roll my eyes, tossing his phone back and twisting my body away from him.

He whines, “Aw come on Y/n! You can’t share some of the juicy secrets?”

Sam chuckles and joins in, “Yeah, Y/n, how does one do the dirty with Bucky while he was in Hydra?” I snort and shake my head, “I’m not answering that.”

“Come on Y/n, you can’t help us with a little competition?” Sam wiggles his brows. But I shake my head again and smirk at the both of them, “Why so you can lose?” Nat laughs and plops down on the couch next to me, Wanda takes the recliner. Nat pokes my side, “But in all seriousness, did you two actually try to make kids.”

I groan and my face lights up, “I’m pretty sure that’s what I said in the report.”

“But,” she almost sounded as if she was in disbelief, “what was that like?”

I grin and give her a playful push with my shoulder before leaning in and whispering, “Fun.” Nat laughs and shakes her head, Wanda, of course, heard and I heard he soft giggle. Tony and Sam look at each other in aggravation and Sam cross his arms, “Oh so they can know but we can’t.” I smirk and roll my eyes.

***

A few hours later Steve and James come back from their day out with arms full of bags. We all rush to help them but both shoo us away. “We may have done some last minute shopping,” Steve admits with a small grin.

“Do you guys need any help carrying them in?” I ask watching them with a concerned frown as they struggled to carry all the bags back towards the rooms. James cracks me a small smile and shakes his head, “No it’s alright, we’ve got it. Thanks, Y/n.” I pause before returning the small smile and nodding. Give him space Y/n, I remind myself. I watch as they go down towards their rooms and then I leave for my own.

I had only been in my room for a few minutes before there was a light knock on my door. I push myself up from my desk and answer the door. My eyes widen in surprise when I see James standing awkwardly behind it.

He gives me a small smile and his brows furrow slightly as he looks down, “Um…do you have?” I watch as he stumbles over his words, my head tilts. James takes a deep breath and juts his thumb over his shoulder, “Stevie said that you might have some wrapping paper and some tape.” I nod and grin, stepping back from the door to get them. I crouch down and reach underneath my bed for the wrapping paper I had stashed underneath; I grab the tape from my desk and hand them all to him.

There were quite a few rolls of wrapping paper and I chuckle quietly to myself as I watch him struggle with them. A few had started doing that annoying thing where the tube slides down but the paper itself stayed pinned in James’ grip. He glares at me before looking down hopelessly trying to juggle everything. “You know,” I say leaning against the doorpost, “there’s no shame in askin’ for a little help.” James sighs in defeat before grinning and looking up at me sheepishly, “Could you help me, Doll?” I inhale sharply at the name, it sends a sharp pain through my chest, but he doesn’t need to know that. I flash a fake smile and nod, “Yeah, I think I can.”

I take half of the rolls and let him lead me back towards his room. I’ve only been this far down the hallway a few times, and only for a short moment. All because I was avoiding James, my heart skips a beat when I realize he was leading me to his room. I hear him take a deep breath before he pushes his door open, Steve greets him with a large smile and then his eyes meet mine. He raises his brow in shock but smiles just as wide for me. I nod a quick hello and set the rolls down where James shows me too. His bed was covered in the bags he had brought in earlier.

Sighing I turn to smile at James, “There you go.”

“Thank you, Y/n.”

I nod and turn to leave but James catches my hand, I look at him confused. “Uh,” words seem to be failing him today, “do you think that later today you and I could talk?”

My body stills momentarily before I nod and shift towards him, not too close. Space Y/n, give the poor man his space. I take a deep breath and smile, “Of course, when?”

He exhales slowly swallows, “Uh, could we do it in your room? After dinner?” He crosses his arms and shifts his weight from foot to foot. I could tell he was nervous, uncomfortable. It’s time for me to go, “Alright, after dinner then.” With that, I turn giving Steve a small nod and leave. I close the door behind me and once the door was shut I exhale slowly, my heart beating hard in my chest.

“So,” Nat grins stepping out of the darkness, “it’s 'nothing’ right.”

I jump and curse, “Dammit Nat! What normal person just lurks in the darkness?” I glare at her and walk past but she doesn’t give up so easily. “Come on Y/n, there’s something that you haven’t told us yet. I think Wanda knows though, how come she can know and none of the rest can. Does Bucky know.”

I stop in my steps and turn to face her, I glance back down at James’ door before in a hushed voice warning her, “Nat, now isn’t the time.” I turn on my heel and quickly walk to my room, Nat grabs my arm; her grip was of steel. Groaning under my breath I turn to face her with a begging look, “Nat, I want to tell you. But this is something that if I tell anyone, James has to be the first.” She huffs and pokes her cheeks out before nodding, “Fine.”

I nod satisfied and go to pull my arm free but her grip on my arm was still tight, “Actually, if you aren’t busy…” I glance back at her questioningly. “Could you teach me how to make those cookies?” I grin and nod, “Yeah.”

Natasha was quick to return the grin, she doesn’t let go and tugs me back towards the kitchen, “Great, let’s go.”

***

I gasp at the feeling of his cool metal hand press against my skin. “Zima!” I hear him laugh behind me as he raises his hand up further, it brushes against my upper stomach. Cold chills shiver down my spine and I look over at my shoulder to glare at him.

There wasn’t an ounce of guilt in his eyes. “Yes, Doll?” I push his hand from out underneath my shirt and glare playfully at him. “Cold.”

He leans in to whisper in my ear, “That’s the point.”

A different kind of shiver is sent down my spine and he notices. “Zima,” I whisper. He hums and brushes his nose against my neck. “I’m trying to focus on my mission.” He chuckles in my ear and it vibrates through his chest and against my back. “So am I.” I giggle and bite my lip as he gently grinds his hips against my butt.

“Zima,” I sound breathless. He chuckles and nibbles on my ear, I pull away with a gentle laugh. “Let me work.” He growls into my ear and ruts against me again, I gasp and a soft moan escapes. He chuckles again and steps away from me; I glare at him and swallow a whine that threatened to leave my lips. “Tease,” I mutter. I hear him chuckle and shoot him a dirty look. He holds his hands up defensively; his bottom lip tugged between his teeth.

I shake my head free of the dirty thoughts but sigh in frustration when I see that I had lost a visual on my target. I turn to give him a dirty look, he stalks forward and takes the sniper from me, pushing it to the side. “Sorry,” his lips press against my temple, he doesn’t sound sorry at all, “I suppose I’ll just have to make it up to you.”

***

A hand waves in front of my face and I blink. “Y/n? Hello?” Nat stood in front of me with a deep frown on his face, “What’s up? Why do you keep spacing out?” I clear my throat and look down, “Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

She grunts and leans against the counter, “I’ll say.”

Wanda pops up behind me, Vision close behind her. I give them a friendly smile as they join us in the kitchen; Vision helps Wanda up onto the counter. I look down at the cookie dough and start putting them onto the baking pan, showing Natasha how to do so. Last time she tried she hadn’t put enough space in between and it came out a giant blob.

“Hey Y/n?” Vision watches me curiously.

I peek over my shoulder, “Hm?”

“I have become aware that you were raised in a Hydra base.” I nod waiting for him to continue, “So how is it that you know how to make these?”

“Uh…” I swallow thickly and chuckle nervously, “I don’t think you’d believe it if I told you.”

He raises his brow and leans forward, “Try me.”

I grin and let Nat take over, “The Winter Soldier taught me.” All three of them murmur in disbelief, I laugh and nod my head. “It’s true.”

“Is this a story you can tell?” Nat questions. I take a deep breath and purse my lips, “I think so.” I shift to better face the three of them and chuckle at their eagerness to hear. “We were on a mission, we had to stake out for like a week in this sad drabby place. On the one day that I didn’t have anything to do he decided that we would take this chance to bake some cookies. He told me about this recipe that was stuck in his head and he wanted to make it. So, we got the stuff and he showed me how and we made it.” I smile widely, “He had the biggest grin on his face then I’ve seen in a long time.”

My smile falls, “But, the Winter Soldier was always getting wiped. One day he came back and he didn’t remember the recipe anymore.”

Natasha winces and looks down at the baking sheet full of the cookies, “He doesn’t know that you taught him this?” I shake my head and take it off the counter, “No.” I put them in the oven and set the timer, I hand the said timer to Nat and tell her, “These are your cookies, so if they burn it’s on you.”

***

“Thank you for the dinner, Wanda. It’s delicious.” Tony was gorging himself in the food that both Wanda and Vision, mostly Wanda, had prepared. As we continue eating Tony takes a small break to address me, “Hey, Y/n.”

“Yeah?”

“I think your other packages arrived and if they are what I think then the only question I have to ask is, why?”

“I don’t know which one you’re referring to but I can tell you it’s because it’ll make them happy.”

“They are both going to kill us!” He exclaims.

I shrug, “Not me.” He squints at me and I stick my tongue out at him playfully before we both return to our meals. Bruce, who I hadn’t seen since yesterday, clears his throat and points a fork at me and James. “You two are in a better mood.” I peek up to look at James who was looking down at his plate awkwardly, “Er…yeah, I guess you can say we made up.” Banner smiles widely, “Good! Just in time for the Christmas party too.”

We both nod and start shoveling food into our face in an attempt to not have to talk. Bruce got the message and chuckles quietly to himself before turning to Nat and talking to her quietly. The rest of the meal was mostly silent besides the separate conversations the others were having and the scraping of silverware against plates. Finally, once everyone was finished eating I volunteered to take care of the dishes; when I stand up so does James. “I…I’ll help,” He says. I nod and take one stack of plates and a few cups while he took the others and headed to the sink.

Thanks to fancy technology, I didn’t actually have to do the dishes. I just had to rinse them off and set them in the dishwasher. While I rinsed James silently worked stacking all the dishes neatly down into the dishwasher.

“After this,” James starts, not looking up from his task, “do you think we can talk?”

I stare at him for a moment before quickly nodding, “Of course, yeah.”

We finish up the cleaning and head for my room, Steve’s eyes watch us knowingly but Nat stops the both of us. The plate of her cookies in her hand, “Take one.” I sigh, “Nat, I just ate maybe la-” Her eyes narrow and fearfully I take a cookie and speedwalk towards my room, James in tow.

When we reach the door I look back in her direction, “Why am I so scared of her? I could totally take her in a fight.”

“But why would you want to go through all the pain,” James jokes. I look up and smile at him before pushing my door open and stepping inside, he follows closely behind. I let him walk past me and stare at the door questioningly. “Is it alright if I shut the door?” Bucky, who was looking around my room, stops and looks at me hesitantly before nodding. I shut the door and walk over to my bed and sit on it, James takes the office chair and rolls it so he sat in front of me.

I wait for him to start and nibble on the edge of the cookie, smiling at Nat’s success. “She used to much salt,” Bucky states as he ate his own. He was looking down at it as if he was examining it. I shrug it off and smile calmly, “It’s her first time making them, I’m sure she’ll get it.”

“You taught her this?” He asks holding the half-eaten cookie up.

I nod and lick the sugar off my bottom lip nodding, “Mhm.”

“Who taught you?”

I could tell, that glint in his eye, I could tell he already knew the answer. Was he testing me, to see if I was lying again? I answer truthfully, “You did.” His shoulders relax and he leans back. He watches me as I continue to nibble at the cookie. “What was our relationship like, Y/n?”

Alright, straight off the deep end. I take a deep breath, “It was distant at first, but then I got to know you better. We got sent off on missions together a whole bunch, it was good.”

He squints and frowns in confusion, “How was it good?”

I hesitate, “I don’t know if you want to know.” He raises a brow at me and tilts his head, a small but suggestive smirk played on his lips. I chew on my lip, “Before you, I didn’t know what gentle was. I only knew work and perfecting myself. So, after a few missions, it became apparent to me that perhaps I was missing out on something.” I laugh softly, thinking back to it all. “James, you were not as monstrous as they have led you to believe.”

Before he could argue I continue, “You did bad things, everyone has. But you were hardly a monster, the only word I can think of to describe you is that you were a victim. You were stern when training me, you could have been rough and hurt me but instead, you were stern. You made sure that I learned but that I wasn’t miserable doing it.” I look down at my hands, “You were soft with me when no one was looking, you showed me what kindness was and if you hadn’t…” I pause to cringe at the truth, his eyes were wide as he listened, “If you hadn’t treated me the way you did there is no way in hell we would be sitting here right now. I wouldn’t have stopped with Steve, I would have done so much more damage.”

“But what was our relationship, Y/n.” His eyes were wide, silently begging me to tell him.

I swallow down the last of my fear and sniffle, “I loved you, love, I…I don’t know. It wasn’t just you training me and going on missions with me, it was you sneaking into my room to lay with me and teaching me how to bake. How when we went on stakeout missions you made sure that I knew how much you loved me.” I take a deep breath and sigh, I stand up and set the cookie down on my desk. “The only reason,” I start, “that we stopped and you forgot is because of me.” I take the bottom of my shirt and pull it over my head, exposing the large scar that covered my side.

I hear him breathe in sharply and look to see his reaction; he stared at it in confused horror, his hand reaches out and I stiffen. He stops and looks up at me cautiously, “Can I?” I look down and nod, he reaches out slowly with his flesh hand; his fingers graze my side slowly as he touches the slightly puckered skin.

“It’s not as bad,” I force out, “It’s not as bad as when I first woke up. Dr. Banner said that in another year or so it should barely be visible.”

James presses his entire palm against my side and I shiver at the warmth of it. He uses his other hand to pull my hip closer to him. Quietly, so quiet I could barely hear he asks, “What happened?” I inhale sharply and giggle almost hysterically, “There was a bomb, someone had gotten smart. If it hadn’t been for you and your arm I would be dead. You flipped shit though, started to panic because of the blood. They knew that we were more than previously believed, they made you forget. They put me down.”

“I forgot,” he repeats slowly.

I nod, “I promised you though, I made you a promise that I would never forget.” He swallows thickly and lets his hand drop from my waist, he looks up at me with the puppy dog eyes and I could see them fill with self-blame.

“It’s not your fault,” I say quickly, “If it weren’t for you I’d be dead.”

I pull my shirt back on and sit back down on the bed carefully, my legs crossed. He looks down at his metal hand, the one that had taken so many lives. I reach over and tap on the top of his hand, “You saved me.” He holds his hand up and out, “With this?”

I nod, “With that.”

“But it hurt so many people,” he whispers. I shake my head and take his metal hand in my own, I pull it to my lips and kiss each knuckle. “You saved lives with this before, you’ll save more. You aren’t bad anymore James.”

He smiles softly and I let his hand go, he stares down and runs a finger against the knuckles I had just kissed. He looks up, his face more curious, “Why do you call me James?” I shrug and grab my cookie, taking another bite of it. “I can’t call you Zima and it didn’t feel right to call you Bucky, so I settled on James.”

“Zima,” He says the name curiously, he was clearly in thought. I lean back on one of my hands and watch quietly as he thinks, I finish off the cookie that Nat so kindly gave to me. I had run off to la-la-land and when he finally came back himself he says, “Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“You can call me Bucky if you want.” He looks embarrassed as he fiddles with his fingers. “Are you sure?” I ask. He takes a deep breath and nods, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” I beam.

It was silent for a moment before he stands up, I watch thinking he’s going to just leave but instead Bucky leans forward and gives a chastised kiss on my cheek. I stare wide-eyed with a grin I couldn’t fight off, “What was that for?”

He grins back and walks to the door, “Zima really did love you, if you ever doubted that.”

I blink in shock and lean forward, “What makes you say that.”

He sighs before admitting, “I dreamed about you. You and Steve were the focal point; I’d dream about the way you laughed, the way you sang and danced, your lips, the way you somehow always managed to smell like flowers. I never saw all of you though so it never came together that it was you.”

I groan before laughing, “I really should have just been upfront with it all shouldn’t I?” He chuckles and nods, “Sure as hell would have made our lives a bit easier.” He goes to step out but before he does he shoots me a wink and says, “I’ll see you later, Doll.”

A/N: Should I write a part four or leave it here? Becuase if I do a part four I think it might just focus on the Christmas Party and Christmas itself, I am considering smut but in all honesty, I don’t know how that will work out.


	4. Bitter Beginnings pt. 4

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

I sigh in frustration as I stare into my closet, I couldn’t find anything that I liked to wear. A whine makes it’s way up my throat but I hold it back instead, choosing to huff out loudly. As I continue digging through my clothes hopelessly a soft laugh pulls me from deep thought. Glancing over my shoulder I was greeted by the welcome sight of Natasha. “Hey,” I smile softly and step away from my closet. My eyes widen as I get a better look at her, she’s already dolled up for Tony’s Christmas Eve party.

She was wearing a form-fitting cocktail gown that stopped mid-thigh. Black, of course, with red lace that pressed against her skin. “Wow,” I say admiring her, “you look good.” She looks me up and down, her lips pursed, “You aren’t dressed.” I sigh and rub the back of my neck, turning back to look at the rather large pile clothes I had tossed away onto my bed. “No,” I groan, “I can’t find anything.”

“Nothing?”

I’m known for my under-cover missions and going to parties, I always made sure to dress the best that I could. Especially if I wanted all eyes on me. So, that means that I have plenty of nice dresses to choose from.

Blushing I look down at my hands and play with my fingers nervously, “I…uh…I want to wear something nice, maybe get someone’s attention.”

“Someone? Who, Bucky?”

My cheeks darken in embarrassment, I go to wave it off, “It’s not important-” Nat holds her hand up stopping me, “No, no! That’s a good idea, I think you two should finally get rid of all that sexual tension.” I scoff and shake my head, “That’s not-”

“Y/n,” She smirks and raises a brow, giving me a ‘no arguing’ look. I sigh and reluctantly sit back on to my bed, “Fine.” She leans out my door and calls for Wanda, we both wait patiently as she comes to us. Wanda was dressed too, in just as beautiful as a dress as Nat. Her dress was longer and flowed easily, the skirt had multiple sheer layers and then one solid layer underneath them all. A beautiful scarlet color. _They don’t call her Scarlet Witch for anything_ , I think to myself.

They converse among themselves as I watch silently, then both women move over to my closet and start digging through it. Suddenly I hear Wanda exclaim, “This one!” I watch curiously as they murmur excitedly to themselves. I hear Wanda giggle and that makes me nervous. Finally, they pull the dress out. I look between the two of them unsurely, “I don’t know, that’s a little much for this party don’t you think?” They wave off my worries and pull it out all the way. “Nonsense Y/n, it’s beautiful.”

The dress was gold in color, with off the shoulder sleeves that stop at my elbows. The top half was covered in sparkles that shone brightly in the light; the lower half was flowy just like Wanda’s except there was a leg slit. I sigh at the sight of it and the girls giggle excitedly. “Y/n, can we help you get ready?” I nod happily and they quickly lunge forward all three of us laugh.

After almost an hour and a half had passed I was finally dressed and was finishing off the look with black heels. The black heels were a loan from Wanda, they had leaves and flowers that wrapped up the heel.

Natasha wolf whistles and looks me up and down as I pose, “You’re gonna light Bucky up, Y/n.”

I stop posing to glare at her, but a grin was threatening to split my face. "I’m not trying to light him up, Bucky and I are trying to be _friends_ Nat.“

Nat’s lip pulls up into a smirk, "So you’re calling him Bucky now?”

My face flushes again and I look down at the floor, “We talked, and uh, he said that I could call him that.” Wanda laughs softly, “Well, I am glad that you two are getting along now. The angry tension between you was painful to watch.” Nat clicks her tongue and nods in agreement. I look into my vanity and twist around to see myself better, my eyes meet my own nervous face, “Are you guys sure this isn’t too much?”

Nat stands behind me, looking at me in the mirror with a roguish grin, “I’m sure.”

Wanda sighs as she finishes up the last touches, as she does so she looks at me questioningly, “Y/n? How is that you are single? You’re very beautiful.” For the millionth time that night I blushed brightly, “I-” I furrow my brows, why haven’t I? When I think about it, the only reason I can come up with is Bucky. So I tell them, “I haven’t moved on from my last love.”

“Your last love?” She echoes quietly, Wanda sighs and brushes a loose strand from my face. I nod and look away, “Yeah.” Neither girls press, but there’s a knowing in their eyes that if I didn’t know I could trust them I’d be nervous. “Why is it that you can succeed so well with an undercover mission but you’re so nervous outside of them. You can be so elegant when you’re in the zone but when you aren’t you a wreck.” Natasha waits for a response. I pause before answering, “I guess it’s because I was raised to be practical not pretty.”

“But what about all those missions where you had to play dress up?”

I shrug, “I go into the headspace I need to succeed.”

Natasha squints at me before looking at Wanda, both share a similar look; as if a lightbulb had gone off in their heads. “Hey, why don’t you just do that?” Nat suggests. I frown and turn to look at her, “What? Put myself into a headspace?”

She purses her lips, “Well, I wouldn’t say that exactly. Just convince yourself that you are sexy and sweet; that you’re going to go out there and make all the boys weak in the knees and the girls jealous.” I grin and nod, “I suppose that’ll work.” With that in mind, I could already feel my confidence begin to grow. When I look back in the mirror, I hold myself as a woman who knew her place. And she knew that it was on top. I take the time to admire myself in the mirror, running my hands down my thigh and feeling the soft fabric beneath them.

I sigh, “I forgot how good this feels.”

Wanda chuckles as she watches, “Are you feeling yourself.”

Grinning I nod and turn to face them both, “Damn right, I feel like a hundred bucks.”

“You look like gold.” All three look at the door, Sam was standing in it with a wide grin set on his face, “All three of you look great.” I flash him a smile, “Thank you.” Just then Steve pushes pass him, “What’s going on…” He stops and stares at the three of us, “Wow, ladies.”

All three of us giggle, beaming underneath the kind words of the gentlemen. “Thank you boys,” I flash another smile, a bigger one. With one last look in the mirror, I nod at both Wanda and Nat, “I think I’m ready to go, are you.” They nod and with that, we head out and into the large lounge room. I let everyone walk ahead of me upon seeing all of the people already here.

***

I step into the large crowd and find some familiar faces, greeting the distant friends politely. Telling that I was anxious they offer to stay with me and dance with me. So that’s what we did, soon enough I start to loosen up and dance more freely, laughing along with them. I feel all eyes on me but I couldn’t care less; it was only when a few drunk guys came up to join us unwelcomed. At first, I tried ignoring them but they were persistent in making their presence known. Then, after a few tried grinding on me but didn’t get the message I move away. The idiots followed and for a second, only a second, I considered how worth it, it would be to just kill them like I did when I was in Hydra.

Quickly I expel the thought from my head and push myself away from them. The room feels tight and suddenly everything was loud, I swallow down the nautious feeling and pass through the lounge and into the kitchen.

While I pour myself a drink Bucky sneaks up on me making me jump with his voice, “Hey Doll.” I gasp and twist around with my hand braced against my chest, I let exhale sharply and laugh breathlessly, “Hey.”

“What are you doing?”

I shrug, “Pouring myself some juice.”

“You want a real drink?” He asks. I look back at him and notice that his cheeks were tinted pink and he swayed slightly on his feet. Frowning I turn to face him, “How the hell are you drunk?” He simply holds up his glass as an answer. It was a tall glass that was still half full of dark-colored liquid inside it. I take it from him and sniff it curiously, my nose scrunches at the strong scent. “What is this?” I ask handing it back to him. He takes a rather large gulp from it before answering, “It’s Thor’s, from Asgard.”

“You’re drinking mead from an alien planet.”

He laughs, “It’s good, you’d like it.”

I hesitate before shaking my head, “I’ve never been drunk before.”

“What do you mean?” He asks confused. I shrug, “I never got the chance to drink alcohol before I got the serum, and I didn’t bother after because what’s the point?” Bucky groans and shakes his head, “You mean to tell me that I never gave you a drink?”

I smile and shake my head. He pauses for a moment before holding his finger out and starts to walk away but then he comes right back and leans forward with a loopy grin, “You look good.” Then he walks away, back where he came, leaving me with a bright red face. While he was away Peter comes up to greet me with a high-five, “Hey!”

I give him one, “Hey!”

He hops up onto the counter, “Where have you been, I’ve been waiting for you but you haven’t messaged me lately.” I wince and curse under my breath before looking up apologetically, “I’m sorry, there’s been a lot going on lately.” Peter nods, “So I’ve heard, but it’s better now right?”

“It’s better now,” I confirm.

Peter grins before bouncing childishly, “I heard that you got me gifts?”

I chuckle and nod, “I do, you want them now?”

He nods quickly and I chuckle. “Alright, wait here. If Bucky comes back looking for me tell him that I’ll be right back.” Peter nods and kicks his feet in the air patiently. I hurry back to my room and grab the gifts that were in a large gift basket. I make it look more appealing before carrying it back to Peter. While Peter was gone, as I suspected would happen, Bucky returns. This time with two large glasses in his hand. Sneaking behind Bucky I hand the basket to Peter who smiles widely before he could tear into the gifts I stop him, “Not until tomorrow, I already told you aunt May the day I got them all so you can’t wiggle past it.”

Peter groans before sliding off the counter he pouts but it doesn’t last, “Thank’s Y/n.” I wave him off and he grins as he walks back over to where his group of friends were at. I exhale slowly and turn to face Bucky who hands me one of the glasses.

I hold my own glass of juice up in response, “Bucky, I already have one.”

He shakes his head and chuckles, “Darlin’, you haven’t had a drink like this. I promise you won’t regret it.” I squint at him before taking it, I sniff it again before bringing it to my lips and taking a hesitant sip. I nearly spit it back out but force myself to swallow, the fiery liquid burns its way down to my stomach. Making a face I shake my head, “Wow!”

“And as long as you don’t chug it or drink it too fast your metabolism will keep you from getting too shit-faced.”

Bucky seems to be proof of that, the flushed color already went from his face and he no longer struggled to stay still while standing. I lean back against the counter and sip it again, the reaction not as strong. “This can get us drunk?”

Bucky nods and grins at me, “Definitely.”

We both stand leaning against the counters, drinking from the large cup. I had only gotten about a quarter down when my head started to feel hazy and an involuntary giggle escapes my lips. Bucky looks about the same as me, he laughs along with me even though neither one of us are sure what’s funny. Finally, we calm ourselves and I stare at him for a moment, “Hey Buck?”

He hums and turns his head towards me, “Hm?”

“You know, you’ve given me a lot of firsts.”

That gets his attention, he twists the rest of his body to face me, smiling curiously, “Like what.”

I hum as I think, my body swaying to the soft tempo music that came from the lounge. “My first dance,” my voice came out a whisper. I hold up the glass, “First drink.” He hums and nods, a small smile plays on his lips.

I breathe out slowly, “You, James Buchanan Barnes, were my first kiss.” He grins and tugs me towards him, holding me close as we both sway to the music. He leans forward until his lips graze my ear, “Tell me about it.” Thanks to the booze I had some newfound courage and I do so obediently, “We were on a mission, out in the woods all by ourselves in the middle of winter.” I feel him smile against my skin and continue, “I told you about how I felt, you were shocked. Kept saying that you didn’t deserve me. I wasn’t having it, told you it was you or no one else. Then you kissed me.” I sigh at the memory.

“Your lips,” Bucky says slowly, “I thought they were so soft, I felt bad because I knew mine didn’t feel that way. I was scared that I was too rough, that I would hurt you.”

I pull back to look at him, a small smile and tired looking eyes. “You remember,” I say shocked. He nods, “You told me that you didn’t care about rough, that you liked it.”

“I did.”

“I loved you, not just Zima, it was me too,” He admits, “I was there too.”

I grin, “Yeah?” Bucky nods and smiles back, “Yeah.” He lets me go and I grab my drink taking larger gulps from it, letting the loose feeling take over. “Tell me about the Breeding Mission.” I laugh, “So full of demands are we?”

He blushes but doesn’t look away, “Sorry.”

“It was fun,” I purr into his ear. When I pull away he licks his lips. I grin mischievously, “But that’s all you’re gonna hear from me.” He growls and pulls me back to him when I try to move away, I giggle and let him. “Has any other man?” He asks suggestively. I shake my head and smirk, “Just you.”

“Yeah?” His voice came out low, husky. Bucky’s nose brushes against my temple and I sigh at the contact. He groans in my ear, “That sounds perfect.” Worried that the alcohol was starting to take control I look up at him, “Bucky?” He looks down with a wolfish grin, one that made me weak in the knees and my heart skyrocket. I swallow and hold onto the counter behind him to hold myself up, “Is this a good idea?”

He pulls away and I fight the urge to whine at the lost of contact, “Do you not think it is?”

I laugh breathlessly, “No! I am all for this but-” With that, he leans forward, his lips brushing against my neck. I eyes flutter shut as I sigh again but I force them back open, “We don’t have the clearest minds.” He nips at my neck gently and then chuckles against my skin, the ticklish feeling causes a quiet moan to escape. Just then he decides to pull back and stare at me smugly. I sowl but he doesn’t take the look seriously, with his eyes still on me Bucky downs the last of his drink. Then goes to step past me, only stopping to murmur in my ear, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back with more mead and more questions.” 

I nod and watch as he steps away; as he leaves my eyes shift over to where a familiar tall blond was standing, curiosity etched on his face. He steps forward and starts walking towards me, I groan softly under my breath. “Hey Y/n,” Steve grins at me.

“Hi,” I say meekly.

“What was all that about?” He asks, “Bucky was all over you.”

Sheepishly I grin and shrug my shoulders, “I guess it’s the mead.”

“Well,” Shannon slips out from behind Steve, “I’m glad he’s finally enjoying himself at one of Tony’s parties.”

Humming I nod, “It’s fun, but it can be a bit much.” Bucky returns with his signature grin and greets both Steve and Shannon. Steve smirks at Bucky, he had a smug look I almost found unfamiliar, “You having fun?”

Bucky looks back at me and grins shamelessly, “Yeah.”

Steve looks over his shoulder at the large crowd, it was starting to thin out. I frown, “Is everyone leaving already?” Shannon shrugs, “It’s Christmas Eve, probably want to get home and spend some of the time with family.”

I hum and poke my bottom lip out in thought. Steve’s eyes catch the drink in my hand and he raises a brow, “Mead?” I nod and grin, “Uh-huh.” Shannon squints her eyes and tilts her head, “Aren’t you a bit young?” My brows furrow in confusion, “To drink?” She nods and I snort shaking my head, “No! I’m old, well I mean I’m not old but I’m getting there.”

“How old are you?”

I grin, Shannon must not be aware of the news. “I am forty-three.”

Her eyes bulge and I roll my eyes playfully, “So what, your boyfriend can be in his nineties but I can’t be in my forties?”

Shannon sputters, “But how?”

I grimace, “How 'bout I explain it on another day, or Steve here can.” I pat him on his back and grin. He chuckles and goes to reply but somebody from the lounge calls them over. Steve walks away with Shannon, both waving a short goodbye. That left Bucky and me alone again, a drunk Bucky and a half sober mostly drunk Y/n. Bucky must be able to see my gears grinding because he sighs and pushes my drink close to my mouth, “Drink, you think too much.”

“I don’t want to make any mistakes,” I say quietly.

Bucky stares at me, his gaze sharp and piercing into me. “Is there anything that we might do tonight that you’d regret tomorrow?”

I pause, considering his question before quickly shaking my head. “No.”

“Nothing?”

I hold up the mostly empty cup of Thor’s mead, “Besides this.” I purse my lips and look up at him with a small smile, “How about this, tonight we just hang out and talk? Then after that, when we have no alcohol in us I’ll do any crazy thing that you want.” I intend on keeping that promise, Bucky grins pleased with it and nods.

“Alright,” he brushes a loose piece of hair from out of my face, “I think I can do that.” The party was loud and rambunctious around us but in that minute it was just the two of us, the music was just white noise in the background. I tilt my head playfully and look back at the crowd, I see the entire group out on the dance floor having the time of their lives; I want to join. I look back at Bucky and smile playfully, “You wanna dance, Seargent?” Bucky grins and chuckles at the name before nodding; he sets his drink down and takes my hand. Still holding me close, Bucky leads the both of us out onto the dance floor by Steve and Shannon.

Bucky makes sure that we’re pressed close together, swaying with the music.

***

After a few hours, the rest of the crowd had dispersed leaving only the group left. We all sat in the lounge with the T.V on and the music on low. I found myself stroking Bucky’s hair as he laid on my lap; Steve and Shannon had disappeared about an hour ago, Vision and Wanda shared a love seat, Nat was laying in the recliner with a blanket wrapped around her. Thor was sitting at her feet with tired eyes as we all spoke softly and reminisced about the good day. Tony was passed out on the floor in front of us, Wanda had been kind enough to put a throw pillow under his head.

“What do you think about your first Christmass Eve here with us?” Vision’s question was directed at me and I smile kindly. “It was great.”

Bucky snores on my lap and I laugh lightly as I run my hands through his hair. “I don’t think I’ve seen him sleep this peacefully in a while,” Steve pops out with a wide set grin. I take in his appearance and raise a brow, “Have fun?”

He chuckles and runs his hand through his hair, shrugging nonchalantly. I look behind him, “Where’s Shannon?”

“She’s getting ready to go home, she’s visiting family tomorrow.” He answers and sits at Bucky’s feet. I hum and nod, taking notice of the hickey that peeked its way out from under his shirt. I grin and look away back down at Bucky. His face was peaceful, almost childlike, as he slept.

“Do you love him?”

The question makes me tense and I look at the provider of it, Steve was staring at me intensely as he waits for the answer. I open my mouth but nothing comes out, I sigh and furrow my brows in aggravation. “I do.”

“I think he loves you too,” Steve says surely.

“He doesn’t remember me,” I croak out.

“He does,"Steve’s eyes gravitate to Bucky, "I think he’s holding back because you are.” I exhale slowly, my hand had stopped stroking Bucky’s hair and he had started to stir. “I don’t want to get hurt again.” It was a truth that I had been avoiding, “What happens when he-”

“You think too much,” Bucky’s voice makes me jump. It was tired and croaky, he pushes himself up to stare at me, “Doll, why are you always up here?” He taps my temple, “I always see you thinkin’ you’re going to think yourself to death.”

He pushes himself up all the way up carefully and then stands, careful not to step on Tony. He takes my arm and pulls me up, then promptly tosses me up and over his shoulder. “Bucky!” I try to push myself off but his grip was tight and wouldn’t let up. He turns to everyone, “We’ll see you in the mornin’.” They nod and I glare at them all for letting him take me; I make the finger to neck gesture and point at all of them. Bucky bounces me and I grunt and groan before letting myself relax, letting him take me. “Can we go to my room?” He asks pausing at my door, “I’m not planning anything, promise.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “we can.”

He leads me further down the hallway and into his room. Bucky sets me down softly on the ground and walks over to his closet; he tries to unbutton his shirt, his body movement sluggish, he struggles with the buttons and goes to just tear it off but I stop him. I sigh and give him a sideways grin, “Let me.” I pull the buttons loose and help him pull his arms out of the sleeves. He takes the shirt from my hands and tosses it in the hamper, I step back and slip my shoes off sticking them by his door. I reach behind myself and pull the zipper down, I let the dress fall from my body and sigh. I step out of the dress and lay it on one of the chairs he had in his room.

That left me with my strapless bra and matching panties, plus my hair and makeup. “Do you have some clothes I can borrow?” I ask. He turns around to face me and falter when he sees me, I could see him chewing on the inside of my cheek before he nods and reaches in his closet to pull out a shirt and some sweats. Bucky hands them to me, “Is this good?”

I nod, “Yeah thanks.” I take them and pull them on, sighing at the feeling of wearing something so much more comfortable than a dress. I step into his bathroom and wash the makeup off my face, Bucky moves past me and walks over to the toilet. It felt strange as if we were partners again, we moved with each other. I hear the toilet flush and step to the side so that he could wash his hands, Bucky must have been thinking that same thing because before he stepped away I hear him whisper, “Just like old times.”

I hum in agreement and pat my face dry with a loose hand towel. Walking back into the room I see Bucky lounging lazily on his bed, a small grin on his face. “Tony still hasn’t gotten your bathroom set up.”

I shrug, everyone else had a bathroom, I told Tony not to bother. That I could use the public one just as well. “I don’t mind using the public one.” I pull my hair up into a bun and crawl up on the bed, I sit cross-legged at the end of it. “Something tells me,” I start, “that you don’t want to just go to sleep.” He nods once slowly and stares at me in thought, “You love me?”

There’s no point in lying, “Yeah, I don’t think I ever stopped.”

“I have a love for you from before,” he says slowly, “but I think that if you and I gave it a shot it could turn into something much more.”

“More?”

“I’d be able to give you what you deserve now, there would be no reason to hide in the shadows anymore.”

I tilt my head, “Why do you want me? We weren’t on the best terms a few days ago.”

Bucky chuckles and looks down at his hands, flexing the metal one; running his fingers over his knuckles. “That was before I knew that the woman of my dreams was right in front of me.” I laugh and crawl further up the bed, “Yeah?”

He nods and grins at me, “Mhm.” I straddle his lap and hold his face in my hands gently, a soft frown on my lips, “How much do you remember?” 

He sighs and lets his eyes fall shut, Bucky nuzzles his face into my hands, “There are still some blanks, but the more days that pass the more I start to remember.”

“Like what?”

He cracks his eyes open and peeks at me, “I remember the first time I saw you.”

“When I went to Russia?”

Bucky shakes his head and reaches up to hold my hand against his cheek, his stubble tickling my palm. “No, you were only about fifteen I think. You always looked at everything with this really clear look and the way you held yourself, you were sure about yourself and your abilities. I remember thinking, 'she’s a force to be reckoned with’. Then I got real confused because I wasn’t supposed to be thinking anything, just doing the mission.”

“Tell me more,” I plead.

“The first time we met; you were still in pain from the serum but you held yourself high. Didn’t let anyone else know that you were hurting. I helped you to your room, we could barely fit in there because it was more like a cage. You didn’t make a peep until I went to leave, then you told me that you’d see me the next day for training. That you looked forward to it.” Bucky grins, his eyes distant as he thinks.

“I trained you, you always got right back up after I knocked you down. The advisors wanted to know why I wasn’t beating you down when I had the chance but I couldn’t do it. Didn’t want to. The first act of disobedience that I think you caused.”

“Second?” I lean forward eager to hear.

“The second? When you first got punished for failing a mission, I snuck into your room and held you close. The first time I saw you cry. The first time you really smiled for me though,” Bucky smiles fondly, “I decided right then and there that I would keep you safe, somehow it stuck with me. They couldn’t erase that.”

Bucky continues, “The night in the woods, I had wanted to kiss you so much longer than that. Your lips were so soft and gentle against mine. I could have kissed you for the rest of the night.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I should have.”

I run a thumb over his lips, still rough, not as though. Bucky marvels in the contact as if he was starved of it. I feel the same way. My eyes flutter as his hands run up my things, squeezing carefully. “What’s stopping you now?” I whisper.

His hands falter and stop, he stares at me with his wide eyes. “There’s nothing stopping you now,” I tell him. “Kiss me, Bucky. As long as you want, I’m yours.” He does, and I release a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. My body molds into his as he holds me tight, I feel like I could float away and Bucky was the only thing that was keeping me grounded.


	5. Bitter Beginnings pt. 5

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

I woke early in the morning, my body stills at the feeling of another person sleeping next to me. I groan softly at an on-coming headache and perch myself up on my elbows. Turning to look to the right of me; it was Y/n. She was sleeping calmly next to me, I watch the slow rise and fall of her breathing.

_What did you do Bucky?_

I twist to better see her, watching her lashes flutter softly against her cheek. Her lips were still slightly swollen from last night, they looked all the more enticing. Fear constricts my heart as I watch her smile in her sleep, this isn’t right. “Have you no self-control?” I ask myself helplessly. I clench my jaw as I watch her stir, relaxing when she stops and curls further into herself. I look away and breathe out roughly, my hands move up to rake back my hair.

_I can’t do this, there’s no way I can do this._

“Bucky?”

*******

His eyes shift to me and my heart plummets, the same blank cold stare he gave me before. “Are you okay?” I asked reaching up to touch his shoulder. He pulls from my reach and looks away, “It’s, uh, it’s almost ten. Everyone else should be up by now, I’m sure they’re waiting for us.”

I pull my hand away and watch in confusion as he stands up from the bed, still refusing to look at me, and walks into his bathroom. Shutting the door and locking it behind him.

My entire body felt as if it was made of ice, my veins chilled and my chest aches. I guess the mead had more control than we thought. I pull myself up from the bed, wincing at the sudden pounding headache. I exhale slowly and stand up carefully, groaning as the blood rushed to my head aiding the headache. I blink away the rest of the sleep and find my clothes from last night; I drape the dress over my arm and reluctantly bend down to grab my shoes.

With each passing minute, the hangover seemed to be getting worse. I swallow down last night’s dinner that threatened to makes a reappearance and quietly step out of Bucky’s room. I could smell breakfast and it both makes my stomach lurch and growl in response. I hurry to my room and lock the door behind me. “What the hell?” I ask myself seeing the mess of finding the perfect dress. Groaning I toss the dress onto my desk, the only free space beside the floor.

I grab an oversized sweater, black jeans, fluffy socks, and some comfortable underwear then hurry to the showers. Hurriedly, I pull off the clothes that Bucky gave me last night and yank off the strapless bra that has left its mark on my sides. I slide off my panties and put them in a pile before starting the shower and hopping in before it could even get warm. The cold spray of water was welcomed as it soothes my headache and stomach ache.

I don’t spend long in the shower knowing that the rest of the family was probably waiting for me and Bucky to open presents. I curse when I realize I had forgotten a towel and glare angrily at myself through the mirror; it dawns on me that I had managed to bypass a part of my shower routine. Now that I’ve remembered, however, I now do it. There was hardly anything new except for when I looked at my neck; although extremely faded you could still see a faded bruise or two that lined up. It wouldn’t be long before it’s entirely gone though, thank you enhanced healing.

Ignoring the fact that I wasn’t dry I pull on my new clothes and grab my night ones. I go to hurry back to my room but my nose connects with the arm of a very solid being. Groaning I reach up to rub the sore spot and look up to apologize, “Sor-”

“Just watch where you’re walking.”

Bucky walks away without another word and leaves me standing glued to my spot, astounded. “What the hell?” I whine to myself going back to my room. I toss the dirty clothes into the hamper and then start grabbing the gifts that were stashed under my bed. I, carefully, make my way to where the rest were. All were grouped in the kitchen, surrounding the island counter talking amongst themselves happily. 

I slip past them almost unnoticed, Bucky’s eyes meet mine but he makes no movement suggesting he was going to help. He quickly looks away and clenches his jaw. _It’s not like we had sex_ , I think to myself. I put the presents underneath the oversized tree that Tony was persistent on getting, making sure that they were spread out with the rest of the items the others had.

I walk up to the others, squeezing myself in between Natasha and Sam. “Hey kid,” Steve grins, “how was the mead?”

I groan in response and just shake my head. The group chuckles and I scowl at them all before reaching for a plate and grabbing some food. I chew absentmindedly, only focusing when someone bumps my shoulder. Nat raises a brow and nods suggestively at Bucky who wasn’t paying attention, at least I don’t think he is. “What?” I ask, pretending not to understand.

Nat scoffs, “Don’t ‘what’ me, what happened?”

I shrug and glance over at him with a frown, “I _thought_ that it was good.”

“What do you mean you 'thought’?” Nat looks over me at Bucky who had started to follow Steve back over to the lounge. Shrugging I play it off as nothing, “It’s not important, why don’t we open presents.”

She watches me warily and I fake a smile, putting the plate aside and linking my arm in hers. I pull her along with me and lean closer to her, “You’re going to like your gift.”

Nat smirks, “I know, I already do.”

I glare and whine, “Nat you weren’t supposed to snoop.”

She only shrugs in response and we find a seat on the couch, she sat against Bruce who smiled kindly in response. Bucky had been sitting on the arm of it but Steve pushes him closer to me and takes his seat. Thankfully the couch was large enough but it was still a little tight, Nat and Bruce didn’t seem to mind but Bucky was tense next to me. I peek up at him and see him looking straight ahead without expression.

Tony strolls in with a goofy grin and sits in front of the tree, “Who’s ready for some gifts?”

There were some halfhearted cheers in response and after loud groans, myself including. Thor though was perky as ever and grinning from ear to ear. “The mead was great, wasn’t it.” The blonde was _gloating_.

I glare at him and point a threatening finger, Thor chuckles and leans back smugly in his chair. Tony hums and pulls out the first gift, which of course was meant for him. “Look at this, a gift from Steve to me. I wonder what it is.” He goes to tear it open but Nat throws a pillow at him, “Give everyone their gifts before you open yours.”

Tony pouts and glares at her before pulling the others out, handing them to all of us, impatient for his own gifts. Everyone had a small pile of gifts sitting either around them or at their feet. “Alright,” Nat says to Tony, “now, you can.” He grins widely and starts tearing the wrapping paper off. Everyone else does the same, I hold myself back. I read off each name to myself with a thankful smile; I happen to open one of Steve’s gifts first, some sketchbooks and pencils, and laugh softly to myself. He happened to be watching and grins, “I remember you saying that you used to draw before but not often. I thought maybe it’s something that you and I could do together in our spare time.”

Nodding I smile, “I’d like that.”

Steve opens my gift to him next and chuckles, “This is nice, I’ve heard that these sets are expensive.”

I shrug, “Well, yeah, but it’s worth it. It’s got all the best stuff in it.” Steve winks at me, “Thank you, Y/n.” Bucky’s body was tense between us and I move to give him more space by sliding down onto the floor. I hear Thor’s thunderous laughter and almost everyone’s groan follow. He holds up the coffee beans I got him in the air and booms out loudly, “Yes!”

I laugh and hold a hand to my head, “Alright, bring it down just a bit.”

He flashes an apologetic smile and sits back down, sniffing the bag and sighing. I continue to open gifts and pause upon finding one from Bucky, I glance up at him to see him watching. I try to grin but it struggles to makes its way on my lips. I pull the wrapping off carefully and pull it out, it was a small box, not really wide but more so long. I tug the lid off carefully and smile fondly; it was a necklace with a simple charm on it, a forget-me-not flower.

I laugh softly and pull it from its box, Wanda pops over next to me, “What is it?”

“A necklace,” I answer simply. She smiles as she watches me, I admire the necklace one more time before turning to Bucky, “Thank you.”

He swallows and nods, holding his own in response, “Thank you too.”

The blanket was draped over his and Steve’s lap. “And the blanket,” I ask, “is it nice?”

He exhales and looks down at, running his hand over it, “Yeah, just right.”

I smile but when my back is turned I let it fall, he was distancing himself and I can’t figure out why. He seemed okay last night, not so much drunk, I was wrong apparently. I didn’t realize how wrong though.

I finish opening the rest of my gifts, thanking everyone, and watch silently as the others enjoyed theirs. Tony and Sam had grouped together and were looking through the prank booklet while Natasha twirled her newest knives in her fingers. Wanda was already reading one of her books and Vision was simply watching as well. “Did you like your sweaters,” I ask him.

He turns his focus on me and smiles kindly, “I did very much so, and you? You’re first Christmas?”

The room quiets and stills, a sudden tenseness in the air. “What,” Sam stared at me in confusion, “are you telling me that you’ve never had a Christmas before?”

I frown and shake my head, “I thought you knew.”

Tony scoffs, “Well, we knew Hydra was evil, but that evil?”

I smile and shake my head, “Nope, I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated anything until I came here.”

“Anything?”

“I don’t understand,” I say watching all of their uncomfortable reactions, “what’s the big deal?”

Steve scoffs, “I mean, you’ve been robbed of a lot of things. But you’re going to tell me that you’ve never celebrated _anything_? Not your birthday, not Christmas, _nothing_?”

I pause to think before shaking my head again, “I’m sorry, no. Well, except-” I stop myself and look at Bucky, “I mean, I think there was a time or two when Bucky snuck me something sweet for my birthday after he had come back from a mission but that’s all.” I scrunch my nose in thought, “I think?”

Steve turns to Bucky with wide eyes, “Nothing?”

Bucky shrugs, looking helpless. I wave my hands in the air and grab everyone’s attention again, “It doesn’t matter though, I’m getting a chance to celebrate _now_. Let’s have a nice day today.” They all agree grudgingly and I relax once I was no longer stuck under their gaze.

***

Bucky had been giving me the cold shoulder the entire morning and it was up until lunch that I could take it. Finally, after everyone had eaten and gone their separate way go about their days I corner him in the gym.

“Bucky, what’s going on?”

He glares and tries to push past me but I stop him. “Y/n,” he warns, “don’t.” I huff and cross my arms at him, “Listen, I understand if maybe you’re upset about last night, if I pushed my boundaries I am sorry. But, I thought that we were getting somewhere. I-”

“Could you stop,” Bucky growls lowly, “just. Stop. I don’t want to hear this, I can’t have you.”

I frown at his choice of words and furrow my brows, “What do you mean you ca-”

“Could you just fucking leave me alone?” He snarls and steps forward threateningly, “Is that something that you can manage?”

I blink and step away, I stare at him in confusion. “I-” I try to say something but he cuts me off again. “Y/n, leave.” I clear my face of any emotion and nod, “Fine if you want to talk then use your special skills and find me because I am _done_.” I storm away without another word, leaving behind the horrible feeling that he gave me with him. I push down anything else that was left and make myself emotionless. I could feel later when I was alone.

Sam bumps into me as I make my way back up to living quarters, he grins but it falls short when he sees my face. “Hey,” he looks at me concerned, “what’s up.”

“Nothing,” I say monotonously and step around him, continuing to make my way to my destination. He watches as I walk away confused before shrugging and heading to the gym. I stomp past the everything else and head to my room; I slam the door shut behind me and grab a back-pack. I start shoving things that I could think of which consists of come clothes, my phone, laptop, wallet, notebook, pencils, and finally a sketchbook. I yank on my shoes and grab my bike helmet, with my back-pack on my back I hurry into the kitchen ignoring the strange looks that I received from Steve and Tony; I grab a bottle of water and shove it into the side pocket before hurrying outside.

“Wait, Y/n-” I was outside before Tony could finish. My bike was a welcome sight and I breathe out as I hop onto it, welcoming the feeling of the heavy metal under me.

***

Sam walks into the garage with a confused look, he juts a thumb back behind him. “What’s up with her?”

“Nothing,” I growl and move over to the bench press. Sam slips past me and takes a seat on it, I glare at him before bypassing him and grabbing some weights. “You ass, what the hell is wrong with you?” It’s clear in his tone that he knew what was up, I pause faltering as I wait for the berating. “You know what? I’m not even going to say anything.” I look over my shoulder and see him get up, he walks over to the treadmill and plugs in his earphone. Sam mutters to himself, “Best believe you’re gonna get pranked though, for sure.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, turning my back to him.

_“Come on! It’ll be fine!”_

Her voice fills my head and I shake it out. “Get out,” I growl lowly to myself, “I don’t need these damn memories right now.”

_“Zima?”_

I growl and drop the weights from my hand, holding my hands against my temple. It comes like a wave, washing over me and drowning me with the memories.

_The waves were gentle and soothing, she was wading into the water curiously. Fear present in her features for this new thing. I love the feeling that I get when I show her something new. Even now, with her being terrified of the ocean, she pushes for me to join her. To have this little bit of freedom. Stubborn girl._

_“Zima, come in. It’s warm.” She beckons for me._

_I laugh softly and shake my head, “I’m fine from here, I don’t need to explain to them why there’s sand in my arms grooves.” That’s not true and she knows it, although there is rebellion in doing this for her, giving her this freedom; the thought of doing it myself makes fear course through my veins. At the punishment, I would receive if they found out.  
_

_Y/n pouts and rests her fists on her hips, “Please? Just your feet?”_

_I grin and look down at my boots, how bad would it be to just put my feet in. Sighing I bend down and unclasp the boots, I carefully step into the water. Warmer than I had expected. Y/n walks over to me with a grin, “It feels good, yeah?”_

_I chuckle and nod, the feeling soothing. “Yeah.”_

_“Why don’t you come out further, Zima?” She reaches for my arm and pulls it gently with her. Pulling me along with her deeper into the water. My heart starts to skyrocket and I pull back, “I can’t, Y/n.” She smiles gently, patiently. It’s always this way, her pulling and me pushing. I know that eventually, she’ll win and I end up enjoying myself. “Malen'kiy,” I warn her. She laughs, her head falling back as she does. I watch hopelessly, how does Hydra create someone so beautiful._

I shudder and blink, “Malen'kiy?” What an odd nickname to give her, I think to myself, to treat her as a child but to be so in love with her. Why do I hurt her? She will realize that I am not the person she thinks, I am not Zima. I don’t know who I am anymore, but Bucky’s a start.

“Hey, Buck?” I turn to see Steve watching me.

“What?”

“Is everything okay? I thought-”

“No.” The answer was short and blunt. Steve nods and swallows, “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head, “Not with you.” I wince at how harsh it sounded, “I mean, I need to talk to someone else. That’s probably the only way that it’s going to get fixed.”

Steve nods slowly, “Alright.”

I put the weights up and turn to him, “Where’s Y/n? In her room?”

Steve shakes his head and looks almost in pain, “No, she left.” What the hell does he mean left? “What the hell do you mean left, Steve?” Tony pops in, “Yeah, she was pissed about something. Or sad. I don’t know though, it’s hard to tell.”

I groan and let my head fall into my hands, “This is so fucked up.”

Tony scoffs, “I wonder why?”

Another memory forces its way front and center:

_I watch as they carry her nearly lifeless body away, I look down at my hands covered in her blood. I had promised to keep her safe; how complicated was that? A hand rests on my shoulder and I freeze, “What a great mistake you two have made.”_

_“Come now Soldier, we’ll fix this in no time.”_

“Bucky?” It was Steve’s voice that brought me back, I exhale roughly and run a hand through my hair. I focus on him, his face grounding me. “Steve?” It came out rougher than I had anticipated.

“Are you okay?”

I shake my head, “I need to find Y/n.”

Steve pauses before looking over to Tony but I stop them. “Don’t, don’t bother. I know where she is.” I push past them and go straight to the garage. Once I get there I see that her bike is indeed gone. I get on my own and rush out, I know where that romantic idiot’s gone.

***

The ride was too long but I breathe out a sigh of relief when I see her bike parked on the side of the road. I jump off of mine and hurry over to the clearing, groaning when I couldn’t see her. “Y/n?” I yell out.

I hear a branch crack and turn to my left to see her stepping out, “What?”

I stomp over to her and grab her by her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry,” I breathe, “I’m sorry.”

***

I let him hold me tight, unsure if I should believe what he’s saying. Finally, after a full minute of him repeating apologies, I pull back away from him. Holding him out at an arms distance. “Why are you sorry?”

“I-I say awful things to you, I know I make you cry and I don’t…don’t want that. I just-” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair in a stressed motion.

“You just?”

He looks at me, in my eyes, there was a pain that I couldn’t understand. “I kept having this thought that if I kept my distance it wouldn’t hurt as much. Knowing I failed.”

I look at him in utter confusion but he keeps rambling, “I should have tried harder, I should have done it differently. I’m sorry.” Finally, I grab a tighter hold on him and shake him roughly, “Bucky!” He stops and swallows. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“It was my fault that you got hurt and I’m scared that if we get back together then it’ll happen again but this time I won’t be able to save you in time.”

It was clear that he had been holding this in, subconsciously maybe, but still. I sigh softly and shake my head, “Bucky.” He looks down at his feet and his jaw clenches, “I’m not Zima either.” I scoff and laugh, not in a mean way, but of course, I found myself amused.

“Of course you aren’t, I’m glad you’re not. You’re better than Zima. I’m not Malen'kiy anymore.”

He glares at his feet and I hear him mumble to himself, “Yes you are.” I bend down and peek up at him, “Bucky, you don’t have to protect me anymore.”

He peeks up at me, finally looking at me and I smile, “Hi.” I whimper at the sight of tears that threatened to spill and wipe them from his eyes gently. “Please don’t,” I beg, “don’t cry, Buck.”

“If I do this, you have to promise me you won’t get hurt. You will stay at home and stay safe, I’ll build you the best fort and you can stay there.” I laugh at his childish stubbornness, “Bucky.”

“I don’t know if I can survive both you and Steve going out and fighting all the baddies, Y/n. The stress’ll kill me before anything else.” I laugh softly and rub the next tears from his eyes, pulling his face down so I could kiss his cheeks. He pulls me back into a hug and holds me tightly, I could hear his heart pounding loudly in his chest. I look up, resting my chin on his chest and smile, “How is it that I always have to pull you out so you can take your first steps?”

“When I’m with you, it’s easiest to battle my inner-demons.” His answer makes me grin. Bucky stares down at me with tenderness in his eyes. He leans down and pecks me softly on his lips, I lean into the kiss deepening it further and he sighs against my lips.

His rough lips pressing gently against my soft ones.


	6. Roommates

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

I hear a loud groan come from the living room and the slam of the door, sighing I push myself up from the bed to see what was going on. I was greeted with the view of Steve struggling to hold Bucky up; the man was practically on the floor.

I raise a brow subtly as I watch, Steve sees me and looks at me helplessly, “Y/n, please help me.”

I sigh and step over to them helping Bucky up and him leaning on me. I could smell alcohol on his breath and cringe away from the smell, “Thor’s back I presume.” Steve nods as we struggle to Bucky’s room; once we got in I find the switch and just barely manage to flick it on. “I told him to slow down.”

Bucky groans again and growls, “Could you two shut up.”

Steve chuckles and lets Bucky fall onto his bed with a grunt. Steve and I both stand there trying to catch our breaths as we watched him drool on his sheets. “You know,” I say sighing, “you are not light.”

“It’s the arm,” he mumbles.

I laugh and wave for Steve to follow as I step out and back into our small kitchen. I start making Bucky something to drink knowing he’d be paying by the next morning. “You should just let him suffer,” Steve grins. I shake my head and chuckle softly, “No way if I do that I’d be suffering too.”

“He’s being a little mean tonight, you want me to stay the night?”

I shake my head, there’s no point in that. “I can handle Bucky,” I tell him confidently. Steve shrugs and sighs, I go to head back to the room but stop seeing Steve stay behind. “You can leave Steve,” I say grinning at him. He looks at me before nodding and walking over to the door, he glances over his shoulder to smile, “See you at work Y/n.”

I nod and wait till he shuts the door before letting my smile drop and sighing, I hate this. I carry Bucky’s water with me into his room and set it on his bedside table. He was still just the way I had left him, face first in his saliva. I kick at his leg, “Bucky.” He groans but makes no effort to move. I jostle him harder, “Come on, you stink.”

“So?”

“So,” I say pulling him over onto his back, “I do your laundry and I would rather you not let this smell fester.”

He lays back with his arms and legs spread like a starfish. He clearly was in no mood to make this easy for me. “I hate this,” I say to myself. I grab the drink and hold it over his face, “Here, drink.” He takes it and raises his head slowly, just enough to drink it without making too much of a mess. He chugs it all down and I watch wearily, please don’t puke. He hands me the glass and I set it back down on the table. “Bucky-”

“Could you please stop?” He cracks his eyes open and frowns at me, “I’m fine.”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms, “Fine.” I turn on my heel and leave his room, shutting the door loudly behind him and grinning when I hear his groan from the noise. “Remind me why I agreed to be your roommate!” He yells at me.

“Hell if I know,” I grumble to myself.

I plop down onto my own bed and stuff an earbud in one ear, leaving an ear free in case he changes his mind about being helped.

***

I woke up to my bed dipping and feel someone hover over me. If it weren’t for the smell of booze I would not have hesitated to shove the gun underneath my pillow into their face. I turn over onto my other side to glare at him, he looks pale and sweat dotted his forehead. Telltale signs Bucky’s going to get sick very soon.

“Bucky,” I warn, “if you puke in my room again I swear-”

“Can you just help me get into the shower, I’m hot.”

I nod and quickly pull him out of my room, I pull him into our shared bathroom and set him down on the toilet; leaving the bathroom door open so the bathroom wouldn’t get too stuffy and hot. I help him pull his shirt off carefully seeing as each movement made him flash green. I work silently as I undress him and bundle the clothes, setting them on the side.

“What do you want your water to be?”

“Cool,” he answers.

I turn the water on and set it on ‘cool’ the best I could, if it wasn’t right we can adjust it later. Bucky wobbles into the bathtub and sits down in it. “Can you turn the Shower on?” He asks and I nod.

I pull the knob watch as he relaxes underneath the cool spray, “Is this good?”

He simply nods and I while he sat there I took care of the mess, grabbing his dirty clothes and taking them to the laundry room. I start a load of laundry, grabbing his sheets too knowing that he’d laid on them long enough for the smell of booze and sweat to stick. By the time I was finished, I felt exhausted, I plop back down on the floor next to him the shower, leaning against the coolness of the tub.

“Why do you keep doing this to me, Buck?” I ask exhausted.

Bucky scoffs in response I open my eyes and see him glaring at me, “You don’t have to do anything, it’s not like you said no.”

I sit up to glare at him, “Every time I say 'no’ you throw the biggest hissy-fit ever. But it’s not like I don’t give you a place to stay or anything already. It’s not like I don’t cook for you, and clean your mess, and still keep up with my job.”

Bucky’s eyes narrow in anger, “If I’m such a pest maybe I should just find another place to stay.”

I stand up with a huff and shoot him a glare, “Maybe you should, but don’t expect them to be willing to do everything I do.” I stomp out of the bathroom and slam the door behind me. “Selfish, unappreciative-”

“I can hear you!” He yells.

“Good!” I yell back and slam the door to my bedroom, making sure to lock it this time. I tug off my shirt and yank my pants off, “I can’t believe that asshole actually has the balls to-” I hear a door slam and then another signaling that he cut his bath short. I hear a loud groan and then stomping as he approaches my door, he beats against my door and I open it with a glare, “What?”

“Where are my sheets?” He seemed to be just as pissed as I and was fuming out of his ears.

I cross my arms, “They _stunk_ , so I put them in the wash. There’s a spare in the linen closet.”

He goes to leave but his eyes glance down and he swallows thickly. I cover my exposed skin and slam the door in his face, “Pervert.”

***

The alarm was loud and so, so unwelcomed. I throw it across the room and groan loudly when it continues to ring, pushing myself from the bed I stomp over and kick it sighing in relief when it stops. Actually, it seems to have stopped working altogether.

“That’s the third one this week,” I scold myself.

Now, much more awake than I was a minute ago I walk back over to my bed and check my phone for any messages. I got a few drunk texts from Sam and then one from Steve at five. I open it to read what he’s sent:

**Steve:**

Hey, I was wondering how last night went. There was a noise complaint made at your apartment soon after I left, was that you guys?

I grimace, gosh I hope not.

_Me:  
_

I don’t know, we did get to an argument. There was yelling. doors were slammed.

I toss the phone onto my bed and get ready for work. Collecting my work uniform and clean underwear, ready for a shower. My phone chimes and I grab it, reading the text quickly:

**Steve:**

You guys are going to get kicked out, Y/n.

I find myself not caring.

_Me:_

I’ll see you at work Steve

I leave my phone in my room as I go to the shower, slowing down when I pass Bucky’s room and hearing his snores. I hope he gets the worst hangover, I think to myself bitterly.

***

I step out of the shower refreshed and ready to officially start the day. I quickly dry myself off and get dressed, brushing my teeth and hair. When I step out of the bathroom I happen to bump into a bleary-eyed Bucky who only growls at me in response to being bumped into.

I keep silent and walk past him, taking care of my mess. Then, I grab my backpack meant for work and make sure I have everything that I needed. Including my phone that I nearly forgot on the bed. Then I find my shoes and slip them on, I take my time as I walk into the kitchen. Bucky was moving like a turtle and it seemed like every movement and noise pained him. Grinning mischievously I drop my backpack onto the table loudly and say with a little bit more enthusiasm needed, “Hey Bucky!”

He turns to glare at me coldly, a murderous glint in his eyes. My grin falls from my face as he stalks towards me and I step away from him nervously. He holds a butter knife up and points at me with it threateningly, “Do not push my buttons Y/n.”

I grin sheepishly and turn my back to him, “You’re gonna have to hurry if you want a ride today, I have to be in early.”

I hear him mutter and a chair scrape as he sits in it. I turn to see him chewing slowly on a bagel, his eyes falling shut slowly. He looks like a zombie. “Do you need one of my-” I stop myself remembering what he had said last night. I hum and walk over popping some bread into the toaster.

“What?” He asks with a mouthful.

I shake my head and keep my back turned to him, “Nothing.” I hear my phone chime again and go to grab it from the backpack but even in his sleepy, hangover stupor, he was quicker than me. I glare at him and try to snatch it from him but he pulls away in the nick of time.

“Bucky,” I say deliberately loud.

He shoots me a look and proceeds to snoop. “Why are you texting Steve,” he asks, mouth still full. I finally manage to snatch it from him, “First, stop talking with a mouthful. Second, because I can.”

“You got a thing for 'im?” He asks grumpily.

I read the text quickly, it was just a mission report from a while ago, and shove it into my pocket. “It’s none of your business,” I say. He snorts, “So you do? You got the hots for the 'Cap’?” He says it mockingly and I clench my jaw in an attempt to not bite the bait. I exhale slowly and walk back to my toast, “Honestly Bucky, you say it as if your jealous.”

“Yeah? I’m not so why don’t you shut the hell up.” I freeze at the aggression in his tone, turning to look over my shoulder at him. He was looking down at his bagel in distaste, anger very present in his features. I shrug it off and choose to ignore it, eating my toast in silence. Shortly after he pushes himself up from his chair and walks briskly past me.

“I’ll be ready in five.”

***

The ride was silent, Bucky had his head leaning against the window. I had tried to drown the silence out with some music but when I reached for the radio he practically _growled_ at me. “You know, it’s supposed to be my car my rules.”

“Why are you so set on talking?”

I shrug and look at him annoyed, “Perhaps it’s because it’s normal?”

“Nothing is normal at this time in the morning.”

I roll my eyes as we pull into the parking lot. Bucky barely waits for me to park before exiting the vehicle and leaving me behind. I watch as he storms away, his hands shoved into his jeans pockets. Grumbling to myself I get out of my car and follow behind.

“Why did I agree to you being my roommate?”

Maybe it was because I’d hope he’d get the message and ask me out. Ha. Wishful thinking.

***

The day was long and boring, full of paperwork. Something that I was stuck with until I passed my field test. I sit hunched over my desk when someone knocks on the wall overhead, I glance up and smile at Nat’s welcoming face.

She sits on the edge of my desk, “Hey, hungry?”

She holds up a bag of food and my mouth waters, I nod eagerly and she grins handing it to me. While I dug for the food and started to chow down she watches, “So, I heard that you two fought again.” I squint at nothing, “Rogers.”

She chuckles, “Can’t blame him though, you two are capable of committing some real damage. He’s worried it’ll start getting physical.”

I snort and almost choke on my food, coughing she pats my back and continues, “But how’s mission 'Be a Barnes’ going?”

I regain my breathing and glare at her, “I was drunk, how long are you going to hold that over my head?”

Nat smiles widely, “Until it actually happens.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head, “He does not like me, Nat, that’s not happening.” She doesn’t respond and I take the silence as a chance to shove my face full of food. “I think that you two are perfect for each other.” She states.

I narrow my eyes at her, “Was it the fighting that told you that?”

Natasha rolls her eyes and hops off the desk, “I have to get back to work, I have reports to write.” I nod and wave her off, quickly thanking her for the food. “It’s no problem, I know you forget to eat when your neck deep in office shit.”

I sigh in agreement and look at the tower of papers to the right of me, this is going to be a long day.

***

**Bucky’s POV**

I walk into the meeting room and relax upon seeing Steve, he grins when he sees me and pats on the chair beside him. Returning the friendly smile I take my seat and lean back comfortably as we wait for the rest of the group to show up. It shouldn’t take long.

“How was last night?” Steve asks. I look at him with a raised brow, I saw Y/n’s phone, he knows what happened last night. 

Huffing I twirl back and forth in the swivel chair, “I don’t know why you’re asking me that, you already know the answer.”

“I was hoping you’d tell me anyway,” He answers, giving me the same look his mother gave me when I’d done something she hadn’t approved of. I shrug, “What do you want me to say? We fought, nothing different.”

“Y/n was trying to help and you were an ass is what happened. Nothing different at all.”

I glare at him, “Why do you care?”

Steve scoffs in reply, crossing his arms and clenching his jaw. His mouth was set in a stern frown, “Buck, Y/n has helped you more than _I_ would be comfortable with doing. Y/n has stayed up for hours just sitting at your side after you’ve had an episode, even when she needs sleep. She’s taken care of you after missions gone bad and when you’ve just been stupid. What have you done in return?”

I breathe roughly out of my nose and go to stand but he grabs my wrist tightly and pulls me back down in my seat, “Can you even answer that? What have you done in return for her taking you in and doing all the shit she does?”

I pull my arm free and shoot in a look, but in reality, I couldn’t think of anything that I could say to defend myself. Steve could tell and sits back in his seat with a nod, “That’s what I thought.”

**Y/n’s POV**

I hurry into the briefing room, breathless as I hand Maria the stack of papers that would inform them of their next mission. I go to leave but she grabs my arm, “Oh no, you’re going to have to stay.” She nods to the free seat next to Nat, confused I take it and settle down into it. Maria proceeds to lay out the briefing folders in front of everyone including me. Now, I was not the only one confused, everyone else’s eyes hovered over the folder in front of me.

I hadn’t even realized I had typed my name out on it. To distracted by simply getting the task done. Maria stands in the front and instructs us all to open the folder, doing so I see my name and mission at the top:

_Task: Shadow Natasha aka Black Widow_

_This is your field test, succeed and you will be a new field agent._

I couldn’t help it, a grin split my face in half and I squirm in my seat excitedly. “Y/n, you have promising similar abilities as to Natasha, we hope that with her training you can hone those abilities.”

“Wait, what?” Bucky eyes were staring straight at me, he looks incredulous as it registers. He points at me and looks at Maria, “There’s no way she’s going out into the field.” I raise my brows in disbelief, my clenching in annoyance. “Bucky, that’s not up to you.”

He looks back at me and growls, “No. Not happening.”

I cross my arms and glare, “What’s your problem Bucky?”

He scoffs and sneers, “Y/n, I live with you. There’s no way you could survive a day out there.”

Glowering at him and jutt my chin defiantly and narrow my eyes, “We’ll see, won’t we?”

He scoffs again and turns away from me, I huff and do the same. Directing my attention to Maria who continues after a beat of silence, “You are well skilled in shooting, fighting, and collecting data. Your main task is to will to be Natasha’s shadow, but you will be there as the backup. Stay away from the fight if you can.” I nod and she turns to Natasha, “You know what you need to do, hack into the system and get all the information you can.” Natasha smiles and Maria starts addressing the others that were in the room. Which was Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam, and I.

The meeting lasted only fifteen minutes, the second we were dismissed Natasha was dragging me behind her, “Let’s get suited up and get this done. I have a date tonight.” I grin, “Let’s do this.”

***

I grin smugly at Bucky who sat across from me in the helicarrier. He glares at me, his eyes never leaving mine for a second. Albeit I was sore and beaten but I had been able to take care of myself; I had not for a second needed the help of the others.

We got home in no time, Maria being the first person any of us saw. She greets me as I walk off the carrier, “I’ve already heard, congrats.”

My grin widens, “Thanks.”

She turns to leave, pausing to look over her shoulder, “Welcome to the team.” I giggle, feeling almost high as I nod. She walks off leaving me alone to dance in my spot. Steve pops up behind me watching with an amused smile, I only realize he’s standing there when I start spinning in a circle. I squeak out in embarrassment and look down at my boots as I flush brightly.

He chuckles and claps me lightly on my back, “You did great, Y/n.”

I peek up at him through my lashes, “Yeah?”

He chuckles and nods, “Yeah. I’d suggest getting home soon though and taking a cool shower or an ice bath though. Sore muscles aren’t a joke.”

I nod, “Alright. Thanks.” He nods and steps around me, Bucky had held back watching me with a conflicted expression before finally he steps up and awkwardly pats my back. “Good job.” I smile proudly and we start walking back, “I told you I could do it.” Bucky was quiet, he didn’t reply and instead sped up his walking, bypassing me and stopping when he reaches Steve. I don’t take it to heart, watching as they conversed quietly with one another. Steve had started frowning and looked upset as they continued, I slow down as to not get caught up in it but I had to get into the elevator with them.

***

I had done the cold shower like Steve suggested and it was a blessing. By the time it was time for me to get to bed or at least settle down my entire body had started aching deeply. I decided that I wasn’t going to move from my spot on the couch until morning.

Bucky had been silent for the rest of the day and while at first, I had relished in it, not I find myself concerned. “Bucky?” He was sitting in the recliner balancing an icepack on his face, “Hm?”

“Why are you being so quiet? Is everything alright?”

Bucky looks up at me, letting the icepack slide off his face and land on his chest, “Why do you care.” I shrug, “Just worried something was wrong.”

“No seriously, why do you care?” He sat up, an annoyed expression on his face. I sigh expecting another argument to rise from this conversation. I go to answer but he cuts me off, “I’m an ass, right? I don’t do shit to thank you for letting me live here with you or all the other bullshit I put you through. So why do you care? Why haven’t you kicked me out?”

I pause, he looked down at his clenched fist in aggravation. Finally, I answer, “I don’t want you to leave.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, I sit up wincing at the pain it caused. “Bucky, I don’t mind doing all this stuff for you. I don’t mind doing the dishes and laundry, or just cleaning the house in general. Hell, I don’t mind taking care of you after you get shit-faced. It’s when you become an unthankful ass that I have a problem. I love you and I want the best for you-”

“You love me?” His tone had taken a turn, instead of the roughness or sharpness, it was soft.

I scoff and look away, “No.” I grab a pillow and throw it at him. He catches it but a corner still hits his face, he doesn’t look annoyed or upset but he grins widely. Evily. It dawns on me that perhaps throwing the pillow wasn’t the best idea, I grab the other one and hold it up in defense, my eyes wide as I watch. Slowly, Bucky gets up and stalks towards me. “Bucky?”

He chuckles and then raises the pillow high above his head. Squealing I hide underneath the pillow as he throws it at me full force before I could grab it back he takes it again and starts wacking my legs with it, lightly.

I laugh and start hitting him back with my own, Bucky snatches the pillow from my hands and throws it away from us across the room. I cover my face but he abandons his own pillow and brings his fingers to my side. I gasp at the ticklish feeling and wiggle away from him but he straddles me and keeps me pinned beneath his legs. Shrieking, I battle his hands and try pushing him away but Bucky is much, much stronger than me.

It was only when I warned him of my weakening bladder that he finally stopped his assault. Both of us were breathless, his face set in a grin of satisfaction. Catching my breath I glare at him, “Jerk.”

“Y/n?”

He lets his weight off of my legs and smiles, it crinkles his eyes and he scrunches his nose. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” I look at him incredulously.

“I…I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be an ass.”

I laugh and press a hand against his chest as I scoot up, careful not to knee him _anywhere_. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can handle you being an ass anyway. I can be just as much of an ass too.”

Bucky’s smile softens, “I know, but, can I make it up to you?”

Frowning I tilt my head, “Make it up to me?”

Bucky shifts and looks down flushed, “Well, first I could, like, clean and do everything you do for as long as you want. Second,” he pauses looking up at me, an eager glint in his eyes, “do you think you could go on a date with me?”

I laugh in disbelief stopping when he stares at me seriously, “Actually?”

“I mean…if you don’t want to…” Bucky goes to get up but I grab his arms keeping him down, “No, no! I want to, I mean, of course, I do. I just didn’t think you were being serious.”

Bucky frowns, “Why would I lie?”

I shrug and my hands falling from his arms to his hands, “I don’t know, I hardly get asked to go on dates anymore.” Bucky grins and leans down, “You’re welcome for that by the way.”

Bucky stands up, chuckling at my reaction, “No!” He picks me up from the couch and carries me back to my bedroom. “So, I was thinking maybe that thai restaurant down the street?” He completely bypassed the whole 'you’re welcome for that’ thing. He sets me down gently and tucks me into bed, “Hang on!”

“Oh, and Steve and I love the whole 'Be a Barnes’ thing. That’s definitely a thing we should work on.”

“HANG ON!”


	7. Please Don't Go

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

“Hey Y/n, are you gonna try and lift Thor’s hammer?” Steve leans against me, his arm draped around my shoulders. Laughing nervously I shake my head and pulls myself out of the wrap he had me in, “No, I think I’ll pass.”

I walk over to where Bucky was sitting, standing next to him and flashing a small smile. He repeats the action but his smile falls quickly as he glares across the room. “Are you going to join us?”

Bucky shakes his head, “Nope.”

I frown and sit down on the barstool next to him, “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head again and frowns at the glass in his hand. Wanda calls for me, “Y/n, come check this out!” Her and Nat beckon for me to come over, wide and drunken grins on her face.

I look back at Bucky worried, “Are you sure?”

He huffs and shoots a glare in my direction, “No, go ahead and go.”

I step away hesitantly, unsure as to why he was acting this way. It wasn’t unusual for him to linger away from the center of the party but he was obviously upset about something.

Sighing, I walk over to where Nat and Wanda were standing and they pull me into a tight threesome hug. I laugh softly and grin when they finally let me go, “Why haven’t you been drinking?” They push a drink into my hand, I swallow nervously and politely refuse it. “I don’t…really drink.”

Wanda pouts and Nat shrugs, downing the drink herself. “Hey, hey…” Sam stumbles over to us and almost falls, as it happens he trips into my chest. I catch him and help him back up while my face flushes brightly. “Sorry,” he grins, there was not an ounce of ‘sorry’ in him. I push him away and put on a fake pout.

Sam was about to leave when Bucky sneaks up behind him and yanks him away from us. My eyes widen in shock as I watch my boyfriend toss our friend onto the couch. “Don’t fucking touch her!”

“Bucky,” I grab his arm and make him face me, “why did you do that?”

He yanks his arm out of my hold, “Oh you want that? Him?” Bucky was swaying and I look behind him to the others helplessly. He sees and it only pisses him off further, he spins around and snarls at them, “What? Do you want one of them? Hm?”

He was drunk, how I hadn’t managed to see that when I was standing next to him is beyond me. Bucky spins back and points a finger at me, “You can have them, you goddamn whore.” I step back, my eyes wide at his accusation. “B-Bucky.”

He sneers at me and twists around on his heel, going for the elevator. My heart jumps when I realize he was going to try to go home. “W-wait Bucky!” I follow behind and reach out to grab him, he pulls his arm from my reach and growls out, “I’m going home.”

I manage to slip into the elevator just as it shut. “Bucky, you aren’t driving. You’re drunk.”

“What the hell are you doing Y/n, don’t you have some cocks to suck up there? Asses to kiss?” He takes a step forward and out of habit I step back out of fear and hold my hands up defensively.

“I’m not going to hit you,” Bucky grunts.

I lower my hands and swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. My breathing was ragged and my heart was pounding wildly in my chest, “Just let me take you home.”

He growls and pushes back against the wall of the elevator, “No.”

“You can’t drive,” I whimper out, “It’s not safe.”

“I’ll drive if I want to.”

I laugh breathlessly, those were the last words of my father. The abusive ass that he was, how does he still manage to affect me. I try again, “Bucky please.” We reach the floor and he pushes past me, heading straight for the car.

I groan out and hurry after him, “Bucky!”

I was on a borderline panic attack as I watch him walk around the hood of the car. “BUCKY!” I finally yell, scream. Desperate. My breathing was labored, thankfully he stops and glares at me.

“Please, please don’t. Please.”

My chest constricts with fear and I fist at my shirt. Tears were streaming down my face as I sob helplessly. He watches me, his face relaxing from the angry look he had been giving me. “Y/n?”

“Y-you can be mad at me but p-please just come back, or…or let me drive. Y-you’re drunk and it isn’t safe.” I beckon weakly for him to come back and slowly he does. I sob and grab onto his arm tightly once he was in my reach, pulling him closer. “C-come on Buck, let’s go.”

He was watching me, looking panicked, “Baby?”

I swallow down my ragged breaths trying to slow them; I pull Bucky back into the tower. My heart was beating painfully in my chest, my cheeks were on fire, and now that I know he’s not going anywhere I let my knees buckle and fall onto the cool floor beneath us.

Pressing my forehead into the cool tile I groan and wrap my arms around me, squeezing tightly.

“Y/n! Baby, I’m sorry.” Bucky sounds much soberer than before. He crouches down next to me and pulls me up, “Baby?”

I whimper and rub my face free of the tears and snot that were running down my face. Bucky brushes back the hair that was stuck to my forehead and looks at me worriedly, “Doll, you gotta breathe.”

I nod and inhale shakily, trying to get as much air as I could. He pulls me into a hug and murmurs softly, “It’s okay, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I let him rub my back and continue to whisper soft things into my ears, “Baby, I love you. I am so sorry.”

Bucky’s body was warm, much warmer than the air around us. I inhale deeply and take in his scent as I sob softly into his shirt. “I’m sorry Baby, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

“Shit. Babe, please stop crying. Please, I am sorry.”

I sniff and pull away, I look down and wipe my eyes. My breath trembles as I peek up to look at him, worry very present on his features. “B-Baby?”

I sniffle and try to smile but I couldn’t manage. Bucky reaches up to cup my face, running his thumb across my cheek tenderly. “I’m sorry,” his voice cracks at the end. I see tears well in his eyes and crawl into his lap, snuggling against his chest, “We’ll fix this.”

“You aren’t leaving me?”

I can hear Bucky’s heart beating loudly in his chest, I shake my head and feel his lips press into my hair. “I love you, I’m sorry. I love you.” He keeps apologizing.

I pull back and look at him sadly, “Why would you say and do such a thing?”

His bottom lip trembles, “They are so much better than me, I’m scared you’re going to leave after you see. I don’t deserve you, especially not after calling you a whore.” I press my lips together and lick my lips, “That’s not okay.”

He shakes his head and looks down, “No.”

“But, like I said before we can fix it. Right now, just promise me you won’t try to drive drunk. We’re going to go back up and stay the night here at the Tower okay?”

Bucky nods and takes a deep breath, we both stand up. I wobble slightly on my feet and sigh. Bucky holds onto my waist as I steady myself, watching me warily. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nod and grin weakly at Bucky, I gesture to the elevator, “Let’s go.”

As we wait for the elevator to reach the level we hear F.R.I.D.A.Y.S’ voice chime, “Mr. Barnes, Mr. Stark has told me to inform you that once you reach the lounge level please, these are his words, prepared to get the beating of your life.”

Bucky sighs and looks down at his feet, “Thank you.”

Steve and Tony were waiting outside the elevator with crossed arms. Nat reaches out from behind him and yanks me away, pulling me back over to the couch and sitting me down. “Are you okay?” She asks crouching down in front of me. I nod and sniffle, “Yeah.”

I hear the sound of someone getting punched and turn to look at the back of the couch, seeing Bucky hold his jaw in his hand and Tony massaging his knuckles. I hear Steve sigh and look at the two with slight annoyance, “Let’s go talk.” The three of them leave, going into the other room.

I turn to look at Natasha who was still squatted down in front of me. “We saw what happened on surveillance, are you sure you’re okay?” I nod and smile feebly, “Yeah, it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Wanda slides down next to me.

“Yeah,” I answer and sigh. My body was drained from the near attack I had, I wanted to sleep. Natasha and Wanda both saw and understandingly gave me the space I needed.

***

“Baby?” I hear Bucky’s hushed whisper and groan cracking my eyes open. He smiles softly, “Hey, Doll.” He picks me up from the couch and confused I peek around, it was dark in the lounge; the lights were turned off.

“Bucky?”

“Hm?”

“Where are we going?” I asked struggling to keep my eyes open. 

“I’m gonna lay you down in my old room,” he answers quietly. I hum and brush my lips against his neck, snuggling into the crook. I hear a door crack open and we step into a considerably cooler room, groaning I press myself further into him.

“I know it’s a little chilly, I got some extra blankets for you.”

I frown in my sleepy stupor, the way he says that it’s as if he wasn’t going to be laying with me. He shifts me so he could hold me up with one arm and pulls back the covers.

Gently Bucky lays me down and tucks me into bed, he goes to leave but I grab his wrist, “Don’t go.”

“Baby, I would love to stay but I don’t think I should.”

I shake my head and sit up, I hear him sigh and he pushes me back in bed, “Lie down Doll, I’ll be here tomorrow.” Pouting I shake my head stubbornly, “No. Lay with me, love me.”

Bucky chuckles softly, “I do love you.”

I pull on him harder and hear him exhale. Finally, he gives and climbs over me, “You’re so stubborn.” I feel him crawl under the covers and once I knew that he was settled I snuggle into him, “Who needs extra covers when I have you?”


	8. It's Okay

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

Looking down at my hands in betrayal I blink back the tears that threatened to fall. I should be able to trust my powers, they shouldn’t hurt me. They shouldn’t hurt anyone. 

They do. 

I have third-degree burns covering most of my arms and legs, my stomach and torso also a victim to the ‘spark’. 

It shouldn’t have happened, I was in control. I was. I thought - it doesn’t matter. I made the mistake, I will face the consequences. Currently, facing the consequences meant sitting in a specially made cell and waiting for word from Steve.

I bite on the inside of my cheek as I fight the urge to itch at the burns, already they were healing but the process was not fun nor easy. 

I think back to how this happened:

_“What out!” I blast away the man who almost tackled down Wanda. She thanks me and hurries down to where civilians were, showing them to safety._

_I keep them away from her, the urge to just blast everything was strong. That was what I used to do before the Avengers saved me, I was a bomb that no one could diffuse. I was taught that was the only way to use the spark, so to do it any other way was new and foreign to me._

_I swallow down the instinctual urge again and battle the people in front of me. Doing what Wanda had taught me and flinging them away. They keep coming. I peek back behind me to see Wanda struggling to convince people to go with her._

_“Hurry,” I yell to her, “I need to blast.”_

_“Not yet!"_

_I roll my eyes and huff, I knew that. I groan as the 'pressure’ built, fighting it down again but knowing that I can’t do that forever._

_"Wanda,” I yell a bit more desperately._

_“Wait!"_

_I could feel a bite on my skin and look down to see my clothes burning and my arms turning red. The feeling was all over so I can imagine that it looks the same anywhere else._

***

I had tried to wait, I did. I can’t remember how it happened, it just did. I never wanted to hurt anyone. 

I furrow my brows, my lips curls in frustration and I clench my hands. "Y/n?”

My eyes snap up to meet Steve, he was watching with a concerned expression. Clearing my throat I blink away the tears and steady myself, “Yes?”

“Since no one was harmed they are letting you go back home to the compound, where you will be under house arrest until you can better control your powers." 

"House arrest?”

“Let’s go,” he reaches his hand out for me to take, pulling me from the position I sat in on the floor. I was surprised to see Bucky waiting for us outside of the cell door, looking as stoic and reserved as always. But, when our eyes meet his lips pulls up into the faintest of smiles. And not one of sympathy. 

As we walk down the hallway I can feel the guards watching us tense, I can feel the tension literally. It feels like a tight ball that only winds tighter. I push the feeling out and focus o the back of Steve’s head. 

***  
“We had to make some changes,” Tony’s voice was soft, soothing, “I tried fighting them on it but they said if I didn’t you couldn’t come home.”

I sigh as I look around my newly decorated room, the walls had changed and so did the floors. It went from what was a soft grey color with white carpet to dark gray walls and floor. Made of the same material that was in my cell. 

“It keeps my powers at bay,” I murmur, “it’s understanding that they wanted this.”

Tony pats my back softly, “ We’re going to make the best out of this.”

“I won’t ever be able to control my powers,” I look down at the ground, tears hot behind my eyes, “I’m going to be stuck here.”

“I won’t let that happen,” Tony promises. 

I laugh lightly and shake my head at his determinedness. Tony sighs and pecks me on my forehead in a fatherly fashion, “For now, you still have your bed and I snuck your covers back in." 

"Thank you,” I smile trying to hide the pain. 

“Let’s go see Banner about those burns and then you’re going to bed." 

I nod and let him take me to the lab, Banner was focused intently on something onscreen. Bucky was standing next to him, looking just as focused. Banner looks up and grins kindly when he sees us, "Hey.”

Tony gestures to me, “Help her, Doc. Those burns are itching like crazy." 

I scoff and shake my head, Tony glances back grinning at me. Banner immediately puts on his professional face and steps forward, patting the free-space on the counter. I hop up and hold my arms out, already knowing what he’s planning on doing. 

Bucky walks up next to me, taking one of my hands and pulling it towards him; he twists my arm carefully as he looks it over. "Doesn’t this hurt?" 

I shrug, "Not that much. Like Tony said, it itches more than anything. It’s the healing.”

“Huh,” he continues looking over my burns. 

Banner notices his interest and grins, “Why don’t you help me, Barnes? I could use it with all the burns she has today.”

Bucky looks up and nods, “What do you need me to do?" 

Banner holds up some cooling gel and says, "Let’s get this on, it’ll soothe the burns and the itching.”

Bucky nods and takes it from him, holding the bottle in his metal hand and squirting it onto his flesh one. I watch intently as he scans where he wants to start, he settles on my arms first. I sigh as he presses the gel onto my skin, the effect was immediate and felt great.

Bucky chuckles and peeks up through his lashes at me, grinning widely, “That felt good?”

“Great,” I groan. Banner works on wrapping what Bucky does into a wrapped bandage. Once they got what they could reach Banner gestures to my shirt, “Alright, you know the deal.”

I don’t bat an eye as I hop off the counter and, knowing that he would ask me to anyway, strip down to my underwear. Banner hardly blinks as he continues working but Bucky is noticeably more flustered as he works, his hands skimping over my chest as he does the gel there. Unfortunately for him, the worst of my burns and the place that needed the most gel attention was my chest. 

Banner notices his hesitation and smirks to himself as he works, “Don’t tell me that famous Bucky Barnes, womanizer and ladies man, is afraid to touch her chest? It’s purely medical until you make it not." 

Bucky’s eyes shift from Banner to me to my chest before he nods and swallows, working more diligently on me. His cheeks were on fire, much more flushed in color compared to what they usually are. 

They finish and I was given a new set of clothes, then like promised I went to bed. 

***

"Ms. Y/l/n?”

I groan and crack my eyes open, grimacing when the lights are turned on. 

“Ms. Y/l/n.”

I sigh, “Yeah?”

“I’ve been told to wake you if you started getting a little heated,” F.R.I.D.A.Y informs. 

I pause, sniffing the air tentatively, I don’t smell anything burning. “Whats my core temperature?" 

"Only at 105,” she responds. 

“That’s not too bad,” I say shrugging. 

“It was rising until I woke you, were you having more bad dreams?” The way she asks never fails to give me chills. Not that I don’t like having her sound as if she cares but I know that she was programmed to do it. It’s creepy if you think to much about it. 

“Yeah,” I reply softly looking up at the ceiling, “it’s gone now.”

It was silent for a moment and I thought that I heard something outside my room, “Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes?”

“Who’s up at this hour?”

“Mr. Barnes as per usual." 

"Can I go see him?" 

"There’s nothing saying I can’t let you, I’m sure he would like seeing another person." 

I hop up and off the bed, my feet padding softly to the door. It was different from the others, a sliding one that turns into a part of the wall once it’s shut. I push against it and it unseals, sliding open. Briskly I walk past and hurry over to where I had heard Bucky. 

He was sitting in the lounge, his head laid back as he sips on a drink. It was quiet except for the sounds of the house. He either didn’t know I was here or didn’t care. 

"Bucky?" 

I laugh softly when he jumps in his seat, turning wide-eyed to face me. Once he sees who I am he relaxes and smiles, he furrows his brows in confusion, "What are you doing up?”

“I had a nightmare and my temperature was rising, F.R.I.D.A.Y woke me.”

“Because you were getting a little hot?” He asks in confusion. 

“My core temp was at 105, I’m sure it’s gone down already.” I walk into the kitchen and grab myself a water, this will help it go down further. I join Bucky on the couch taking notice in his night apparel; he was wearing a black tank top and gym shorts. 

I raise a brow, “Going out for a run?”

He sighs, “I was thinking about it.”

I hum and tuck my feet under his thighs comfortably, he smiles at my feet then at me. I smile back and scrunch my nose playfully. “You know,” he says sounding a little unsurely, “I think I might be able to help.”

“What?”

He chews on his lip in thought, “I know that the facility we rescued from was extremely similar to Hydra, especially with their work ethics.”

“Yeah,” I frown waiting for him to continue.

“When you blast, it isn’t because that’s what you need to do but it’s what you think you need to do, right?”

“More like its muscle memory except stronger, I am going to have work extra hard.” I scowl at the thought, knowing that it’s going to be taxing on me. 

Bucky nods, “I know exactly what you mean. I always have to fight the urge that I get from the Winter Soldier.” Bucky laughs softly and looks down at his metal hand, flexing it. 

“When Steve found me, I had no intention of actually killing people. None. But, I was prepared to fight and I guess for the Winter Soldier there’s a blurred line because I tossed a man down from a very long drop. Steve caught him.”

I hardly ever hear these stories, interested I scoot closer, “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I understand you. It’s hard to undo all that’s been ingrained in you. What’s worse is that is something that you’ve been taught since birth. It’s not going to be easy.”

I grin and look down at my knees, resting my cheek against them. Bucky reaches up and starts stroking my hair, “I hate seeing you like this, pent up. They’re wrong for doing it.”

I hum and blink slowly. 

He continues stroking my hair and I move to lay my head on his lap, sighing happily as he does. I hear him chuckle and he moves to trail his finger along my spine sending delightful shivers up it.

“Hey Y/n?”

I pick my head up and he smiles an almost bashful smile. It’s cute. “Yeah?”

“If you want, we can work together, to help your blast instinct. We can work on the exercise that I used, see if it works.”

I grin, “Really?”

Bucky nods and rubs the back of his neck, “If it works, I was wondering…”

“Yeah?” My grin grows into a smile. 

“If maybe, once you can, we’d go out and go to this cafe that Stevie and I used to go to before. I mean we still go now and it’s almost the same, I was just-” He’s rambling now. I sit up watching him fondly, “I never took anyone there but I think we could really get to know each other while training and I like you already. Steve’s mom used to tell me that if I ever found someone who makes me feel this way to try my hardest to make them happy. I want you happy, I do really, I do-”

I put my hand over his mouth, smiling warmly as he stops, his eyes wide. I feel Bucky smile against my palm, “I’d love to.”

I pull my hand back and he jumps up excitedly, “So it’s a date?”

I giggle and nod, “It’s a date." 

He laughs almost too loudly and I shush him beckoning for him to sit back down but he wouldn’t. "Let’s go now, to the gym.”

Pursing my lips I tilt my head and look at him questioningly, “Are you sure? Maybe we should wait and talk to Steve and Tony tomorrow, I wouldn’t want another accident to happen at the wrong place. Tony would know how to make it safe.” I see realization dawn on him and he nods quickly, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

There were still shadows under his eyes and he and I both needed to get back to sleep. “Let’s go back to bed, I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?” He smiles and nods helping me up, we walk together back in the direction of our rooms. Bucky pauses once we reach mine, “I meant to ask, how are your burns.”

I had forgotten all about them, and knowing the answer I reply, “They’re all healed now, thank you." 

He smiles relieved and nods, "Goodnight." 

I stretch up and kiss him quickly on his cheek, "Goodnight, Buck.”

***

“There is no reason for her to be locked up anymore,” Steve argues. 

Tony crosses his arms, glaring at the two large man that stood in front of him, “There absolutely is.”

“What’s that?” Bucky glares.

“You, you’re going to take her out on a date and I can’t handle that. I know what happens after dates Barnes, I don’t approve of what happens.”

“She’s an adult.”

“No.”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“You’re right, I am.”

I watch amused as the three of them banter back and forth, all for three separate reasons. Steve looked exasperated, only wanting to give me my freedom. Bucky just wanted to take me to the cafe. Tony didn’t want Bucky taking me anywhere.

“Her and Bucky worked really hard,” Steve tries again, “they should be able to celebrate.”

I chime in, “Pretty please?” I make sure to bat my lashes and smile sweetly. Tony looks at me and huffs out loudly, finally tossing his hands in the air, “Fine.”

I smile and get up from my seat on one of his workbenches, walking over to kiss him on his cheek. “Thank you.” He grumbles and crosses his arm, mumbling to himself. I hold my hand out for Bucky to take and he does so happily, pulling me in and cupping my cheek softly. I see his eyes flash to look at Tony and chuckle softly as he lays a gentle kiss on my lips. 

Tony groans and pouts as we walk out of his shop, Steve chuckling beside him.


	9. Just in the Knick of Time

**Pairings: Cop!Bucky x Reader**

* * *

I hum quietly to myself, checking the clock on the wall for the time. Bucky would be home soon, I feel a pang of loneliness but push it off. He’s off for the next two days, I think I can survive an hour or two. 

I feel a gentle flutter in my stomach and smile fondly down at the small bump, rubbing it gently. “He’ll be home soon Bunny, don’t worry.” Our baby moves again, and I chuckle softly. My phone chimes and I look down to see that Bucky’s texted me:

Baby:

I should be home in an hour, don’t worry about making anything. I’m picking up some dinner.

I grin and shift so that I could message back:

Me:

I love you, thank you.

Baby:

Of course. I love you too.

I sigh contently and put the phone to the side knowing that he’s going to need to concentrate. I snuggled further into the sweater I stole and relax into the bed. 

***

I awaken to the sound of the doorknob jiggling, I blink away the sleep and sit up wincing at the soreness of sleeping in the wrong position. I don’t move, knowing that he can get the door open himself. 

But, he wasn’t getting it open. I pause unsure, Bucky isn’t one to lose his keys and he knows where the hidden one is. I hear a thump and jump up on my knees, peering wide-eyed down the hall and at the door. My bed was perfectly lined up with our open bedroom door, I could see the door perfectly. There was another thump and I jump up from the bed, shutting the door and locking it. I pull my chair from the vanity up and underneath the doorknob and back away from it. 

I hold a protective hand on my belly instinctly and hurry over to my phone, I check the time seeing that I’ve only been asleep for thirty minutes. I swallow down roughly and speed dial Bucky, he answers on the second ring. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s trying to break in,” I spoke rushed, my words almost blending together. 

“I have a gun in between the mattress on my side, it should be right there.”

Hurriedly I walk around the bed to his side and bend down, running my hands between the mattress. My breathing picks up when my fingers graze the cool metal. I hear another loud thump and then a bang, the crack of the door bursting open. 

“Bucky!” I whisper into the phone tearfully. 

“Don’t worry Baby, I’m on my way.”

I could hear his car revving as he drove and the siren blaring. I put the phone down on the bed and check if the gun is loaded before taking it off safety. I hold it like Bucky taught me and wait anxiously by the bed, trying to keep my breathing calm. 

“Knock, Knock.” The man says mockingly. I can hear his footsteps closing in and I shuffle nervously my grip tightening. He bangs on the bedroom door and I yelp backing away further. 

He laughs, “Hello, pretty." 

"I have a gun, and my husband is on his way. He’s a cop!”

I hear him snarl, “I know who and what he is. That asshole is the one who got my brother locked up.”

He throws himself into the door again and the chair scrapes against the floor, I hold the gun up ready to aim. He does so again and grunts, there was a crack in the door now and he peeks his face in it. My eyes widen upon recognition, it was one of the Lacing brothers. He looks sick, pale and white with dark purple shadows under his eyes. 

I clench my jaw and point it at him, ready to press the trigger. “I don’t think you’ll do it.” I falter, “W-What?” I don’t let my aim fall and keep the gun trained on him. His eyes studied me and made me uneasy, “You’re not going to." 

"I will if I have to,” I snap.

“You couldn’t handle killing someone, that’s what you’d do. Kill me.” He says this all matter of factly while he continues trying to ease himself into my room. 

“Don’t,” I say, “I will shoot.”

“You’re trying to buy time,” he sneers, “it isn’t going to work.”

I could hear Bucky yelling from my phone, “Shoot him, it’ll be okay, shoot him.” I don’t have time to buy, Bucky knows this; he wouldn’t be begging me otherwise. 

I take a deep breath, steadying the gun and pulling the trigger before I could doubt myself further. I see him flee back and hear him yell out, I don’t breathe. I wait listening, hearing him continue yelling and moaning. I could hear the sirens, still distant but there. 

I step forward hesitantly, before peeking out of creek only to scream when a hand reaches out to grab me. He pushes me back and forces the door open further, while I was stumbling he backhands me. I rush away from him and realize that I was still holding the gun, I go to shoot him but he had one too. He beats me to it, shooting me. I brace waiting for it to hit but only feel the wall next to me give in where the bullet hit. 

He growls and aims again, another shot. 

He freezes and then a confused expression makes its way onto his face, I watch with matched confusion. My eyes widen as crimson blood began seeping into his shit. The man groans and drops down to his knees, holding onto his side as he falls. Bucky stood behind him with a steel-faced expression and was breathing heavily; when his eyes meet mine he rushes past him and towards me.

“Are you okay, is the baby okay?”

I nod wide-eyed and stunned, not being able to speak anything. “Doll, I need you to say something. Talk to me." 

A weak whimper passes my lips and I jump into his arms, holding him tightly, "Bucky.”

He sighs, pressing his nose into the crook of my neck and picks me up, holding my thighs tightly. “Come on,” he whispers. I watch as we pass him, still bleeding on our bedroom floor, “What about him.”

“Steve’s here, he’ll get him.”

As promised, Steve walks past us and into the bedroom along with a few paramedics. Bucky sets me down on the couch and squats down in front of me, “Are you okay, are you hurt." 

I shake my head slowly, "No." 

"Is Bunny okay?” He asks slowly, scared for the answer.

“I think so,” I answer, “I don’t think it would hurt to go to the doctors and see though.” Bucky breathes out of his nose slowly and looks down at the floor, rubbing his face as he lets out a shuddery sigh. 

“I love you, Bucky,” I reach for a hand and hold it to my lips, kissing his knuckles. Bucky smiles weakly and leans forward, pressing his own lips to mine gently, “I love you too.” His hand weasels it’s way between us and presses against my stomach gently but firmly. 

“You’re my angel,” I whisper to him kissing his cheek, “My knight in shining armor.”

“I promise that as long as I live you will never get hurt." 


	10. Kiss Me Harder

**Bucky x Reader**

* * *

I huff when Bucky pulls away, once again the kiss had ended too soon. It left me desperate for something more, something that I know he’s capable of however refuses to do. 

“Bucky,” I whine. 

He hums and tears his gaze away from his phone. I crawl up onto his lap and straddle him, “ _Kiss me harder._ " 

He chuckles and it vibrates against me, I sigh and let my head fall onto his shoulders. ” _Please_ ,“ I beg softly. He sighs and leans forward, pressing a kiss to my lips and nips at my lip. I giggle against the kiss and lean forward, he wraps an arm around my waist and uses the other to grip my hip tightly. 

He rolls his hips against mine and I gasp, Bucky takes this as a chance to slip his tongue past my lips. I moan softly and his hand on my hip moves down to my ass and squeezing it.

"Bucky,” I groan, rutting my hip in response. 

He moans and pulls back to smirk at me. His pupils were blown and his lips swollen from the kiss, “Is that what you want?”

I grin weakly and nod, “That and more.”

“Do you want more then or are you satisfied?”

My eyes widen and I nod eagerly, “Yes please, I want more.”

“Go to the bedroom,” he says narrowing his eyes, “if you’re a good girl I’ll make sure you’re left more than satisfied.”


	11. Puppies, Puppies Everywhere

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

Bucky woke up with a nightmare, his shirt sticking to his back from the sweat. He tosses his feet over the side and buries his face in his hands, trying to be quiet. This wasn’t a nightmare from the past but a fear he has constantly. Y/n, sweet precious Y/n, dying in the most horrific way because he couldn’t save them. Their blood covering his hands as he tries stopping it, their breathing had stopped and their lips blue with the lack of oxygen. 

When Y/n wakes up, they crack their eyes open and see his shoulders shake softly as he tries stifling his sobs. They reach out in confusion, “Baby?”

Bucky jumps at the sudden sound of their voice and twists to look at them, wiping his face free of tears. “Hey,” he says in a croaky voice. Y/n sits up and wipes the sleep from their eyes, “What was it?”

Bucky pauses, looking down at his hands. Y/n stops wiping their eyes to stare at him, waiting. Finally, Bucky exhales and reaches forward. He pulls Y/n into his lap and pulls up their shirt exposing the scarred skin underneath. Y/n sighs, “I’m okay.” They kiss his cheek and pepper the side of his neck with more kisses, “I’m alright.”

“What if it happens again?” He asks softly. Bucky’s hands tangle into Y/n’s shirt as he holds them close to him, taking in their warmth and listening to their heart beating. He buries his face into their neck and takes in their scent, breathing deeply. 

Y/n runs their hands through his hair in a soothing manner, “It’s okay.”

He sniffles and nods, planting kisses on all the skin exposed to him. “I love you,” Y/n whispers, “Tell me what I can do to make you feel better.”

“Give me a box full of puppies and you in a bow and I’ll be good,” Bucky jokes. And while Y/n only chuckles, in their head an idea began to grow. “What kind of dogs do you like?”

Bucky only huffs in response and Y/n can feel his body start to relax, “Let’s lie back down.” They fall back down onto the pillows and Bucky pulls Y/n close, holding them against his chest.

* * *

The day did not get any better for Bucky then, he had training duty for a new bunch of soldiers who were arrogant and rude. Y/n watched from the sidelines, eyeing them all wearily. Bucky was trying to get them into a decent line to start some P.T but they hardly paid him any attention and spoke over him. 

Y/n could see it from where they stood that he was about to lose his cool. Walking over, Y/n ignored all the boys and girls eyeing them and stands in front of Bucky with crossed arms. 

They stand up on their tiptoes and whispers into his ear, “Bucky you are a sergeant, not only that but you are a winter soldier. Please remind them of that.” He looks down at Y/n with a tight smile and then looks over their head at all the soldiers who had stopped their shenanigans to watch the interaction. Y/n nods at him and stand back, watching with crossed arms. 

Bucky takes advantage of the silence and puts on his meanest, deadliest look for them. “Soldiers!” They all tense and stare at him wide-eyed. “When I say get into formation, you get into formation. So do it!” They all scurry into position. 

“Since you have taken so much time out of my day to do that simple task we will be doubling our P.T training." 

All of their faces pale and they respond, "Yes, Sir!”

“Fifteen laps, starting now. Let’s go.”

Y/n watches with a grin and Bucky mouths a small ‘thank you’ over to them as he passes them. They blow him a kiss and walk back over to where they were working at the time. Which happened to be mechanics with Sam and Tony. Sam tinkering with his wings and Tony with everything else. 

“I think each one peed a little when he yelled,” Tony smirks at Y/n. 

**Y/N POV**

I scoff and shake my head, “Yeah?” I take my seat across from him and start cleaning parts. “Of course,” Sam grins, “I thought he was going to kill all of them but then you stepped in." 

"I should have let him do what he wanted,” I say smiling, “he wanted to beat at least one to the pulp.”

“He’s been a little off all day,” Steve pops up next to you, “Do you know why?”

Sighing I shake my head, “He didn’t have a good night for starters, then some rude man recognized him and called him and I quote 'a no good freak of a man who doesn’t belong here on this earth’.”

Sam winces and Steve huffs, “Dammit.”

“I think I have a solution though,” I chuckle, “It might be the best idea ever.”

“And what is that?” Tony questions with a raised brow. 

“I’m getting him a bunch of puppies.”

Sam turns and tilts his head in exaggeration, “Why?”

“'Cause last night he said he wanted a box of puppies and me with a bow to make him feel better.” There was a pause and I add, “He was joking of course but he knows better than that, I do everything to make him happy.”

“What are you going to do with the dogs after?” Steve asks sitting down next to me. 

“Well, my mom has been looking for one for a while so there’s one with a home. My brother has been looking for a service dog for his PTSD, and not like an already trained one but one he can have trained especially for him.” Steve nods and I continue, “I was thinking about getting you one.”

Steve holds his hand up stopping you, “Nu-uh.”

“They are so cute Steve, you are going to love them. I promise you, you are going to want one.”

“And where are you going to find these perfect puppies?”

“I already have,” I answer, “there was a litter and the owner was going to give them to the pound, I bought all of them on spot.”

Tony pauses, “Where are they now?”

“I have a puppy sitter at the place right now,” I answer with a smile. 

* * *

Bucky pins me up against the shower wall, peppering kisses along my neck. Laughing softly I push him away, “Someone could come in!" 

He grins and leans forward, kissing me fervently. I moan softly into the kiss and he almost wins before I remember that the puppy-sitter is going to be leaving soon. Groaning I push him away again and he pouts, furrowing his brows. "We have to go home. After, I promise.”

Bucky sighs and nods, “Fine.”

I lean up and kiss his jaw, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he mumbles.

“I’ll be waiting outside,” I tell him walking out. Steve was leaning against the wall outside making me jump. “Hey!” He frowns, “Normally you two take longer.”

I flush, “Uh, the sitter is leaving soon.”

He hums and nods his head, “Alright.”

* * *

“Why?” Bucky whines and crosses his arms. 

“Bucky, please!" 

He huffs and shuts his eyes, letting me lead him to our door. You pause before opening the door and say, "Cover your ears too.”

“What?”

“Just do it!”

He covers his ears and shuts his eyes tightly, satisfied I open the door and smile at the sitter. I give her the money and she leaves. Leading Bucky into the living room I sit him on the floor. The puppies were all happy and wagging their tails. I set them around him whilst holding the one I’m sure he’s going to want. Then I sit across from his and place the bow on top of my head before pulling his hands off his ears. “Okay,” I say, “Open them.”

Bucky’s eyes open slowly and he squints around the room suspiciously before they widen with surprise. I wait with a grin and when Bucky finally looks at me he snorts and then laughs, “Babe, I was _joking_.”

“I know! But don’t you feel better?”

He exhales and then chuckles, a grin growing on his face. “Here,” I say handing him the pup in my hands, “I saved the best pup for last.”

He looks at me confused before taking it in his hands, his eyes widen when he sees it. The little pup was Australian Shepherd with a missing leg. “Can it walk?” Bucky asks softly. 

“Of course,” I smile, “Set him down.”

Bucky does and his face brightens when he sees the pup catch up with the others no problem, keeping up with their pace. “Oh,” he smiles. 

“They’re ours,” I say, he glances up at me with a raised brow and I continue, “But I was planning on giving most of them away to family.”

“Who?” He asks picking up the pup and holding it to his chest.

“Well, every pup but the one you’re holding is going to a new home. Steve’s supposed to be over in like ten minutes, my mom is getting one. My brother is getting one.”

“The one who needs a service dog?”

I nod, “Mhm.”

“What’s Steve got to do with it?”

“He’s going home with one, just watch.”

Bucky grins and nods his head, the pup in his hands licks his chin and barks softly up at him. “Was he born like this?” Bucky asks.

I nod and smile. He brings the pup up to his face and it licks his nose making Bucky grin. “What are you going to name him?” He asks me. I shake my head, “That’s for you to decide, Bucky. He’s yours.”

“Ours,” he corrects before adding, “I’m just his favorite." 

There was a knock at the door and I give him a pointed look while grinning, I stand up and answer the door. Steve was smiling on the other side of the door, "Hey.”

I step back so he could come in, “They’re in the living room.”

He nods and walks over. Chuckling at the sight of his best friend he sits down. Bucky makes sure to say, “This one is mine, you can’t have this one.”

Steve grins, “Alright.”

One of the pups run up to Steve and crawls up his lap. “That one’s a girl,” I say remembering her from the others because of her eyes. One was a different color than the other. 

He picks her up and she barks, licking his fingers. Steve sighs, “I shouldn’t have come.” Laughing I sit down on the couch and watch the boys play with the pups. 

* * *

Steve had left, leaving his pup only because he didn’t have her stuff yet, making sure to complain the entire time about how it’s our fault. The pups were in our living room, Bucky and I set up an entire area so that they could run around but still be caged up. Luckily for the both of us, they were trained to pee on a puppy pad so we laid out plenty of those.

Long after we’d gone to bed I wake up to the bed dipping slightly and Bucky shushing quietly. I had almost fallen back asleep when I hear something bark quietly and whine.

Inhaling I turn my head to look at him, “Babe.”

“But, Y/n,” he whines.

“Put him back,” I say with a sigh, “he can’t sleep with us, he’ll get squished.”

“I’ll be careful!”

I try a different approach, “Tomorrow is going to be the last day that he’ll be with his brothers and sisters before they go to their new homes. I’m sure he’ll want one last night.”

Bucky huffs and gets back up, all the while grumbling underneath his breath. When he comes back in he was still pouting and grumbling. Bucky crawls underneath the covers and lies on his back with his arms crossed. 

I watch for a moment as he stares up at the ceiling with an upset expression. “Buck.” He turns his head away from me and it makes me snort out a laugh. I sit up and scoot closer next to him, “Hey, I know you’ve had a bad day but…did I make it better?”

He pauses and blinks before turning his head to look at me. I smile softly and he returns it, his eyes softening. “Yeah,” he smiles, “you did.”

“You know,” I say leaning over him and kissing his cheek, “I did make a promise earlier.”

His hand runs up my thigh and stops at my butt, grabbing it and squeezing it tightly. “Yeah, you did." 


	12. Old Memories pt. 1

******Pairings: Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Reader**

* * *

**Year: 1948**

“Hello, Y/n.”

I look up at the woman that stood in front of me. She was the definition of prim with her hair brushed neatly and smoothly into a bun. Her clothes were pristine and without a single wrinkle anywhere to be seen. Her hands were held clasped tightly in front of her and her smile was tight and forced.

My Mother pushes me and I blink, “Hello, Madame.”

The mother rests her hand on my shoulder and pushes me forward towards her, “Go on, Y/n.” I turn to look up at her before glancing back over to Madame B. Mother nods and pushes me again. I look back at Madame who holds her hand out for me to take. I reach for it hesitantly and once in her reach she grabs it and pulls me over to her. Madame twists me around and holds me against her body, her arms caging me as she does.

Madame looks at Mother with a pleased smile, Mother frowns as she looks at me before looking back to meet her gaze. Madame sighs softly and runs a hand on my arm, “So young, the youngest I’ve ever gotten.”

Mother’s gaze drops down to me as she nods, “We were going to wait until she turned five but plans changed. I hope you don’t mind her being three.”

“I suppose that we’ll make it work.”

The corner of Mothe’s mouth quirks up slightly, “Goodbye, Y/n, Behave.”

I nod even though I was still slightly confused as to what’s going on. Madame’s hand moves up to rest on my shoulder and she squeezes tightly. “Come Y/n, let’s go meet the other girls.

"Yes, Madame.”

She leads me away from my mother and into the facility. We walk through until we reach a door, she opens it and walks me in. There were beds all lined up with girls in the room all just as orderly as Madame B. was.

“Girls, I’d like you to meet our newest member. Say hello to Y/n.”

“Hello, Y/n,” they all say unanimously.

I nod shyly, “Hello.”

Madame pulls me along and to a bed with a bare mattress with nothing but a bare pillow on it. Underneath was a box that she takes out and hands it to me. “Have one of the girls help you.” She turns and walks to the door, stopping just by the door to turn and scan the room. Her eyes were that of a wolf ready to kill. Then she was gone and the door shut behind her.

I swallow as I see the girls all staring at me, some confused and some looked upset. But there was one girl who popped out from the others, she wasn’t smiling but she seemed interested in me more than the rest.

Our eyes meet and she smiles softly before walking up to me, “My name’s Natalia.” She points down to the box in my hands, “Do you want help?” I look down and nod, “Yes, please.”

Nodding Natalia takes it from me and sets it down on the floor, crouching down to pull the things inside of it out. She pulls the sheets out first and shows me how to lay them down, “Madame expects everything to be in order, alright?” I nod as I try helping, “Alright.” When we put on the blanket she shows me carefully how to fold it when we get up in the morning, “It goes like this.”

Then she takes the pillow and puts on the pillow cover, laying it down gently and making it sit on the bed perfectly. “There,” she bends over and pulls one more thing out of the box before kicking it underneath the bed, “this is the last piece.” I frown at the metal in her hand, “What is it?”

“They’re cuffs.”

“What are they for.”

She sighs and clicks one end to the metal bar on the bedpost and lays the other end open. “It’s to make sure we don’t run away at night.”

“Why would we run away?” I ask dubiously.

Natalia shakes her head, “It get’s undone in the morning by one our instructors.” Pursing my lips I nod slowly, she nods back and turns. As she walks back to where she came from I shuffled nervously in my spot and look around. Some of the girls were staring and I felt like a fish in an ocean full of sharks.

***

Moments later the door was opened and in step multiple guards as well as Madame B. Her eyes locked on me and slowly she approached me. While she walked I noticed one guard who trailed behind her. I tried not to stare but I couldn’t help but do so. He has a metal arm that hung stiffly at his side, seemingly prepared for anything. He sees and narrows his eyes at me. I dart mine down and clasp my hands tightly behind my back.

“Y/n.”

I peek up, “Yes, Madame?”

“Come with me, we start your training today. Since you are so much younger and so much further behind the other girls we will have to restart with you.”

I nod, “Yes, Ma'am.” She gestures for me to follow as she turns on her heel and I do so, the man with the metal arm follows closely behind. He grabs my arm with his normal one and pulls me along with him as he and Madame B. walk out. Before we leave entirely Madame turns to look at the rest of the girls and guards still in the room, “Make sure they complete their lessons.”

They nod in response and then I was taken away. Led into a large room that had mirrors and a bar that lined up along it. Inside the room, a woman was waiting, standing with her back straight and her arms crossed. Her eyes fall down to me and the man gives me to her.

“Get her out of those clothes and into some proper ones for training,” Madame orders.

“What do you want me to start her on?” The woman asks.

“Start with ballet, make sure that she learns _something_ by the end of it,” she answers. The woman nods and grabs me, once again someone was pulling me along with them. The man leaves with Madame B. and my clothes were taken off and replaced by new ones.

“We will stretch and begin, understand?”

“Yes, ma'am,” I say looking up at her.


	13. Old Memories pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been discontinued

**Pairings: Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Reader**

* * *

Later that night, I could barely make it back to my bed. My entire being ached as I put on the nightgown that was given to me. When I had finally been able to collapse into the bed one of the instructors that I met earlier in the day come to my bed and locked my hand up an in the cuffs, just as Natalia had said they would.

Madame B. came to visit one last time, hovering over my bed with a sharp smile. She kneels down in front of me, “I want you to understand something, so listen carefully. Are you listening?” I nod slowly, watching her with widened eyes. “Little Y/n, this is the easiest that it will ever be for you. That is the nicest the instructors and I and the guards will ever be. If you are weak you will _not_ last here, so be sure to not be.

I swallow, looking into her eyes, “Yes, Madame.”

***

**Year: 1953**

“Y/n, I need you to go with the Winter Soldier on a mission.”

I switch my gaze from her to the man standing next to her, he held a steady gaze as he stared at me. I look back to her, Madame B. is not and never will ask. Swallowing, I nod, “Yes, ma'am. What would you like for me to do?”

She hands me a piece of folded paper that she had been holding, “We need to collect information, while he is working on the assassination I need you to find the office and collect all the information listed on that piece of paper.” I look down to piece of paper, silently reading all the names and list of things that she wanted me to get.

I look back up at her, “It’ll be done.”

Madame smirks down at me, “I know. If it doesn’t you won’t be coming back.”

Ice cold horror flood my veins and I fight internally to keep my composure. As I do so Madame turns to face the Winter Soldier, “Kill her if she doesn’t get it done. I expect you two to return in two days time and no longer.” He nods and looks down at me. My stomach drops at the coldness in his eyes and I exhale softly as I return his gaze but keeping my face blank so he can’t see my fear. It was only when Madame B. addresses me again that I turn to look at her again.

“Alora, go with him.”

I shuffle over closer to him and he starts walking, he turns on his heel and starts walking away in long strides. My short legs struggle to keep up with him but try my best.

***

Of course, the Winter Soldier had us hidden a couple of miles away from the mansion seeing as this _is_ private property and the noise of the motorcycle would raise some suspicions.

I struggle down off of the bike and land on the ground with a grunt. He looks down at me, “Do you know what to do?” Nodding, I answer, “Get all of the information.” I hand him the paper that Madame had given to me like he instructed once I had it memorized.

“And don’t miss anything,” he says glaring down at me, “I don’t want to have to kill you.” I pause, nodding slowly.

“I know a way for you to get in,” he tells me grabbing my arm. I gasp as he yanks on my arm, pulling me with him over to where some trees stood and push me down. “The wife is famous for taking in kids in need,” he kneels down in front of me and scoops up some dirt and mud into his hands, “act like a child who got lost and hurt in the woods and I’m sure that she’ll take you in.”

He rubs the dirt all over my cheeks and clothes, as well as tearing them. He pulls my hair from their neat braid and runs his dirty hands through it. Ruffling my hair as a finishing touch he stands up and I glare up at him as he does, “We’re miles away, why couldn’t we have waited to do it till then?”

He smirks and narrows his eyes, “Because I’m not finished.”

He turns and breaks into a jog, I roll my eyes and stand up. Pulling my lip up into a snarl I start running so that I could keep up or at least follow him.

By the time we finally reach the edge of the woods and were close enough to the mansion I was drenched in sweat and was even more of a mess than before. The Winter Soldier had made sure that I tripped a few times so now I was covered in scrapes and scratches. I glare up at him and he returns and even more menacing one.

He points, “Go.”

I huff and tiredly run up to the door and knock on it. It took a moment for what appeared to be a servant to answer the door. I look up at him teary-eyed, “Please help me.” Their eyes widen and they turn to look over their shoulder, “Madam!” I hear a woman sigh and her heels click against the floor as she approaches us, “What is it, Jeffery?” She gasps at the sight of me, a tiny eight-year-old child who was covered in filth and bleeding. She rushes forward and takes me by my hand pulling me in, “Please come in, child.”

A man in a suit walks in as he lights his pipe, “Who is it?”

I was pushed in front of the woman in a way of display, “A child.”

He looks down at me with eyes that studied me, kneeling down in front of me with suspicion clear in his features, “How did you get here?”

I turn to point in the direction of the woods, “I got lost.”

The woman kneels down too, “For how long?”

I furrow my brows feigning confusion, “I’m not sure, only a few days I think.”

“Well,” she stands, “let’s get you cleaned up and in some new clothes. I’m sure we’ll have some that’ll fit you, we have clothes from a girl who used to stay here.” I keep silent and let her lead me along with her. While we walked I look around, making sure to take notice as the husband leaves and walks into what I suspect to be his office. Tearing my eyes off the door as it shuts I look up at the woman who looks down at me at the same time, I smile innocently up at her. Giggling, she smiles back.

If I were normal, I’d feel guilty knowing that even though only the man was the Winter Soldier’s mission she’d probably be getting killed too. But there was something about her that left me feeling as if I couldn’t really trust her.

We walk into a clean room that had a child’s bed in the center. She leaves me by the door and walks over to the closet, pulling out a girls dress that was pink in color. While her back was turned I scrunch my nose in distaste. She walks over to a dresser and pulls out some frilly white socks, underwear, and polished shoes.

Folding the clothes neatly in one arm and then placing the shoes on top of the pule she walks back over and grabs my hand again. She takes me to a bathroom and I look around in awe at the largeness and cleanliness of it. She chuckles at the sight of my awe and pulls me over to the tub, “Let’s get you clean.” I squirm uncomfortably as she goes to help me with my clothes and she notices. Pausing she stands back and hums, “Do you think that you would be okay if I left you alone?”

I nod quickly, opting to stay quiet to maintain the appearance of a traumatized child. She nods back and smiles, “Alright, let me draw the bath and then I’ll leave you alone. Take all the time that you need and when you’re done come find me. It’s about time for me to make dinner so come find me in the kitchen after you’re finished.”

I nod again and wait patiently as she does as promised, once the water was running and I knew how to turn off the knobs, an easy task that she didn’t need to explain but does so carefully and slowly, she leaves. She locks the door as she does.

Once I was alone I exhale and then jump on the toilet’s lid, opening the window. I see that it’s facing where I had come from and scan the tree line for any signs of the Winter Soldier. It’s not surprising that when I do I don’t see anything. Stepping down I leave the window cracked and walk back over to the tub.

I don’t necessarily _have_ to take this bath, I could just sneak around but I’m going to. I’m filthy and uncomfortable and this is kind of like a stab back at _him_ because I know that it’d aggravate him. I strip out of the ruined clothes and step into the bath, quickly washing my skin and hair then getting out. I towel myself off, finally, I reach the clothes that she had left and glare down at them and all their frillyness. I struggle to get it all on but manage, once I was dressed I run my fingers through my tangled hair in an attempt to tame it. Finished, I sigh in relief and unlock the door peeking out and jumping when I was met with none other than Jeffery who gave me a tight-lipped smile, “I’ve come for your dirty clothes.” I nod and step back, grabbing the pile and handing them out to him. He looks pained as he takes it and I fight a smile, watching as he walks out holding the clothes out at an arm’s length.

I peek back out and say after him, “I’ll be a moment, I’m still not finished.” I hear him grumble as he turns the corner and disappears out of my line of sight. Snickering quietly to myself I step out and make sure that the door is locked behind me before I walk silently towards where I saw the office.

Once I reach the door, I glance around to make sure I was still alone before pressing my ear against the door. I frown when I hear muffled sounds, almost like grunting. I test the doorknob and grin when it twists. Cracking it open, I peek in and was greeted with the sight of the Winter Soldier choking out the man of the house.

I quickly step in and shut the door behind me. The man’s eyes widen as he sees me and he gestures wildly for me to step in. I look him up and down as I walk up to him, tilting my head as our eyes meet. I see the Winter Soldier loosen his grip and the man takes in some desperate breaths of air, “Help me,” he chokes out. I smile up at him and walk around the desk, standing to the side of his. His eyes follow me as I move and widen when I open is desk drawers, digging through them.

His lip pulls back and tries to growl but the Winter Soldier’s grip tightens again and he stops getting any air. I frown when there was nothing in the drawer, picking up the papers as I read through them I put them in a pile on top of the desk.

I glance up at the man who was turning purple and glare before looking back down and pulling all of the drawers open and searching through them.I feel his legs buckle beside me and look up to see him close to passing out. I purse my lips and look down around me, still unable to see anything that I needed.

I hear a sickening crack and then the man collapses next to me. Winter Soldier grabs the body but it’s shoulders and drags it over to the wall, leaning him up against it. I scrunch my nose at the way his head flops down against his chest before turning back to face the desk, narrowing my eyes in aggravation. I look inside the now empty drawers and run my hands along the sides, eyes widening and a grin grows on my face when my finger catches onto a hidden compartment.

I pull it open and grin up at Winter Soldier, “Aha.”

Placing the board off to the side with the rest of things I had pulled out my grin widens even further at the sight of folders and papers stamped _top secret._ I go through them all, carefully to make sure I don’t see too much and sigh in relief when I find all that I was instructed to. I look through the other drawers to find more hidden compartments and smile when I find more things.

I look up at him, “I have everything.” I wave the folders and papers in the air and he nods. “Put the rest back, it’ll take them longer to think we wanted information. They might just assume that it’s an assassination.”

I let my shoulders fall but don’t protest, pinning the folders beneath my arm I carefully place everything back the way I had found it. Just as I close the last drawer there was a knock on the door, both of our heads snap towards the door and our bodies still. “Charles? Have you seen the little girl? That bathroom was empty and the window cracked.” Winter Soldier moves into action quickly, pushing me down and underneath the desk and glares down at me. He presses his finger to his lip and clenches his jaw as he looks back up at the door.

“Charles?”

I watch as the Winter Soldier starts walking, his boots moving to the left and out of my sight. I focus on keeping myself calm and making sure that I kept my mission intact. The door slowly creaks open and my eyes dart over to the slumped body of ‘Charles’.

She gasps and the heels of her shoes click loudly as she hurries over to him. She whimpers as she holds her face, her own complexion matching his paleness. She was too busy focusing on her already dead husband to realize that there was still a threat in the room.

He creeps silently towards her as she weeps, trying to pull his head up but it only falls back down. It was humorous to watch in some ways, the way his head flopped vaguely reminded me of a doll that I used to play with. He moves slowly and stands behind her, it was only when his shadow covers her that she realizes she isn’t alone. She twists around sharply and opens her mouth to scream but Winter Soldier growls and grabs her by the throat with his metal hand. Whatever scream she had built up dies in her throat as she gags for air.

She grabs his arm and hand, pulling and scratching at it weakly. I thought he was going to kill her with ease but was shocked to see that the servant, Jeffery, had managed to walk into the room with just as much silence as the Winter Soldier. He jumps up and onto his back and pulls him back where they both crash into the desk. I jump startled and watch as at the same time the woman uses the short moment of distraction to attack. Snatching the knife from his belt and lunging at him. He catches her by the wrist and snarls at her as he does.

I watch wide-eyed and conflicted, do I listen to his orders or do I do something? I decide to crawl out from my hiding spot, the woman growls down at me as she sees me and tries kicking at me but I block it like I was taught. I grab it in the process and yank her down, she loses her balance and falls but the Winter Soldier keeps a tight grip on her wrist. I hurriedly stand up and grab the knife from her hand, grabbing her by her hair and holding it to her neck. I look up at Jeffery and spit out at him, “Let him go.”

His eyes stare at me, unwavering as he refuses. My demand didn’t need to be listened to, Winter Soldier could now easily handle him and was having no problem. I recognize now that this was a test. Jeffery snarls at me, “You little piece of shit.”

I narrow my eyes and press the knife to her neck, pausing to look up at the Winter Soldier who grins and nods. I nod back and look down at her, she was staring at me with wild eyes as she tries twisting away from me.

I press my lips together and then press the blade into her neck, watching as the blood seeps out quickly. I take this as a lesson, making sure to pay attention to every detail. She chokes and the action makes blood come out of her mouth, coloring her lips in a deep set red. My nose flares at the sudden smell of copper and I let her head drop, she holds her hand against her throat to try and stop the bleeding but there was no point. She’s going to die.

Winter Soldier drops her wrist and reaches for the arm around his wrist; he twists it into a painful position making it crack. Jeffery groans painfully and Winter Soldier takes this as a chance. He twists around and grabs the servant before throwing him over my head and into the wall. He stalks over to the man laying on the ground and grabs him roughly by the shoulder. Pulling his metal arm back and tightening it into a fist he relentlessly beats into his face. I blink as I watch, his face becomes bloodied and you could see where his skull was broken. Winter Soldier pulls his arm back again and lands one more strong blow to the face.

Standing up he turns to face me, wiping his hands on his pants. “Where are the papers?” I tear my gaze from the brutally beaten man to look up at him. He repeats the question, “Where are the papers, Y/n.”

“I didn’t know you knew my name,” I say in shock.

He sighs in aggravation and glares down at me, “The papers. Your mission.”

I blink again and then it clicks as to what he’s referring to. I turn to squat down, grabbing the folders and papers that I had left beneath the desk. I stand back up and hold them up for him to see and he nods, “Let’s go then.”

I follow as he walks out and onto the balcony to where I assume he came from. As I pass the doors I catch my reflection in the mirror of the balcony’s door. I looked crazy, a small child dressed in a pink dress and frilly socks and covered in blood. I rub at some of the droplets on my cheek and scrunch my face when it only smudges it.

“Y/n,” he growls. 

I snap my head over to where he was standing, waiting impatiently. I swallow nervously at his glare and rush over to him. The Winter Soldier takes the papers from my and then steps over the balconies railings. I watched wide-eyed as he moves to drop, hurrying to the railing to look over and see him fall the long distance, landing with a grunt and nothing more.

“Are you crazy?” I hiss at him. He doesn’t look up and instead sets the folders down underneath his boots. When he does look up he holds his arms out, I roll my eyes at the realization that he wants me to jump.

“You are,” I state looking down at him with a glower.

“Jump or I’m leaving for the police to find you. Covered in the blood of the people who took you in.”

I lower my eyes and then huff as I crawl over the railing, tossing my feet over and standing on the edge. He shakes his arms impatiently and I growl under my breath, “You better catch me.” Letting myself fall I gasp and then groan as I land in his arms, the metal one is sure to leave a bruise.

He lets me down and scans the area around us, I bend down with a hand pressed against my back as I grab the folders from underneath his boot. I tug it free and then brush the dirt off. “Come on,” he says grabbing my arm and pulling me back to the tree line.

Once we reach it he breaks into another jog and I follow in a run. We run for a while until we reach the bike again. Before hopping on, he reaches and grabs a bag that had been tied onto the back and hands it to me. “Put the folders in.” I do so and he hooks it back up onto the bike and steps up and onto it. When he kickstarts it he looks up at me with a pointed look and I hop onto it.


	14. His Eyes pt. 1

Bucky, James, _mine._ He’s so precious to me, how I survived before the angel that he is fell into my life is astounding. He’s the feeling you get when you stand outside in the late winter air underneath the warming sun. How each breath is crisp and clean, you can’t get enough. The wind will send chills up your spine and make your eyes water, it’s so bittersweet. But the sky is a clear crystalline blue that you can’t look away from, no matter how cold you are.

Even when Bucky was trapped in his own mind, even when he didn’t recognize me, I couldn’t look away. Even when the threat of frostbite was inevitable from the Winter Soldier, I stayed to look at that blue sky in his eyes. 

“Bucky,” his name a whisper on my lips, “James.” Could he possibly remember me? The girl who danced to the music he played, how as his fingers danced across the keys while I danced on the stage. That was before the war where instead of a nurse outfit and bloodied hands I wore a tutu and lipstick. 

Prisoner of war, even when we’re no longer at war. Trapped in the memories of what used to be and will never be again. Steve would be so glad to know his best friend isn’t dead after all, how sad he’s not here for the news. The irony stings. There’s no Captain America to save me now, but quite frankly, if I am to die at the hands of this beautiful creature then why should I fight it. 

“You don’t remember me,” I say softly, “and that’s okay because I want you to know that we remember you. Always. Your sisters are fine, Steve’s finally free from the war.”

He doesn’t move, not towards me nor away. He seems stuck in thought, there’s a flicker of something in his eyes. Then it dies and the coldness returns. “You are my mission,” he says. 

“Okay,” I smile and nod my head once, “That’s okay." 

He closes the gap between us and uses his hand to trap me against him. He draws the knife from his belt and quickly plunges it into my stomach. An involuntary gasp escapes my lips but I bite down on it. He looks down at me, eyes flickering over my face as he watches. I smile weakly, "It’s okay, Buck. I love you.” I reach up and stroke his cheek, it’s no longer soft and was hidden underneath a layer of scruff. “I love you,” I repeat, my eyes were growing heavy and it was harder to hold my weight. My knees buckle but he catches me. 

At the last second, right before my eyes shut, Bucky seems to see something. His eyes widen as he looks down at me, his face pales and those precious eyes shine with tears. I keep my focus on them, wanting them to be the last thing that I see, his eyes. Before I fall asleep he whispers out in a broken voice, “Doll?”


	15. His Eyes pt. 2

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

_A test,_ the words force it’s way through my mind, _what better way to test his loyalty than to make him kill the only thing he finds worth living for. Rogers is gone, that leaves the nurse._

They’ve taken everything from me. All the information and memories, the secrets that I have stored in my brain are now an open book for them to read whenever they need it. 

Now she’s lying in my arms, my star, and she’s dying. Her light and warmth are fading. “Please,” I sob out, “please!” I could hear them approach slowly, the sound of the snow crunching beneath their shoes. I look up at them, “Please, please save her. Don’t let her die, I’ll do anything!”

“Would you let us have her?”

The question makes me freeze. I look down at her, so still and quiet. “No,” I croak out. A hand squeezes my shoulder, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“She could be with you, together forever. You know what you would have to do, her too.”

I shake my head again more firmly, she wouldn’t want this. “Then let her go.” The hand tightens, “Let her go, soldat.” My breathing quickens and my throat constricts but I do as told.

Slowly, I lower her down. I lie Y/n down carefully onto the snowy ground, her hair falls around her face. So beautiful and so perfect.

*******

Bucky stands up and turns to look at the man who controlled him. He breathes in deeply and straightens his shoulders. The man drops his eyes down to look at the dying girl at their feet, then back up at Bucky. He could see his cheeks still damp from crying and the tears that still threatened to spill. He saw how Bucky’s breathing was ragged. 

“Take him.”

Men walk up and grab Bucky by his arms, he doesn’t fight them and lets them take him away. But the man stays behind, he glances down at the woman once again and snaps his fingers. “Take her, make sure he doesn’t die. We’ll keep her in case he forgets who he belongs to.”


	16. Drunk Promises

**Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader**

* * *

Bucky doesn’t get drunk, not very often. Only because when Thor leaves he’s leaving with his Asgardian Mead. But when he does, oh boy. Oooh boy. Bucky goes from being the reserved quiet and stoic person he is to the slutty teen who loves to dance. When he gets really fucked, he texts. Not sweet things, he texts dirty stuff to _everyone_. But somehow, Y/n is his main target. 

**Winter Boo Bear:**

Y/n

**Winter Boo Bear:**

heyyy

**Winter Boo Bear:**

you know you should come over and let me show you how my arms new features

Y/n rolls her eyes but grins as she looks down at her phone. It chimes again:

**Winter Boo Bear:**

orr instad I can show you what this trick that I learned during the war

She scoffs and looks up scanning the family room for signs of the metal man. Her eyes land on him all the way across the room, he was laying lazily across the counter. Resting on his metal arm and holding his phone in that hand. Bucky sees Y/n staring and grins before poking his tongue out and wiggling it. 

Y/n’s face flares and she looks down at her feet before glancing back up. Bucky’s head was looking down at his phone and trying to text, his head was falling back and his arms were kind of crunched because of how he was leaning. Y/n’s phone chimes:

Winter Boo Bear:

I can do hole bucjh of trickss comee find out

At least today the dirty flirting wasn’t as bad. Y/n clicks her tongue and finally moves to reply:

 _Me_ :

Ask me again when you’re sober

She watches as Bucky reads the message and then pouts. He looks up and scrunched his nose at her. Y/n grins and shrugs her shoulder before mouthing, ’ _ask me tomorrow_ ’. He sighs and squints at her before losing his mobility skills and slipping down. Y/n lets out a short-burst laughter before covering her mouth and trying to peer over the other people and see him. 

He pulls himself up and wobbles in one spot before reaching forward to grab his mug of mead. “Someone needs to stop him,” Nat says. Y/n jumps before relaxing and nodding, “Yeah.”

They make no movement to do it. “Someone’ll do it,” Y/n grin. Bucky shouts across the room, holding his mug up, “THor!! I neeed morrrrrre.”

“This is going to be a long night for Steve and my phone, hopefully, his dies before the end of it,” she murmurs, smiling at Natasha. 

***

**Winter Boo Bear:**

I thinkk I have a goot beithday gift

**Winter Boo Bear:**

_when’s your birthday?_

_Me_ : 

It’s a ways away, why?

**Winter Boo Bear:**

becays the birthday gist is amaxing

_Me:_

Does it involve you?

**Winter Boo Bear:  
**

_yes_

_Me:_

how so

Winter Boo Bear: 

we can have so much fin Y/n, so so much fun. Forget about the stuff you’d do during the day, all I need is the ngith

Y/n scoffs and shakes her head:

_Me:_

Goodnight

***

Y/n slides up onto the bar stool easily and thanks Steve who hands her a glass of juice. “How’s Bucky?” She asks leaning against the counter. Steve chuckles, “He’s a mess, I wouldn’t expect him up any time soon.”

“Do you need a jogging buddy?”

Steve laughs, “No offense, doll. But I don’t think we’d be able to run together, you hate it.”

She shrugs and grins at him before taking a sip of her drink. When she sets it down Y/n smiles and says, “That’s fair, I think I’ll stick around here and help out then.” Steve nods and chuckles before passing her and heading towards the door, “Alright.”

Y/n stays in the kitchen and makes herself some breakfast. While she chewed on her cereal Bucky trudges into the kitchen slowly, his eyes were practically sealed shut. 

“Hi, Bucky,” she grins as she watches. He jumps and cracks his eyes open a bit wider to see her. “Hi,” his voice was deep and gravelly, Bucky clearly was not ready to be out of bed. “What are you doing?” Y/n asks with a smile. 

“I…” he pauses, looking around the kitchen, “don’t know.”

“Are you hungry?” Y/n pushes the cereal towards him but he turns his nose up to them. Bucky scrunches his nose, “No.”

“Do you want some juice,” Y/n smiles amused, she pushes her half drunken drink towards him. This he takes and sips off of. “Thank you,” he murmurs. 

“ _What’s the last text you sent_?” Y/n grins, already knowing the answer but knowing that he probably doesn’t remember. Bucky’s brows furrow and he digs through his pockets to find his phone. There was a moment of silence as Bucky pulls it out, unlocks it, and finds his messages. As Y/n watches his face she couldn’t help but feel pure joy at the horror that grew. He became very flustered and his cheeks brightened. 

“S-Sorry,” He stutters shoving it back into his pocket and turning on his heel to rush away. 

“Wait!” Y/n calls after him. Bucky gives her a pained look as he waits. “My birthday, it’s (Your Birthday Date). I hope you’ll keep that promise, I’m very interested in those skills you bragged about.” Bucky lets out a high pitched almost hysterical laugh before nodding and bolting away. 

Y/n snickers in her seat and shoves another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. 

***

_Months Later, Y/n’s Birthday_

***  
Strangely enough, even though Bucky usually drank at these type of events, he hasn’t touched any liquor. Y/n walks over to where he stood in the living room. “I haven’t gotten a single text from you, what gives?”

Bucky laughs lightly, “I’ve been avoiding Thor for that very reason. I want to be sober today.”

“Is my birthday that special,” Y/n teases playfully. 

He laughs again before leaning down and whispering into her ear, “It can be if you’re still up to see some of my tricks." 


	17. Bucky Prompt

**Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader**

* * *

I grumble under my breath as I’m forced to stand up from my bed, the sound of someone knocking on my door wasn’t getting any quieter. I huff and grab a pair of discarded sweats that were on my floor and tug them on. 

Trudging to the door I put on my best glare and open the door with a growl, “What?” I step back in shock, Bucky Barnes was at my door. And he was soaking wet. 

He inhales deeply before quickly speaking, “ _I know it’s three in the morning, but I can’t find my cat_.”

My brows draw together as I step back again to let him in, “You’re…cat?”

“Yeah, Grumpsalot.”

I quirk my brow at the name before snorting, “That’s fitting.”

“He’s an ass but he’s my ass, can you help me find him?” Bucky pauses and glances down, looking me up and down. He points at me and tilts my head, “ _Is that my shirt?_ ”

I look down and tug at the bottom of it, “Uh, maybe?” I look up to smile at him sheepishly and laugh nervously. He continues giving me a confused look before he shakes his head, “Nevermind, can you help?”

I sigh and nod, “Of course, let me get my shoes on.”

“And a jacket,” he adds, “it’s cold.”

I nod and do so, pulling a hoodie on and offering him one of the ones he’s left at my apartment. Then, I slip on my shoes and he leads us outside. “What does he look like?” I scrunch my nose at the rain that was drizzling down on us and pull up the hood of my coat. 

Bucky hums before answering, “Dark grey fur with blue eyes, fluffy everywhere. A little shit.”

I laugh softly while checking underneath a bench and clicking my tongue, “It sounds like you two get along well.” He sighs and scratches his chin, “I mean, we do, he’s just as much of an ass as I am.”

“A perfect fit.”

I hear a soft meow and turn my head to follow it down an alley. Bucky does the same and we both make noises and call for him to come. “Here kitty, kitty.”

A cat fitting Grumpsalot’s description trots out and rubs against my legs. “Hello,” I coo and pick it up. It didn’t look like an alley cat, it had a collar too. I take him to Bucky and hold him up, “Is this your cat?” Bucky grins and checks the collar nodding, “This is him.” I smile widely and hold Grumpsalot up to my face, he mews and bumps his head against mine. 

“He doesn’t seem like an ass.”

Bucky scoffs, “Yeah, well he is.”

I chuckle and hand his cat to Bucky. By this time we were both wet from the rain and Bucky’s cat was worse. I pull a loose strand of hair back behind my ear, “Do you want to come back? My place is closer.”

He hesitates before nodding, “Sure.”

We walk back to the apartment. “I’m sure you’re tired,” Bucky says while setting his cat down, “I’m sorry I got you up.”

I wave off his apology and smile at him, “Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind.” I smile at Bucky softly and then I actually see his state, Bucky had been wet before and now he was drenched. I pause before pursing my lips, “I’m sure I have more of your clothes that I’ve stolen.”

Bucky grin, “So you admit it.”

“Shamelessly,” I grin at him while walking away. “Give me a sec and I’ll find you something to wear.” Bucky nods and stands in his spot, petting a sleepy Grumpsalot and holding him closely. I hum as I dig through my closet to find some of Bucky’s clothing. I find a t-shirt and his gym shorts. 

“Here,” I say tossing Bucky him his clothes. 

“Thank you, I’ll be right back.”

I hum in response and watch as he walks into the bathroom before I walk into the kitchen and grab a bowl and some tuna. “Here,” I say softly setting the bowl down on the floor. Grumpsalot hurries over and starts mowing down. I make him a bowl of water too before heading into my bedroom to change. I find another one of his shirts and some shorts and put them on. 

When I go back into the living room I find Bucky sitting on my couch, leaning his against the back of it. His eyes were shut and his face almost relaxed, cat on his lap. I chuckle softly and run my hands through his hair gently, “Are you tired?”

He hums in response and seems to relax even further. “Well,” I hum leaning forward, “I’m not going to let you sleep on this shitty couch, come on.”

I pull him up and Grumpsalot jumps from his lap. I pull Bucky along back into my bedroom and the cat follows us. I help Bucky plop onto the bed and sit next to him, pulling the blankets over us. Grumpsalot jumps up onto the bed and curls up between our legs. 

“Thank you again,” Bucky mumbles.

“It’s no problem,” I respond softly, “don’t worry about it. Go to sleep, Bucky.”

“‘kay, night.”

“Night.”


	18. "Why are you wearing my clothes?"

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

Y/n came home one night to her door unlocked and big soggy footprints leading back into her room. Cautiously she follows them until she reaches her door and slowly turns the knob, taser in hand, and swings it open. She presses the button and holds it out but then immediately drops it and exclaims, “Bucky!”

He looks up from her bed, lowering the book in his hands and raising a brow, “Yes?”

“Wha-,” Y/n stops when she recognizes an oversized crop top that he was wearing. She frowns squints and points at his chest, “Is that… my shirt?” Bucky grins and stands up and Y/n groans shutting her eyes for a moment before peeking at him then groaning again, “Wh… Why are you wearing my clothes?”

Bucky looks down and shrugs, “Mines dirty and covered in some blood.”

She covers her mouth to stifle a laugh and looks him up and down, “Bucky…” he wore a crop top, it looked like it fit, he looked like he was from the 90’s waist up but then waist down… He was wearing my gym shorts but his think thighs filled them up easily and Y/n wasn’t quite sure how he’d managed to pull them on. 

“Buck,” she sighs and shakes her head again, “Bucky why not something else?”

He grins, “I look cute and you know it, just look at my butt.” Bucky turns to the side and twists his hips so that Y/n could see the full dimension of his ass. She presses her lips together and nods, “I’ll give you that one then.”

He chuckles and falls back onto the bed. Y/n tilts her head and looks more closely at him, the way his muscles showed from under the crop top and how she could see his sharp v-line and… Y/n has to stop looking, “That’s a little tight, babe.”

He chuckles and wiggles his brows at her, “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” she looks down at the floor, her cheeks reddening with every second.

“Is it a good tight then?" 

"I-I suppose so,” Y/n answers still not looking up.

“I can always just take it off,” Bucky says lowly, a smirk playing on his lips. “S-Sure, I mean no… yeah no,” Y/n laughs and covers her face with her hands, “oh my gosh.”

Bucky laughs and sits up patting his lap, “Come here, baby.”

“Oh no,” laughs Y/n, “I’m not getting anywhere near that thing, he’s uncaged and on the prowl.”

Bucky purrs and beckons with her finger for her to come. She sighs and shakes her head, muttering under her breath, “Rediculous.”

“I heard that.”

She looks back up at him while she kicks off her shoes and takes off her coat, “Good.” Bucky holds his hands out, “Come to me.” Taking a deep breath Y/n climbs up onto his lap but doesn’t actually sit down, instead of hovering over his lap. “Tease,” Bucky whispers glaring at the space between them. She grins and shakes her head, “Smart is more like it, who knows what would happen if I gave you what you wanted.”

He laughs softly and pulls her to his chest but makes sure to hold her up, “If that’s what you want.”

Y/n pauses for a moment before asking, “Was this an attempt at seducing me?”

“Maybe,” he grins, “but that’s fine if it didn’t work, can we still get snuggles?”

She laughs and pushes him down, lying against his chest, “Like this?”

“Yeah,” Bucky grins running his hands over her back, “just like this.”

“I have this growing suspicion that you stopped to have drinks before you came.” Bucky hums and continues tracing her back with his fingers, “What makes you think that?” Y/n runs her nose against his neck, “I can smell some of the alcohol, and you’re clingier than usual. Hornier.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“In these clothes, definitely.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to lose them.” He turns them over and pins Y/n beneath him, sitting on her thighs. He pulls the shirt off and then stands up. He pulls at the waist of the shorts but they don’t budge. Y/n quirks his brow and tilts her head. He bites his lip and looks down, “I might need help.”

“Really?”

“Please?”

Y/n sighs and takes a hold of the bottom of the shorts and starts tugging. They both strain as they try pulling them off but it only moves about an inch. “Buck,” Y/n says breathlessly, “I think you can skip leg day a few times.”

“Never,” he laughs and then they start again. As it turns out, Bucky thought it would be a great idea to go commando along with forcing shorts on that were way too small for him. “Can’t we just cut them off?” He grunts tugging them down. 

“No! These are name brand, expensive!”

“I can get you so many things if you’d only let me cut these off, my poor Johnny can’t take much more of this.”

Y/n bites down a laugh and simply shakes her head, “You’ll think twice about this then, huh?”

“Maybe three times.”

She snorts and rolls her eyes. Y/n slips down onto the floor, grips onto the bottom as tightly as she could and yanks down as hard as she could. Bucky helps by pushing and finally, the shorts reach a point where they could be pulled off with ease.

“Thank you,” Bucky says sighing with relief.

“Mhm,” Y/n stands up and crosses her arms. Grinning Bucky pulls her in and starts to pepper her neck with kisses, “Let me show you how thankful I am.”

“I guess that it’ll do,” she says a grin already forming. 

“Finally,” he breathes and picks her up and makes them both fall down onto the bed.


	19. Cookies

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

You’d met the Avengers through Tony and Peter; you being Peter’s handler. One day, while watching over Peter while he was at the compound, you’d bumped into a certain rugged and grumpy senior citizen. Literally.

Walking around the compound, you call out for the kid you were _supposed_ to keep an eye on. It’s not your fault he’s so slippery, the kids too smart for your own good. “Peter come on, you know you’re supposed to be studying right now.” You turn to walk around a corner and slam into something solid.

Bringing your hand up to your nose, you grimace and apologize quickly, “Sorry I-” You look up, eyes wide when you see two eyes staring rather annoyed back at you. But the expression vanishes quickly and he puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you alright?” he asks quickly, reaching to move your hand. “You ran into my shoulder, it’s… hard. Your nose didn’t break or anything did it?”

He pries your hand from your nose and frowns deeply, a deep line forming between his brows as he pushes them together. He clicks his tongue and takes your hand murmuring, “It’s a little red but I don’t think it’s broken, might bruise though.” He pulls you back the way you came while saying, “Are you looking for Peter? I saw him a little bit ago, he asked me not to tell you where he went.”

“I’d really appreciate it if you did,” you tell him. “I might get into trouble for losing him again.”

“Yeah, he said he was going off to meet someone… a guy? Nick, Norman?” You watch as he trails off, face scrunching up a bit as he thinks, he shakes his head, “I’m not sure.”

You sigh and look around to see that he’s led you into the kitchen. “Ned.”

Eyes brightening he nods, “Yeah, that was it!” He digs through the freezer to get an icepack before handing it to you, “I’m Bucky.”

You laugh softly while bringing the ice pack to your nose, “Y/n.”

He grins and leans back against the fridge, “You know, you should watch where you’re going. Some people around here are made of metal and whatnot.”

Scoffing you grin and nod, “I’ll keep that in mind.” Bucky smiles right back, eyes bright with amusement. The both of you stand and make small talk while your nose becomes numb before you sigh deeply and set the ice pack down. “I have to go find Peter, and I’ll probably have to do it by tracking him down.”

Bucky’s lips turn down into a small frown but he nods, “Alright.” He hesitates, working his jaw as he mulls over whatever was going through his mind. “I’ll see you again?”

“Yeah,” you smile softly at him. “I’m here most of the time if not everytime Peter’s here so, I think so.”

*

That was a while ago though, and now, when you’re not watching Peter you’re hanging out with Bucky.

“Y/n that’s not right, you’re doing it wrong.”

You look up to stare crossly at the veteran assassin who was covered in flour. “Buck, **just because you’re 100 years old doesn’t mean you can boss me around.** They’re cookies and it’s my recipe.”

He grins and shrugs, “They’re gonna be hard and dry.”

“Maybe I like my cookies hard and dry, you ever think about that?”

Bucky laughs and leans forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on top of your head before he leans down and nips your ear, “I can give you something hard, can we compromise on the dry?”

You elbow him away from you while fighting a grin, your cheeks starting to redden, “Shuddup.”

Continuing to chuckle, Bucky backs away and continues watching you work. Without looking up from your mixing you ask him, “How are the ones in the ovens doing?” You hear him open the oven door and feel the heat come from it.

“They’re almost ready,” he answers, shutting it and resuming his place leaning against it.

“Good,” you mumble, brows furrowing in concentration as you continue stirring the cookie batter.

“You want me to take over?” Bucky asks, already moving to take the bowl from you. You don’t fight him on it and let him take it, shaking the aches out of your hand and catching your breath.

“Thanks.”

You smile as you watch Bucky work, seeing how relaxed and at peace he is. “Are we giving my cookies to Sam again?”

“Absolutely, he’s too proud to admit that they’re bad.”

You swat his arm and pout, “They are _not_ bad, you just have a specific taste that I can’t fulfill with my baking.”

Bucky turns his head to grin at you and says, “No they aren’t, I’m just pickin’ on you.” You huff before relaxing and grinning back at him. He leans forward and purses his lips for you to kiss him.

You squint for a moment before shaking your head and in an exaggerated way, turn from him. “No.”

You hear him gasp and the glass plate gets set down on the counter, his arms snake around your waist again, pulling you to his chest. Laughing as he peppers your neck with quick kisses, you struggle to escape his hold.

“No?” he asks in between kisses. “Why not?”

“Because you’re being bossy and mean.” You try twisting away but only manage to twist around in his arms. Bucky continues peppering you with kisses all over and you reach up to push his face away. While still giggling, you pull your head back and stare at Bucky’s now smushed face in between your hands.

“Kish meh,” he says.

You laugh and are unable to resist him, leaning up to kiss him. Bucky reaches up to pull your hands from his face and bring them to rest on his shoulders before putting his hands on your hips. You sigh and melt into the kiss, leaning in for more which he willingly gives. This continues for a while, the both of you being lost in the moment until you pause… and pull away.

Bucky opens his mouth to complain before he too pauses and takes an experimental sniff in the air, he gasps, “My cookies!”


	20. Painful Past and Future pt. 1

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

I hear a knock on my door and stand up from my bed to answer it, expecting Nat, Clint, or Tony. I never expected Steve to be on the other side of the door. When I opened the door he tenses and looks down at me with a frown. “There’s a meeting in the living room, make your way there please.”

I hesitate before nodding and giving him a forced smile. “Yessir.”

He turns around in the door and walks away and I follow him, trailing behind slowly. When we get to the living room we see everyone but a few members waiting for us. Tony had been the main conversationist and when he sees us arrive he grins and holds his arms out, “Perfect, where’s Bucky?” Steve sighs and shakes his head, his lips pressing together tightly. I don’t miss how he glances at me. Scoffing I shake my head and cross my arms. He doesn’t miss that either and he eyes me angrily.

“Can you blame him?” Steve asks defensively.

“I’ve proven that my loyalties don’t fall with Hydra, Rogers. I _abandoned_ my family to prove this.” I glare sharply at him but the anger is quick to dissipate. I’m only repeating what Natasha and Clint have told me to say, truthfully I’m just as angry at myself as they are. My shoulders deflate and I walk away from him and to where Nat and Clint were sitting; I sit by their feet.

I feel both of their hands tousle into my hair and onto my shoulders and lean against them for comfort. Sighing softly, I look up to smile at them. “What’s going on?” I ask softly.

“We’re talking about the mission,” Clint answers. “We think we’ve got everything ready.”

Sighing, I nod and look back down. I see Tony and Steve bickering quietly, not quietly enough for me not to hear, however. I pick up on how Bucky refuses to come in if it means having to communicate on this mission and me being involved.

Tony raises his brows at Steve and crosses his arms, “Bring him or he’s not going to be a part of the mission. We’re going to do it without him unless he can cooperate.”

“Really?”

“The rest of the team has already agreed, so yes. You two are going to have to give Y/n leeway and stop making her feel like shit. I understand that you two are best friends but it’s unfair.”

Steve glances at the team, then at us. I bring my eyes to the floor and wrap my hands tightly around my thighs as my heart thrums loudly in my ears. I hear him sigh sharply and say, “Fine. I’ll go get him and explain.”

“Thank you,” Tony breathes.

I hear footsteps start to fade and look up to see the back of Steve’s back as he walked away, he walked rigidly and was clearly upset. I grimace and shake my head, “I hate this.”

“If it weren’t for Bucky, he’d be on your side through and through,” Tony says, still looking at where Steve had disappeared to.

“I don’t blame them,” I mumble. “God, why couldn’t I have been born to a _sane_ family?” I throw my head back against the couch and groan loudly, bringing my arms up to cover my face.

I hear Clin groan in response and feel him shift on the couch, Nat does too and her hands wrap around my arms and pry them from my face. “Don’t do this to yourself, Y/n.” I can only muster a grumble in response, pulling my arms back over my face.

“Let’s get this over with,” I hear someone growl. Finally, I pull my arms from my face and pick my head up to meet eyes with Bucky. I look away quickly and clear my throat, straightening up and looking up at Tony and Steve.

“With the information provided by Y/n,” Tony gestures to me. “We have finally located all of her family and their accomplices. We’re going out tonight.” Tony glances at Steve and gestures for him to continue the brief.

“There will be four teams, we are all going to a certain destination. Wanda, Vision, and Thor, you will be going to location A here.” He hands them a folder. “Go get ready.” They all nod and stand together, walking to no doubt do as told. “Tony, Bruce, and Rhodes; you’re going to location B. Bruce will be staying on the helicarrier because you’re good on the computers.”

“So it’s me, Nat, and Y/n?” Clint says sitting up. He grins at me and pats my shoulder.

“No,” Steve speaks flatly and with a frown. Confused, I look at Tony questioningly but he can only shrug.

“What then? You can’t ground her.” Nat speaks, something unpleasant in her tone.

“I’m not going to,” Steve responds. “She’s coming with me and Buck.”

Tony and Clint both scoff at the same time and Clint jumps over me to get to Steve. “Why? She’d be just fine with us.”

“Because you’re taking location C, we need her for location D.”

I groan and push myself up, “Can we fucking stop with the lame code names. Where are we going that you need me for.”

“Your home,” Steve answers. “And you’ve written in reports that it’s a complex place with plenty of secret exits and entries.” Clint sighs and grimaces, looking at me sympathetically.

I hate to admit it but, “I can’t argue with that.” Crossing my arms I sigh and nod, “Alright, well, when are we going?”

“Now.” It’s the first time that Bucky has spoken to me. He turns to face me, looks at Steve, then turns on his heel and walks away. Steve doesn’t even react to Bucky leaving and hands the mission folders to Nat’s team and Tony’s.

“Good luck,” he says as he watches them leave. Steve turns to me and… he looks tired. “Let’s get this over with, shall we? Pack yourself a bag and meet us outside.”

“Bags already packed, I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time.”

“Then let’s get it done.”

*

While we’re riding over the helicarrier, I fiddle with my suit nervously. Steve and Bucky had been silent for the entire ride except for a few quiet murmurs. A question had been gnawing at me for the entire ride and finally, I had to ask it. “Why couldn’t I go with Natasha and Clint, I work better with them and all you two do is isolate me.” There’s a pause, silence in the carrier heavier than before. I huff softly and furrow my brows together and shake my head, “I’m trying to change, I _have_ changed.”

“We’re about to take down your family. How do we know that you’re not going to switch sides suddenly?”

“They wouldn’t even let me,” I murmur, leaning against my gloved palm. “Once they figure out it was _me_ , I was the mole, they’re just going to try to kill me. To get revenge.” Sighing I let my eyes fall shut and imagine what’s going to happen when we get to my childhood home. If we can get them without my identity being exposed it might not be as emotional, my family works coldly. But if I know my parent’s, if I know my brother, the second they figure out it was me they’d be furious and do everything they could at that moment to kill me.

Bucky stares quietly for a moment before asking, “So you gave everything up? Just to stop them?”

“My family is one of the biggest donors for the rebuilding of Hydra since you took them down. They’ve put in a lot to bring them back and if we take them down we’re even closer to taking Hydra down. It’s going to take them a long time to recover from that loss.”

“What do we have to prepare for?” Steve questions, leaning forward and clasping his hands together.

“My mother is the least dangerous, she knows how to use a gun but she’s the least experienced with hand-to-hand to combat. It’ll be easier taking her down before she gets her hand on any guns or calls for help. We’re going to have to shut down most of the power without them knowing but after that there’s going to be a short amount of time that we can get her.”

“She’s the one to pull the alarm then?”

I nod and sigh softly, “Yeah.”

“What else, your father?”

“My father is old but he’s strong and smart. He’s got all the information that you’re going to want but it’s not going to be easy prying it out of him. It might even be impossible.”

“What about if we use Wanda?”

I hum and move my head to the side as I think, “It’d work.” I take a deep breath and continue, “My brother is the most lethal. I was trained from birth to be the spy he was trained to be the soldier. He’s smart but not that smart, he thinks too much with his muscles and not enough with his brains. He’s not going to be strategic at first but he’ll catch up soon.”

“So…” Bucky’s brown furrow, “Your mother is first, then your dad, then your brother?” He groans and rolls his shoulders, “Alright, well you can take your mother, Steve will take your dad and I’ll handle your brother.”

“You should both go for my father first. He’s top priority right after my mother’s been detained. I can shut down the alarm system after I take her down so that my father or brother can’t get help either.”

“You just said that your brother was the most lethal, we should take him out while we have the chance.” Bucky eyes me with suspicion, the frown he already had deepens.

“No. Take down my mother, then my father, then him. He might be the most lethal but other than that he’s useless, he doesn’t have all the information like my father and he’s not going to think about the alarm.” I lean back and cross my arms. “Stop suspecting me. I already told you that even if wanted to go back and help them, they would just kill me.”

“So you’ve thought about it?” Steve tilts his head and squints at me.

I groan and throw my hands up in the air, “No! I left with no doubt in my being. This is what’s right and it’s what I’m going to do!” Huffing I glare at them, “Just detain my father first and watch out for my brother. They might be together and that’s not going to be fun.”

“And where will your mother be?”

“My father’s study is where the alarm system is,” I reply. “I know how to get up there and when I do, I’ll do my job. You come in the same way I had and do yours.”

Steve stares at me for a moment before he sighs and nods, “Just deliver your mother to the other agents and get your ass back to us for backup.”

I nod.

*

By the time we get to my family’s home, it’s dark. We had to land the helicarrier far away seeing as I knew that it would trigger an alarm system. Steve, Bucky, me, and the rest of the team trecked through the thick woods that surrounded my old home.

The lights were on and there wasn’t much to be seen outside. I give the last of the information that I had to the team to keep them from alarming anyone before Steve, Bucky, and I separate from them. I lead them to where I knew the office was and tell them to wait. Scaling the wall, I climb up and through the window as quietly as I could. The office was empty and I move to my father’s computer, getting to the alarms and shutting it down permanently. There’s a scream that I recognize to be my mothers and then the pounding of heels against the hardwood floor as she runs to set off the alarm. I hide quickly and wait for her to run in, peeking from my hiding spot behind the door to make sure that she came alone. She taps on the keyboard and then gasps when nothing works.

“W-What?” She taps the keys desperately, looking around pale-faced. I step out from my hiding spot and point my gun at her. 

“Get down,” I order. She stares like a deer in headlights and I shake the gun, gesturing with it for her to get down to the ground. “ _Now_.”

She swallows thickly and looks away, bringing her hands up to rest above her head as she kneels down slowly. “So it was you,” she murmurs quietly. “I can’t say I expected it, darling.”

“No?” I ask walking forward, pushing her to lie down on her stomach. “Why not?” I pull her wrists down and cuff them quickly before pulling her up.

“You were such a perfect girl,” she says staring at me with soft eyes. A facade. I’m not affected by it. “I was tempted to get you out, my dear.”

“Don’t bother lying, Mother. Please. It doesn’t look right on you, that soft-eyed look.”

She tenses and looks over her shoulder to glare at me. “Your father and brother will stop you.”

“And where are they?” I ask her tilting my head. “I’d like to know.” She seals her lips and turns back forward.

I lead her to the window and her feet plants against the floor in panic, “Wait!”

“I’m not killing you,” I tell her sharply and push the window I crawled through open with one hand. I look down and ask through the comms, “Ready?”

“Let her fall,” Steve answers.

I nod and step back, pushing Mother back in front of me and making her face me. “Don’t tense,” I tell her. “Just fall and you’ll be caught.”

“Why should I trust you?” she spits at me, venom in each word.

I scoff, “I don’t think I’ll ever get anyone’s trust, Mother. Thank you for that.” With that, I push her back and listen as she screams and then that scream cut short as she’s caught. I look out to see that Bucky was holding her and he nods at me. I jump out of the window and climb down, taking her from him.

“They’re waiting at the treeline,” he tells me, nodding in the direction. “Hurry up and take her there and then catch up with us.”

“Got it.” I do as told and start jogging to them, delivering my mother while Steve and Bucky get the rest of my family. By the time we reach them, Mother has started fighting and trying to run away multiple times. “Don’t lose her,” I warn the agents. “Just don’t.”

“Got it,” one of the agents respond. They both hook arms with my mother and tow her along with them as they make their way back to the helicarrier.

I take a deep breath and run back to the house. “Where are you?” I ask, ducking through the window and making my way to the hallway outside the office. There’s nothing but silence and I sigh harshly, furrowing my brows. _Where would my father be?_ I ask myself. Waiting for my mother to escape.

I hurry to where I suspect my father to be, making my way down the stairs and down another hallway. Then down to the ‘basement’. An underground garage that led outside somewhere in the woods. Once I reach the door, I creep slowly and carefully. I catch sight of Bucky and Steve creeping slowly behind some of my father’s cars. But something is wrong. It’s too quiet. Father should have come to investigate mother’s disappearance already.

“Rogers, wait!” I say into comms. Too quiet for him to actually hear me from where I knelt. “It’s a trap!” They pay no mind and I groan anxiously. Why the hell would they switch to - you know what, never mind I know exactly why they would switch to a secret channel. The distrust is amazing. If I don’t die today I’m going to put my foot down and giving them a piece of my mind. Softly. While I probably cry. Grimacing I push myself away from the wall and move as quickly as I could while being crouched. Just before I could reach them there’s a blast from underneath one of the cars that blows me away.

I groan out and push myself upwards, looking up to make sure that they’re _still alive._ From what I could tell, Steve had shielded them from most of the blast with his shield and both men were still intact. Of course. But something’s wrong with Bucky, I hear him wince and curse under his breath. Groaning again and push I push myself up even further, wincing when pain shoots up my leg. I look down and quickly inspect my leg but it’s nothing horrible. Maybe a fracture.

I clench my jaw and glare at them and see that they’re staring at me with wide eyes. Breathing heavy. “Why did you change comms? I tried warning you that something was off.”

Steve opens his mouth to respond but get’s cut off when bullets spray in our direction. I duck behind one of the scraps that blew off one of the cars.

“My own blood, a traitor!” I hear my brother scream in my direction and right after another spray in my direction.

“Enough, son, let’s go!”

I pull my gun back out and step out from my hiding spot, aiming at my brother and the arm that held the gun. Without hesitation, I shoot and he drops the gun as he yells out. He swivels around to bare his teeth at me. “Bitch.”

“Don’t move, I’ll shoot.” I glance at Father. “I _will_ shoot.”

He stares at me for a moment tensely, glancing over to where Steve and Bucky were still kneeling. He raises his head, “I don’t think you will.”

“What?” I laugh breathlessly and shake my head, straightening my aim on him. “No, I will.”

Father shakes his head and chuckles humorously. “No you won’t,” he says. “Your friend over there is hurt and unless you want me to him and the rest of us out…” he holds up a small device that had a flashing red light, “… you’ll come with me.”

I glance at Steve who was trying to help Bucky, my eyes widen at the sight of blood. Bucky grimaces and pales as he holds his hand against his leaking side. I look back at Father and swallow thickly.

“Good girl,” he sighs. Hid head inclines down and he nods at the gun in my hand. “Drop it.” Sighing reluctantly, I slowly kneel down and set the gun down. “Now come here and help your brother.”

“Y/n,” I hear. I glance sideways and see Bucky looking nervous and shaking his head. “Don’t.”

I straighten my gaze and stand back up, walking forward and to my brother who snatches me with his unharmed arm. I wince as his grip tightens around my arm and gasp as he pulls me with him. “Get the door,” he growls, pushing me in the direction of the controls.

I walk to it and start pressing buttons, while I am I hear my father speaking to Steve and Bucky. “I’d suggest,” he says softly, “that you get out of here real quick.”

I turn to look over my shoulder and see Steve swallow before helping Bucky up and holding him up. He glances at me and nods before practically carrying Bucky and jogging out. I exhale slowly and open the door that goes to the tunnel leading outside.

“Good girl,” I hear again. My father grabs me by the nape of my neck and pulls me along with him to the car. “Let’s go.”


	21. Baby Showers

**Pairings: Bucky x Reader**

* * *

Y/n giggles excitedly, she practically bounces where she stood as she and Bucky stand side by side, waiting for Natasha and Wanda to bring them their balloons. Wringing her hands together, she turns to look at Buck and grins, wiggling her brows at him. “I’m so excited!” Y/n squeals, clapping her hands.

Laughing, Bucky wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her up to give her a quick, chaste kiss. “Me too,” he says, sounding nearly breathless.

“All right guys, make way for the balloons! Be careful!”

They turn to smile as Wanda and Nat walk towards them; Natasha barking at everyone who she thought stood too close. Wanda passes her balloon to Y/n and gives her a quick kiss to her cheek, “Congrats, Y/n.” Natasha does the same to Bucky and walks away, returning to the group of friends and family surrounding the couple.

Y/n takes a deep breath and looks up at Bucky, “Are you ready?”

“No,” Bucky says, he laughs and inhales deeply. “Let’s do it.”

Y/n looks up and smiles at the group, they were split in half, one side pink and the other blue. Tony nods and winks before clapping his hands, “Let’s count!”

“1!”

Bucky smiles at Y/n and holds the balloon up with the pin ready.

“2!”

Y/n laughs, her head tossing back.

“3!”

They both swing the needle at the balloon and watch as it pops. Blut confetti and glitter falls around them and sticks to them. The entire group erupts into screams and laughs. Y/n’s hand is pulled to her mouth as she becomes overwhelmed with her emotions. She laughs tearfully as she watches Bucky jump up and down and yell with excitement before he turns to stare at her brightly and scoop her up in his arms. Bucky lays kisses to whatever he can reach, in-between kisses saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

*

“Oh,” Y/n sighs softly, brushing back the dark hair from the babies forehead. Bucky stood next to her, bent down so that their heads were at the same level. His eyes were wide with wonder and amazement as he looked at the child that looked unmistakably like his father. He had Bucky’s eyes, his lips, and possibly his nose but it’s too early to tell. Y/n looks up and laughs softly when she sees his face and leans closer to him and presses a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Wow,” he says, reaching to caress his son with a finger. “Beautiful.”

“What’s his name?” Y/n whispers.

Bucky’s eyes widen and he looks up, “You’re letting _me_ name him?”

“Of course,” Y/n giggles. “I know you’ve got a name hidden up there.” She reaches up and taps Bucky’s temple gently.

Bucky takes a deep breath, chewing on his bottom lip before looking back at the baby and grinning softly. “I wanted to name him… Grant.”

“Grant?”

“For Steve,” he clarifies. “He’s done so much for me, I think it’s only fair that I name my first child after him and…” Bucky hesitates, looking at Y/n questioningly, “Maybe make him the godfather?”

“He’d like that,” Y/n says nodding, smiling widely.

*

“You did what?” Steve looks up from Grant who he was holding. His eyes were wide and his mouth fell open.

Y/n and Bucky both glance at each other while laughing softly. Bucky sighs and crosses his arms, grinning at his longtime friend. “We named him Grant, and we want you to become his godfather.” Bucky pauses before adding unsurely, “If that’s what you want.”

Steve scoffs and crosses the room in three long strides to carefully hug Bucky. “I’d be honored.” Bucky laughs softly, hugging Steve back tightly. Y/n watches with adoration, she can almost see the future for the four of them and the rest of the team. How safe that Grant is going to be, how loved he’ll be. How close that they’ll be. Strong. Y/n chuckles softly and leans back against her hospital pillow, letting her eyes fall shut she continues imagining the future that is laid out for them.


	22. Prewar!Bucky x Reader

**Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader**

* * *

“You boys get into too much trouble,” I say, opening the doors of my house and letting them in. “Honestly, how many times are you gonna come to me to patch you up?”

Bucky gives me a bloody grin, “C'mon doll, you know that you’re the best.”

Steve winces as he sits down on my couch, letting his head fall back against the back of it. He hums in agreement and adds, “We couldn’t go to my Ma, she’d have a fit.”

I scoff and shake my head, hands on my hips as I stare at the both of them. Sighing I hold my hand out at them and order, “Wait while I go get my kit.”

“You’re the best!” Bucky hollers after me.

I walk away, going down my houses’ hallway to get to the bathroom where my medkit resides. I walk back into my living room with it and snap my fingers at Bucky, pointing at the couch as a silent way of telling him to sit. He does as told and shuffles over to Steve, sitting next to him.

“You know the drill,” he tells me, eyeing Steve.

I hum in response and turn my attention to said man. Glancing his body over as I try to pinpoint the most important thing to take care of first. His nose was bloody and his lip was busted. He had a cut on his eyebrow and his right eye was already bruising. Sighing I dig through the kit to find the disinfectant and some swaps.

“What happened this time?” I ask, working gently to clean his cuts.

Steve hums and swallows before he answers, “Some assholes were pickin’ on these girls so we stepped in.”

I grin and glance at Bucky, “Oh yeah? And just how well did that go?”

Bucky crosses his arms and grins back, “Just as well as you’d expect, there was three of them and two of us.”

“Hmm.” I dap the swab just a little bit harder and sit back when Steve winces and pulls away.

He glares at me, “What was that for?”

“For being an idiot,” I say. “I know your heart is in the right place but you’re gonna get seriously hurt one day.” I look at Bucky with the same stern expression, “ _Both_ of you.”

“When the world’s no longer full of assholes who think they can do whatever they want, then I’ll stop fighting and sit down. Until then I’ll do what’s best.”

Sighing, I shake my head before bandaging what I could and shooing him away. “Fine, go wash your hands. They’ve got blood on ‘em.”

He does as told and stands up, crossing the living room to get to my kitchen. Bucky scoots over to Steve’s spot and gives me his signature grin. I bring my hand to his chin and push it up so that I can see the exact damage on his face.

“Both of you are idiots,” I mumble. “Where’s the blood in your mouth coming from?”

Bucky opens his mouth and pulls the left side open just enough for me to see the gash on the side. I grimace and shake my head, shuddering. “Tooth sliced it open,” he says.

“There’s not much I can do about that,” I say with a huff. “Gargle and swish with salt water to keep it from getting infected is all I can tell you.” I bring my hand to his cheek, it had a pretty decent gash on it. Doing the same as I did Steve, I clean it up and put a bandage on it.

“Anywhere else on the two of you?” I ask, sitting back and crossing my arms.

Steve shakes his head but glances at Bucky, I follow his gaze and stare at James. Bucky glares at Steve before clearing his throat and looking at me reluctantly. I quirk a brow and stare expectantly.

“Fine!” He sighs and stands up. Bucky pulls at the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head to expose the number of bruises and a single cut on his chest and ribs.

“Jesus!” I exclaimed, grabbing a loop on his pants and pulling him close. “What happened?”

“He ran into one of the guys and they tumbled down some stairs and right into the trash.” Steve looks a little pleased, no doubt it was because this time I was having a fit over Bucky and not him.

I glare at Bucky and breathe out harshly before taking the antiseptic bottle out of the kit and a cloth. Bucky pulls away, “No, no, no. That shit stings, Y/n.”

“You fell in the trash and got cut,” I state. “I’m sorry but I’m gonna need something more powerful than the disinfectant I was using before.”

Bucky juts out his bottom lip, looking down at his cut then at me, then at the antiseptic. Licking his lips nervously Bucky steps forward slowly. I grab his pants loop again and tug him back into place. He breathes in deeply, “Alright.”

“You don’t wanna sit down, or lie down?” I ask. My hand with the dampened cloth hovers over his cut. 

Bucky shakes his head and gives me a tightly-lipped smile. Sighing I nod and start working on the cut. It wasn’t very deep and wouldn’t need stitches, luckily. But it was long and covered about three of his ribs horizontally. I try dabbing as gently as I can, cleaning it and the skin around it. When Bucky winces, I look up sympathetically and murmur an apology. The room falls into a comfortable silence as I continue working, the only sounds came from Bucky as he winced and grimaced quietly. 

“There you go,” I smile at Bucky and sit back on my couch. 

He breathes a sigh of relief and gives me a sideways grin, “Thanks, Y/n.”

I wave a hand and click my tongue, “You know I’ll do it anytime.” My smile falls slightly and I raise a brow, “I’d like to not have to, though.” I’d kick him if he wasn’t already in so much pain. 

Nodding, Bucky smiles understandingly before turning to Steve who’d taken a seat on the recliner. His head had fallen back and his eyes shut, we watch as his chest rose slowly and his lids fluttered. 

I laugh softly and look back up to Bucky and say with a shake of my head, “Poor thing.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “He hasn’t been sleepin’ well.”

“Hm, well why don’t you sit down?” I ask, pushing myself up to a standing position. I turn to pick up my mess on the couch. I hear Bucky breathe out softly and listen to the sound of his footsteps as he walks around me and falls down onto my couch. I look at him and grin, “You gonna fall asleep on me too?”

“Nah.” Bucky meets my eyes and flashes a sideways grin. “Someone’s gotta keep you company in this,” he gestures to everything, “lonely place.”

I hum, “Well, let me clean up and I’ll make you boys something to eat, yeah?”

“Thank you.”

With that, I turn with the trash in one hand and my kit in the other. I throw the trash away as I pass through the kitchen before walking to my bathroom and putting the kit back in its place beneath my sink. Then, I walk back into the kitchen. As I work on making us sandwiches, I make sure to glance over my shoulder and check on the two of them. 

Bucky had taken a similar position to Steve, resting his head on the back of the couch with his eyes shut and his hands placed on his lap. But his breathing was shallow, not as slow paced as Steve’s. I turn back to face forward and breathe in deeply. grabbing some sliced meat and finishing up their sandwiches.

I set them on plates and grab napkins before turning and walking into the living room. I set Steve’s sandwich down on the coffee table before sitting down next to Bucky and handing him his own.

Bucky, who’d sat back up once I sat down, thanked me softly before mowing down. 

We eat in silence, Bucky leans closer to me and I blame it on the fact that he probably was uncomfortable with that cut. I sit back against the couch and sigh, turning to see that he’s already finished his sandwich. When he notices that I notice, Bucky grins and leans down to peck my cheek before standing up with his plate.

“Thank’s doll, it was delicious.”

I hum in reply and watch him go into the kitchen and rinse his plate off, washing it quickly before drying it and setting it in the cupboard. “You didn’t have to do that,” I tell him, frowning because he did.

Shrugging he replies, “I wanted to.” He doesn’t come to sit back down, instead, walking over to my radio and turning it on. “Wanna jam out?”

“Steve’s sleeping,” I answer, finishing up my sandwich. 

He scoffs and turns it on, tuning onto a channel playing music before making his way to me. Bucky takes my plate from me and sets it down on the coffee table before taking my hand and pulling me up. In a swift motion, I am pulled up, twirled around, and pulled into Bucky’s chest. He holds me gently by the waist with the one hand and holds my hand in the other, moving us in a gentle sway as he hums along to the song playing on the radio.

“You’re in a good mood for someone who was just bleeding,” I say moving carefully with him. 

Bucky scoffs softly and smiles widely before wincing and putting on a pout, “Don’t make me smile.”

“Sorry,” I say, chewing on my bottom lip.

He starts to smile again and forces his lips to purse, “Stop it.”

“What?” I laugh and tilt my head at him, “I’m not doing anything, Buck.”

“You are,” he responds, leaning down to press his forehead against mine. “You’re being all cute and adorable. It’s infuriating.”

I hum and smile softly at him, “What can I do to not make you smile?”

“Oh, that’s impossible, doll.” Bucky pulls me closer and lets go of my hand to hold me tightly by the waist. “You’re just too perfect.”

I scoff and shake my head, “You’re crazy, James.”

He groans and spins in a circle, “See? Just like that! Only you could make my name sound so good.”

I shush him and scowl playfully, “You’re gonna wake up Steve!”

“Too late.” We turn to see him staring at us with crossed arms and a wide grin. I smile sympathetically and pull away from Bucky to hand him his sandwich. 

“Sorry,” I say. 

He waves his hand dismissively and shrugs, “I don’t mind, I gotta get home soon anyway.”

“Okay,” I sigh, sitting down on the couch despite Bucky’s pout. He scrunches his nose at me and I smile, patting the spot next to me. 

Steve looks up from eating to say, “You don’t gotta come with me, Buck. I can manage.”

Bucky looks past me to quirk a brow at Steve. 

Steve meets Bucky’s gaze with a flat expression and says, “I don’t need you to walk me everywhere. You should stay with Y/n and have some fun.”

“No,” I say with a fond smile. “He should go with you, make sure that you don’t get into any more trouble.” Bucky makes a sound of agreement behind me and I can practically hear his smug smile at which Steve can only scowl in response.

Steve finishes his sandwiches and we sit for a while longer, talking and updating each other on the most recent events that have happened since we last saw each other. Then, before it got too late, I shooed them out.

“It’s gonna get dark soon, boys. I don’t want you walking around at night.”

They both scoff and as Bucky backs away out of the door he looks slightly offended, “C'mon, Y/n.”

I shake my head and say sternly, “Go on, I’ll probably see you tomorrow knowing the two of you.”

“Later,” Bucky waves and Steve does the same with a smile on his face. I wave back and watch them leave before shutting the door and groaning out loudly. I fall onto the couch with a grunt and groan into the pillows. Stupid brunet with a cute smile.

*

I wake up to someone knocking on the door. Grimacing, I push myself up from the couch and try massaging my stiff neck. The knocking on the door persists and I peek through the peephole before rolling my eyes and pulling it open. 

“James.”

He smiles and his face twists into a playful grimace, “Doesn’t sound much like heaven in that tone.”

“It’s after dark!” I exclaimed, stepping back to let him in. “What are you doin’ here?”

“I wanted to see you,” he says with a pout. I sigh and put my hands on my hips, staring at him with a quirked brow. Bucky laughs nervously and fiddles with his hands, “…And I need your help with my cut. It’s… sore and a little red.”

My annoyed expression drops and I sigh softly, stepping to him and pulling his shirt from it’s tucked place. I lift the fabric up and pull the gauze taped to him off carefully to see for myself before cursing quietly.

“If it doesn’t get better by tomorrow morning,” I say, walking towards the bathroom in a quickened pace, “you’re going to have to go to the doctors.”

“I can’t afford that, Y/n.” Bucky follows me. 

“You won’t have a choice,” I look over my shoulder to glare at him. 

He shakes his head and works his jaw before saying, “I _can’t_. I’m saving up money to get Stevie the good meds.”

“Bucky,” I sigh and after grabbing the medkit, turn to face him, “an infection is _serious._ I’m sorry but if you need it then that’s that but we’re not at the point yet.” I take his hand and pull him further down the hallway into my bedroom. 

“I can’t afford it, Y/n.” He speaks softly and even fearfully, something that I rarely see. 

I push the door of my bedroom open and gesture for him to sit on my bed. “I’ll help you, I’ve got enough money saved up for something like that so don’t worry.”

“No,” Bucky speaks quickly, his fists clenched. 

“That’s not up to you.” I push him back down gently. “Let me help you.” I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up and over his head. I hook my finger under his chin and force him to look up at me, even when he tries pulling away to continue glaring at the floor. “Hey.”

He averts his eyes away from me and I pretend that it doesn’t hurt.

“What happened to it being impossible for me to not make you smile, huh?” He sighs and finally looks up to meet my eyes. I smile softly and lean down to press a kiss to his forehead before pulling back and running my hands through his hair. Bucky leans into the touch and relaxes. 

“Lie down, Bucky.”

He nods and pulls away, falling back carefully onto my bed. I climb up next him and trace my fingers around his cut carefully, not touching it but the red skin around. Bucky pulls away from my touch with a wince and meeting my eyes with furrowed brows. Not upset but worried.

“I don’t want to go to the doctors, babe.”

“Let me see what I can do,” I say softly, brushing the loose strands of hair away from his eyes. 

I pull out the same things I used earlier that day plus something from my nightstand. “Don’t know why I didn’t use this earlier,” I mumble, scolding myself. It was a salve balm in a tin that my mother had given me. I start by recleaning the wound and skin surrounding it, patting it dry and then using a q-tip to clean it even more directly. 

Bucky winces and continues trying to pull away from my unintentionally. “I’m sorry,” he mutters, his hands fisting my blankets. “It hurts.”

“I know, it’s okay.” I finish up as quickly as I can before grabbing the salve and swiping my finger in it, collecting enough to cover the cut thoroughly. I cover it quickly before grabbing the gauze and tape and bandaging him up. “There you go,” I breathe, sitting back on my heels. 

“Thank’s, Y/n.” He goes to push himself up but I stop him with a press of my hand to his chest. 

“It’d be best if you rest,” I tell him, voice soft and careful.

He meets my eyes and swallows thickly, “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing, Buck.” I laugh softly, “You could never.” I push myself up from the bed and clean up, “I’ll call your mother and let her know you’re staying over. Is that alright?”

I look over my shoulder as I wait for his answer and watch as he licks his lips nervously before nodding and stammering, “Y-Yeah. That’s… that’s alright.”

With that, I walk out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where my phone was. I dial his mother’s number and wait patiently as it rings. 

“Hello?” I hear and smile at her voice, soft and kind as usual. 

“Hi, Ms. Barnes? It’s Y/n, Y/n L/n and I’m Bucky’s… friend. I um just wanted to let you know that he needed my help and that he’s staying over at my place tonight.”

“Is he alright?”

I pause, chewing on the inside of my cheeks contemplating if I should answer the question truthfully or not. I hear the floor creak behind me and turn to see Bucky leaning against the wall watching me.

“Hello?”

“Don’t tell her,” he whispers. “She worries enough.”

I nod and turn back to the phone, “He’s alright ma'am, just a little tired is all. It’s late and I figured that it’d just be best he stay here for the night.”

“Oh. Alright then, thank you for telling me.” She chuckles and adds, “I would have been up all night worrying about him.”

Smiling into the phone I nod and tell her, “I understand.”

“Tell him I said I love him and that he stays safe, okay?”

“I will.”

“Bye-bye then.”

“Bye-bye.”

We hang up and I turn to see that Bucky’s sneaked up even closer to me. He snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me into his chest, his head in the crook of my neck. “What’d she say?”

“She said 'thank you for telling me’ because she said that she would have worried all night. Then she told me to say that she loves you and that you have to stay safe.”

He laughs and hums into my skin.

“You were supposed to stay in bed,” I say, hugging him back.

“It got lonely without you.” Bucky pulls back and pouts playfully. We start walking back to my bedroom.

I can only chuckle and shake my head, “You’re so silly, James.”

With a breathy laugh, Bucky grabs my wrist and turns me around, pinning my hands over my head and pressing me against the wall. “Say it again,” he sighs, kissing my cheek. Bucky pulls back just enough to look down at me, grinning mischievously. 

“What?” I breathe, cheeks flushing brightly.

“My name.” He presses a quick but firm kiss to my lips before saying, “I love when you say my name.”

Teasingly I ask in a questioning tone, “Bucky?”

“No,” he purses his lips. 

I hum and squint at him, “Buck?”

He fights a smile and shakes his head, “No.”

“Buckers?”

“Y/n,” he chastises, rolling his eyes playfully.

I give in and lean up enough to murmur softly in his ear, “Yes, James?”

He groans and lets go of my hands, moving to my thighs and hoisting me up, still pressing me against the wall. He rolls his hips against mine and I moan out, my head falling back against the wall. I’d let him continue if it were for that soft grimace that I caught. 

“James,” I say. 

He moves from kissing my neck to my cheek, to my chin, and then my lips. He presses heated kisses to my mouth and I give in for only a second before saying into his mouth, “James.”

He continues rolling his hips against mine and it makes my head buzz, my nails dig into his shoulders as I whimper. He groans into my lips and his hands slip past the bottom of my dress and slide up my thighs before resting on my bottom, squeezing my ass. I groan and let my head fall back again, he moves to attack the exposed skin of my neck. Nipping and sucking. With the last of my strength, I speak loudly enough so that he hears, “James!”

He pulls back and at me worriedly, “What’s wrong?”

“We can’t,” I say with a sigh, meeting his hazy gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“Bucky, you’re hurt. You need to rest.” He sighs and lets me slide, my feet meeting the floor. I look up feeling a little guilty, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he murmurs, pulling his lips into a small smile. “You’re right.”

I match his smile and say with the intention of keeping the promise, “We can continue when you’re better, okay? I promise.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. I smile and stand up on my tip-toes to press a quick kiss to his lips, pulling away before he could heat it up. I giggle softly as duck past him, continuing to the bedroom.

I fall onto the bed and sigh, looking at Bucky who’d followed but stopped at the door and was leaning against the frame. He watched with an amused smile, his eyes soft. 

“You’re not gonna join me?” I ask him, looking down at the bed then back at him.

Bucky pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, continuing to stare at me before shaking his head and saying sheepishly. “I, um, I need to use your shower, actually. If that’s alright.”

My brows knit together and I tilt my head, “Why?”

He clears his throat and looks away, rubbing his cheek with his hand. “Y/n…” He looks at me and stares waiting for me to understand something.

I frown and think, pursing my lips. My eyes fall down until I- “Oh!” I exclaimed, looking back up to meet his eyes. His cheeks had reddened slightly and he chuckles awkwardly, I join in. Bucky rubs the back of his head and turns to gesture to the bathroom in the hallway.

“So can I?”

“Yeah!” I nod quickly, gesturing for him to go. “I don’t mind, go ahead!" 

He nods at me and grins before turning to walk away. I watch as he makes his way to the bathroom and steps in, shutting the door. Once he’s in and out of view I let my face fall into my hands and laugh embarrassed. "Stupid,” I mumble to myself. I stand up and walk to my dresser, opening it and digging for some clothes that I bought for him and Steve. I grab a cotton tee, underwear, and some bottoms. 

Setting them on the bed, I grab my own sleepwear. I grab a “shortie” nightgown and set it next to Bucky’s clothes as I undress. The dress was held shut by buttons that ran all the way down the front, I had a belt that cinched it to my waist and unbuckled it first. Then I unbuttoned the dress and let it fall to the floor. Next, my knee-high stockings, and bra. With that, I pull my nightgown over my head. 

I work while humming softly; cleaning up my clothes and putting them in the bin for tomorrow. Then, without needing a mirror, I take out the pins in my hair and let my hair loose. Sighing a breath of relief I crawl on top of the bed and flop onto my pillows, burying my face into the cool covers. 

“My, isn’t that a sight,”

I look over my shoulder to see Bucky, a towel wrapped around his, standing at the foot of the bed with his lids lowered and his bottom lip in between his teeth.

I scoff and turn over, “I’m not a sight to be seen, Buck.”

“You’re beautiful.”

I smile softly before mumbling a bashful, “Thank you.”

He hums and meets my eyes before letting towel drop, smiling playfully when I hear it fall. I make sure to maintain eye contact while he’s getting dressed. Finally, he pulls his shirt on and crawls up from the bottom of the bed to me. Bucky carefully lays down on his side, facing me and staring softly.

“Did you keep for wound dry?” I ask him, grinning.

He nods, “Yes, ma'am.”

I chew on my lip, “…You’re good now?” Bucky fights a smile and pushes his face into his pillow to laugh into it. I laugh with him and push his shoulder, “Don’t laugh!” He peeks up at me through the hair that fell in front of his face. 

He groans and pushes himself back up, “God, I love you.” My smile falls and I stare at him… his smile falls too and he pauses, looking up to meet my gaze. He blinks rapidly, “W-Well… I-I mean… I…”

“You love me?”

Bucky’s eyes widen at the question and he furrows his brows, looking down, “I… yeah,” he laughs nervously looking back up, “yeah. I do.”

“Bucky.”

“Yeah?”

I push myself up to a sitting position and lean forward, “James.”

He looks up at me and swallows thickly, “…Yeah?”

“Y-You’re serious?”

“Yes,” he breathes. “I am.”

“I love you too.”

When I say that, Bucky doesn’t seem so tense. His fallen, scared face brightens and his lips pull into a smile. “Don’t make me smile,” he says, still smiling widely. 

I laugh softly and lean down, inclining my head downwards so that I could kiss him. Bucky turns so that he was lying down on his back. His hand presses on the small of my back and pulls me down to his chest. I pull back for just long enough to look up and reach for the lamp by the bedside and switch it off. The room fills with a cozy darkness and I move back down to kiss Bucky once more on the lips.

“Let’s go to sleep,” he whispers. 

I go to move off of him but he doesn’t let me. “I’ll compromise,” I say. Only sliding half of my body off him, my leg stays hooked around his hip and my head rests on his chest. 

He sighs softly and kisses my forehead, “This is good.”


	23. Uh Oh

**Pairings: Steve x Reader**

* * *

Y/n and Steve were sparring, actually, you could hardly call it sparring. Sam and Nat watch with slight annoyance as Steve clearly lets off on Y/n. Both had hardly broken a sweat and were grinning widely. 

Y/n moves back and forth teasingly and steps out of Steves reach every time he lunges for her. It wasn’t that she was too quick, it was that he was _playing_ with her. 

Nat sighs and Sam clenches his jaw, squinting as he watches. He turns to face Nat, “How much do you want to bet that if we start doing that he’s gonna start barking at us.” She scoffs and gives him a look, Sam nods satisfied with the answer. 

“No!” Y/n exclaims as Steve tosses her up and over his shoulder, then plopping them on the mat and laying on top of her. She squirms underneath him and tries rolling him over but he doesn’t budge, chuckling at her poor attempts. Finally, she taps on his shoulder and he sits up. 

“I’ll be right back,” she says, “I have to use the bathroom." 

Steve nods and scoots back so she could sit and stand up, watching fondly as she walks away. Sam and Nat took this chance to approach Steve. He stands up and smiles, "What’s up?”

Nat and Sam both share a look before crossing their arms in unison and sighing. Steve raises his brow and stands up, “What?”

Sam shrugs, “How long are you gonna go easy on her like that?”

Frowning Steve blinks and tilts his head, “What?”

“He said,” Natasha sighs, “how long are you gonna play with her. There’s a reason we train and you two aren’t taking it seriously.”

Steve chuckles and looks back where Y/m had left, “I don’t-”

“You do,” Nat interrupts, already knowing what it was he was going to say, “I have not once seen you take a training session with her seriously.”

Clenching his jaw Steve crosses his arms, “What?”

Sam scoffs, “Come on dude, what was that you two were doing just now?”

Steve exhales sharply out of his nose, his jaw clenching tighter. “I just think that you should actually train her, not play. She needs to learn how to fight properly, you wouldn’t want a repeat of the last mission she went on.” Steve intakes a sharp breath, his eyes narrowing as he remembers. 

She had been beaten and barely made it to the meeting point, there had been at least six men then. 

“Fine,” he spits. The thought of having to actually hurt her made his skin burn but the thought of her dying because she wasn’t prepared makes him feel worse. “Fine.”

Sam and Natasha nod satisfied and move back towards their own sparring area. At the same time, Y/n had returned from her bathroom break. 

Steve turns to her and points at the mat, “Get in a fighting position.” His face was stern and his voice matched. Her smile falls and she nods slowly, getting into the position that he taught her. Steve nods and copies the stance, pulling his hands up into fists in front of him. 

Y/n shifts her weight and waits, moving when he moves. They circle for a minute or so before he lunges forward and she just manages to duck under and slip past him. She goes to land a kick on his back once she was behind him but Steve had seen it coming and twists around to block it. He keeps a hold onto her ankle and pulls her down onto the mat, once she had fallen with a grunt her pins her down under his knee. 

She winces and tries pushing him off but he keeps himself steady and finally Y/n taps out. He lets off and stands back up, putting himself back into the position. Y/n glares up at him and rubs where his knee had been placed on her chest. 

Steve beckons for her to stand up, “Again.”

Puffing her cheeks out she nods and gets back up, fighting off the wince that nearly slipped past her lips. She stands in the stance once again and they start circling. This time Y/n moves forward quick enough that Steve couldn’t catch her and knocks him down, she puts him in a headlock that he easily got out of and pushes her back. 

Y/n hurries to her feet and stands in defense, watching him carefully. They both shuffle side to side on their feet before she lunges again but this time he was prepared and he sweeps his foot under her legs and knocks her back.

Y/n had been to close to the edge and instead of her head hitting the mat it misses and lands on the hard gym floor. 

***

“What happened?” Banner stands up in shock when Steve walks in carrying Y/n.

“I knocked her down, she missed the mat and hit her head.” He explains hurriedly laying her down carefully on the clear table. She groans out and her eyes crack open, she winces at the bright light. 

Banner looks at her worriedly and brings a light to her eyes, he hums and then lifts her head to check the back of her head where Steve had shown him she hit it. Steve was shifting nervously as he watched, his heart pounding hard in his chest, he felt sick with guilt. “Is she okay?” He asks anxiously.

Banner sighs and looks at him, “It wouldn’t hurt to get her head scanned but I think so.”

Steve grimaces and looks down, “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

Banner pats Steve’s back and smiles sympathetically, “I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”

***

Steve sits in the chair next to Y/n’s bed and smiles relieved at Banner, “It’s just a concussion?” Nodding Banner answers, “And a minor one, she should be fine.”

“Thank you,” Steve looks over at Y/n who looked much peaceful than earlier. “When is she going to wake up?” Banner hums and tilts his head, “Soon, give her time.”

With that Banner steps out of the room and Steve scoots closer to Y/n taking her hand kissing it gently, “I’m so sorry.”

“’S not your fault." 

Steve’s head shoots up to look at her and Y/n smiles at him weakly, "I’m okay.”

Steve sighs and places quick kisses all over her face, being sure to be gentle. Y/n giggles and pushes him off, holding his face carefully. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, “I just didn’t want you to get hurt on a mission again.”

She raises a brow, “So you hurt me at the gym?”

Steve winces and looks down, “I wanted to make you ready for a fight, the others said that I’ve been going soft on you.”

“Steve,” Y/n pulls his chin up so that he looked at her, “if you wanted to get rough all you had to do is say so." 

Steve laughs and she wiggles her brow, but then she punches his shoulder. "Don’t do it again though,” She glares playfully, “there are other ways I can get you.”

Steve smiles, “How so?”

“I have a bunch of ways that I will be sure to show you later when I’m better.” Steve smiles softly and leans up to kiss her on her lips, pressing his lips firmly against hers. Y/n sighs and smiles into the kiss, they pull back and it was silent before Y/n says seriously, “I think I should get a freebie though, to get you back.”

Steve chuckles, “Alright, I’ll give it to you. Once you’re better.”


	24. Miss America

**Pairings: Steve x Reader**

* * *

I was sitting on the couch with my head laying back, trying to relax. My arm rested on the couch’s arm and all that moved was the slight wave of my fingers, weaving through the air absentmindedly. I barely heard when Steve came out of our room and stepped into the living room, pausing when he sees the sight that was before him.

In the air, the water that had been in my glass floated and shifted. It changes from water waving through the air to small shards of ice floating in symmetry. Then to glass, as my mind begins to drift and I start to doze off, replicating the dream taking place within my mind.

I dreamed of a castle of glass, too strong to be broken and inside I danced as if a ballerina in a jewelry box. The glass in the air moved as I did in my dream, elegantly and graceful. Swift and smooth.

Steve clears his throat and steps forward behind me, “Babe?”

My eyes crack open and then widen at the sight of the glass above me, in the moment of distraction the sharp shards of glass fell to the floor and shattered into tiny little pieces. Gasping, I shoot up and go to stand but Steve grabbed my shoulders and pulls me back onto the couch. He points to my bare feet, “You’ll hurt yourself, let me get it.” I turn to watch as he walks over to the supplies closet and pulls out the vacuum, walking back over and around and plugging it in.

“I can get it, Steve,” I protest, smiling as he shakes his head.

Steve hushes me and smiles softly, “I don’t mind.” With that, he begins vacuuming and sucking up the mess I had made. Steve flashes me a devilish grin before reaching under the couch and lifting it up, me along with it. I gasp and giggle, he winks at me before setting me back down and going over everything once again.

Once Steve was finished he deemed it safe for my small feet, “Alright, Doll. I think I got it all.” I stand up on the couch and lean down to kiss him on the corner of his mouth, meaning to land on his lips but I had lost my balance, “Thanks, Captain.”

Steve chuckles and helps me down, “No problem, Doll.”

We walk over to the kitchen and he brings that vacuum with, emptying out the container into the trash before I take it and put the vacuum back into the closet. Sighing I grab my now empty glass and walk over to the sink, going to pour myself another drink.

Steve sneaks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. I laugh lightly and let the cup sit in the sink, turning to face him and wrap my arms around his neck. Steve looks down, grinning at me before pulling me in and up onto his toes. We sway slightly and he starts humming an old toon softly into my ear, his lips tickling my ear as he mouths the words almost silently. I sigh, leaning into his hold and pressing my face into the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of his skin. Clean and fresh. My arms slide down from his shoulders and instead wrap around his torso, my hands fisting his shirt as I hope this moment doesn’t end.

This was his way of telling me he has to go, the only way it doesn’t sting as strongly. Hearing the words themselves left a bad taste in either one of our mouths, it burned as we spoke. But like all good things, this has to end and it does. Steve sighs and stops swaying, instead holding me just as tight as I was him. This was going to be a long one.

“Where to?” I ask softly, pulling my face from the crook of his neck to look up at him. Steve sighs sadly and presses his lips together in a tight line, “Germany.”

I huff and furrow my brows, “And how long?”

I could feel him tense underneath me, he grimaces as he answers, “Six months _at least._ ” I push him back gently to better see him, “Half a year?”

Steve nods slowly and looks down, “Yeah.”

“Is there any chance you’d come home earlier than that?” I ask desperately.

“Unlikely.”

Steve turns and I look around him to see both Couslon and Hill standing next to each other. Both had a sympathetic smile on their faces and step forward. “Unless,” Couslon sighs, “something dire happens here, something extreme.”

I groan and cross my arms, “What could you possibly need with him for _that_ long?”

Hill smiles, “It’s safer for you if you didn’t know, it’s a special situation.”

Steve sighs from behind me and in his 'Captain America’ voice asks, “Is it time to leave?”

Hill nods and steps forward, handing him a folder, “Yeah, I just need to go over everything with you before you head out.” I sigh and brush past them, leaving them to go stand by Couslon. I glare and pout as Hill and Steve talk quietly with one another and Couslon notices. He chuckles softly and turns to face me, “You know, it’s not for sure or anything but I think I might have something for you.”

I turn to look at him, “What?”

He shrugs, “I can’t confirm anything yet so I won’t say much but we’re considering you for something.”

I purse my lips and nod, “Okay, cool.”

He nods along with me and clicks his tongue, Steve clears his throat and I turn to look back at him. He smiles sadly, “Time to go.” I exhale deeply and nod, steeping towards to him. Hill steps back and walks back over to Couslon allowing me to see Steve.

He wraps his arms around me tightly and pulls me into a hug, I press myself into his chest and inhaling deeply. My brows furrow tightly and reluctantly we pull away; I reach up on my toes and plant a kiss on his lips, Steve kisses back and smiles into it before pulling away. He looks up and over me and at Coulson and Hill who nod and again smile sympathetically. Steve groans softly before walking out of the kitchen and towards our room, coming back only seconds later with a packed duffel bag.

He walks past me, planting a kiss on my forehead before following the S.H.I.E.L.D agents out of the door and shutting it softly behind him. The effects of him leaving were almost immediate. I felt too small in the large apartment and the usually happy and warm atmosphere that Steve brought had left with him.

I huff softly and turn on my heel, walking into the room and packing multiple bags. I strip out of my day clothes and tug on more comfortable ones, putting on one of Steve’s shirts as well as his basketball shorts that I had to tie tightly around my waist.

***

I drove to Stark Tower, as per usual when Steve left for a mission, with four overnight bags packed. When I step into the elevator I was greeted by F.R.I.D.A.Y, “Hello, Miss Y/l/n.”

I sigh, “Hello F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“I see that Mr. Rogers is off on the mission as well.”

I pause, “How many are off on the mission?”

“Well, Agent Romanoff is needed on the mission as well as Seargent Barnes, Agent Wilson, and Agent Barton.”

 _That explains why Bucky hadn’t been home all day_ , I think. Frowning I tilt my head, “I thought that he was retired.”

Knowing who I was referring to F.R.I.D.A.Y replies, “His special skills are needed only momentarily, it shouldn’t take too long. Besides, this wouldn’t be the first time that he’s come out of retirement from a favor of Fury’s.”

I chuckle dryly before stepping out of the elevator when it opens. Immediately I was greeted warmly by Tony who as sitting alongside Peter in the large living room surrounded by metal pieces of _something_.

“Hey, Y/n, Steve’s off on the mission too?”

I nod and smile, setting my bags to the side and climbing over the back of the couch because the front was blocked. I settle down in the seat and tuck my legs underneath me. “What are you guys doing?” I ask smiling softly.

Tony turns to peer at me over his glasses, a grin grows widely on his face, “Well, since you asked…I am remaking my father’s technology.”

I raise my brows, “Remaking?”

He nods, “Well, are you aware of the technology used to make your boyfriend the beefcake he is now?” I nod and he continues, “It’s a little outdated and honestly it’s a miracle that he survived. I am updating, remodeling, and modernizing the technology that my father created. Making it bigger and better.”

I chuckle, “You sound confident.”

Peter laughs, “He’s been like this all night, bragging about how good it’s going to be and how he wishes his father could see him make his old stuff better.” I hum and watch as Tony starts looking around him, pushing loose pieces of metal around as he continues getting more and more aggravated.

I quirk my brow and give him a sideways grin, “Need some help?”

He gasps and then proceeds to pull the small pencil from behind his ear, holding it out for me to take, “I need a screw.”

I take it and squint at him, “A screw.”

“Yes,” Tony smiles and gestures to the pencil that I held between my thumb and finger, “Do your thing.”

Peter stares at me in confusion, his gaze shifting from the pencil to me to tony and back at the pencil, finally he narrows his eyes, “What?”

“I’m going to turn this pencil into a screw for Tony,” I explain simply. I turn to look at the pencil, staring at and watching as it slowly came apart into tiny pieces that floated up and together. Moving gracefully in the air as it waited for me to piece it back together. Once the pencil was completely taken apart I hold my palm up and let the screw fall down onto it. With a satisfied smile, I had it back to Tony who hums and murmurs a thank you, turning to focus on what he needed the screw for. Peter, on the other hand, was staring at me in amazement.

“How did you do that?” He asks, eyes wide with shock.

I giggle and try putting the answer as best as I could, “I suppose the only way I could explain it is I can take one thing and change the atoms at a molecular level. Making it into something else completely.”

“Is that all you can do?”

I hum and move my head side to side before turning and grinning at the tissue box on the table next to me. I grab it and hold it in my hands, making sure to face Peter. While he watched I hold my hand by the box and move my fingers in a motion, the tissues started floating out and I make them move around Peter’s head. He laughs and reaches to grab one, holding it in awe. "That’s so cool!“ He squeaks. 

I laugh and Tony turns to watch smiling as he does before clearing his throat and tapping Peter’s leg, "Alright Spidey, let’s get back to work.” Peter nods, his eyes lingering on the tissues in the air. I put them back in the box so that I was no longer distracting him and sit back in my seat.

“I’ll be right here in case you need any more help.”

Tony nods and mumbles and Peter flashes me a thankful smile. For the rest of the night, I help them with pieces that they needed as well as other things.

***

**Five Months Later**

***

My blaring ringtone makes me jump from my sleep, scaring me awake. I groan and answer, my voice thick with sleep, “Hello?”

“Oh I’m sorry, princess, did I wake you from your beauty sleep?”

My eyes widen and I go to push myself up, my hand slides off the edge of the bed and I tumble down onto the floor with a loud groan. Pulling my phone back to my ear I grunt, “No sir, Fury, I’m always awake at…” I check the time, squinting at the bright light, “four thirty in the morning?”

“Good, I need you to come in today.”

“Now?” I ask, still half asleep.

“Yes now, right now. Don’t make me wait.” I groan and before I could say or ask anything else he hangs up the phone. I let my head fall to the ground with a moan before standing up, wincing at the soreness from my fall. I get dressed, my eyes shut the entire time, and get ready to go to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. With my bag in hand holding my phone, wallet, and gun I head out of the room and start walking past the living room. I pause when I see that Tony’s mess is gone and the living room was now spotless. I hum and walk into the elevator, once again being greeted by F.R.I.D.A.Y. when I do.

“Hello, Y/n.”

I sigh and look up at the camera in the corner, “Hello.”

“I’ve been informed to tell you that Agent Couslon is waiting for you down in the lobby.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Couslon was indeed waiting for me in the lobby, standing next to the elevator. When I step out he hands me a Starbuck’s cup, I take it and smile thankfully. “It’s an expresso,” he says, “I figured that you’d need the pick me up.”

I take a sip and then hold it up slightly in the air, “Thank you, this is great.”

We start walking towards the door, “Remember how I said that there was a program that you were being considered for?”

I nod.

“Well, it’s ready now and we kind of need to hurry over. That is if you even want to do it and we’re hoping you do.”

“What is it?” I ask, shivering when we step out into the cold night air.

“Let me explain on the drive there.” He says, opening the door for me to step in to. I thank him as I do so and wait patiently as he walks around the car and sits in the driver’s seat. Couslon starts the car and pulls out, starting as he does, “Basically, I’m sure you know thanks to Tony, but we have restarted to Super Soldier Program.”

Nodding I say, “Yeah.”

“Well, we have been going through all of our agent’s files and doing background checks, looking into their history to try and find the perfect candidates. We aren’t going to just let _anyone_ become the next Captain America.”

I chuckle and nod for him to continue. He exhales slowly, “There’s a certain criterion and you fit for it perfectly. Now we had looked over you for Steve because it’s understanding that he would become upset if he found out.”

“Right,” I smile.

“But you’re the only one who fits it perfectly and currently, we only have enough of the serum to do one person. We didn’t want to waste it on someone less than perfect.”

“So you were hoping that I’d say yes?” I ask quirking my brow.

Couslon chuckles, “I was confident you wouldn’t refuse the chance to become the real _Miss America_.”

I laugh at the name, shaking my head, “You’re right, I don’t think I could.”

He exhales, “I was hoping that would get you.”

My smile falls slightly, “Would the change affect my powers.”

Couslon and moves his head in a so-so motion, “There’s always the possibility but we’ve thought ahead and we don’t think so.”

“The benefits?”

“Same or similar to Rogers. You would gain advanced healing, reflexes, strength, endurance. You know, the whole shebang. It may even _help_ your powers.” I sigh and look down at my cup of espresso, still warm in my hands, “What will Steve think though?”

I hear Couslon intake a sharp breath and look up, “There’s a reason that we want you to come in at this time of day.”

“Becuase of Steve?”

“Well, somehow Steve managed to find out about this and is outraged. He has stolen a jet and last time I had heard was on his way to headquarters.”

“Oh boy,” I groan. He chuckles nervously and scratches his chin, “He wouldn’t go to extremes to stop you, would he?”

I shake my head and smile reassuringly, “I think that he’d respect my decision, he might not be happy with it though.” Couslon nods and continues explaining the situation to me for the entirety of the ride.

***

When we arrive, the first sight that either one of us sees is Steve standing outside of the entrance with a rigid expression, his arms crossed. I groan and we both share a nervous look as we get up, he storms over an angry look on his face, “You actually came?”

“I want to do this,” I say sternly.

“Why?” He looks at me in almost agony, “There’s nothing wrong with you! You don’t need to do this!”

“I want to Stevie,” I say softly. Steve looks almost like he was going to cry, his jaw was clenched tightly and his fists balled. “Let me do this,” I tell him. I reach up to cup his face bringing it down to kiss him softly. He relaxes into the kiss, sighing as he does. I walk around him and towards the door where Coulson was waiting, inside Fury was standing.

“Hello, Y/n.”

I nod in acknowledgment, “Sir.”

Steve steps in behind me, glaring at both Fury and Coulson angrily. I take his hand and hold it tightly smiling softly up at him. His glare softens as he looks at me and he sighs. Fury leads us down a series of hallways until we reach a door. Steve pulls back, keeping me back with him, I turn to face him and he looks terrified.

“You don’t need to do this, you’re already great as you are.”

I chuckle and step forward, “I know. I’m doing this for S.H.I.E.L.D I do still work here.”

He tries laughing but I see it get stuck in his throat, Steve looks down and blinks rapidly. Sighing I pull his chin up until his eyes meet mine and smile reassuringly, “I’m going to be fine Steve, I promise.”

“You’re going to be fine,” he repeats slowly.

I kiss his chin and then my eye catches a loose thread on his shirt, when the idea pops into my head I smile widely and pluck it from it. I focus on the string and change it to a tiny flower, handing it to him. He takes it from me and it looks tiny in comparison to his hands. Steve smiles down at it and then looks up at me, “You’re going to be alright.”

I nod and then hand him my bag, “Do you think that you could hold this for me?”

Steve nods and takes it, “Of course.”

We go to walk into the lab but he hesitates again, fear washing over him again. I chew on my lip before smiling reassuringly, “I need you to stay out here for me, alright. Then I’ll see you once this is over.” He nods once and I lead him over to the wall, “Wait here, and stay here.”

Steve nods again, leaning down to kiss my forehead, “I love you.”

I smile up at him, “I love you too, Steve.”

I turn to face Couslon and Fury, nodding to them. He opens the door for me and I step in. My eyes widen and lips part in shock at the sight before me. The room was full of people dressed as scientists and doctors even a few as nurses. There were officers as well who stood by the walls and eyes everyone carefully.

The main attraction was the container that lays horizontally in the middle of the room, it was black and long. In some ways, it was similar to a casket and the thought sent shivers down my spine. I could see large, circular bulbs on the door. Tony stood next to it, seemingly making last checks to it.

“Stark,” Couslon calls for him.

He turns and I grin, he had ridiculous goggles on his eyes. “Heyo, kid, how you doin’?” I shrug, still eyeing the container nervously. Tony notices and turns to look at it, “What? Are you nervous?” He asks, “Do you doubt my skills? Or is it that the screws you gave me were phonies?” I roll my eyes and scoff, “Of course not.”

“Good, then there’s no reason to be nervous.”

Tony smiles and pulls me over to the medical table, “Here.” He hands me some clothes that were grey in color, I take them and thank him. He nods. The clothes he gave me were a tank top and spandex leggings. I put them on quickly and once I do Tony has a nurse lead me over to the container and help me in. “Don’t worry, the pain will be over eventually,” she says.

I laughed dryly, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

She shrugs, “I guess not.” She and Tony then proceed to stick me with a bunch of syringes that I assume held the serum. I wince as I get stuck and Tony apologizes everytime explaining, “We need to inject it all at once, it’s a lot. It’s going to hurt and I’m sorry about that.”

I chuckle nervously, “Okay.”

Tony pops his head above me, “We’re going to start now, alright?”

“No backsies,” I say.

He smiles and chuckles, “No backsies.”

Then his head disappears, I hear movement around me and then a matching begins whirring to life, as it does the serum is injected. I gasp, an involuntary reaction, at first it was ice cold but as it flowed through my veins and made its way through my body it begins to get hot and burn. I groan through my clenched teeth, the container shifts and starts straightening up and at the same time the door shuts.

Then the bulbs start brightening and I’m forced to shut my eyes, the burning feeling only worsens and a scream tears it’s way through my chest. It was a scream of pure agony and I was starting to lose consciousness.

I hear Tony laugh nervously outside, “Hey uh, Y/n? Things are getting a little floaty out here!”

I clench my hands in concentration and hear him sigh, “Thank you!”

Although I’m sure it was only minutes at most it felt like hours, it finally ends. The whirring dies down and the doors open, I fall from it and Tony catches me, grunting as he does. Fury steps over and helps him straighten me out, while I’m being held up Tony starts flashing a light in my eyes, “How are you, how do you feel? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” I say a little breathless.

“How do you feel?”

I assess myself, finding that once I got over the initial shock and pain from the process I felt good. I felt _great_. I grin weakly at him and nod, “Good.”

He grins back and nods, pulling me over to the metal table and setting me up on it. “Any pain, anything?” Shaking my head I answer, “No.”

Fury turns to Couslon, “I think it’s safe for Steve to come in now.”

He nods, “I’ll go get him.”

Couslon disappears in the direction of the doors and soon after Steve bursts through and hurries over to me, cupping my face in his hands, “Are you okay.”

I laugh softly, holding my hand over his, “I’m fine.”

Steve places random kisses all over my face making me giggle, “Thank God.”

Tony pushes Steve away and we start conducting a bunch of tests. In the end, the effects were certainly enhanced strength and durability. We tested my stamina but making me run on a treadmill where I ran five miles in just under fourteen minutes and I could still have gone for longer but seeing as before I could barely run one mile in ten minutes it was all the proof that Tony needed. And as it turns out it _did_ help my powers and I could use them almost effortlessly, and another improvement was that I am now _extremely_ flexible.

One month later I was reintroduced in the Avengers to the world as Miss America, who stands proudly next to Captain America.

***

“So, Y/n.” I sigh and look up at Bucky who was grinning at me, “once you and Steve get married would your name chance to Mrs. America?”

I roll my eyes, “Go away Bucky.”

He plops down onto the bar stool next to me, “This is a serious question.”

I shake my head as I look at him before looking back down at the dinner I was preparing, “Besides, last time I checked Steve and I aren’t getting married.” He raises his brows and nods to behind me, “Are you sure?”

I frown and turn to look behind me, Steve was kneeled down on one knee, holding a ring in his hand and flowers in the other. His eyes twinkle as mine meet his, “Hey Doll.”

“Steve,” I gasp.

“Would you do me the honor of becoming my bride?”

I laugh and hold a hand to my chest, suddenly feeling lightheaded, “Yes! Of course!” Steve grins and stands, handing the flowers over to Bucky and I give him my left hand. He slides the ring on and I admire it before looking up to kiss him, he envelops me in his arms and pulls me up. I press my lips onto his cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says.

“ _Now_ it’s a valid question,” Bucky smiles next to us, chuckling happily.


	25. Taken Away

**Pairings: Steve x Reader**

* * *

Steve rakes his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots as he stares at Natasha who was standing defeated in front of him. “What do you mean _taken_?” He asked, his voice cracking. Clenching her jaw Natasha forces herself to keep eye contact, “They took her.”

“How?” Steve asks, his posture stiff as he struggles with his composure.

Natasha swallows, “We had gotten separated, she told me to continue with the mission and that she’d catch up. She was almost to me, but then I heard her scream. I didn’t need the ear-piece to hear it. I ran to her, I tried but when I got there she and whoever attacked her was gone.”

“After that?” Bucky walks over to her, his arms crossed as he eyes scan her for any lies.

Natasha sighs, although she thought she could be trusted there’s no surprise that they might consider her a liar, no matter how small the thought. “After I looked for her as best as I could, there was hardly a trace. Except for this.” Natasha holds up an emblem with the Hydra’s symbol on it. Steve inhales sharply as he takes it, looking down at it tight-lipped. Bucky places a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, “We’ll find her.”

Steve nods once, a nod that you could hardly see. His eyes were wet with unfallen tears and his stomach in knots. “Okay,” he whispers, “alright.”

Bucky nods at Natasha who nods back and leaves the room, prepared to make a few calls. Bucky leads Steve over to the chair in the briefing room and Steve lets him, sitting carefully with his eyes still on the emblem. His tears finally fall when it’s no one but his best friend in the room and he stifles a quiet sob. Steve buries his head in his hands, “What if she’s not okay?”

***

I wake up with my arms tied up above my head as I sat against a wall on the floor. There was a gag in my mouth and my legs were tied together out in front of me. I look around the room wide-eyed, I was trapped in what appears to be a small cell.

After hours of being awake, my arms were sore and my entire body drenched in sweat. I could hear somebody coming closer and waited anxiously as they do. Finally reaching the door and stepping in. The door opens with a creak and a tall man steps in, his face covered except for his eyes and above. I swallow as I stare at him, he doesn’t say anything but someone comes in behind him, rolling in a table. I didn’t need to see what was on the table for her to know what it is and what’s about to come.

Finally, the man speaks, “What is about to happen is for you to pay for your crimes against Hyrda, you and all the things the Avengers have done.” He gestures for them to roll the table over to the side, “I don’t need that quite yet, but bring the tub and fill it with water.” The one nods and steps out, my captor steps forward and kneels down in front of me, grabbing me by my hair and tugging it back. I groan out, my lip pulls back but I couldn’t speak.

He chuckles and runs a finger down my jaw and then to my hair, pulling on it gently, “Such pretty hair, it would be such a shame if something happened to it.”

I watch him as he steps up and away, waiting by the door with his arms crossed behind his back. My breathing was ragged as I waited, the temperature in the room high. Eventually, the man who had brought the tub came back with another, I could hear water sloshing around as the struggled to carry it in. They set it on the opposite side of the table and he snaps his fingers gesturing to my hands. Nodding one walks over and unchains the chain that held my hands up, I was still bound though. Then the two try dragging me over but I fight them, pushing one over and into the tub, it didn’t take much for them to stop me.

The leader of the trio growls and steps forward, backhanding me and then picking me up. He drags me over to the tub and forces me on my knees in front of it before forcing my head into the water. I try not fighting him knowing it would make me lose oxygen faster but he holds me under till my lungs reflexively takes in the water and I choke.

***

I wince as a bright light was shone on me, the action cracking my dry lips further. “Hello, Y/n. Come with me.” I was tugged up and then dragged out of the cell that has been my home for the past couple of months. “I want to show you something,” He grins sinisterly.

I was brought into another room and then plopped onto a chair, they quickly chain my hands and feet down on the arms and legs on the chairs. I look around the room in confusion, there were the two chairs, a table and a tv on it. Captor, as I’ve come to call him, sits down on the other chair and turns it on.

“This,” he says with a sigh, “is what has just been broadcasted on live television from the Avengers.”

I watch with a clenched jaw, Steve was at a microphone standing on a stand and surrounded by the team. Everyone looked sad and weary, Steve stood at the podium looking tired and a mess. I see a woman step up and whisper something into his ear, he nods slowly and she steps down and walks over to where Hill stood.

“The Avengers,” he exhales, looking down, “are here to inform you that sadly, one of our cherished members has died. Y/f/n Y/l/n has gone missing nearly a half a year ago and is now presumed dead.”

There were murmurs in the crowd and questions were thrown at him, I see his jaw clench and he looks away from the flashing lights, “That’s all.” He steps down and I see him rub his eyes as he walks away from the camera’s view. Hill steps forward with a bitter smile, “Y/n was a good person and a good agent, she was strong. She fought bravely and feebly for us and there is no way we could thank her. Rest in peace.”

Captor shuts off the tv with a chuckle, “See, they’ve given up on you.”

I blink and look down but someone from behind pulls my head up and forces me to look at him. He stares at me and reaches forward, sighing again as his fingers ran through my hair, “It’s not as pretty as it was, there’s no point in having it now.” His fingers snap and I’m unchained from the chair. The pain in my body flares as they drag me and I wheeze as my ribs are shifted in the wrong way. They brought me back to the cell and throw me down, I gasp and groan out through clenched teeth.

“Get me the razors,” he says.

A man grunts as he steps over me and to the table, he brings back a cordless razor and I was yanked up into a sitting position. While multiple people held me tight as I struggled Captor used one hand to hold me by my cheeks and the other to turn the razor on. He pushes it to my scalp and I watch helplessly as clumps of my hair fall to the ground.

***

Steve lays on the bed, staring up at the ceiling above him. Bucky steps in, “Hey champ.” He looks up enough to see him and nods, “Hey.”

“Are you going to the party?”

Steve shakes his head, “No.”

“It’s been over six months Steve,” Bucky sighs, sitting on the bed. Steve scoots away and shakes his head, “No.”

“You know, that girl, Ashley? She’s been askin’ for you.” Bucky says softly.

Steve sits up to stare at Bucky, “Stop.”

“Do you think Y/n would want you doing this to yourself? The answer is no.” Bucky runs a hand through his hair, “I mean didn’t we all talk about this, one of the things that she said was that she would want you to move on if something happened to her?”

Steve huffs out roughly and looks away, “Bucky.”

“Just take a chance, she’s nice. Sweet.” Bucky leans over to wrap an arm around his shoulder, “Come on, let’s get you ready.”

Later on at the party, Steve stands quietly in the back. Sipping on the drink that he had gotten and watching everyone around him. Bucky and Tony both had encouraged Ashley to approach him. She smiles softly, “Hey.”

He stares at her, a small and polite smile plays on his lips, “Hello.” She sticks her hand out, “I’m Ashley.” Shaking it Steve smiles, “I’m Steve.” She giggles softly and nods, “Yeah.” She leans against the wall next to him, smiling shyly. For her sake, Steve turns to face her, “How are you liking it here?”

“Good,” She gleams, “everyone has been really nice here.”

Steve chuckles softly, pausing after. It’s been a while since he made any kind of happy noise, he looks down at her. Her hair was light brown and wavy, it went down her back. Her face was soft and round with a plump set of lips. Steve swallows, “Would you, perhaps, want to go on a date with me next Saturday?”

Her eyes widen and she grins widely, “Really?”

He nods, “Yeah.”

Nodding she answers, “Okay.”

Steve’s smile widens slightly and he nods, “Okay.”

***

I bite back a scream as I groan, biting my lip hard enough to bleed. Captor laughs above and lays another hard blow on me. I grimace and groan, feeling my face swell up at the beating. He moves around to my exposed back and I hear chains, I whimper.

He grunts as the chain hits my back, I gasp and try pulling away but the chains held me down. I scream and beg for him to stop but he doesn’t. It wasn’t until the skin on my back had broken and I was left bloody and bruised that he dropped.

I sob and let my body fold together, I press my forehead onto the cold cement floor. I sob and cry weakly, “Please.”

“Please what?” He snarls, tugging my hair and pulling my head up.

“Please, stop.”

He drops my hair and laughs, “No.”

***

Hill calls Natasha, “I need you to come in.” Natasha doesn’t ask any questions, she nods and says okay and gets up. Making sure not to disturb Steve and Ashley she slinks past them, smiling and gesturing for them to continue watching the movie. Ashley nods and turns her head back to the T.V but Steve’s eyes linger on her. She waves at him and mouths the word ‘work’ before stepping into the elevator.

She hurries into the office where both Fury and Hill were waiting for her, “Did you find anything?”

Hill nods and hands her a folder, “Here.” Fury steps forward to stand next to her, “I need you and a team to go get her, Clint’s getting ready and Sams almost here. It’s a secure base but I’m sure you three will have no problem. We’ve just got a man on the inside.”

“Has he seen her?” Natasha asks as her eyes scan the papers.

Fury inhales deeply and nods, clasping his hands behind his back, “Yes, while she was unconscious. It’s not good, the medic is going with.”

She looks up, “That bad?”

“We just got word from him that she got another beating, Hydra was beating her with a chain.”

Natasha hisses, grimacing at the thought. She looks back down and Fury pulls something from the bottom, it was bottom up. “These are pictures he managed to take, I’m not sure if you want to see them.” Natasha grabs them quickly and flips them over, a hand covers her mouth as she gasps and her heart tightens painfully. There was her friend, her hair shaven off and her body hardly the actual color of her skin. She was covered in bruises and welts, there were fresh blood and dried blood all over her body. She was wearing a dirty and dingy tanktop that Natasha recognized from her uniform and a pair of shorts that barely covered her legs.

“Oh my God.”

Hill sighs as does Fury, both staring sadly at the agent who stood in front of them. Sam walks into the office, “What’s going on?” He takes in Natasha appearance and a crease forms in-between his brow.

She exhales slowly, carefully and calmly before walking over and handing him the pictures. Sam’s eyes widen at the sight of his best friend’s girl. “She’s alive?” Natasha nodded slowly, “We never stopped looking, but we had to do it secretly. S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn’t expend any more resources to do it.”

He tears his eyes from the photos, “Does Steve know?”

All three adults shake their head quickly, “You saw how he was when we were looking, he’d have killed himself trying to find her.”

Sam sighs slowly and nods, “She’s been going through this for a year though? And now Ashely?” Sam runs a hand over his head, “Damn, Bucky and I didn’t know.”

Natasha shakes her head, “No, it’s alright. Steve doesn’t have to know yet, let’s get her first and get her treated.” Nodding Sam gives back the pictures and looks at them all determined, “Let’s go.”

***

My breathing was shallow as I cracked open my eyes, I could hardly breathe. I bring up a defensive hand over my face but they gently pull my hand back down. “Y/n?”

My brows furrow, this isn’t him. “W-who are you?” He pulls me up and I whimper as pain shoots through-out my body, “I’m working with Fury, we have a team coming over.”

“A team?” I ask hazily.

“Romanoff, Barton, and Wilson.”

“I thought they said I was dead?” I ask wincing as he pulls me up into his arms. “They had to say that, S.H.I.E.L.D’s the one who made Steve pronounce you dead. He doesn’t know we were still working to find you.”

I groan and swallow dryly, “I hope he moved on because I am a mess.” I could hear yelling and gunshots, the guy who was caring me moved over to behind the table, shielding my body with his. The door burst open and my eyes widen and I smile, “Nat.” She waves for him to start walking and we rush through my prison.

They run parallel with one another and she looks over me, “Are you alright, are you okay?” I hold a thumbs up and smile weakly, unable to speak with the jostling of his body movement making every ache in my body worse.

We meet up with both Sam and Clint who smile upon seeing me, “Hey sweetheart, you’re safe now.” I nod and grimace as I get placed up onto a gurney. People immediately start swarming around me and cutting off what little clothes that were on my body and start treating me for my injuries. But I didn’t have the willpower to stay awake any longer and my eyes fall shut.

***

“Y/n?” I see a light in my eyes and groan. “Y/n?”

“Stop,” I groan out, swatting at the light weakly, “lemme sleep.”

I hear them laugh lightly, “You’ve been asleep for 72 hours.”

I huff and finally open my eyes, squinting at the brightness of the room. I was greeted with the warm sight of Bruce who smiled, “Hi.”

I smile back, “Hi.”

He moves the light back over my eyes and this time I don’t fight it, letting him. He inhales deeply and nods, a small smile gracing his lips. He moves down to my feet, “You suffered some spinal damage and I just need to see if there’s any paralysis. Can you move you wiggle toes for me and tell me if you can feel anything when I press my pen into your skin.” I nod and wiggle my toes and then nod again when he tests the feeling in my toes.

We continue with the tests until he’s satisfied, “It appears there isn’t any extensive damage done. A few fractured ribs that’ll heal, as I mentioned, some spinal damage. You have a fracture,” he runs his finger gently over my swollen cheek, “here but it isn’t big.”

“Thank you, Bruce.”

He smiles gently and nods, “Of course.”

“How’s Steve,” I ask softly, leaning back on my pillow. Bruce sighs softly and looks down, “He’s good, really good.”

“What’s her name?” I smile when he glances up, shooting my a guilty smile.

“Ashley,” he answers.

“Is she nice?”

Bruce shrugs, “At first, it’s a little different. She can be kind of bratty at times.”

“Is he happy with her?” My voice soft as I wait for the answer. Bruce hesitantly shakes his head, “I don’t think so, it’s not the same. Not like with you, he seems tired all the time. Doesn’t go out as much, he’s a lot quieter.”

I grimace, “I don’t want to hear that.”

He shrugs, “It’s the truth.” I smile weakly at him and sigh, “When will he know.”

“He’ll be here soon I’m sure, we were all waiting to tell him until you were awake.” I nod and look down, Bruce goes to stand up but I feel him hesitate. I look back at him confused. He stared at me looking more concerned and confused than the happy look he had been giving me before.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, smiling gently.

“You have been gone for a year,” he practically whispers, “and somehow you still manage to be the best person in the room. The brightest.”

“I’m safe now,” I tell him, “that’s all that matters right now.”

He nods and smiles, standing up and walking out. As the door shuts I catch a glimpse of Sam. Our eyes meet and I bring my hand up to give him a small wave, Sam smiles and does the same before the door shuts and then I was alone.

***

“What do you mean she’s ‘alive’?” Ashley asks, her tone bitter. Steve stands from his seat, his blood runs cold, “Alive?”

Sam sighs and nods, “She’s being taken care of by Banner and a few other doctors, she just woke up today.”

Steve hurries over to the elevator and Ashley scoffs, “Wait, you can’t be serious?” Sam glares at her, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Ashely, don’t do this,” Steve begs, pulling on his shoes. She huffs and crosses his arms, “Why would you want to go over there? We’re together now.” Steve’s jaw clenches, “Becuase not only was she the love of my life, she was a member of the team and family.”

“I’m you’re family now though, you love me.” She narrows her eyes, challenging him. Steve wasn’t having any of it, his body fills with hot anger as he stares back at her before he points to the elevator, “When I get back I want you to be gone.” He mouth falls open and she goes to speak but he holds his hand up, “You’re leaving.”

Steve grabs Sam, pulling him with him into the elevator. Exhaling slowly he runs a nervous hand through his hair before turning to look at Sam, “How bad is it?” Sam winces, “It’s not good, but Banner told me she’ll make a complete recovery. Maybe a few scars but she’s going to live.” Steve nods, trying to control his breathing, “Good. Well, I mean, not good but I’m glad that she’s okay.”

“Banner told you and Ashley about her,” he chuckles at Steve’s wide-eyed reaction and holds up a reassuring hand, “Don’t worry, she was happy to hear.”

Steve huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, “She’s ridiculous.”

“She want’s you to be happy,” Sam murmurs softly, “she doesn’t care if that meant that she wasn’t the one doing it.”

“Well to be fucking honest I was building up to that up there,” Steve glares down at his shoes as they walk out and to their car. Sam grins at him from the side, “Language.” Steve flashes him a grin and looks away.

Sam and Steve rush in, Steve leaving him in the dust as he runs past security and to where he knew Y/n was at. As he throws himself through the door his breath gets caught in his throat at the sight of her. He walks up and cups her face gently, “You’re the most beautiful sight that I’ve ever seen.”

***

I laugh weakly, “I think I’m less than beautiful right now.” Steve smiles tearfully and shakes his head, “You’re beautiful and more.”

I bring a hand up to my short hair and his eyes follow, “It’ll grow back.”

“What about Ashley?” I ask softly.

Steve shakes his head and looks down, I sigh, “Steve…”

“Don’t,” he looks up, “it wasn’t you. It was…she didn’t want me to come. She was jealous and to be honest a little self-centered. Besides, I was thinking about it for a while now.”

I smile and nod slowly, “Okay.”

He smiles back and leans forward, kissing my cheek softly, “Okay.”

***

**One Year Later**

***

“I would just like to give a happy congratulations to the Bride and Groom.” Steve’s eyes sparkle as he looks down at me, I smile back. My grin widening as we look back at Bucky and Sam both standing on the stage.

Bucky gestures his champagne glass towards us, “You two are perfect and I am so happy you two got your chance. Your love is rare and beautiful and I would want nobody else for my brother.”

Steve chuckles and it makes a warm feeling spread through me, even though it’s been a year since I had gotten saved everything still affects me so strongly. Steve’s laugh still sounds as beautiful as it did the first time I heard it. His smile lights up my world in ways I hadn’t thought possible.

Steve catches me staring and leans down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. When he pulls away I laugh and reach up to brush the lipstick that was on his lips. “I shouldn’t have used Nat’s lipstick for a touch-up,” I tell him with a wide smile. He chuckles and winks down at me before turning back to the two on the stage. I sit back, feeling content with everything. I watch to the left of me where Nat sat with Bruce, both see me and smile. I look around and see all the people who I love and my chest fills with love.

I look back up at Steve, smiling when he takes my hand in his. I stare up at him, watching as he laughs along with what Steve and Bucky were saying. “I love you,” I say quietly but of course he heard. Steve looks down again and grins, “I love you too, Doll.” He kisses me on the cheek and he leans forward, his lips brushing against my ear, “Forever.”


	26. "You're getting a vasectomy, that's final." pt. 1

**Pairings: Steve x Reader**

* * *

You had only needed a minute, just one. One single minute of silence. Was that too much to ask for. You peer up from closet you were hiding in, holding onto your belly comfortable as you lay on bundles of Steve’s clothes. They were comfortable and smelled like him and currently you needed to smell something besides poopy diapers and the foreign things that your eldest child _loved_ to bring to you.

Just as you had managed to calm the child inside you and the others were finally in their beds taking a nap there was the sound of a door opening loudly and the booming voices of none other than the father and culprit of this mess and his two best friends.

Already, your baby reacted to the sound of its father’s voice and kicked your belly roughly. Then there was the happy sound of your eldest screeching happily followed by your son crying from being woken up. Glowing you struggle to get up and stomp out of the closet, bypassing the door that the screams and wailing were coming from and grabbing the pamphlet you had taken from the doctor’s office earlier and shove it into your husband’s hands, “ _You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final_.”

Bucky snorts out the beer he had been drinking and Sam whistles, twisting around and walking to the door. But you weren’t having it and you grab him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him back. You take Bucky’s ear and pull him along with until they were standing in a line in front of you. Steve was staring down at the pamphlet with wide eyes and Bucky was rubbing his ear while whining quietly. Sam looked scared and was pressing his lips while shifting from foot to foot nervously.

“You,” you hiss pointing at all three of them, “you _idiots_.”

Steve looks up and swallows nervously, paling when he sees the mess that you have become from your day. “I had just gotten them to sleep, the baby _inside_ me had finally stopped kicking. I was finally comfortable. What gave you the right to stomp in here like your kings?”

Steve steps forward, “Baby I-”

You hold a finger up and glare up at him, “I have been awake since four this morning, I am going on three hours of sleep. Your son had finally gone down for a nap after refusing _all day_. Your daughter had finally stopped screeching long enough to let him and had even gone to lay down too.” You point to the door where the screams and crying were still coming from, “All three of you are going to take care of them, make dinner, and clean up what I haven’t managed to get yet while I take a _well-deserved nap._ ”

Steve clears his throat and waves the pamphlet in the air, “Is this a final decision or can we talk about this?”

“ _Final,_ ” You growl at him before stomping back to your room and shutting the door.

***

When you woke up almost five hours later, for the first time in forever, you woke to silence. Refreshed and feeling better you get up from the bed and curiously creep out of the room, tiptoeing to where you heard snores and giggling coming from.

You have to cover your mouth to maintain your un-detection when you see the sight in front of you. Steve had slumped over the coffee table and fallen asleep on top of the coloring books. Sam was sitting next to him on the floor whilst leaning against the couch, his head thrown back as he snores loudly. 

Bucky was holding your son and glowering while handing your daughter different markers to which she used on Sam’s face. Already he had purple starts drawn over his forehead and scribbles all over his eyes and lips. She worked with intense concentration, her tongue poking out as she draws a wiggly line from one eye to the other.

When you couldn’t help but snort with laughter Bucky’s eyes shoot up to see you and he grins tiredly while wiggling his brows. She turns back to him and says with strong confidence, “Now the green.”

He nods and hands her a green he had, she resumes her artwork on Sam and you walk around the couch. Your daughter jumps in surprise and looks scared but you wave an encouraging hand which makes her smile widely. Bucky helps you down as you try sitting on the floor next to him, taking your son from him and cradling him. She turns to look at Bucky expectantly and he hands her a black marker, then she turns to you, “What should I draw, Momma?”

You hum thinkingly before answering, “Draw a birdie.”

She smiles and nods, Bucky chuckles next to you and bumps your shoulder, “He’s going to kill us.”

Snorting you reply, “He’s not going to do _anything_ to me. Everyone knows you never fall asleep in the presence of an unsupervised child.”

“I’m here,” Bucky says grinning.

Laughing quietly you look at him with a roll of your eyes, “Buck, you _are_ an unsupervised child.”

Steve suddenly jerks up and makes us all jump, “No more jumping on Daddy!” He looks wildly around him before frowning in confusion. Your daughter rushed over to where you and Bucky sat and climbs into his lap. Sam picks his head up with a groan, massaging his neck and the kink he’s sure to have after laying like that.

Steve purses his lips when he sees Sam’s face, squinting his eyes and humming. Sam furrows his brows when he sees Steve staring and crosses his arms, “What? Do I have something on my face?”

Steve pauses, shifting his gaze to glance at us before turning to look back at Sam. He grins and shakes his head, “No, nothing.” Your daughter giggles and Bucky leans forward to shush her. Sam notices and stares at us all suspiciously, shaking his head and standing up, “I don’t believe you…” He rushes away and into the bathroom. We all wait with shit-eating grins and burst into laughter when we hear a loud, “BARNES!”


	27. Painful Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pt. 2 to "You're getting a vasectomy, that's final!"

**Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader**

* * *

After some long and painful hours of labor, the newest member of our family is here. Steve was sitting next to me watching silently with a large smile on his face as I cuddled our baby. 

His nose scrunches as he yawns and I can’t hold back an 'aw’. Steve chuckles next to me, “He’s adorable.”

“Of course he is,” I say with pride and confidence, “he’s ours.”

Steve chuckles and nods his head, he carefully leans back into the chair with a sigh, “I’m just glad I didn’t miss it.”

I pause, glancing up at him with a soft smile, “How was the surgery? How are the boys?” Steve winces and shakes his head, “Sore.”

There was a knock on the door and Bucky pokes his head in when he sees us he grins and walks in. “Hey, how you feelin’?” He was holding our son Alex while Nattie held onto his shirt. She squeals and runs to Steve, jumping onto his lap and making Steve groan and pick her up. “H-Hey peanut, be careful.”

Bucky snickers by my side and eyes him, “So you did it huh?”

Steve glares at him before huffing, “Shuddup.”

Bucky turns to me, “Are you sure that’s what you want though, I mean…look at little James.”

I do, a smile grows on my lips and I chuckle softly. James had his father’s soft hair, but my shape. He had Steve’s brows and my eyes, their color’s a mixture of ours just like all of our kids. 

Steve notes my hesitance and clears his throat, “Babe?”

I sigh, “Well, I mean just one more wouldn’t hurt, Right?” I look and giggle nervously when I see Steve with his eyes bulged. James cackles and shakes his head, “I’m gonna go tell Wilson, we’ll be right back. Come on Nattie.” She jumps off Steve’s lap and grabs Bucky’s finger as he leaves the room.

I bite down a laugh and look down so Steve can’t see my smile. I hear him huff, “You aren’t serious though doll, are you?" 

I hum and peek up at him, he pales and groans. "Baby, can we even?”

I look up to nod, “Steve, a vasectomy can be reversed.”

He groans and lets his head fall into his hands, “But they already hurt so much.”

“But look at James,” I say holding him up, “don’t you want another.”

Sam and Bucky burst into the room and see Steve’s look of defeat, they cackle wildly, “Going back under huh, Stevie? The Cap doesn’t listen to anyone…but his wife.”

Sam walks up with a grin, “Don’t worry, I’m sure your soldier will be just fine.”

“Boys,” I chastise them, both turn to smile playfully and innocently. Steve shakes his head, “Uh, baby?”

I hum and smile at him. He purses his lips together, “You know, I-I’ve been watching the kids since you and James have been in the hospital and you’re right, they’re a lot. Are you sure you want to add one more? Can’t we wait to decide?”

I shake my head quickly, “Uh-uh, I want another once this one is old enough.”

He groans again and rubs his cheeks. Bucky and Sam chuckle quietly to themselves. I grin at them and shake my head when I turn to look at Steve he was looking down at his crotch with a fearful and painful look.

Sighing, he shakes his head and murmurs, “Sorry boys, looks like we’re going through it again.”

***

Steve waited for about five weeks before he went back under. I was waiting in his hospital room for the doctors to wheel him back in. James was in my arms and I rocked him gently while he fussed quietly. 

“Mrs. Rogers?" 

I look up to see the friendly smile of our nurse. She nods, "He’s finished, we’re wheeling him in now.”

I smile and nod, “Alright.”

“I wanted to warn you beforehand that he’s kind of loopy from the anesthesia.”

Chuckling I nod again, “Thank you.”

She walks out and then back in with Steve rolling in. He was singing the national anthem loudly while waving his arms around in the air. James’ eyes were wide with shock at the sudden noise but thankfully he doesn’t cry. 

When Steve sees me and James he stops singing and makes grabby hands at us. “Baby! My Babies - wait - where are my other babies? Baby? Where…” I laugh softly and walk up once the nurses had finished getting him settled and hooked up. Tilting my head I grin, “They’re with the team at the tower." 

He sighs and leans back against his pillow, "That’s good, they’re so safe there.” He looks at me with a suddenly serious look, “There are superheroes there, you know that right?”

I chuckle and nod, “Of course.”

Steve looks around, his brows scrunching together and his eyes gazed, “Are we at a hospital?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Am I dying?” He asks with alarm.

Grinning, I shake my head, “No baby.”

He groans, “Then why am I here?”

“You had surgery.”

“What kind?” Steve frowns.

“You had a reversal-vasectomy.” His eyes widen and he slowly looks down at his 'area’ and reaches for it. I grab his hand and pull it away, “No.”

“Is it gone?” He slurs, “Did they take my soldier?”

“No, Steve,” I said while biting my lip, trying to hide my smile. He sniffs, “But I can’t feel it, Y/n I can’t feel it. I think they did the wrong surgery.”

“Honey, I promise they didn’t.”

“But,” he sighs and looks down sullenly, “I can’t feel it.”

“No baby, that’s because they used a painkiller. It’s so it doesn’t hurt.” Steve hums at that and leans back against the pillow again, his eyelids falling down. He fights it and forces them back open, “Mm, I love you.”

“I love you too, Stevie.”

“Even if I don’t have a penis anymore?”

I snort and bite down on my cheek before saying, “Yes, I love you even without your penis. Now close your eyes.”

“It was such a good one though,” Steve says mournfully while his eyes fall shut, “it was a nice one.”

I clear my throat and look down, “Yes, it was. Go to sleep.”

“Okay,” he sighs, “love you.”

“Love you too.” Steve smiles and says, “Love you, James.” James coos in response and that make Steve smile, “Night, Y/n.”

“Night, Steve. Now go to sleep.”

“Do you think that it’ll have grown back after I wake up.”

“I promise that when you wake up it’ll be there.”


	28. Lost

**Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader**

* * *

Oh crap.

I run my hand over my ring finger and feel a slight panic when there’s nothing there. I glance down to see that the only ring around my finger was the tan line I got from wearing it for so long. I gasp and jump up from my seat on the couch to look around me. Our dog, Ellie, perks her head up at me as she watches. I pull the pillows out and bite down on my lip when I still see nothing. 

“Where’s my ring!”

Steve’s going to kill me if I lost my engagement ring. I’m dead. He’s finally going snap and strangles me. I push my hands past the springs and feel around some more. A whimper slips past my lips as I still don’t find anything. I hear the shuffle of feet and tense before rushing to put everything back to normal. I sit back and tuck my left hand between my leg and knee. Ellie whines and I shush her holding my finger to my mouth. “Don’t say a word,” I whisper to her. She makes a grumbly noise and rests her head on the top of her paws. 

Steve walks into the living room and grins at me. I smile back, trying to mask my nervousness. “H-Hey, babe.” Steve smiles and leans down to peck me on my lips, “Hello, Doll.”

I take notice of how he’s got his shoes and jacket on. Furrowing my brows I ask, “Going out.” He nods and brushes his hair back, “Yeah, I’ve got some errands to run, I shouldn’t be too long. Before dinner time.”

I smile, “Okay.”

He heads to the door and turns to look over his shoulder, waving bye, before opening the door and walking out. Once I hear his steps in the hallway start to fade I breathe a breath of relief and stand back up. I look around the room and start lifting things up. After I’ve looked in every nook and cranny in the living room I purse my lips and set my hands on my hips. Then, a thought pops into my head and slowly I turn to look at Ellie. My Ellie. Love of my life. My child. I squint, she might be my child but she’s a devil child. Eating everything she can get her paws onto. Our apartment is proof, everything’s been chewed on since she first moved in. 

Steve’s gone through so many shoes it’s sad. The shoe place knows us by name. So does the furniture store and the pet store. 

I smile widely and in an overly sweet voice say, “Ellie.”

She perks her head up and her tail starts to wag slightly, it’s not her normal “I’m happy” wag. It’s the “I’ve done something and I can’t conceal it”. I creep forward slowly and smile even wider trying to look like I’m not about to jump her, “Do you have my engagement ring?”

Her wag speeds up and before I could reach Ellie she jumps up and makes a bolt for our room. “Ellie!” I yell as I chase her. She ducks for underneath the bed and I fall onto the bed. “Come out, Ellie. Pretty please, I promise you aren’t in trouble.”

She mumbles and barks. I huff and fall down on my stomach on the bed, sliding down the side and hanging upside down. I smile at her, “Hi baby.” She licks in my direction but stays far away from me. I make kissy faces and talk babyish to her, “Come here, come on. Come here Ellie.” She barks at me and her tail beats against the wall. “Ellie did you-” I groan as I watch her puke, something she’s learned to do by herself. Out falls lint, lunch, parts of her toys, Steve’s shoe laces for his running shoes (He’s going to be mad about that), but no ring. I squint and look more closely when I do see something glimmering in the pile of disgust. “Is that-” I gasp, “how did you get a hold of my necklace? It was hanging on my mirror!”

She makes a whining noise and rolls over on her belly. I huff and sit back up. “Come here.” I hear a rustling and then she pokes her head out before shimmying all the way out. I sigh and pet her head before leading her out to the living room and setting up the cage so she would stay in the room while I cleaned up. 

I keep an eye out around the room as I clean up, once finished and the mess is taken care of I walk around picking things up and opening things to see if it was in there. Real panic was starting to set in and I hurry to look in our bathroom, Steve’s always been the tidiest of both of us when it comes to organization, such is expected of a Soldier and old habits die hard, so it was spotless. I check the shower, still wet from when I took one earlier but the drain was too small for the ring to have fallen down it. 

I whine and jump up and down while shaking my hands, “Where is it?”

I leave to look in our separate bathroom and it’s empty. My hearts pounding in my chest and I’m sweating. I chew on the inside of my cheek as I look around, “Where is it?” I remember how I washed dishes and look for where I usually put it when I do them, I slide it onto the paper towel holder that way it can’t fall or slide off anywhere. It’s not there.

Tears were starting to form and I felt like crying. Ellie whines from behind the gate and I wipe at my eyes, “I don’t know what to do.” She woofs softly and sits down. I rub the sides of my face and spin around slowly looking every where. I sigh and say, “I have to find it before Steve comes home.”

***

I spent the entire day, the ENTIRE day. And it’s not here. It’s not here. There’s no way, not after the thorough cleaning that just happened. Even Ellie is in a daze. I sit in the middle of the room and bury my face in my hands, “How did this happen?”

Then I hear the jiggle of the door knob and gasp, I stand up and shove my hands in my pocket. Steve’s head pops in and he gives me a large smile, “Hey baby…” Steve pauses and his eyes scan the room slowly, he walks in all the way and sets down some of the groceries he got down on the table, “wow, it’s…clean in here.”

I laugh nervously, “Yeah, well I just thought… that I’d give you a break from… always cleaning.”

He chuckles and makes his way over to me, pulling me into his chest and using his finger to pull my chin up. Steve leans down and lays a soft, gentle, but long kiss on my lips. When he pulls away his eyes are soft and full of love, “Thank you.” Jeez, if that’s how he’s going to act I’m going to have to do this more often. I scowl mentally at the thought but clear my mind and force a smile. My hands were still in my pocket and he takes notice raising his brow, “Is something wrong?”

I shake my head, “Nope.”

“You didn’t hurt yourself did you?” He asks slight alarm and concern in his tone. 

I shake my head again and step back, trying not to look guilty. “Nothing’s wrong,” I reassure and then change the subject, “let’s make dinner.” I walk past him and into the kitchen, turning to give him a side glance and see if he’s convinced. He was staring at the spot where I had just been standing with a slight frown before he blinks, shakes his head, and sighs. Steve turns his head to smile at me before walking into the living room and crouching down in front of Ellie, “Hey baby, did you eat anything today?”

In a falsetto voice, he acts as her and nods saying, “Of course Daddy, every day.”

Steve returns to his regular voice, “And what did you eat this time?”

Falsetto, “Your brand new running sneakers that you hadn’t even gotten to break in yet.”

“Yes!” He says over-cheerfully, “yes you did!" 

Ellie ruffs and rolls over exposing her belly. He groans and starts rubbing her belly before staring to wrestle with her. While I nervously start making dinner Steve asks me, "What else did she get a hold of today?”

“My necklace, it’s soaking right now.”

“The one on the mirror?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How did she get up there!”

“Hell if I know,” I mumble. I clear my throat, “Uh, Steve?” I chew on my lip and look back at him. He sits up from playing with Ellie and raises his brow, “Yeah?” After contemplating I open my mouth to tell him the truth but instead, “I think she might need to go outside." 

Steve nods and stands up, "Okay.”

I turn and clench my eyes shut, mouthing the words ‘what the fuck?’ to myself. I hear him grab the leader and then the door shut. When I turn I’m the only one in the apartment. Sighing softly I look back down at the food I was preparing and resume the task of doing it. 

***

Steve came back just as I got done with the meal and had started setting the table. He unhooks Ellie and walks over to the sink, “Let me help you with that, right after I wash my hands.” I nod and work slowly, pulling the plates out of the cabinet and walking over to the table. Steve grabs our water glasses and wine glasses, setting them down on the table. While I grab the silverware, Steve takes the food and sets it down on the table carefully. 

He waits for me to come to him, pulling out my chair and letting me sit before he does. “Thank you,” I murmur softly. He nods and smiles softly, Steve grabs my plate and starts putting food on it. “Say when,” he grins. 

I wait until I see the perfect amount, “When." 

Steve nods and gives me back my plate before making his own. I watch with an amused smile as each time he got to where he saw fit he’d mouth the word 'when’ to himself. Once everyone’s plate was made and we were ready to eat Steve decides to make conversation. 

"How was your day?”

I stiffen before forcing myself to relax and shrugging nonchalantly, “It was… eventful I suppose, I got a lot of cleaning done mostly.” Steve chuckles and nods looking around, “I see that, consider me colored impressed.” Trying to get the attention off of me I clear my throat and ask, “So, sweetie, what did you do today?”

Steve shrugs and scrunches his nose, “I trained with Bucky for an hour or so, um, oh!” Steve stands up suddenly and walks over to the living room, I frown and scrunch my brows together in confusion. He grabs his coat off the couch and walks back to the dining room, sitting back down. Steve looks up to grin at me, “I also…” he pulls a small black box out of his coat pocket and opens it up, I gasp, “got your ring engraved.”

“What?” I asked reaching for it slowly. 

Steve hands it to me and I look at the inside of the band to read, _Center of my universe and my best girl_. I hold a hand over my mouth as tears well up in my eyes. Steve’s eyes widen, “Babe, I didn’t think you would cry!” I sniffle and uncover my mouth, I slide my ring and then hold my hand to my chest while still crying. “Baby,” he reaches out to stroke my cheek gently, brushing off the tears, “why are you crying?”

I sob softly, “I thought I lost it.”

He pauses in his stroke, “Huh?”

I sniffle and blink past my tears to look up at him, “I thought I lost my engagement ring.”

Something clicked in his head and he laughs softly, and shortly after I glare at him. He bites his lip before asking, “Is that why you cleaned?”

I nod embarrassed and duck my head down, pressing my chin into my chest. Steve laughs again and pulls my chin up so that I looked at him, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared you'd be mad.”

“Oh,” Steve pouts and pulls me up from the seat and over to him, making me nestle in his lap. I snuggle into his chest and wipe off the rest of my tears on his chest. Steve chuckles and presses a bunch of quick kisses to my head, “Oh, I love you.”

“I love you too,” I mumble.

He laughs again and I sit up to glare at him. He holds a hand up defensively, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop laughing.” Steve kisses my brow and sighs, leaning back slightly to look at me better, “You’re so cute.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” I whine, pouting at him and crossing my arms. I look down and wiggle my ring finger. “I wanted to surprise you.” I jump at the closeness of his voice, right in my ear. Low and soft. I relax and sigh, “Well consider it a success, I was very surprised.”

Steve grins and leans back in his seat, I shuffle myself and straddle him. Steve holds my hips tightly and wiggles his brows. I sigh, “It was a very sweet thing to do, Stevie.”

“Sweet enough to deserve a reward?” He asks suggestively. 

I snort, “Let’s eat.”

I go to stand up but his hold tightens and he pulls me closer to him, “Are you dessert?" 

I blink before taking in a deep breath, trying to keep myself calm and in control of myself, "I can be.”

“Can I have dessert early today?”


	29. Happy Fourth of July

**Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader**

* * *

“Happy Birthday!" 

Everyone laughs as we watch Steve look around at us in shock. Still chuckling I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist, "Happy birthday, Babe.”

“I thought we were just watching the fireworks,” Steve says looking down at me, his brows scrunched together.

I shrug and smile, “You deserve a party, we wanted to give you one.”

“You guys didn’t have to do that,” he mumbles, leaning down to kiss my cheek. “Thank you." 

Smiling I lead him to where everyone was. Tony grins at Steve, I slip from Steve’s hold and watch with amusement as they share a half hug and Steve thanks Tony for the party. "You didn’t have to do this.”

Tony scoffs and waves him off, “Nonsense, enjoy your party.”

Everyone says their happy birthdays and we all enjoy the party. Steve and Bucky share stories of when they were younger and in all honesty, it felt like when you’re grandpas were telling their grandkids about their youth. Except it was two middleaged looking men and I was dating one of them. After a couple of hours I pull Steve from the party and lead him outside, I had planned something completely outside of the party.

“Come on,” I whisper, “I’ve got a surprise.”

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna watch the fireworks by ourselves, come on.” I urge, tugging him with me. Giggling, I tow Steve behind me as we walk over to where I had picked our spot to watch the fireworks. Steve chuckles behind me, his hand squeezing mine firmly. “Slow down,” he says with a smile, “before you hurt yourself!”

I giggle again, “I won’t, I have you to catch me!”

He chuckles again and I look over my shoulder to see him grinning. He nods, “That’s true.”

I smile and nod ahead of us, “We’re almost there.”

When I catch a glimpse of the set-up that I had made, I slow us down and turn to look at Steve. “Okay, close your eyes.” He looks over my head at the place and then backs down at me. I press my lips together and give him a pointed look, “It’s nicer up close, I promise.”

Steve smiles softly and sighs before letting his eyes shut. I giggle quietly and begin carefully navigating him. We reach the spot and I have him sit down on the blanket. “Okay,” I whisper, “open them.” Steve opens his eyes slowly and I watch with a grin as he looks around with a happy expression. He looks around once more before his eyes set back down on me. “Happy birthday!” I smile and wrap my arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug. 

Steve laughs and wraps his hand around my waist and pulls me onto his lap. “You’re right, it is nicer up close,” Steve says giving me a wide smile. I turn around in his lap and look at my creation. We sat in a perfect spot, not too close to the fireworks but close enough to get a great view of the show and it was private, away from the party. We sat on a large blanket, there were pillows set down for us to lie on. I had some tiki lamps set up because I always get bit and I don’t want to ruin the night by having to scratch bug bites all night. 

“I have some food too,” I say pointing to the basket I’d bought, “there’s your favorite sandwiches, some cake, fruits, and some veggies too.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Steve murmurs into the back of my neck.

Shrugging I grin, “I wanted to, it _is_ your birthday.”

He chuckles, “Don’t remind me.”

“How old does that make you now?” I ask, turning back around to face him, wrapping my legs around his waist. 

Steve sighs and holds onto my thighs, pulling me closer to him, “I think… a hundred? Yeah, one-zero-zero.” His face scrunches up and he grimaces before shuddering, “Too old.”

I scoff and shake my head, “Babe, let me be the first to say that you don’t look a day over 20." 

Steve smiles softly and shakes his head, "Whatever you say.”

My watch beeps and I look down with a grin, “The fireworks are gonna start in about five minutes.”

“You wanna lie down with me, doll?” Steve asks, gesturing to the pillows. 

“Yes, please.” I smile. 

Steve nods and scoots us down, making me giggle. I reach for the pillows and set them behind us, grinning as Steve lies back. I stay on his lap, now straddling him. He raises a brow, “I thought you were lying with me?”

I tilt my head and give him a teasing smile, “But don’t you like me like this?”

“Yes,” he says slowly, a smile playing on his lips. “I do, very much so.”

“But?”

“We can have all kinds of fun later,” Steve says slowly, “Lie with me now.”

Sighing I nod, sliding off of him and snuggling down into his side. I tuck myself under his arm and look up at the sky. “You know,” I sigh, “I have another birthday surprise for you.”

“Is that right?” He asks. 

I hum and nod, “I hope you’ll like it.”

“I probably will,” Steve responds, his voice soft. 

Then suddenly, there’s the sound of a firework launching and the sky quickly fills with an assortment of bright lights and colors. We can hear the distant cheering of other spectators as the show begins. 

Steve and I chuckle as we watch with amazement at the bright lights. I look up at him to see him smiling brightly at the sky, taking it all in.

*

The show had just finished, we had eaten some of the sandwiches after and were currently sitting, just enjoying each other’s company. Steve sighs and leans back on his hands, tilting his head at me. 

I smile and lean forward, kissing him softly. “How was that?”

“Great,” he grins, “they’re always amazing.” I hum and nod, looking up at the now dark sky. Steve chuckles softly and pulls my eyes from the sky, I raise a brow, “What?”

He shakes his head and chuckles again, “Nothing, it’s just that, um, when I was younger, my mom and Bucky used to trick me into thinking that the fireworks on fourth of July were for me.”

I laugh softly and nod, “Well, as far as I’m concerned, they are. You deserve it. It’s fitting that you, Captain America, would have your birthday on the most American holiday.” Steve only chuckles and shakes his head. Smiling I take a deep breath and fumble for the box in my pocket. When I find it, I wrap my hand around it, my heart suddenly pounding. I look up at him nervously and Steve frowns.

“What is it?” He asks. 

I chuckle softly and pull the small box out, “Here. You’re birthday present.”

His brows come together slightly and he reaches for the box, taking it from my hand. I watch anxiously and excitedly as he pulls the room loose and lifts the lid off. A confused expression grows on his face as he lifts a golden key from the box. “What is this?” He asks.

“I um,” I hesitate, my face flushing, “Well, we’ve been together for a long time and we’ve talked about this before…” I clear my throat and scratch the back of my head, looking up to meet his deep blue eyes, “I um, was wondering if you’d want to move out of the Avengers Facility and in with… me.”

“This is a key to your apartment?” He asks softly. 

I nod and smile nervously, looking down. “I-I understand if you don’t want to, I know how you like to stay close with work and all but…”

“Y/n,” Steve reaches for my chin, lifting my face up. He smiles softly, “I’d love to.”

“R-Really?” I grin. 

“Of course!” He chuckles. Steve pulls me into his lap and hugs me tightly, “Is that really what you want?”

“Yes,” I answer nodding my head, “I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while, I didn’t know how. I thought today might be a good time.”

“Y/n?”

I meet Steve’s eyes and he laughs softly looking down at the key, “Yeah?”

“Do you know how much I love you?”

I smile at the question, “A lot hopefully.”

He chuckles and leans down, pressing a long and loving kiss to my lips. I smile into it and when he pulls away, he looks at me softly, “Yes, more than you can ever imagine.”

“I love you too,” I say softly. 

Steve pulls me into another hug and sighs softly. I smile into his shoulder. I feel him shake underneath me and look up to see him laughing quietly. When he sees me staring in confusion he says something along the lines of, “Bucky’s gonna be pissed that I’m leaving him with Sam.”

I grin and sit back, “Well, we can always give him a key too, I have a two bedroom apartment.”

“He might just take you up on that,” Steve grins. 

I giggle and shake my head, leaning forward until Steve and I’s faces were only inches apart, “Steve?”

He swallows, “Yeah?”

“Do you wanna go home?”

Steve chuckles and smiles, nodding, “Yeah, I think I’d love that.”


	30. Chosen One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince!Steve AU

**Pairings: Prince!Steve x Reader**

* * *

There was a time, when the prince came of age, that all the woman would hope for. Prince Steve has turned twenty-one and now he will take a bride. In order to decide who will become his bride, there are balls held by the queen and king. They will choose who they see fit to be his, he does not have a choice and neither does the bride. But seeing as all the young and single woman are there willingly, you won’t see them complain.

You used to dream of the day, picturing yourself in a beautiful wedding gown, arms linked with the princes. The hopes and dreams of a child. For most woman, these dreams reawaken and return but there are a few who have grown past that. You have. One day you woke up, you saw that there were other things to dream of. Like saving the lives of others, saving the lives of children. That’s what you were, a nurse. A young one too, but since the recent war, there’s been a lack of them and desperate need for them.

*

You sleep on the floor of a child’s bedroom, his mother couldn’t afford to put him in the sickhouse; there was a lack of rooms anyway. Benjamin, that’s the child’s name. He was only six, not sick but weak from an illness that wracked his lungs and left him with a fever. Half of you was still awake, listening to his breathing, making sure that he’s still breathing.

When there’s a sudden gasp, cough, and whimper you shoot up automatically. Kneeling by his bedside you cup his cheek and rest your knuckles on his forehead. It was only a little warm. Sighing you rest your forehead on his mattress before tiredly pushing yourself up and walking over to the small table across from his bed. There, there was a basin filled with cool water and a cloth that was lying next to it. You soak the cloth in the water and carefully wring it out before walking back to his bedside and before you put the cloth on his forehead you bring your knuckles back up and press it on his forehead one more time. You frown, he is running a bit of a fever. Breathing softly you rest the folded cloth down on his forehead.

The action must’ve woken him because his face screws up slightly before his eyes crack open. You pause and stare down at him as he blinks up at you. He frowns slightly before coughing a bit more. “You’re not leaving are you?” His voice was croaky and weak.

Shaking your head you answer, “No, of course not.”

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Ben asks, his eyes already falling shut. He blindly reaches for your hand and when he finds it he holds onto you tightly.

Smiling softly you squeeze his hand back, “Yes.”

“Promise?”

You pause before breathing in deeply and nodding, “Yes, I promise Benjamin.”

“Okay,” he mumbles and lets go of your hand. Ben sighs softly and relaxes. You wait for a moment, watching as he falls deeper and deeper into sleep. His cheeks were red now with the growing fever and your heart swelled with worry. Kneeling back down, you lie on your thin mat on the floor and bring the blanket up to your chest. You don’t think you can manage to fall back asleep, not with the knowledge that he might be getting sick again. You don’t think he’ll survive it again.

The sun was just starting to peek up past the top of the trees when you get up, you hadn’t fallen back asleep. Over the night you made sure to keep him cool. But now you had to get up, groaning you do so and stretch out your sore joints. You turn, blinking tiredly at Ben who was sleeping more soundly. You take the cloth from his forehead and press your knuckles, once again, to his forehead. He’s much cooler than before.

Breathing in deeply, you clean up a bit before rubbing your face and leaving his room. You close his door softly before tiptoeing around the house. You pause at the sight of his mother, Rosa, sleeping in a wooden chair by an open window. The room was filled with chilly air and she had a thin dress on. You frown, she should be in bed, she got sick too. Walking quietly to her, you close the window and reach to wake her before pausing. Sighing you shake your head, she needs the rest. You find a blanket to throw over her and a small piece of paper, quickly you scribble out:

_Be back soon, you should go to bed and rest. Sleeping by an open window isn’t good for either of you._

Grabbing your coat that was hanging off of the hook by the door, you step out and shut the door quietly. The morning air had a chill to it and dew clung to everything. Taking a deep breath, you move forward to the dirt road, your home wasn’t that far from here; it’s only a few minutes away. You walked down the road with your coat wrapped tightly around your torso, you were so focused on hurrying back after promising Ben that you hadn’t heard the carriage come up right behind you until you heard the panicked voice of the driver.

“MAKE WAY!”

Swiveling around you see it heading straight for you and to save yourself from being both trampled and run over you fall into the ditch, grunting when you hit the ground. You grimace at the wet feeling of the mud and dirt beneath you and grumble under your breath as you push yourself up and make a poor attempt at wiping the mud off.

A hand holds itself out to you and you glance up to see an apologetic looking prince. Your eyes widen and you let him pull you up. “I’m so sorry about that, are you alright?” He asks.

You blink a moment before nodding and clearing your throat, “Yeah, I’m fine, it’s fine. My fault, I should have been paying attention.” You pull your hand from his and move to walk around him, “I… I have to go.”

“Are you sure that you’re alright?” The prince walks with you and glances at your now tattered and torn dress.

Your hip hurt but the intensity of the pain was already starting to fade, at most it would leave a bruise. You smile politely at him and shake your head, “Thank you for the offer, Prince, but I wouldn’t wish to impose.” You gesture to the mud that was now covering you, “Besides, I’m filthy.”

“You can call me Steve,” he smiles softly, “and if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you,” you breathe and give him a wider smile.

“Perhaps I’ll see you at one of the balls?” He asks as you continue walking.

You shake your head, “No, I have better things to do.” You grimace at the choice of words and smile sheepishly at him, “…That’s not what I meant.”

Steve chuckles and shrugs, “Don’t worry, I feel the same way.”

“I’m a nurse,” You explain, “and to me that’s that’s more important that… well… you? Don’t get me wrong, Steve, I’m sure you’re a great person and a prince but I don’t think you should be my top priority.”

“That’s excellent thinking my dear.”

You jump at the soft voice that came from the carriage that you now stood by. Glancing up you see the gentle smiling face of the queen staring down at you. “P-Pardon,” you stutter confusedly.

“I admire your way of thinking,” she says just a bit more slowly. “Please come in.”

You give Steve a panicked look and he grimaces before turning to glance up at his mother, “I already offered, she doesn’t feel comfortable with doing that.”

The queen frowns and sighs softly, “Very well, I hope to see you again Ms…”

“Y/n.”

“Where would I find you if I looked?”

“I spend most of my time at the sickhouse,” You answer pointing down the road. “It’s past the village only a little way, you shouldn’t miss it if you look.”

“Thank you, Ms. Y/n. Goodbye.”

Bowing your head respectively you murmur a goodbye back before smiling politely at Steve, watching as he steps into the carriage and it drives off. Taking a deep breath you rake your hands through your hair and glance up at the sun which had risen even further. Groaning you turn towards your house and start to jog. You made a promise.

*

“What’s happened, Y/n!” Your mother takes in your muddy appearance, shocked. You smile sheepishly and only shake your head.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” You press a quick kiss to her cheek before running up the stairs that led to your small attic bedroom. Your sister was lying on your bed, fiddling with and reading one of your precious books. Glaring you snatch it from her hands and point at the door, “Out.”

She pouts and crosses her arms, “Why?”

You turn your back to her and begin untying your dress, “One, I told you to stay out of my room. Two, I told you to never touch my things. Three, I am in a hurry and need to get dressed, so get out.”

“What happened to you?” She scrunches her nose and makes no attempt at moving.

“I fell,” you answer simply. Sighing you turn and look at her, “Please, get out of my room.”

Huffing she pushes herself up and moves for the door but before she could leave you catch her by her arm and pull out the necklace that your grandfather had made for you from her pocket. Grabbing it you scowl at her, “Don’t touch this. You have your own.”

“It’s got a crack in it,” she whines.

Huffing you shrug and push her out, “That is your own fault, you shouldn’t have been careless with your gift.”

She turns and opens her mouth to respond but you shut and lock the door in her face. Groaning you finish undressing and use the basin of water on your dresser from the day before to wipe off the mud on your skin. You do so quickly before putting on your work dress and tying up your hair with a white head cloth as every nurse does. Once ready you slip on your work shoes and head back down the steps, looking at your mother, “Please don’t let her back in my room again.”

Your mother turns to give your little sister a dirty look before looking back at you and nodding, “Of course.”

“Where are you off to?” The deep and rumbly voice of your father comes from the family toom. You sigh and turn to look at him.

Gesturing to yourself you answer, “Isn’t it obvious, work.”

“Where were you last night.” You watch silently as he stares at you, your jaw locked. “Answer me,” he growls, his eyes narrowing.

Huffing you look down, “I was with Benjamin and his mother.”

“Haven’t I told you to come home after work? Hm?”

“He’s sick, she’s still recovering-”

“I don’t want to hear it Y/n!” You swallow your words and press your lips together. Your father continues, his voice low in the worst way, “You don’t have any excuse, girl. One family, that’s all that you get. We clear?”

“A person can have more than one family, Fa-”

“ONE family.” He glares at you, “That is it.” He stands up and walks over to you, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “When I get home from work tonight, you better be here or I am dragging your ass back home. We clear?” You pinch your mouth shut and shut your eyes but they snap open when he grabs your arm tightly. You look up to meet his eyes, “Are. We. Clear?”

“Yes.” You say sharply, pulling your arm free from his hold. You walk around him and quickly walk to the door. “Bye.” Then you’re out, free from the tense atmosphere you take a breath and shake your head. By this time you’d be lucky to make it back in time, let’s hope that luck was on your side. Breaking into a jog you make your way to Benjamin’s home in hopes that you’ll make it on time.

*

You enter the home as quietly as you could, attempting to stifle your heavy breathing from hurrying. You look at the chair and see that Rosa is no longer sleeping by the window as isn’t in sight. Carefully tip-toeing to her bedroom door you crack it open to see that she’s fallen on top of her bed with the blanket that you gave her wrapped around. You smile softly before shutting the door again. Then you make your ways upstairs and look into Benjamin’s bedroom, walking in and checking to make sure he’s okay.

He’s still got a fever but nothing worse than that right now. As long as you and Rosa can keep it at bay he’ll be fine.

You leave the room and walk back downstairs, Rosa was not a messy woman by any means. Before she was ill she would clean vigorously, making sure that there wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere. But when she fell ill it was harder for her to keep up with that and everything else; that’s one of the reasons you stayed with them so often. You aren’t sure how to tell her that you won’t be able to do that anymore. Sighing, you shake your head and look around, there were things to do to keep your mind off of that. You’d have to leave as soon as both of them were up, might as well make use of that time by making them something to eat and cleaning.

*

Rosa sneaks up behind you, her voice soft and airy as she spoke. “What’s this?” You turn to see that she’s gestured to the steaming stew that you’ve made. Smiling you pull out a seat and gesture for her to sit. 

“You’ve gotten stronger but you still need a little help, I thought this could do the trick.”

“Oh,” her lips pull into a smile. Rosa looks back up to and bows her head, “Thank you, Y/n.”

You sigh softly and sit down across from her, watching as she made herself a bowl. She peeks up at you as she does and gives you a knowing look, “Your father’s finally had enough?”

“For now,” you breathe looking down at your hands. You frown, “I don’t understand.”

“What are you confused about, love?”

“He used to tell me about all the nurses that saved his life when he was in the war…” you pause to take a deep breath, “but now it’s like he despises them.”

“Hm,” she hums and looks down at her stew. “I can understand.”

“You can?”

“From a parents standpoint, yes.” She chuckles and sighs, “My husband used to tell me about those nurses too, how proud he was to have known them.” Her small smile turns into a deep frown, “During that break between the wars, he came home and he did not speak of them anymore. When I asked, he told me that there was no greater sacrifice than being a nurse during the war.”

“What did he mean?”

Rosa sighs and brushes her hair back, she moves to lean against the back of the chair. “The enemies, they were not idiots, our nurses were exceptional and with them, there were very few deaths. So they went to the nurses camp, nobody expected it. They were slaughtered. After that, if there was a nurse on the field, they were the main targets.”

“But I’m not that kind of nurse,” you protest, your brows furrowing.

“Let me ask you this, Y/n.” Her eyes raise to stare at you, “If there was another war, and we were in desperate need of in-field nurses, would you volunteer yourself.”

You open your mouth but you can’t say anything, yes you would. You groan and cross your arms, “That’s _my_ choice.”

“Your father hopes that keeping you from being so invested in being a nurse might hinder you from making the decision in the future if it ever presents itself.”

“Mama.” You and Rosa both turn to see Benjamin standing at the bottom of the steps. You stand to crouch in front of him.

“What are you doing up?”

“I’m hungry,” he answers, looking past your shoulder at the food on the table.

Sighing softly you look at Rosa questionably, “What should we do?”

“Take him back to bed and I’ll bring a bowl of the stew and some bread.”

Nodding you take Ben by his hand and help him back up the stairs, “Let’s go.” Once you reach Ben’s bedroom, you pick him up and set him back down on his bed.

“You’re here,” he smiles softly, reaching up to cup your cheek.

Chuckling you cover his hand with yours and wrap your fingers around his hand, “I am.”

“You kept your promise.”

“I did,” you nod, your smile growing.

Ben’s smile widens and his eyes brighten, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you say softly, brushing a few strands of hair from his eyes.

“Are you gonna be here tonight?”

Your smile falls and you shake your head, “No, I don’t think I’ll be able to for a while.”

“Why?”

You grimace and try to not look away from his disappointed expression. “It’s… an issue that I’m going to have to work on, but until then I’ll only be able to visit for a little while.”

He sighs and nods, “Alright.”

“Benjamin.” Rosa walks in with a tray carrying his food, “Let’s get some food in your belly, your bones need some meat on them.”

“Like Papa?”

“Yes,” Rosa nods her head and sits on the edge of his bed, “just like him.”

“I should leave,” I murmur, walking towards the door. “I’ll check on the two of you as soon as I can.”

“I’m better, Y/n.” Rosa looks at you, her eyes soft with appreciation, “There’s no need to overwork yourself anymore, I’ll call if I need your help. But your after work visits are always welcome.”

You recognize what she’s trying to say and give her a short nod before heading down the stairs and out of the house. Now it’s time to get to work.

*

When you get to the sickhouse the nurses were bustling around as usual. The head nurse approaches you as you pick up some of the charts by the door. “Where have you been?”

“At Rosa’s house,” you answer, not even bothering to pick your eyes up from the charts.

“She and that boy still sick?”

You shrug, “Ben’s got a bit of a fever but Rosa’s well enough to watch him and take care of him.”

“She better then?”

“Much, still a bit tired but yeah.” You take a deep breath and wave the chart in the air, “To work.”

You didn’t enjoy working at the sickhouse nearly as much as you did when you were on the house calls. Mostly because when you were on housecalls it was usually just for children or sometimes the elderly. But here at the sickhouse, it’s everyone of every age. That can be both annoying and extremely depressing.

Your first patient was a bitter old man who thought he knew better than everyone and maybe he did but he was still an ass. Sighing deeply you walk into his room, “How’s that rash, Stewart.”

“Itchier than a kiss from poison ivy.”

“I can’t imagine anyone kissing poison ivy,” you reply walking to his bedside to grab the salve that was made for him.

“It’s them damn fairies, tricky things they are. Makin’ you see things that aren’t there,” he grumbles crossing his arms.

You hum, “What’d they make you see?”

“A be-a-utiful naked lady, her lips nice and plump, her ass as round as the moon.” You scoff at that and roll your eyes, moving to start rubbing the salve on his chest. He catches your hand with a surprisingly strong grip for a man his age. “I can do it my damn self, keep your hands to yourself girl.”

“Fine,” you hold your hand out that help the salve on it, “but there’s no point in wasting medicine.”

Grumbling his scoops it out of your hand and you wait and watch as he rubs all the spots that his rash’s grown. While he does, Stewart grumbles, “The rash is starting to get smaller, when can I go home.”

“We know it’s not contagious, I’m thinking you’re allergic to something back home. Before we can send you back we have to make sure that you’re alright and that you won’t have another bad reaction again.”

“So what I couldn’t breathe a little, it came back.”

“Because we got you out in time,” you point out. “Like I said, we can’t send you home till we know what you’re allergic to and you won’t tell us.”

“And it’ll be a damn secret till the day I die!”

“I know what it is,” you grin at him, “but until you admit it and promise not to buy it again I’m not letting you go.”

Stewart pales and looks up at you, “R-Really.”

You nod while a sly smile grows, “You went to see that newcomer merchant, the one who claims he has cures for ‘everything’. It isn’t a coincidence that the rash is growing up.” You use your finger to point up for emphasis, wiggling your finger.

“Ain’t none of your business you heathen,” he says glowering at you. “Now get on, I can handle the rest.”

*

You work for the rest of the day with children and adults alike, keeping everyone alive and mostly well. You had just taken a break and were sitting down with your arms draped over your eyes when someone taps your arm. 

“Fiona if you’re going to tell me to-”

Steve raises his brow at you and grins, “Hello.”

“You’re - what are you doing here?”

“You told my mother that if she ever wanted to find you that this is where to look.”

“I- yes I did, what does she need?”

Steve takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands, “She wishes for you to return with me to the castle.”

Laughing you ask him, “Why?” Steve presses his lips into a line and looks up to meet your eyes. Your laughing stops and your smile falls, “What?”

“I think you know,” he answers softly.

“W-Why me?”

He can only shake his answer and respond with, “The reasons that the queen and king make their decisions are their own. All I know is that they’ve picked you and wish for me to bring you 'home’.”

“I have no choice?”

“Neither one of us does,” he says apologetically.

*

I’d never even been inside the upper district before, and now I’m at the castle. It was large and enchanting, the floors made with a stone that my eyes had never seen before. There seemed to be gold and silver everywhere. Steve had brought us into a large room that held a long table, it was entirely empty except for the two of us. Sitting nervously you fiddled with your fingers and breathe shakily.

Steve watches and sighs, “Just breathe, it’ll be alright. I promise.”

You look up to smile nervously at him and nod. “Right,” you breathe, “I think I can do that.”

“For what it’s worth,” he says smiling at you, “I’m glad it’s you.”

You laugh shortly and shake your head, “I can’t imagine why.”

“Well, for one, you’re admirable. So selfless for the right thing; it’s truly astounding. You are the kindest person I’ve met so far, very polite and honest.” Steve pauses to look at his hands before adding, “And I find that you are quite beautiful.”

“Really?”

Steve looks back up and smiles, “Of course.”

Your cheeks redden and you smile at him before bringing your eyes down to your lap. The room fell silent as you waited for the arrival of the queen and king.

They came moments later, you rise to bow respectively but the queen beckons for you to stop. “Please don’t,” she says smiling, “there’s no need.” Nodding you take your seat and clasp your hands together. She sits down next to Steve and the king sits next to her. He was just an older Steve, except instead of blonde hair he had light brown with streaks of white. He wore a tired but soft expression as he stared at you. You fiddle nervously with your fingers while he does.

Finally, he holds his hand out to you and smiles, “I’m Joseph, you must be the Y/n I’ve heard so much about.” Hesitantly you put your hand in his and to your surprise, he brings your knuckles up to his lips. “I understand what you’re feeling, child.”

“Y-You do?”

“Of course,” he smiles, “I went through the same thing with Sarah.” He nods to the queen and you look to see her smiling fondly.

“We were both scared,” she says softly, “but we took our time getting to know one another. Can you do the same with my son?”

“I-” you glance at Steve who looked just as nervous and uncomfortable as you felt. You take a deep breath and sigh, “I hope so.”

“I do too,” Steve murmurs.

Sarah smiles softly and chuckles, reaching across the table to hold your hands, “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”

“There will be a wedding in a months time,” Joseph tells you and Steve, switching his gaze between the two fo you. “That should help the two of you get to know one another a bit more so that you aren’t complete strangers. But in that time, you will both need to be involved with the preparations. Is that understood?”

“S-Sir?”

He looks at you and nods, “Yes?”

“Am I able to continue my work as a nurse?”

He frowns, “Why would you want to?”

Sarah and Steve both frown at his question and Sarah actually turns to glare at him. “Have you not listened to a word that I’ve told you?”

Straightening up, Joseph sighs and shakes his head, “I’m afraid not, you will be too busy.”

“We can visit on our free time,” Steve says quickly.

Joseph hums, “After the wedding, you will need to partake in some lessons so that when the time comes you will be an able queen.” You deflate slightly and sigh, nodding your head.

“Y/n.” Sarah’s voice is soft and it pulls your eyes up from the table. “You’ll be a new voice for the people, you can still do good if that’s what you wish.” Her words of comfort being a soft smile to your lips and you give her a short nod.

“Good,” the king says, standing up from the table. “If there is somewhere the two of you need to be, I suggest that you get there before night comes.”

“Am I staying here?”

“Unfortunately for your poor mother, yes.” Sarah says apologetically, “Give her my love, tell her I’m sorry for the circumstances that this brings but please tell her that I think you’re going to be an excellent queen.” Sarah follows closely behind her husband and waves a goodbye as she leaves.

“Is there somewhere that you need to be?” You turn to look at Steve who was staring at you quizzically.

*

You open the door to your home quietly, turning to look at Steve who was watching carefully. “I think they’re in bed,” you whisper, “come on in and I’ll get some clothes for tonight and tomorrow.” He nods and steps in after you. You put your finger to your lips and point to your mother and father’s door, “If he finds out I’m here with _you_ , he’s gonna bring out his weapons.”

“Got it,” Steve shows you a thumbs up and gives you a pinched smile.

You quietly creep up the stairs, each creak makes you grimace and wince but finally, you make it to your door. Only to find it locked. Your brows come together and you press your ear to the door, you gasp silently when you hear your sister snoring and as quietly as you could make your way back downstairs.

“That brat.” You pinch your mouth together and place your hands on your hips.

Steve raises his brow and looks up the steps before looking back at you, “What is it?”

“My sister has locked me out of my room.” You tell him, taking his hand and pulling him back outside. “My father’s doing no doubt, he’s done it before.”

“Your father doesn’t sound like a pleasant man.”

“He used to be,” you sigh, walking to where your window was. “The war made him mean, bitter.”

“Ah.”

You look around for the loose stump that you used to use to get back into your room only to find its ashes. “That’s a bit dramatic,” you mumble kicking at the pile. You turn to look at Steve and grin at him.

He squints at you, “What?”

“Do you think that you can give me a hoist up to that?” You point up the ledge, that’s where you could usually get a foothold and climb the rest of the way up.

“Are you sure?”

“Please?”

“Alright?” He sighs and walks to the spot you need him to and kneels down, he clasps his hands together and looks up to nod at you. You smile at him and nod back before stepping in his hand and letting him lift you up. You reach the ledge easily and step onto it, looking down to give him a thumbs up.

“I’ll be right back,” you whisper to him before climbing up and into your bedroom window. Your sister slept cozy in your bed and if it weren’t for the fact that you had to stay at the castle you would throw her out the damned window. Instead, you just glared at her while you grab your bag and stuffed it with your clothes and some other things; like the small number of books you had, and your jewelry box which you checked before stashing it in there. Your sister, who thought herself clever has tried switching the necklaces as if you didn’t know that her necklace had a crack. You look around the room for it before you see that it’s in her hands. With nimble and quick fingers you slip it from her hands and replace it with hers. You check yours for any damages before placing it in your bag as well.

You write a quick letter to her and the rest of your family:

_I’m sorry that I didn’t come home, I was called upon the Queen and King. They’ve chosen me for some damn reason and I have to stay at the castle. I’ll try to visit or send a letter tomorrow._

You stick the note in between the crack of your door and the wall so that there’s no way that she’ll miss it. The last thing you do before you leave from the window again is let your hair down, breathing a sigh of relief when the weight of the headwrap is gone.

“Catch,” you whisper softly to Steve. He nods and holds his arms out, you let the bag drop.

“Now you,” he says with a grin, letting the bag hang from his shoulder.

You scoff, “You won’t be able to catch me.

"Want to bet?”

You pause, sizing up the fall. You’ve fallen from higher, you only had an ache that lasted a week or two. Shrugging you swing your legs over the window sill and grin, “Ready.”

“Ready,” he nods with a grin that matches yours.

You let yourself fall and to your surprise, he does catch you. He doesn’t even stumble. You laugh softly and shake your head, “Well color me impressed.”

“Come on,” he nods, “let’s go home.”

*

“Lady Y/n.”

Looking up sleepily you frown, “Huh?”

“It’s time to get up now.” The woman smiles softly, “I’m Abigal, I’m here to take care of you.”

“Take care of me?” You repeat, your brows furrowing.

“Get you cleaned, dressed, and fed m'lady.”

“Now?”

She chuckles and nods, “Yes.”

You groan and roll over in the plush and comfy bed, “But I’m so tired.”

“I can imagine.” You feel weight shift on your bed and look over to see that she was sitting down next to you. She chuckles softly, her brown eyes softening, “I heard that you and the prince were talking all night after you came back from wherever you went.”

“He took me to get some of my things,” I mumble, lazily picking your hand up to point at the bag sitting on a chair across the bedroom.

“Oh,” the maid inquires, standing up and walking over to it. “And what did you two get?”

“You can look,” you tell her, sitting yourself up by your elbows.

She nods and opens up the straps and pulls it open. You watch as she starts pulling the things out, first your books, she flips through them before setting them down gently. Abigal looks up at you and smiles, “A reader, Steven will like that.”

“'Steven’?” You grin and tilt your head.

She chuckles and nods, “Steven Grant Rogers, I’ve known him all his life.” She hums, “Strong lad, and kind, so kind. I’d consider myself the luckiest of 'em all if I were you, history has shown that it doesn’t always end well for the picked princesses.” Abigal pulls out the dresses that you’ve packed and raised a brow in your direction. “As lovely as this is, I’m afraid you can’t be wearing that.”

“But it’s comfy,” you say pouting.

Abigal stares at you before shaking her head, “We can’t have you wearing this in the castle, m'lady. I’m 'fraid not.” She pulls out my necklace and gasps, “But you can wear this! This is lovely!”

“My grandfather made it for me,” I smile. “The last gift.”

“It’s beautiful,” she murmurs, turning to smile at you. She sets down on the table next to the books. “Come now, my dear, it’s time to get up.” Abigal claps her hands and gestures for you to get up and out of bed.

Abigal has you sit in a bathtub while she washes and scrubs your hair before moving to do the same to the rest of you. You didn’t let yourself be embarrassed after she explained that this is normal and if you wanted it to be, it could be a one-time thing. So you let her do her thing and she left you soft and smelling like a field of flowers. Your hair is braided loosely and you wear an emerald green dress. It had beautiful embroidery at the end of the sleeves and at the bottom of the dress. A belt cinched the dress to your waist. “Here.” Abigal slips the necklace over your head.

“Thank you,” you grin.

*

You meet Steve in what looks to be a dining room. You two are the only people at the large table. He smiles at you and stands up, pulling out the seat next to him for you to sit, “You look lovely.”

“I feel… out of place,” you admit with a blush.

He laughs softly, “I can only imagine.” Steve takes a deep breath, “Mother and Father wanted us to… talk about anything really.”

“Okay,” you nod slowly.

“I wanted to know more about you,” Steve says softly, smiling widely. “Like what do you like to do for fun.”

You chuckle and shake your head, “There isn’t much to do back home, but I suppose I can say reading. I enjoy doing that.”

“You like reading?”

“I love it,” you sigh softly. “I can just shut down and relax, lose myself to the words on the pages.” You tilt your head and grin, “What about you?”

“I like… training with my best friend, Bucky. We do everything and anything together.” Steve chuckles and looks down at his hands, “We get into so much trouble together.”

“Who is he?”

“Uh, one of the knights actually. You’ll meet him eventually.”

Humming, you nod and grin. “I look forward to it.”

“There’s something that I…” Steve hesitates, he looks down and frowns, “I wanted to ask you.”

You lean forward and smile, “Then you should ask me.”

He looks up to smile brightly at you before clearing his throat, “I… was wondering if you’d let me court you.”

“Court me?” You repeat, your brows come together slightly. “Why would you want to? We’re getting married anyway.”

“True,” he agrees, a smile playing on his lips. “But I still want to… fall in love with you the right way. Even before my mother and father made their decision I considered breaking the rules, just so that I can see you.”

“For me?” You bring your hands to your chest and stare at him wide-eyed.

“You have your priorities set, I don’t want a girl that worships me because of what I am. I want someone who will love for who I am. I want you because I know that you’ll be honest, you’re strong, and you’re smart.” Steve laughs softly and runs his hands through this hair, “I know it might seem strange, I understand if you don’t feel the same but… I just want to look at you on our wedding day and not see you as a stranger with a kind face.”

“Alright.” You grin and nod your head. “I’d like that.”

“Okay,” Steve grins, his eyes soft. He stands up and holds his hand out, “Come with me.”

*

You and Steve take a month to just get to learn about each other. You find that he’s even kinder than you thought but he’s also brave, strong, and sometimes hardheaded when it comes to his morals. But they are the best morals, he doesn’t blind himself to the truth. Steve is respectful with your boundaries, he doesn’t push himself or his thoughts on you and instead lets you take your time.

He goes with you to see Benjamin and Stewart, and all the other people that you took care of. You go with him to tournaments and to visit the soldiers that are currently training by his side. You won’t tell him but you quite enjoy the sight of him throwing grown men away like it’s nothing. Your favorite spot to spend time together is in the castle garden though; you two would pack something to eat and spend the whole day there. You would read to him while sitting in between his legs and leaning against his chest, and when you got tired of reading or a headache he would take up where you left off while you lean your head against his chest, smiling widely with rosy tinted cheeks. Sometimes he would bring out some paper and pencils, sketching you as his masterpiece.

It was only a few days before the wedding, you and he were once again in your spot in the garden sitting beneath one of the large trees. You played with a flower crown you were making while Steve breathed slowly and calmy. His arms were resting on the sides of your thighs while his thumbs run up and down, caressing you softly. Taking a deep breath you sit up and turn to face him, grinning and tilting your head at him.

He leans his head back against the bark and smiles back, “What is it?”

“We’re getting married soon,” you say softly, excitement bubbles inside you.

Steve chuckles and reaches up to caress your cheek, “You weren’t this excited when you found out once upon a time ago.”

“I didn’t know you then,” you tell him leaning into his touch. “I do now.”

“Can I kiss you?” He asks suddenly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You blink at him, your cheeks starting to burn with heat. “Huh?”

“Please?” Steve breathes and chuckles nervously, “I just… I’ve been wanting to-”

“Okay.”

His blue eyes widen slowly and he grins widely, “Really?”

Giggling you nod, “Please?”

Steve pulls you in closer until your faces are nearly touching, he reaches up with both hands to cup your cheeks and leans in to press his lips softly against yours. You sigh into the kiss and revel in the feeling of him. Steve subconsciously pulls you close until your pressed against him, your hands rest on his shoulders and they fist his shirt. The kiss starts to turn heated and he forces you apart, you’re both breathing heavily and flushed. He looks up at you with a shocked face before a laugh slips from his lips, then you both start giggling and laughing. It took a minute or two before you could calm down.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to kiss you.”

You giggle and reach up to brush a loose strand of hair from his eyes, “It was perfect, better than I could ever imagine.”

“I’m so glad it’s you,” Steve murmurs, looking at you softly. “Thank God it’s you. No ones more perfect.”


	31. A Happy Failed Surprise

**Pairings: Steve x Bucky x Reader (Polyamourous)**

* * *

“A baby?” I ask staring wide-eyed at the screen. Dr. Reiz chuckles and nods, taking the wand off of my stomach and I watch as the picture disappears. I swallow roughly and stutter out, “H-How?”

He looks at me with a raised brow, “Please don’t tell me I need to give you ‘the talk’.”

I laugh nervously and shake my head, “No, it’s not that it’s just…”

“Just,” he hands me a napkin and I take it thanking him.

“It’s just that we didn’t think we could have kids,” I tell him quietly. He sits down on his stool and hums, “You’re one of the Avengers aren’t you?” I nod slowly. 

“Is there anything in your history that led you to believe it impossible to conceive?” He asks. I shake my head, “No, not mine.“ 

"So the father?”

I nod. 

He hums and scratches his chin, “Could I take a guess at who it is?”

“You could try,” I grin shyly at him, “I don’t either.”

He leans back in shock and I blush at how it sounded, knowing that Dr. Reiz is an open-minded man I admit to him, “I’m in a polyamorous relationship." 

His brows raise in shock but that’s the only real reaction I got from him, "Oh really?”

I nod, “Yes.”

I look down at the pictures he had handed me and sigh softly, “I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” He inquires leaning forward. 

Puffing my cheeks out I answer, “They thought that they were sterile, we talked about adoption but they really wanted to have their own kids so it was a thought needing to be warmed up to. I don’t know how well this pregnancy will go. I don’t want them to be hurt if I tell them and it turns out something happened.”

Dr. Reiz pauses, “Well, from what I’ve seen today this pregnancy is very healthy so far. But if you are really worried about it you only have about two weeks left until your first trimester is over, most couples are out of the woods by then.”

I look at him confused, Dr. Reiz explains further, “Why don’t you just wait until then? You could make it a real surprise for them.” He smiles softly and pats my knee gently before standing up, “I’ll leave you to think about it, just discard the gown and then check out.”

“Thank you,” I watch as he leaves, he nods once as he does. Then I was alone, my chest aches as I think about keeping this a secret but excitement also floods my chest. 

I’m sure once they find out they’ll be ecstatic.

***

I step out of the doctor’s office and into the warm summer air, inhaling the fresh air deeply. I hesitate as I start walking, I wasn’t far from the tower but instead of heading back I walk in the opposite direction towards a cafe. 

I pull my phone out and dial in Natalia’s number, she answers immediately, “Yeah?”

“Can you meet me at Pasty Cafe?”

“Is everything alright?” Alarm laced her voice and I hear her shuffle. 

“It’s fine,” I reassure, “I just need your help with something.”

“I’ll be right there." 

I end the call and continue heading in the direction of the cafe.

***

It came to no surprise to me when I see that Nat had somehow managed to beat me to the cafe, already seated outside and sipping on a cup of what I assume is coffee. 

I take the seat in front of her and grin nervously. "Hey,” I say. She sets the cup down and smiles back, “What’s up?”

“Um,” I look down and pull my small purse into my lap, taking the pictures out and sliding them over to her. She raises her brow as she picks them up, the only indication of surprise was the twitch of her lip and the slight widening of her eyes as she looks up at me, “A baby?”

I nod, “Uh-huh.”

She points down at my stomach, “In there?”

I grin weakly and nod again. She frowns and her brows furrow, my stomach lurches in fear of a negative response but instead, she only asks, “How?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, “I always thought that the boys were sterile.”

“Aren’t they?" 

Sighing I purse my lips, "I mean, it’s not like we _haven’t_ talked about kids. But, I mean, it’s a touchy subject for them. They want to have kids of their own and were just warming up to the idea of adoption, I don’t know.”

Natasha sighs and looks down into her cup, “I’m sure Banner and Tony can figure this out.”

“Actually,” she looks up with raised brows, “I know that it’s either Steve or Buckys, but that doesn’t matter. I need you to keep it a secret for just two weeks. Maybe three.”

“A secret?" 

"Just until I am out of the first trimester, Dr. Reiz told me that my pregnancy is healthy so far and that if I make it to the second trimester I shouldn’t have a problem." 

She hums and nods slowly, "Alright, I can keep it a secret." 

I exhale and relax, giving her a thankful smile, "You’re the best.” Nat chuckles into her cup as she takes another sip, a slight twinkle in her eye. 

We sit in silence for a moment before I break it by saying, “I want to surprise them.”

Natasha tilts her head in interest and leans forward, “Yeah?”

I grin at her and nod, “Yeah.”

“And what do you have planned?”

***

Natasha gave me a ride back to the tower where we parted ways as we each made it to our lofts, mine was with Steve so I was one level above her. 

When the elevator opens I’m greeted with the welcome and happy sight of my boys cuddling together on the sofa. Bucky laid on Steve’s chest while Steve played with his hair. Playing on the television was the documentary about the penguins. I chuckle softly and that grabs their attention, Steve tilts his head up to see me and smiles widely, “Hey babe, where were you?" 

I hesitate before I answer, "I was at the doctor’s." 

Bucky looks up and they share a concerned expression, "Is everything alright?”

I nod and wave off their concerns, “Oh, yeah. Just…ya know, lady things." 

They hum and murmur quietly to themselves before Steve looks back up at me, "Everything checks out alright?”

I laugh softly and nod and I shed off the light coat I had on, “Yeah, just fine but I’m going to head into the shower. It was hot today.”

“Okay,” they mumble in unison, returning their attention to the T.V. I walk past them and into our shared room. I close the door softly behind me and sigh out a breath of relief that they had decided not to follow me. 

Tossing my purse onto the bed I start grabbing clothes, sneaking Steve’s shirt and Bucky’s gym shorts. I brush past the bed, pausing when I see the pictures had fallen out of the purse when I had tossed it onto the bed. I exhale sharply and grab it quickly, looking around the room for a place to hide them. 

I decide on my jewelry box, there was a little, hidden compartment at the bottom that hopefully, the boys didn’t know about. 

I take a quick shower but dress slowly, my eyes lingering on my stomach every time I look at it. When my shirt had been tugged on I lifted it to better see my stomach; I had gone to the doctors when I was getting stomach cramps my period was becoming irregular. It was still normal sized, there weren’t any physical signs of the baby yet and hopefully, it stayed that way long enough for me to keep it a secret. 

I step back out into the living room and smile when I see they haven’t moved yet, Bucky had even managed to doze off. I greet Steve quietly and slip between their legs, putting Buckys over my lap. He grunts quietly but relaxes soon after. 

Steve’s eyes hover over me before quietly he whispers, “Are you alright?”

I smile reassuringly and nod, “Of course." 

He nods back before turning back to the T.V, I sit back and sigh softly. 

***

**One Week and Three Days Later:**

**_Bucky’s POV_ **

I watch Y/n silently, she was sitting in the recliner fiddling with her phone and messaging someone. Steve was in the kitchen cooking but when I glance over I see him watching her too, a similar frown as mine set on his face. 

I get up and walk over to him, leaning against the counter. He stops what he’s doing and stands next to me, we watch Y/n together. "She’s been acting weird.” I look at Steve, my brows raised when I realize that he’s been thinking the same thing. “You’ve noticed too?”

Steve nods crossing his arms as he continues staring, “Yeah, she’s hiding something." 

It wasn’t a question, he and I both know this. But, we don’t know what. Y/n is just as skilled as us, some might even say she’s better. I exhale slowly and lean towards him, bumping his shoulder with mine. "Who do you think she’s talking to?”

Steve shrugs and looks at me with the corners of his mouth tilted down, “There’s no harm in askin’.” I nod and step forward, leaning instead on the island counter, “Hey Y/n.”

She jumps slightly and looks back at us, turning her head sharply, “Yeah?”

I nod to her phone, “Who is that?”

She pauses, looking down at it silently. Her answer comes slowly, “It’s Natasha.”

I raise a brow, I hadn’t realized they were friends. Associates yes, friends no. “Really?” She senses my own hesitation to believe her and nods quickly, “Yeah, her and I have been getting along a lot better lately.”

Steve hums and turns to the stove, “That’s good.”

I watch as Y/n nods slowly, her phone chimes again and instead of answering it she dismisses it and shuts off her phone. I clench my jaw and look away. Steve glances at me from the side with an unsure frown but I just shake my head and sigh.

***

**Steve’s POV**

It was early, too early. Y/n’s alarm was going off on her phone but she had somehow buried herself in between us and beneath the pillows. Groaning I lean over her and take the phone from the bedside table on the opposite side of me, Bucky could sleep through about anything. 

Bleary-eyed I blink and struggle to focus my eyes on the phone, I hit the dismiss button and pause when I see what the alarm is for, _Go See Reiz._ I look down at her, sleeping silently before clenching my jaw and biting my tongue. 

I push her awake and hand her the phone, “You had an alarm set.”

She blinks slowly before nodding and sitting up, continuing to blink as she tries waking herself up. I lay back down even though I’m wide awake and watch as she scoots off the bed and towards the closet, “Thank you, Baby.”

I hum in acknowledgment and turn towards Bucky, pressing my nose into his back. He moves slightly and I hear him sigh, he’s awake too. We wait until she’s in the bathroom and we hear the shower start. 

Bucky sits up and I move back and do the same. We look at each other and I know that he saw the alarm’s title. “Who is Riez?” He asks softly. 

I shake my head, “I don’t know.”

“Is she cheating?" 

I pause, the thought sends a sharp pain through my chest. I sigh and shake my head, "I don’t know.” We lay back down and sigh quietly, Bucky moves over and presses his nose into the crook of my neck, his breath fanning over my skin lightly. 

The water shuts off and shortly after she steps out looking bright-eyed. She walks over and presses soft kisses to both Bucky and I’s lips before stepping out of the room and out the door. I feel Bucky swallow roughly and look down to see him pale and his eyes watery. 

“We don’t know for sure,” I tell him, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead, “we might be wrong.”

He nods and for a moment we lay there but then he gets up and angrily walks over to the closet. I sit up and watch him worriedly, “Bucky?”

“I’m following her,” he says while shoving his leg into a pant leg. I pause before nodding and standing up along with him. He tosses me clothes and I throw them on. 

He turns to nod at me and I nod back, “Let’s go.”

***

**Y/n’s POV**

I laugh lightly at Dr. Reiz’s joke, walking along with him as he takes me outside. “Thank you, you didn’t have to walk me out.” I push up on my tip-toes to give him a thankful kiss on the cheek.

He waves me off, “Nonsense, I don’t m-”

“You fucking bastard!” I was pulled back and I watch in horror as Steve punches my doctor. “Steve!” I exclaim rushing forward to pull him away but Bucky keeps a tight grip on my arm, his eyes not leaving Steve and Reiz for a second. 

He turns me around and holds onto my arms with both hands, “This is who you’ve been sneaking around with?”

I stare in confused horror at the accusation, finally managing to pull away, “No!”

“Don’t lie,” he growls. 

I push him away and turn to grab Steve tugging him along with, once there was enough space Dr. Reiz rushes away and I look at him apologetically and mouth the words ‘I’m sorry’. He holds his hand up in dismissal and gives me a weak smile. 

Steve growls and lunges forward but I hold on and pull back, “Don’t!" 

He turns back to face me, "What were you doing with him, hm?”

I clench my jaw, “He’s my doctor.”

Bucky scoffs, “Don’t see other woman kissing their _doctors._ " 

My nostrils flare in annoyance and I look around to see people staring wide-eyed at us. Fear was very present in their features. "Fine,” I spit, “You want to know what I’m doing here?”

They both nod quickly and continue staring at me. 

I look them both in the eyes, “I’m fucking pregnant.”

They pause, “What?”

I turn on my heel and start walking away towards the tower, both follow right behind. Bucky grunts from behind, “I don’t know what that has to do with us, we already know we can’t have kids.” I turn abruptly almost resulting in the boys running me over, “They never said it was impossible, they said it was unlikely. It’s yours you asses.”

I turn again and walk away, leaving them in my dust. The walk back was silent as I walk, anger still flooded my body at the spoiled surprise. 

When we get home Bucky and Steve stayed silent, I brush past them and walk straight into the room, pulling the ultrasound pictures out from the hidden compartment and shoving some on one of their hands and the other into the others. 

They stare silently down at them and I continue walking around, moving the dresser so that I could reach the gift baskets that I had hidden behind and tossing it at them, they catch it and I don’t wait to see their reactions. I storm into the bathroom and slam the door behind me, letting the tears fall silently once I was alone.

**Narrative POV**

Bucky and Steve stare silently down at the gift bag, both sigh and sit on the edge of the bed. Slowly pulling the small gifts out, there were matching onesies that said 'hello daddy’ on it. Bucky sighs softly and continues digging through the bag, pulling out a pacifier and staring at it sadly. 

Steve looks up at the bathroom door as he pulls out baby booties, he could hear her muffled crying from inside and swallows thickly looking over at Bucky who was still staring at the pacifier. 

“I think we may have just fucked up majorly,” he whispers to Steve who could only nod in response. 

Steve sets the stuff over to the side, his eyes lingering on the ultrasound pictures before he stands up and walks slowly to the door. He presses his forehead against it and softly asks, “Can I come in?”

They hear a pause in her crying and she sniffles, there was movement on the other side of the door and it opens slowly, Y/n stands in the crack. Her eyes were red and swollen and her nose was running, Steve steps back and looks at her pleadingly. 

Reluctantly Y/n steps out and wipes away her tears as she does, Bucky watches. His brows furrowed and a sad frown on his face, guilty. Steve looks down at his feet and exhales shakily, “I’m sorry." 

Bucky nods, "I’m sorry.”

Y/n watches the two of them, her arms crossed as she does, “It wasn’t okay." 

Both men shake their heads, "No.”

“You’re going to apologize to my doctor?”

Bucky and Steve look down quietly and nod. “Of course,” Steve says softly, “Do you think he’ll forgive us?”

Y/n sighs and crosses her arms, “I’m sure he already has, Dr. Reiz is a good man.”

“Dr…Reiz?” Bucky murmurs looking at Steve wide-eyed. Steve grimaces and groans into his hands, “Shit.”

**Y/N’s POV**

I watch the both of them with crossed arms, my heart still aching as I do. “Did you really think that I would cheat on you?" 

Bucky’s jaw clenches and his brows furrow together causing a crease to form in between them, "We…I…don’t know. We shouldn’t have.”

Steve walks over to the bed and picks up the ultrasound picture holding it in his hands and studying it, “You’re really pregnant?” I sigh and look down at my shirt, I had started wearing baggy shirts or their’s when my belly had started to show. I grab the hem of the shirt and pull it up, moving to the side so they could see; it was small and you could hardly see it but it was there. 

Bucky slides down to the floor and shuffles over to me, placing his hand on my stomach gently. “Hi,” he says softly to it. I laugh gently and place my hand over his, he looks up to smile weakly at me. 

Steve kneels down in front and kisses my stomach gently before looking up at me in confusion, “Are you sure…”

I roll my eyes playfully and nod, “I am.”

“But how,” he questions looking back down at it. 

“They never said it was impossible,” I repeat, “just unlikely.”

***

**Six Months Later:**

I laugh softly as I lean against my pillow, watching Bucky and Steve both fawn over the little child in the crip. “You can pick her up you know,” I say smiling. 

They both look up and shake their head quickly, both murmuring about her being too tiny. Natasha sneaks up next to me and sits on the edge of the bed, “A healthy baby girl whose name is…”

“Natalia Alia Barnes-Rogers,” I finish. 

She gapes at me slightly, “Alia?" 

I shrug and grin, "I loved your middle name, but I think it would have made her name a bit too long. So, I shortened it." 

She grins widely and places a gentle kiss on my cheek, "Thank you.”

“You have a beautiful name,” I tell her, “it fits her perfectly.”

We watch as both men continue melting at the sight of their daughter before she starts whimpering and they look up panicked, I look at Nat who nods understandingly and walks over. She picks little Natalia up and brings her over to me, the boys in tow. 

I cradle her in my arms and brush a gentle finger over her furrowed brow, “It’s alright.” I smile when she relaxes and snuggles into my arm, a soft coo leaving her lips. 

Steve sighs happily and Bucky does the same. Bucky looks up at me and leans forward, he presses a gentle kiss to my lips. When he moves back Steve does the same, “Thank you, Doll.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I smile down at our daughter, her nose crunching adorably as she wiggles, “Yeah, she is.”


	32. Take a Sick Day

**Pairings: Frat!boy!Stucky x Reader**

* * *

I mumble quietly under my breath as I work, chewing on my lip nervously. “What does this mean?” I growl, “I don’t understand! What does this mean?”

There was a knock on the door and while it may have sounded quiet to others, right now it was like cannons going off in my head. I grimace and stand up, walking over to the door and answering it, “What?”

Steve and Bucky raise their brows in shock at my aggression, Bucky turns to look at Steve in confusion before turning back to me. “Hey, Doll, where have you been?” I furrow my brows, “What do you mean?”

“There was a party tonight, you were supposed to come.”

I scrunch my nose, trying to remember and groaning when I do, “I’m sorry, I have a bunch of assignments that I need to do plus a test I have to study for-” Bucky pushes me back and steps into the room, tossing his jacket off and crossing his arms at me. “What?” I ask.

“Are you sick?”

I scoff, “No?”

Steve sighs as he walks in, shutting the door behind him, “You look sick.”

I glare at him, “I’m not.”

“Why are you flushed and sweating but wearing like twenty layers then?” Bucky asks with a raised brow.

I shoot him a look, “I don’t need your sass, James.”

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, biting his lip and walking past me and over to where I had been sitting. He plops down on my bed and starts picking up all the papers that I had, puffing his cheeks as he looks at all of them. “You’re overloaded, Y/n.”

I glare down at my feet, “I know.”

Steve takes my hand and pulls me over to the bed, sitting me down. He kneels down in front of me and I meet his gaze. “Doll…” I sigh and nod, “I’m sick.”

“How sick?” He asks, gently brushing a strand of hair from my face.

“I threw up twice before leaving for class, I had to leave in the middle of class once. I haven’t thrown up yet since being home but I’ve got a killer migraine.”

I feel Bucky sigh next to me and wrap an arm around my waist. “Poor thing, have you taken any medicine?”

“Ibuprofen?”

Bucky and Steve both groan and shake their head. “That’s not going to do shit!” Bucky exclaims. I wince at the loudness of his voice. He stands up and points at Steve, “Get her out of those clothes and into something cooler, I’m gonna go pick up some soup and _proper_ medicine.” Bucky grabs his jacket and walks out of the dorm room and Steve stands up from his kneeling position. “Come on,” he pulls me up with him and pulls off my sweatshirt. He snorts when he sees the hoodie I have it and unzips that.

“Babe,” Steve looks at me with a sideways grin, “what is this?”

“I’m cold,” I murmur.

He just chuckles and shakes his head, pulling the rest of my clothes off until all that’s left is my tank top and underwear. He hums softly as he works, finding me some sweats to where. Steve walks into the small bathroom and I hear water running. He comes back with a wet washcloth and presses it to my forehead, “Hold this there, let me clear off your bed.”

“I can do it, Steve.”

He ignores my protest and picks up all of my textbooks and papers, stacking them neatly on the desk next to my bed. He picks me up and I laugh lightly, “You’re too much.”

He chuckles and it vibrates through my chest when he does, “Just wait till Bucky gets here, he’s a hundred times worse. Should’ve seen him when we were younger.” Steve sets me down and pulls the duvet over me, “Just lay there, he’ll be here soon. I’m sure of it.”

I sigh, “I need to do my work though.”

Steve shakes his head, “Where’s your laptop?”

I point at the dresser and he grabs it. “What are you going to do?” I ask.

“I am emailing all of your professors and telling them you aren’t coming in for a few days.”

“Stevie, I literally can not afford that,” I say going to sit up. He pushes me back down gently and shushes me, “They’ll understand.”

Bucky walks in and looks at me and then at Steve in confusion, “What’s going on?”

“I’m emailing her professors and telling them she can’t come.” He answers as he types. Bucky nods and I groan, “I need to go to class.”

Bucky sits down on the edge of my bed, “You can’t work at your best when you’re at your worst, Doll. Let us help.”

I sigh begrudgingly, “Fine.”

Bucky chuckles and holds up to soup in a container, “Here.” I take it and smile softly at him, opening the container and taking a sip and sighing as the warmth of the soup fills my body. “It’s good,” I say smiling at him. He nods and smiles back, leaning forward and pressing a light kiss to my forehead. Frowning when he pulls away, “You’re hot, Baby.”

I hum in response and continue sipping the soup. He digs into his pockets and pulls out the medicine he must have bought. “This’ll help with your nausea and fever, take these.” Bucky hands me two pills and a water bottle that he pulls from nowhere. I thank him quietly and take the medicine, setting the water to the side.

“You guys are the best,” I sigh, finishing up the soup.

Steve and Bucky both grin happily and Steve sets my laptop to the side, “Alright, lie down.”

“Will you two lie down with me?” I ask.

Bucky chuckles and pushes me down onto my pillow, “Doll, there isn’t enough room for the three of us.” Pouting I cross my arms. Steve leans forward and whispers something into Bucky’s ear, he nods and smiles. “C'mere.” Steve picks me up, duvet and all and holds me in his arms. Bucky moves the pillows and nods at Steve who sits down against the wall, still holding me. He grabs the pillow and Bucky pulls me down so my head was laying in the crook of Steve’s arm and my legs were on Bucky. I get settled and Steve lays the washcloth back on my forehead.

“There, is that better?” Steve leans down pressing a kiss to my nose and I giggle nodding.

“Go to sleep, Baby,” Bucky whispers. 

“Hey Bucky,” Steve looks over at him. Bucky raises his brow, “Yeah?”

“What about the light?”

Bucky pauses and looks around before pulling off his jacket and balling it up. He aims carefully and throws it across the room, landing on the light switch. The room darkens and the only light in the room is the warm sun rays peeking through my blinds.

I sigh happily, letting my eyes flutter shut. Bucky rubs my legs and feet in a soothing way while Steve holds onto me tightly, his fingers running softly up and down my arm. “I suppose,” I hum, “I can take a sick day or two. As long as they’re just like this.”


	33. A Scare

**Pairings: Stucky x Reader**

* * *

****I groan from the toilet bowl as I empty out the rest of my stomach. Nat and Wanda stood behind me, one holding my hair back while the other rubbed my back soothingly. “Maybe we should call the boys,” Nat says softly.

I shake my head and sit up and away from the bowl, flushing the toilet. Wiping my mouth I say, “I don’t want to bug them.”

“I think they’d want to know that you have the flu,” Wanda says as she helps me stand up. Grunting I walk over to the sink and brush my teeth. Nat’s hand went up to my forehead, “You’re hot, Y/n.”

“I’m _fine_. I just need to get back to bed.”

The girls help me back onto the bed. “We’re staying with you,” Nat tells me. I hum and bury myself into the pillows. Wanda pulls the blanket up and you sigh. “How are the babies?” Nat asks lying down next to me. I hum and rub my belly, “I think they’re okay.”

***

I wake up, having no time to go to the bathroom I puke on the floor next to the bed. I was heaving and the girls were by my side immediately, “I think we should go to the hospital.”

I groan in response and Wanda runs to get help. Natasha shushes my weak cries and picks me up. She carries me out of the room where we meet Thor, “What is it, Lady Y/L/N?”

“She’s sick, Thor.”

“I got Bruce,” Wanda says breathlessly, having run.

“Let me,” Thor takes me from Natasha’s arms and I black out.

***

“Is she okay?”

“Are the babies?”

“She’s fine now, the babies were put into distress.” I hear Bruce’s voice, “The babies are okay right now but she needs to stay in bed.”

I groan, my brows furrowing. When I crack my eyes open I see both Bucky and Steve standing at the side of my bed. “Y/n!” They rush closer to me, “Are you alright? How do you feel?”

Both men were tugged back by the collars of their shirt, “She needs space.”

I inhale deeply and moan softly, “I’m hot.”

“You have a fever,” Bruce says stepping into the line of my sight, “it’s gone down but it’s still too high.”

“Where am I?” I ask disoriented. I look around and recognize the room to be mine and the boys. “You’re home, Baby.” I feel someone take my hand and hold it, I look up and smile when I see Bucky. He smiles back weakly and lays a soft kiss on my forehead. Steve does the same, “Why didn’t you call us sooner?”

I groan and turn my head to the side, “I didn’t want to bug you.”

I hear one of them laugh, “Babe, you are never a bother. We love you.”

“I love you too,” I say with a sigh. I scrunch my nose and Steve notices, “What’s wrong?”

“’M hungry,” I tell him.

“I’ll go make her some soup,” Bucky says letting go of my hand. Steve takes it and nods at him, “I’ll stay here.” Steve turns to look at Bruce, “Is there anything else?”

Bruce shakes his head, “No, just make sure she takes the medicine and stays in bed. She can only get up to use the bathroom and things like that.”

Steve nods and gives Bruce a thankful smile, “I owe you one.”

Bruce waves him off, “Nah, don’t worry about it. If you need me you know where to find me.” He leaves and then it was just us in the room. Steve sighs and looks down at me with a sad smile, “I wish you called us, we would have taken care of you.”

“I know,” I sigh and look down. Steve pulls my chin up and smiles, “I’m glad you’re okay, thankful. I love you and these babies so, so much.”

“We love you too.”

He runs his thumb over my skin and sighs, “You’re warm. I’m gonna get you a washcloth, alright?”

I nod and Steve walks into our bathroom. While he’s in there Bucky comes back with some soup. I raise a brow and chuckle, “That was fast.” He grins, “It’s not much, just heated up some chicken broth for you. I got crackers too.” He sets it on the table next to the bed and helps me up carefully, sitting my up against some pillows.

“I made sure to cool it off,” he tells me while handing me the bowl.

“Thank you, Daddy Buck.”

He sits on the edge of the bed and smiles, “Of course.” His brows come together and he looks down at his hands that were clasped and together tightly, his fingers fidgeting. “What is it, Bucky?” I ask after taking a sip of the soup.

“While we were coming back, I couldn’t help but think of the worst. I thought that maybe Stevie and I had lost the babies, or you.” He says this all softly and if we weren’t sitting as close as we were I doubt I would have heard him. His nose scrunches and his jaw clenches tightly. I set my bowl over to the side and open my arms wide, “Come here, love.”

He looks up at with his puppy dog eyes full of fear and sadness and it makes me whimper. He moves up the bed and settles into my side, burrowing his face into my neck and groaning softly. I feel his hot, wet tears fall onto my skin and coo softly, “Oh, Bucky.” My fingers run through his hair as I try soothing him.

Steve was standing in the bathrooms door frame silently and I catch him in the corner of my eye. When he sees that I’ve seen him he steps forward, crawling up the bed from the other side. He reaches over and pets Bucky’s hair softly, the only thing betraying how he really feels is his eyes. Just as sad and scared as Bucky’s were.

“I’m alright now,” I reassure them, “the babies are okay. We’re okay.”

“That’s not going to stop us from making sure you’re okay. Considered yourself pampered, Doll.” Steve grins at I roll my eyes, returning the grin. He brings the cloth he had wet down up to my forehead and holds it there. Carefully I lay back, Bucky moves with me and cuddles into my side. “You need to finish your soup,” he mumbles into your skin.

“I’ll finish it later,” I tell him.

Bucky pulls away from me ignoring my protests and I pout. He smiles and wipes his cheeks, a slight blush on his skin. Steve reaches over to grab Bucky’s hand and pulls him over to where he was lying. I grab my soup and finish it like requested.

***

For the next few weeks, the boys took care of me, doing _everything_ for me. I was cuddled and loved on. I was stuck in bed so they did their best to entertain me and make sure that I didn’t get sick of boredom.

They went so far as to conduct the worst rendition of how I met each of the boys. And since I met them separately, each one took a turn to be me.

“Oh you’re so handsome and strong,” Bucky says in a high pitched voice, twirling his hair. I snort, “I do not sound like that!”

He hushes me, “This is play! You gotta be quiet, critique us after!”

Steve chuckles and grins, “Well, thank you.”

“You were a blabbering, tomato-faced mess you liar.” I grin at them. Steve and Bucky both lose their composure and start laughing. I join them and gesture at them, “Look at you two, you look ridiculous!”

Steve had donned on his old Captain America suit, the one that he wore during the war, and Bucky had put on one of my dresses. It looked like a shirt on him but that didn’t stop him from wearing just that and a wig replicating my hair.

When it was Steve’s turn to play me, dare I say, he looked even more ridiculous. Instead of a dress, he wore one of my skirts and a bikini top. We had met at the beach after all. Same wig too.

They join me on the bed when there was a knock on the door. We all pause in our laughter and look at each other with wide eyes. Bucky pauses before shrugging and saying, “Come in!”

Bruce and Natasha both walk in and pause at the door as they take in our appearances. Bucky slowly pulls off the wig and looks down at with pursed lips before looking at them, “Yes?”

Bruce opens his mouth but nothing comes out, he turns to Natasha for some help and she only snorts. They both put their hands on their hips and stare at us in confusion. I point at them and make a gesture that I wasn’t involved. Steve stands up and grins at them, “Yeah?”

Finally, Natasha says something, “Did we walk into some kind of roleplay.”

I snort and Bucky scoffs. Steve shakes his head and looks down at his feet. Bruce clears his throat and steps forward, “After this last check up with Y/n and the babies, I think it’s safe to say that she is off bed rest and can now resume her life outside of this room.”

“Thank god!” I exclaim, “I can’t take one more of these plays.”

“Hey!” Both boys pout at me and I scoff, gesturing to them, “Can you blame me? You have _awful_ acting skills.”

“In an alternate world, I’m sure we make the best actors,” Bucky says with a smirk.

“Well, that’s not here,” I tell him as I push myself over to the bed, “you two are terrible.” I stand up and stretch, “Thank you, Bruce.”

He chuckles and nods, “It’s no problem to me, I think the trip was worth it.” He and Nat both walk out before she shuts the door she points at the three of us and mouths, “I want to see this.”

Rolling my eyes I look at the boys with my arms crossed and shake my head, “Are you two pleased with yourself?”

Bucky tosses the wig up in the air and catches it, “Do you think we could use this later?”

“For what?” I ask puzzled.

He ignores my question and just hums. Steve was looking at himself in the mirror with a pained expression, “I really wore this?”

I look him up and down before shrugging, “We all have our skeletons.”

Bucky snorts, “This one came back and bit you in the _ass_.”

“It doesn’t even have real pants,” he pulls at the shorts he was wearing over the pant legs underneath them, “what are these?!”

Bucky and I shake our head, Bucky turns to look at me and grins, “So, you’re off bed rest now?”

“That’s what he said,” I sigh, already knowing where this conversation was going.“

"So, sex is an option now isn’t it?” He crawls over to where I was standing but I push him away. “Later,” I promise, “get out of that outfit this instant.”


	34. Rescue

**Pairings: Cop!Bucky x Reader x Cop!Steve  
**

* * *

It had happened so quickly. One second I was holding my youngest, Adam while Jack played at my feet and I was making friendly talk with the bank teller behind the counter when someone shoots up into the air. 

The room became thick with fear as everyone began scrambling for cover. “Call the police,” I whisper as I scoop up Jack into my arms. The teller nod, her owl eyes widening further as she reaches down to press the button. I back away from her and shush both boys when they start to whimper and crouch down by a table. “Get underneath mommy,” I say and help them curl up with one another before wrapping my own body around them.

“Alright,” I hear, “I’m sure that police have already been notified so we need to hurry it up.”

“On it,” another responds. 

I see feet walk past and hold my breath. He walks up to the teller I had been at and growls at her, “Money, now.” I hear her exhale shakily, “Y-Yes, sir.”

“Hurry!”

It was dead silent except for the sniffles of a few civilians. That’s when I hear sirens and breathe a breath of relief. The robbers were not as enthused. The man I assume to be the leader curses out, “Shit, the police are fucking here." 

"Alright, I’ve got it. Let’s get out of here.”

“We can’t, they’ve got us fucking surrounded.” He growls. I watch as he paces the floor and I press my lips together. _Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t_. “Fuck it,” the one says, “take a hostage.” The blood in my veins chills as I watch his feet walk closer to me. “No,” I whisper and wrap myself tighter around my babies.

He kicks at my leg, “Get up.”

“No.”

I’m yanked up, “I wasn’t asking-” He cuts off before groaning, “This one’s got kids.”

The leader groans out, he gestures for the others, “Grab them.”

“No,” I whimper, “please don’t.”

My pleas are ignored as the other two large bodies walk over to them and pick them up. Adam and Jack scream, kicking to free themselves. “Please,” I sniffle, “let them go.” My boys reach out to me while crying out and I try fighting the man’s hold on me. “Hold still,” he growls and presses the gun to my temple, “I don’t want to have to shoot you but I will.”

I shut my mouth and stare helplessly as they walk away and I’m taken along with them. The group were all holding on tightly to bags filled with money and then me and the children as we walked out into the daylight. I was forced to watch as my husbands stare in horror once they recognized us. 

“Drop your guns,” Fury shouts to the robbers. The leader scoffs, “You really think we’re going to do that?”

“Let the kids go then, at least do that.”

He scoffs again, “That’s not going to happen.”

“I just want you to know, the woman you’re keeping hostage and the kids? These here officers,” Fury gestures to Steve and Bucky, Sam and Nat, “they are family to them and if you harm them, you are going to regret it.”

Bucky and Steve stand up from behind their barricade, jaws locked and murder in their eyes. “Let them go,” Steve calls out, “and the worst that will happen to you is going to jail.”

I can feel the man’s grip on my loosen. He turns to look at the leader, “M-Maybe we should.”

“Shut up, they aren’t going to do anything to us.”

While his grip was loosened I buck myself free and grab his gun at the same time. I push him down to the ground and then point the gun at the leader. “Bitch,” he growls, “I’ve still got your kids.”

I turn to glance over my shoulder. They weren’t pressing a weapon to them and seemed in no extreme danger. “Let them go and I will stay." 

"There’s no way we’re going to them." 

"Natasha and Bucky, they will come to us,” I say. I had to fight the grin that threatened its way onto my face as I say this. Bucky and Natasha are the last people they want to come. “Fine,” he grunts, “but no guns.”

I turn to look at the two, “Do you hear that? No guns.”

Nat’s lips were pressed together and she nods, Bucky glowers at the leader and nods too. They drop their weapons and walk forward slowly, I keep my aim steady on the leader and he keeps his on me. “Hey Jack, hey Adam,” Bucky smiles softly as he reaches out for his sons. They both whimper and smile tearfully as they’re handed to him and he turns to give them to Nat. She takes them and walks briskly back to the cars but he stays watching as she leaves. 

“Now you,” the leader growls.

“There,” he sighs, “is no chance in hell that is happening.” Bucky turns and punches on in the throat before blocking the punch from the other and kicking him down into the dirt. When the one who had been punched in the throat tries standing up Bucky uses his knee to hit them in the face and knock them back down. Steve rushes forward while the leader is distracted and knocks the gun out of his hands before pinning his arm behind his back and pushing him to the ground.

“Go to Nat, Y/n,” he says to me. 

I nod and run over to where she stood and grab my boys and embrace them tightly. When I can finally let them go I grab Nat and hug her too. “Are you okay,” she asks while holding me tightly.

“It was just supposed to be a stop at the bank,” I whisper.

“I know sweetie, I know.” She holds me tighter and I sniffle. Bucky and Steve put the men in handcuffs before they rush over to me and pull me and the boys into a hug. “Are you alright?” Bucky asks, “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” I reassure.

Steve pulls my face to him and examines me, “They didn’t hurt you at all?" 

I shake my head, "No. I’m okay.”

“Boys,” Fury walks up to us, “why don’t you three head home? We’ve got this handled.” Steve and Bucky nod and I smile thankfully at him. Fury nods at me before walking away and Nat kisses Adam and Jack’s cheeks before following him. 

I turn to Bucky and Steve and huff out a tired laugh, “Let’s go home, please?”

*******

Bucky and Steve took care of the boys while I took a shower, they made them dinner and watched tv with them. I must have been in the shower for a while because eventually, Steve came in to check on me, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I breathe, just tired.

He leans on the wall outside of the shower curtain, “Do you want to talk about anything.”

“No, Stevie.”

“Well, Bucky’s getting the boys in bed. Are you hungry yet?”

“No.”

“You haven’t eaten anything yet.”

“I know,” I sigh and step underneath the spray of the water, letting it run over my face.

“Baby,” Bucky was the bathroom now, “talk to us.”

I exhale and furrow my brows, “Can we just…lie down, in bed? No talking, just us.” They pause before both reaching into the shower. Steve turns off the water and helps me step out while Bucky wraps the towel around my body. I’m led into our bedroom and sat on our bed, “Do you want clothes?”

I pause in my answer before saying, “No.”

They both nod with understanding before removing their own shirts and pants. We crawl up and underneath the covers. I am sandwiched between them. I’m wrapped up and held closely. 

“I love you,” I say softly. 

Bucky and Steve both press kisses onto my skin, “We love you too.”


	35. Rescue pt. 2

**Pairings: Biker!Stucky x Reader**

* * *

It felt like a tsunami, both Bucky and Steve felt as if their entire being was being flooded and they were drowning. Guilt strangled them, making it impossible to breathe. She had begged them not to go, told them that she had a feeling. 

“Something is going to happen, please don’t leave.”

They _laughed_ , they had the audacity to laugh at this one they called their love. Chuckled and patted her on her head before hopping on their bikes and riding off. 

“Don’t worry,” Bucky had said with a grin, “we’ll be back before you know it.”

Steve had kissed her and told her that they’d be back in a week, “I promise, nothing is going to happen.”

Now they were miles away, one man staring blankly into the air while the other was nearly having a breakdown. “W-We have to get back, Steve,” Bucky stutters out, “we have to go. Now.” Bucky rushes to the blond who had fallen onto the ground, his phone hanging limply from his hand. “Come on,” Bucky grunts while pulling him up. But he pauses, there’s no way Steve’s going to be able to ride. 

He clenches his jaw before helping Steve back down and crouching in front of him. He holds Steve by the chin and pulls it up so they met eye-to-eye. “Steve, I need you to snap out of it. Right now. We have to go to Y/n. She needs us.”

Steve’s eyes slowly focus, they were still dull and glazed but he was there. “This… this is my fault,” he murmurs. 

Bucky was quick to shake his head, “No, no. It’s not, it’s not. Steve, don’t do that.”

“She said… she said that something was going to happen. And when is she ever wrong? I should have known, I should have listened.”

Bucky lets out a strangled moan as he struggles with Steve. His entire being was ice cold and numb, but Steve felt hot to the touch. He was flushed and trembling, his blue eyes were still glazed but focused more as time passed. 

“Come on,” Bucky whispers encouragingly, “let’s go." 

Steve nods slowly and stands up, Bucky hurries to pick up all the things that Steve had dropped and walked him to the bike. "Please don’t wreck,” Bucky begs while watching Steve climb up onto his own bike then he climbs onto his own. 

The ride was over twelve hours and there weren’t any unnecessary breaks, Steve drove on auto-pilot the entire time while Bucky was wracked with anxiety.

***

When the boys rush into her hospital room they choke on the air they had taken in so sharply. Y/n lie unconscious, nearly unrecognizable. A tube was in her mouth and there were wires and tubes attached everywhere. 

The officer who was on her case sighs at the sight. “She was mugged, two people. A man and a woman. They’re arrested, her things have been recovered.”

Steve blinks rapidly, trying to fight the tears that burned their presence in the back of his eyes. Bucky was the silent one this time. Steve clears his throat and swallows the knot that was stuck in his throat, “What’s… what’s wrong with her?”

The doctor who stood next to the officer sighs and gives him a side glance before stepping forward and standing next to Y/n. He uses his finger to gesture, “She was beaten pretty badly, a fractured skull and broken jaw. She lost a few of her back teeth. She has cracked ribs but they aren’t broken. She _had_ internal hemorrhage but we’ve managed to fix it.” Bucky felt his hearts break with every new thing the doctor was telling them. Steve felt lightheaded and held onto Bucky’s arm tightly while they listened. “She has one laceration, it’s on her arm here,” the doctor twists her arm to show the underside, “it’s stitched up and healing nicely already.”

“Why is she still asleep?”

The doctor pauses before finally saying, “When they used a pipe to hit her head, it caused some damage to her brain. As of right now, we have no idea the severity of it or if she can heal from it. It’s a waiting game, I’m sorry.”

“Then we’ll wait,” Bucky says firmly, “I know Y/n, she can beat anything.”

***

Six and a half months later.

***

I crack my eyes open, it was hard. It felt like my eyes were glued shut. But when I manage I shut them almost immediately, it’s too bright. Why is it too bright? What time is it? 

Alarm shoots through me and I snap my eyes open, I try to shoot up but something’s holding me down. Am I late for work, what time is it? I try to open my mouth to speak but I choke instead. Pain shoots through my entire being and I make a weak noise that sounds similar to the undead. 

Finally, I hear it, a voice, no, voices. 

“Baby, lie back down, okay? Please lie back down.”

Bucky? 

“I’m going to get the nurse.”

Steve? 

My eyes finally focus and I can see past the bright, white blur. Bucky was standing over me his hair like a halo around his face. His eyes were bright and filled with concern. I relax and fall back onto the thin, lumpy pillow. 

I open my mouth to speak but choke again. Bucky shakes his head, “Baby, stop. Just wait a moment, okay?” His hands were on either side of my shoulders and rubbing them soothingly. “I’m so happy to see you awake.”

How long have I been asleep? 

He seems to sense the question and says softly, “It’s been half a year.”

Then there’s another person in the room, no two more people. “How is she?” Steve sounds breathless. 

“Confused,” Bucky answers.

“Let me take out the tube,” a woman says softly. She talks me through it and pulls it out, I swear if I had anything in my stomach I’d have thrown it up.

I open my mouth to speak and it comes out not sounding at all like me. Thick and broken, croaky. 

“What happened?”

Bucky and Steve both glance at each other in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Why am I here?”

“You don’t remember?” Steve says stepping forward and taking my hand. Bucky does the same on my other side, “What do you remember?”

I furrow my brows as I think back, I had come home from work. Steve and Bucky were play fighting when I got back, it got too rough. I look back up at them, “Remember when you two accidentally fell on my glass table after getting too rough while goofing around?”

Their eyes widen and Steve chokes, “What? That was so long ago! That was before-”

“We got engaged,” Bucky finishes, he was looking at me liked a kicked puppy. 

“We’re engaged?”

“We’re married.”

***

Y/n walks into the new home slowly, Steve and Bucky tread carefully behind her. They watched her with a close eye. She sets down the small bag she was carrying and walks into the middle of the living room. 

She turns to look at the boys in confusion, “We live here?”

Both get nervous. “Is something wrong with it?” Steve asks. She shakes her head, “No… it’s just… so big.”

Bucky chuckles, “It was your idea, you wanted a place for a family.”

“That sounds like me,” she jokes half-heartedly.

“Do you like it?” He asks. 

Y/n nods as she looks around, “Yeah, it feels… right.”

Suddenly a memory flashes in Y/n’s mind. _Decoration. Blue paint. Laughing too much, it hurts. Red paint from the bedroom. A battle._ Curiously Y/n follows her memory upstairs where she stops in the hallway, the walls covered in blue and red speckles and splatters. She reaches up to run her hand along them and smiles. _An empty threat that only received playful teasing. More laughter. Wet hair. Purple bodies._

“Oh,” she whispers.

“What is it?” Bucky asks from the stairs. Steve stood next to him, a confused smile playing on his lips. 

“I think I remember.”


	36. Remembering

**Pairings: Poly Stucky x Reader**

* * *

The boys had given Y/n her space, let her process all of the new things that come to her every day. Albeit they were small things. Y/n rarely remembered anything large, or an entire memory at once. Instead, it was like a movie playing in slow motion, showing itself bits at a time. It was good though, every week was another completed memory, or maybe even more. 

It’s been nearly a year, Y/n had remembered almost everything. Sure, there were holes in them but slowly they were being filled and she had no doubt she’d remember eventually. 

She never thought she’d have to think about the accident again. She knew what happened, the boys had apologized profusely for leaving her. She knew that they had left even after she’d begged them to and seeing as she had no memory to tie with it, no feeling, she got over it quickly and forgave them. But here she was, tears brimming her eyes and her body hot with betrayal and embarrassment. 

It came to her in a nightmare, how she’d begged, _begged_ for them not to leave. How her gut told her to make them stay. They laughed her off. And she knows that they feel terrible, it’s going to haunt Steve and Bucky for the rest of their lives. 

But, Y/n’s forced to go through these feelings all over again and it’s unbearable. 

She stifles a sob with her hand and wraps an arm around her waist, trying to keep herself from moving the large bed. There was a halt in the snores before they resume and she turns to look at Steve and Bucky who were cuddled together. Moving away from their sleeping bodies she slips from the bed and heads for the bathroom. 

Y/n shuts the door quietly and locks it, standing in front of the mirror and turning the faucet on to wet her face down with icy cold water. She takes a deep breath and wipes her runny nose with her arm, catching the nasty scar in her sight when she does. Y/n pulls her arm down to stare at the scare mournfully, running a finger over the jagged and crooked scar. Now she actually remembers how it happened. 

_Y/n wraps her jacket tightly around her frame as she eyes the area around her nervously. Something she’d been doing since the boys left. She catches sight of two people, it looks like a couple, walking together in her direction. Y/n’s tempted to walk back into the office building, she even tries but the door was locked behind her._ _She curses quietly under her breath and huffs._

_Taking a deep breath she turns and looks back at the couple before turning onto the sidewalk, she walks briskly and keeps herself aware that she isn’t alone._

_The sound of the other couple’s walking fades and she turns to look over her shoulder, frowning when she sees that they’ve disappeared. Breathing a sigh of relief, Y/n faces forward and continues walking home._

_It’d been almost ten minutes, she was almost home when she was tugged into an alley. Her scream was cut short when she was pushed against the brick wall and held down while someone else was pulling her purse off her, eventually tearing the strap. She opens her mouth to scream again but a hand wraps around her mouth._

_They didn’t speak, the only sounds there were was Y/n’s struggling and muffled screaming and the quickened breathing of her assaulters. She tries kicking them and get’s thrown down onto the ground in response. A foot flew into her ribs and she groans out, another person was hitting her in her face and stops only to pick her up and throw her into a pile of trash. She lands on shards of broken glass that pierces the skin on her arm. She gasps and screams for help right before something hard smashes into her skull, silencing her cries._

Y/n gasps as she comes back, blinking rapidly as she focuses on where she is. It’s disorienting, she didn’t even hear the sound of her husbands beating on the door and begging her to let them come in. 

“Baby?” Steve’s voice was filled with alarm, “Can you hear me? Are you alright?”

Bucky’s voice followed, “Say something Doll, I need to know you’re okay.”

Y/n stares at her reflection, her face is streaked with tears and her lips are raw and swollen from her chewing roughly on them. She feels pain in her knuckles and looks down confused to see that she was gripping the sink with all of her strength. She sniffs and groans softly as she peels her fingers off of the porcelain and shakily turns on the water, letting the cool water wash over her sore hands. 

“Baby, please open the door.”

She turns to stare blankly at the door, almost confusedly. Slowly she makes her way to the door and unlocks it. The boys let her open the door slowly and step out of the way on her own. 

The crowd her, both touching her and talking to her gently. She blinks hazily at them and the boys move her over so that she could sit down on the toilet. They both crouched down in front of her and Steve cups her cheek, “Honey, what is it.”

Y/n turns to look at him, her brows come together and she frowns slightly, “I… I um… I remember what happened.”

“What?” Bucky asks, sharing a confused look with Steve.

She breathes in deeply and groans softly, “I remember asking you to stay and I remember the night that it happened. Me being… attacked.”

Steve and Bucky’s blood chill and Bucky clears his throat before asking, “A-Are you okay, baby?”

“I thought,” she says slowly, “I mean, I went through the process of getting over what happened but… that was before I knew what actually happened. And now… I don’t know.”

“We’re sorry,” Steve breathes wrapping his arms around her. “I am so, so sorry.”

Y/n shakes her head and pulls back to smile at him, “I forgave you so long ago, I just need to… progress this nightmare.”

“What do we need to do?” Bucky whispers to her.

She looks at him and smiles softly, “Can we just, take it slow today? Stay in bed and watch movies?”

Bucky grins and nods, “Of course, anything for you, hun.”

They help her up and lead her back to the bed where she crawls to the middle and wraps the blankets around her. “Do you want me to get you something to drink?” Steve asks softly. 

Y/n pauses before nodding, “Please.”

“I’ll get your favorite then." 

Steve leaves the bedroom, his eyes hovering on the nervous looking Bucky before he steps out. Bucky breathes in deeply and crawls up onto the bed and next to Y/n. "What do you want from me?” He asks, “Tell me and I’ll do it.”

Y/n smiles softly and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down so that he laid on her chest. “This is fine,” she murmurs. Bucky smiles and nods, wrapping his arms around her as best as he could. Steve walks back in and grins at the sight of them cuddling. 

He sets her drink on the table and sits down on the bed next to them, “What do you wanna watch?”

She hums and shuts her eyes for a moment as she thinks before looking at him and softly saying, “I think there’s a Disney marathon going on, could we watch that please.”

Chuckling, Steve nods and reaches for the T.V remote, turning it on and finding the marathon. 

“Steve?” Y/n’s voice is soft and calm. He hums and turns his attention from the T.V to her, she was looking at him with thought. She breathes in deeply and nods once before saying, “Can we call our therapist, I’d think that’d help a lot.”

“Of course,” he says, “do you want me to do it right now?”

She shakes her head, “No, maybe tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he says nodding, “just for you or for all of us.”

“All of us,” she whispers snuggling into Bucky, “it’s easier when you two are close.”

Steve smiles and nods, “Okay, I’ll make sure to do that.” He leans over and presses a soft kiss to her forehead before snuggling down next to the two. 

“Love you,” she whispers again.

“Love you too,” Bucky and Steve say at the same time. Y/n smiles and sighs. leaning her head back against the pillows. When she shuts her eyes, the image of the horrible night begin to flash through her mind. But with her loves near, it was manageable, not at all unbearable. Their presence eased away the fear and left her feeling that she’d be able to beat it. 

And she will. 


	37. Stucky x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Child loss during pregnancy

Y/n squirms excitedly in her seat as she waits for the boys to finish getting ready. Wanda walks in with both Vision and Bruce, they all take notice of her excitement. 

“What is it?” Wanda asks sitting down next to her. Y/n shrugs and bites her lip before opening her mouth and saying, “We’re going to find out the genders today?” Nat grins, “Good, now I can get the money that Barton owes me.”

“Oh,” Y/n inquires raising her brow, “and just what did you bet?”

Nat pauses before smirking and saying, “Two boys and a girl.”

“And Clint?" 

Nat shrugs, "I think he said something about them all being boys." 

Bucky walks in from the hallway with Steve trailing behind. "Not a chance, there’s gonna be a girl in there somewhere.” Steve chuckles and shakes his head before nodding at Y/n. “Are you ready to go Babe?” Y/n nods and smiles, holding her hands out for them to take. Steve and Bucky both walk to her and take a hand, pulling her up. “Thank you,” she says with a grunt and brushes back a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face. 

Y/n pauses when she sees Bucky’s missing his left arm, “No arm today?”

He shakes his head and smiles softly at her, “Nah, I figured I might as well get used to not wearing it for when the babies come. Don’t want them getting hurt.”

“Isn’t Shuri working on an arm that looks and feels normal?” She asks while shrugging on her coat. Bucky shrugs and grabs a hair-tie on his wrist, pulling his hair back into a bun, “Not sure, it’s supposed to be more of a side project then anything.”

Y/n hums and Steve huffs, shooting an impatient look at the two. Y/n chuckles and reaches up on her tip-toes to kiss his jaw, “I know baby, I know. I can’t wait either.” He returns the kiss and smiles, “Then let’s go.”

Before the elevator door closes Nat yells to them, “I want to be the first to know!”

Y/n gives her a thumbs up and replies, “You got it, Aunt Nat!”

Bucky and Steve both chuckle amused and lean against one another, they watch Y/n bounce lightly and sing softly to herself while rubbing her belly. “You’re adorable, Y/n.” She grins and sticks her tongue out at him, scrunching her nose. Steve returns to expression and Bucky just shakes his head. 

“What do you think it’s going to be, Stevie?” Bucky asks as the door opens. Steve shrugs and takes them both by the hand, “I don’t care, as long as they’re happy and healthy.” Y/n nods in agreement. 

***

“Okay, let’s see here,” the doctor leans forward and presses the wand into Y/n’s stomach, “there’s one, two…hmm where’s three?”

Y/n leans forward eagerly, lip tugged between her teeth as she waits impatiently, “Well?”

The doctor frowns, “Um.”

The couple share a nervous look and Bucky leans forward, “Well?”

“Just-Just one moment, please.”

Y/n’s heart jumps at those words as she watches her doctor work, she seems to be anxious, muttering words to herself. Her eyes watch the monitor closely before she pinches her mouth shut and lets out a deep breath of air through her nose. She removes her glasses and pinches the bridge of her nose before sighing again and looking up at the trio. “D-Doc?” Steve asks anxiously. The doctor’s jaw clenches and she glances down before opening her mouth. 

“Don’t,” Y/n whispers, “please don’t.” Her eyes had already welled up with tears and her heart was pounding wildly at the fear of the words she knew she was about to hear. Bucky had already started to black out, his eyes were shut and his ears ringing, all he could hear was static. His mouth had run dry and his blood ran cold. Steve’s fists were clenched and his entire body rigid. 

She opens her mouth again and says a soft, “I’m sorry.”

A sob rips out of Y/n and she clamps her hands over her mouth. Steve rushes closer to her and holds her in his arms. Bucky was gone, lost. When his eyes open, they were blank and dull. Y/n sobs loudly and it racked her entire body, her hands had fallen to her belly where she held it as tightly as she could. “W-What happened?” Steve asks his voice breaks. 

The doctor shakes her head, “It would appear that the child has been absorbed by the other two, it must have happened earlier. Did you have any pain, anything?”

Y/n sniffles and wipes her eyes, “No, should I have?”

“Not every time, I’m so sorry.”

Y/n shakes her head and buries her face into Steve’s chest. She glances up when she hears Bucky’s breathing becoming ragged. “Steve,” she says through sobs, “get Bucky. Help Bucky, he can’t breathe.” Steve nods, and hurries over to the panicked man, his breathing only got worse when Steve reaches him and he fell into a full-blown panic attack. Steve crouches down in front of him and holds him by his cheeks, “Bucky, Bucky I’m here.” Bucky sobs and holds onto Steve’s arm like his life depended on it. His head was swimming and his heart felt like it was going so fast that it would suddenly stop, his entire body was sweating. Steve looks at the doctor for help and she says, “I’m going to get oxygen.”

Steve leans forward and wraps his arms around Bucky’s warm body, holding him tightly. Bucky moves his hand from Steve’s arm to his back and grabs his shirt. “Steve,” Bucky says through a broken, cracked voice. “I know,” Steve whispers fighting back his own tears, “I know, I know.”

The doctor comes back and kneels down in front of Bucky’s face, she holds up the oxygen mask, “Is it okay if I put this on you.”

Bucky stares at her through tears and hesitantly nods, moving just a bit so it’s easier for her to slide it over his head and nestle it over his nose. “Take deep breaths, James, some nice deep breaths.” She stands up and walks over to the stunned mother, “Honey, I know it’s terrible but I need you to actually breathe.”

Y/n nods and takes in a sudden breath she didn’t realize she was holding before another sob rips out of her. Their doctor wraps her arms around Y/n tightly and soothes her in a motherly fashion, “I’m sorry, I am so sorry." 

Everyone in the room was a wreck and after almost a half hour had passed they had all managed to calm down to a degree. Even the doctor had shed some tears. She wipes her eyes and the Y/n’s before sitting back on her stool and sniffing, "Um, I need to finish up, make sure all is well, do you three still want to know the gender?”

All three nod solemnly and she takes a deep breath. “Alright, let’s get this done.”

***

The car ride was silent and the atmosphere was filled with tension and anxiety. Finally, Steve sighs and turns off into a parking lot. He parks and they all sit for a moment. Finally, Steve opens his mouth and says, “We still have baby ‘A’ and 'B’, we should at least be grateful for that.”

Y/n nods in agreement and glances back to see Bucky do the same glumly. “I,” Bucky pauses, his brows coming together as he struggles, “I’m going to text Nat and tell her, make sure she warns the others.”

“That sounds good,” Y/n whispers. 

“We still have two,” Steve says softly. Both Y/n and Bucky look at Steve and wait knowing it’s about to happen. Then Steve breaks, he starts crying, sobbing. His head falls into his hands and his shoulders shake with his heavy sobs. Bucky steps out of the car and walks around to Steve’s door, he taps the window and because Steve still couldn’t stop, Y/n reaches over and opens the door for him. Bucky wraps his arm around Steve tightly and presses kisses all over his hair and whispers into his ear, “It’s okay, Stevie. It’s alright. We’ve got you." 

Y/n rubs Steve’s back soothingly and whispers softly, "Let it out, Stevie.”

He nods and sniffles and continues crying for another ten minutes before finally he stops and takes a deep breath. Steve leans back in his seat and Bucky and Y/n watch him closely. Steve wipes his face and whispers, “I have a baby girl and a baby boy that are on the way, I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay,” Y/n says firmly, “but that’s okay. We can take the time not to be okay, it’s our right. We just lost a baby.”

Steve sniffles and smiles brokenly, “Okay." 

Y/n leans forward and puckers her lips, Steve gladly leans forward to give a kiss and then does the same to Bucky. "I love you,” he says to the both of them. He looks up at Bucky with his soft blue eyes and nods to the backseat, “I’m alright now, we can head home.”

Bucky shakes his head, “I’m driving the rest of the way, come on.”

Steve pauses, seemingly in thought, before nodding and giving Bucky a thankful glance. He steps out and into the back while Bucky takes his place. Y/n rubs Bucky’s should and smiles weakly at him before he nods and starts the car, “Let’s go home and take a nap.”

***

When they get home it’s silent, there is no one in the living room and no one in the kitchen. A strange occurrence in the tower. But all three sighs a breath of relief as they head to their bedroom. Bucky helps Y/n with her things and then onto the bed. “Do you want anything?" 

She shakes her head and lies back on the pillows, "Just you two.”

They nod and kick off their shoes before joining her on the bed, Bucky is on her left while Steve’s on her right. Steve chooses to nestle next to her swollen belly and presses gentle kisses to it. “I love you,” he whispers, “so, so much.”

Bucky watches with tired eyes and a smile that matched, her lets Y/n nestle under the crook of his arm and kisses the top of her head. “I love you,” he whispers to her. She looks up at him and smiles, “I love you too honey.”

“Go to sleep,” he orders softly, “you need it.” She hums and shuts her eyes, Y/n was mentally and physically exhausted. Sleep should be no problem. 

***

Four Months Later

***

Bucky was holding his daughter, carefully balanced in one arm. She coos and murmurs, her face scrunching as she sleeps. Steve was holding his son, holding him close to his chest. As the baby slept, he sighs softly and opens his tiny mouth to yawn. 

Steve walks over to where Bucky was sat, sitting down next to him. “We made these,” he says stunned. “Yeah,” Bucky says in an equally stunned tone. Y/n giggles softly from her spot on their bed, “You’re too cute.”

“You wanna trade?” Bucky asks with a grin. Steve nods and they carefully maneuver the babies and switch. “Hello, Sarah,” Steve whispers. “And hello little Timothy.” Bucky grins down, his own eyes looking back up at him. Y/n sighs and leans back against her pillow while she watches. The loves of her lives were cooing and making silly faces at the babies the held ever so close to them. She laughs softly and shakes her head, “Are you two ever going to let me hold my babies?”

Both flash an apologetic smile before standing and making their way towards her. The boys gently set down Timothy and Sarah onto her chest and Y/n cuddles them closely. She presses gentle kisses to their foreheads, “I love you so, so much my babies.”


	38. Stucky x Reader

**Pairings: Alpha!Stucky x Reader**

* * *

Steve and Bucky stare wide-eyed at each other and then down at the babies that they held. Small enough for them to simply hold their entire bodies with their hands. “Oh,” Steve whispers cradling his son to his chest, “oh, oh, oh.” Bucky swallows thickly at the sight of his pups, tears burning the back of his eyes as he’s handed his daughter. “Hi,” he murmurs to her, nuzzling her cheek. Bucky inhales deeply, taking in the fresh, newborn scent, taking in the smell of his daughter. He’s in love, so in love. She looks up at him with his mother’s eyes and he swoons, “Oh my goodness, you’re so beautiful. My pup, so gorgeous.”  
Steve laughs tearfully and uses his shoulder to wipe away the tears that fell before bringing his son up to his face and pressing his forehead gently onto his own. “Hi pup,” he smiles. The baby coos in response and Steve chuckles bringing him back down and cradling him. 

“Are you happy,” Y/n asks softly from their bed, Steve and Bucky have been insistent that it be a homebirth. 

The boys look up at her and nod quickly. “Of course,” Bucky says beaming, he looks down at their pup and laughs, “yes!” Steve stands up and moves to sit next to her. “Thank you,” he whispers into her hair, “thank you so much.”

“I love you,” Bucky whispers watching his mates, “so, so much.”

Y/n smiles and beckons for him to join them on the bed. He shakes his head and looks down at the pup in his arms, “I don’-”

“You won’t drop her Alpha,” Y/n smiles encouragingly, “Please? I want a kiss.”  
Bucky takes a deep breath and nods, smiling nervously he stands up and slowly makes his way over to his mates. He sits down and when Y/n puckers her lips for him as he leans down and presses a gentle and soft kiss to her. She sighs when he pulls away and leans back against the mountain of pillows behind her, “Thank you. I love you too, Bucky.”

“What about me?” Steve asks nuzzling into her neck. 

She giggles and turns to face him, giving him a kiss too, “I love both of my Alphas.”


	39. Forgotten

**Pairings: Wanda x Reader x Steve**

* * *

“You’re pregnant?" 

Wanda nods, her smile widening even further at her two loves’ reactions. Y/n turns to smile at Steve, he laughs and runs a hand through his hair. "A baby?” Y/n asks standing up/ 

Wanda nods again, giggling slightly at their disbelief, “Yes.”

Y/n exhales and holds her face, squealing. She pulls Wanda into a hug and Steve wraps his arms around both of them, squeezing tightly. Steve laughs loudly and picks the two women off of their feet, “I can’t believe it!”

He sets them down and Y/n starts dancing in her spot chanting, “We’re gonna have a baby, we’re gonna have a baby!”

***

Steve followed closely behind Wanda as she walks through the house. Asking her if she’s alright and doing things for her. It made Y/n chuckle at it, it’s adorable how protective he’s become. 

Wanda huffs and turns to look at Steve who was only a few feet away from her, “Steve, I know you’re doing it because you love me but I’m _fine._ I’m still me, and I need just a bit of space so…” She steps forward and pushes him back before continuing through the kitchen. Steve pouts but nods, “Alright.”

Y/n chuckles from her seat at the kitchen island counter, sitting on the bar stool. Steve sighs and joins her, sitting and eyeing Wanda as she moves about.

“Hey,” Y/n pokes him with her foot, “Wanda could use with some space, why don’t you and I go back to the bedroom and I distract you for a bit?”

Steve doesn’t hesitate when he shakes his head, “No, I’m fine." 

Y/n’s shoulders slump and she nods, "Alright.” She turns and brushes a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she looks back down to the book she had been reading. A pregnancy book. Y/n hardly had any experience with kids besides cousins and such, but even then she had been too young to do anything. She was trying to learn as much as she could. 

She hears something crash and Steve was up on his feet immediately. She turns to see Wanda staring down at the glass vase that had shattered by her feet with a frown. Steve hurries to her side and checks for injuries. “I’m fine, Steve.”

“I’ll clean it up,” Y/n says standing up and getting the broom and dustpan. 

Steve takes Wanda and walks them back towards the bedroom. Y/n could hear him continuing to ask if she was alright or had been hurt anywhere and Wanda reassuring him she’s fine. 

Y/n works silently, her brows coming together in concentration as she does. As she moves to sweep up the pile of glass into the dustpan she steps on an unseen piece of glass and swears quietly to herself as it lodges itself up her foot. Her nose scrunches as pain shoots through her foot and up her ankle. 

“Shoot,” she says bending down to look at it. Blood flowed out quickly and she covers it with her hand to stop it, hopping over to the kitchen to grab some paper towels and wrap it up. 

Steve walks out and frowns when he sees her holding the paper towels to her foot, “What are you doing?”

“I stepped on some glass,” she answers softly, “do you think you could get me the first aid kit and tweezers?”

He nods and turns back towards the bedroom, returning shortly after with kit in hand. “Here,” he says handing it to her. “Thank you.” Y/n uncovers her foot and scrunches her nose at the mess. “Do you need any help?" 

"No,” Y/n smiles at him, “I’m alright.”

Steve nods and returns the smile before turning to look back into the hallway he came from, “I’m going to head back into the room then, keep Wanda company.”

Y/n hums and casts her eyes down, focusing on her foot. She hears him walk away and when she knew that he was no longer in the room and couldn’t see her she frowns with disappointment. She wouldn’t consider herself jealous but she finds it hurtful that even when Wanda wasn’t hurt and she was Steve chose to pay more attention to her. 

_But she’s pregnant with the child,_ Y/n thinks, _she needs the attention._

***

When Y/n wakes, she wakes to a cold bed. She sits up slowly and blinks as she looks around the room. The lights were off and the curtains left it dark in the room. 

But she could hear quiet movement outside of the room which meant she wasn’t completely alone. She kicks her feet over the edge of the bed and stands up, stretching as she does. She looks down at the side table to grab her phone and smiles when she sees a card with her name on it. Picking it up she opens to read:

_Y/n, my love for you grows stronger each day and I am thankful to have found you and Steve. Another year has passed and though so much as changed my love for you has not. It’s just as strong and powerful as when I first fell in love and I know it will never die out. Happy birthday my love._

_Wanda and baby_

She laughs when she sees that Wanda had signed for the baby too. She sets the card back down and grabs her phone to check for any emails or messages she may have received during the night and morning before setting it back down and getting dressed. 

Steve was on the phone when she walks out. “Yeah, I’ll see you there okay? Right, bye.”

“Where are you going,” Y/n asks with a frown. 

“I’m going shopping for the baby shower,” he says shrugging on his coat. He walks forward and gives her a quick kiss before smiling and walking out. 

Y/n stands in shock, he didn’t really forget…did he? She huffs and sits down on the couch, tears burning in her eyes. She lies down on the couch and curls up into a ball, burying her face into the pillows. 

***

“Y/n?”

She hums and turns her head to look up at her, Wanda was frowning down at her and reaches to caress her face. “What are the tears for?”

“There aren’t any tears,” Y/n says sitting up.

“There were,” Wanda replies sitting down next to her. 

“I think Steve forgot it’s my birthday,” Y/n says quietly. 

Wanda turns to look around the apartment, “Where is he?”

Y/n shrugs, “He’s out shopping for the baby shower.”

Wanda huffs and shakes her head, “I’m sorry. He has been neglectful of you because of me and the baby.”

“It’s not your fault,” Y/n mumbles. Wanda studies Y/n, she knows that something’s been wrong and she’s tried to quietly point out to Steve about it. But this has crossed the line, Y/n has been home by herself when she should have been with Steve. 

Wanda reaches for Y/n and pulls her into a tight hug, “How about you and I take a nice long bath, hm?”

Y/n snuggles into Wanda, “Sound’s good, can we take a nap after.”

Wanda laughs lightly, “A nap sounds wonderful.”

***  
When Steve came home Wanda had been waiting. He pauses at the door when he sees her staring at him with crossed arms and an upset expression. Thinking something was wrong with her he hurries forward, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She glares, “ _I_ am fine. It’s Y/n who’s not.”

Steve frowns, a crease forms between his brows, “What?”

“Do you know what today is, Steve?”

He pauses before shaking his head, “No…should I?”

“It’s Y/n’s birthday!”

His eyes widen, “N-Not really, right?”

Wanda huffs and moves her hands to her hips, she gives him a disappointed frown and shakes her head, “I don’t know if you’re aware or not but you’ve been unfair.”

“Unfair?”

“You’ve been ignoring, Y/n. When’s the last time you did anything with or for her?”

Steve stays silent, his jaw clenching. Wanda sighs, “You owe her an apology and a helluva birthday present.”

Steve nods slowly, “Where is she?”

“Asleep,” Wanda answers, “taking a nap.”

“How long do you figure she’s down for?” He asks. 

Wanda shrugs, “Long enough for you to make a delicious dinner for her birthday.”

Steve gives her a small smile, “Alright.”

Later that night, after Steve had made the food and prepped the table he crept quietly into their bedroom where he sees Y/n’s sleeping form. He could hear the breaths as she slowly breathes and see the blanket rise and fall with the movement. Steve inhales deeply while walking up and sits down on the edge of the bed. 

He reaches for her shoulder and shakes it gently while whispering her name, “Y/n, wake up.” She groans and shakes her head, scrunching her nose. He can’t help but smile but tries again, “Doll, wakeup.”

“What?” She whispers, her voice is thick with sleep.

“I made you dinner, happy birthday.” Steve feels her body still under his touch and she cracks her eyes open to peek at him. He smiles guiltily, “I am so sorry that I forgot." 

She hums.

"Really, baby, I am so so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have been ignoring you like I have.”

She blinks at him and nods, “No, but it’s okay.”

“Come eat,” Steve says pulling her up, “I made your favorite.”

“Yeah?” Y/n smiles.

“Yes,” he pulls her into his chest and kisses her cheek. They both stand up and walk back out into the dining room where Wanda was waiting with a smile on her face. 


	40. A Care for Everything

**Pairings: Platonic!Reader x Tony Stark**

* * *

Tony smiles fondly down at the newest member of the Avengers. She was smart, brilliantly so, and it showed through her work. When she was working, she was as confident as could be. However, in real life, she was the shyest person in the room. 

Currently, they were all at dinner and everyone was listening to Peter’s story about the science fair. Bucky was smiling at the young boy’s enthusiasm, being able to relate. 

“It was amazing! I mean, Y/n didn’t have the resources that you did, Tony, but she still made this A.I. and in only like three weeks.”

Y/n blushes under all the attention she was getting and looks down at her plate. Still not used to being surrounded by so many people, positive people too. Kind ones. Tony knows that with a little pushing she’ll feel like family in no time. 

“Why don’t you tell us about it,” Tony presses, Y/n looks up wide-eyed and if possible reddens even more. “I’m very intrigued.”

She glances around as everyone murmurs in agreement and starts to stutter, “U-Uh, well…well I-I.” Y/n bites her tongue, feeling even more embarrassed than before. “Hey,” Tony smiles at her, “it’s alright.”

She takes a deep breath and nods, “His name is Ace.”

“What does that mean?” Steve asks, looking over at Tony. Steve expects that like him, Y/n chose a name exactly like Tony had. 

“Nothing really, it’s just his name.” Steve’s brows raise at the answer but it makes Tony smile. “What’s he like?”

“He’s nice. I programmed him to be compassionate and helpful, plus smart of course. I programmed him to think like a human too, his computer mind can override any dangerous thought or anything too illogical it might hurt someone but I haven’t had a problem with that yet.” Y/n’s blush lessens as she continues talking, “Ace is meant for me. Like a…a service dog, he’s not a service dog but in that sense." 

"What else,” Tony can see how happy it is that someone is interested. Y/n straightens up and grins, she pulls up her sleeve to expose her wrist and the band that was wrapped around this. “It’s a sensor,” she says, “It tells Ace how I am feeling. If something is wrong he sends my phone an alert.”

“Very smart,” Tony praises her and it makes Y/n beam.

“See!” Peter exclaims, “it was amazing, you should have seen the teachers faces.”

Y/n giggles and a large smile plays on her lips. Clearing his throat, Tony says, “I’d like to meet him.”

“Really,” her eyes shine with delight and excitement.

“Of course,” Tony grins, chuckling, “You’ve got me all hyped up not show me! Who is Ace?”

Nodding eagerly everyone murmurs agreements and encourage Y/n to show them all. With that Y/n pulls her phone from her pocket and puts it face up on the table, “Hello, Ace.”

The phone chimes and turns on, “Hello, Y/n. I sense an increase in your heart-rate but you sound happy. I’m glad.” The voice was robotic, it did hold a little personality, Tony could swear he hears the happiness in it. “I’m with the team,” Y/n tells Ace, “they all wanted to meet you.”

The screen pulses once and in a rather bashful voice says, “Really? Me?”

Everyone was smiling at the two, Peter was practically bouncing in his seat. Ace seems to pause before saying, “Well, I am honored.” Chuckling Tony says, “It’s a pleasure.”

“To you as well, sir.”

***

Over the next few weeks, Tony dedicated his time to ensuring the young girl’s comfort. Even going so far as to giving Ace his own link to the building and updated him. Ace now has a voice to match with his colorful and kind personality. He and F.R.I.D.A.Y get along very well. 

It was late at night when Tony passes Y/n’s room. He hears talking, shushed talking. Curiously the man presses his ears to the door and smiles when he hears Ace telling Y/n stories. Since being updated, Ace is able to find documents and such for Y/n and made it a personal quest to find out more about her parents.

“He was known as a hero in the war,” he says, “he talked about you a lot.”

“Could you…could you play that message again,” she asks softly, “the one meant for me?”

Another voice was heard inside the room: “Hey precious, I just want you to know that Daddy loves you and misses you so, so much. I’m sorry that I’m not home but don’t worry, we’ll see each other soon. Kisses baby, night-night.”

Tony hears her sniffle and decides to step in, he knocks on the door and cracks it open to poke his head in. Y/n sat in the middle of her bed with her knees tucked under her chin and tears running freely down her face.

“Hey,” Tony whispers out, unsure if he should step in now. But she smiles and beckons him in, “Hi.”

“How are you feeling?” He asks sitting down on the edge.

“Sad,” Ace answers for her, “but happy.”

“I’m not confused anymore, now I know that I had a parent that loved me.” She sniffles and smiles at Tony, “Did you hear? My dad was a good man.”

Tony’s mouth quirks up into a smile and he nods, “I heard.”

“Thank you,” Y/n rushes forward and hugs Tony tightly, “If it weren’t for you I would never have known.”

Tony hesitantly wraps his arms around her but when he does he’s overwhelmed with the feeling of never wanting to let go. Tony wants to keep Y/n safe for as long as possible and keep her happy. He squeezes her tightly and smiles, “Anything for you kids.”

She pulls away and smiles again. Tony takes a deep breath and points to her pillow, “You should sleep, another big day in the lab for you mini-genius.” Nodding Y/n scoots back and lets Tony tuck her in under her covers. He stands up and walks back over to the door, before leaving said to Ace, “Make sure she sleeps alright Ace.”

“Of course, sir. Only the best stories.”

“The best,” Tony repeats, smiling at Y/n, “Goodnight, sleep well.”


	41. Win Her Heart

**Pairings: Frat Boy!Tony x Reader**

* * *

“Hey,” Tony smiles softly at Y/n, she looked up from her book to smile at him and nod, “Hello.” Tony clears his throat, “I was wondering if maybe…you’d want to go out sometime? Or hang out?”

Y/n pauses, her lips pursed as she thinks. Tony holds his breath while he waits. “I’m sorry,” Y/n smiles sympathetically, “my friend told me that you’re bad news.”

“What?” Tony raises her brows at her statement and stands slightly dumbfounded. Y/n clears her throat and stands up from the library’s table, “Sorry.” She brushes past him and walks away leaving Tony in a cloud of confusion and slightly dazed. Rhodey pops up next to him, “So?”

“I’m going to kill Thor’s brother,” he growls while turning on his heel to walk out of the library. Rhodey winces and turns to shake his head at Pepper and Happy who were both waiting to see how it turned out. They both grimace and sigh before moving to follow Tony and Rhodey. 

***

“Thor!” Tony stomps into the frat house, he slams the door and rushes through the house to find the tall blond. Thor was standing in the kitchen snacking on some pop tarts and looking like a deer in headlights when Tony finds him. “What?” He asks around a mouthful of food. “Where’s your brother?”

Thor swallows and licks his lips nervously, “Why?”

“I just tried asking out this awesome girl, but like everyone else, she said no because of the damn rumors.”

Thor winces and rubs the back of his neck guiltily, “I’m sorry to hear that, Loki’s gone. He left a couple of days ago to see our mother.” Tony groans and rubs vigorously at his eyes, “She was so sweet too.”

Thor pauses, gaze shifting to the rest of the fraternity watching, “Perhaps you could win her heart?”

“What?" 

"Prove to her that you aren’t a womanizer, show her,” Thor explains further. Tony hums, he scratches his chin as he thinks. “Alright,” he sinks deeper into thought, “I have to go and think about this.” Everyone watching steps to the side as Tony rushes past them and up the stairs towards his bedroom. There was a beat of silence before they all heard his door slam shut.

***

The next day Tony approaches Y/n slowly, he takes the seat next to her in their only shared class. She doesn’t seem to acknowledge him and continues on with reading the same book he had seen her reading yesterday. 

Tony takes a deep breath before clearing his throat, “Excuse me? Y/n?”

She peeks up at him and hums questioningly, “Yeah?”

“I, um, I thought that maybe instead of going out…we could be friends?” Tony sounds unsure of himself which was unusual. Y/n stares at him for a moment, blinking as she studies him before sighing and saying in a reluctant tone, “Fine.”

Tony perks up, “Really?”

“I suppose there’s no harm in being friends,” she smiles kindly towards him. 

Tony breathes a breath of relief and nods, “Right.”

***

It took Tony almost two weeks to convince Y/n to go out with him. Not on a date, more so a study session. He took her out to the park with a picnic basket. 

“It’s warm today,” Y/n says while shielding her eyes from the sun. Tony hums in response and scans the park for some shade. “There,” he says pointing to a large tree free from both people, animals, and hopefully insects. Y/n grins and nods, “Let’s go.”

Tony let’s Y/n lead, smiling as she hurries forward. Her sundress bounces as she moves, swaying nicely with her movements. _It’s pretty_ , Tony thinks to himself. Her dress had an exposed back, the color of the dress contrasting quite nicely against her skin. Y/n’s hair was pulled up and held back with a headband. 

Y/n stands underneath the shade and sighs with relief, she turns to smile at Tony and beckon for him to hurry while she sits down. He takes his seat next to her and leans back against the bark of the tree. 

“Thank you,” Y/n smiles softly, “it’s nice being out. My other friends never have the time to anymore.”

Tony chuckles, “No problem, Y/n.”

“Keep this up and I might date you after all,” she jokes. Although it was a joke and Tony knew it, he couldn’t help the reaction from it. His heart beats faster and his cheeks flush, Tony feels a sliver of hope grow inside his chest. 

While Tony was distracted with himself he doesn’t catch the small and shy smile that grew on Y/n’s lips. How her own cheeks seemed to flush too.

***

“Hey,” Y/n greets Steve with a warm smile, “is Tony here?”

Steve pauses, he stares down at the smaller girl who was looking for his friend. He tilts his head, blue eyes shining with interest, “Are you Y/n?” She nods, “Uh-huh.” Steve grins and grabs her arm, pulling her into the frat house. 

“Tony!” Steve yells, “Y/n’s here.”

Steve leans against the wall and grins when he hears a loud thump and then the sound of someone running across the hall upstairs and towards the stairs. Y/n giggles when she sees him. Tony had clearly just woken up, he was wearing sweats that hung low on his hips and a tank top. His hair was sticking up everywhere. 

“Hey,” Y/n laughs lightly while waving. 

Tony hesitates before grinning, “Hey.”

“I..was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with me to that new coffee place,” Y/n suggests. 

Steve’s eyes widen and Tony tilts his head looking confused, “Huh?”

“That new coffee shop? I want to take you out,” Y/n smiles, “one a date.” It slowly dawns on Tony, as it does his eyes get wider and wider and so does his smile, “Really?" 

"Uh-huh.”

Tony laughs excitedly and rushes away before coming right back, “I’m going to get dressed, I’ll be down in just a sec.” Tony rushed through his room and gets dressed, he stops in front of the mirror and brushes down his spiky hair before lightly spraying on some cologne, he uses the bathroom to brush his teeth and splashes his face with water. 

Tony hurries back down and breathes out, “I’m ready.” Smiling, Y/n holds her hand out for him to take, “Then come on.”


	42. Scared to Birth

**Pairings: Tony Stark x Reader**

* * *

“W-What happened?” I stutter, my heart plunging from my chest. 

Peter sniffles and looks down, wringing his hands together. He furrows his brows and brokenly says, “I’m sorry, I-I tried catching him but… I missed.” Tears filled his eyes but he quickly wipes them away and looks up at me, “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Y/n.”

I take in a shuddery breath and nod my head, “He’s getting taken to the hospital now?”

“Y-Yes,” Peter says nodding quickly. 

“Alright,” I breathe in deeply before exhaling slowly. My eyes shut for a moment as I try to ground myself, then I open them and stare at Peter. The poor boy was still in his own suit, bleeding and bruised. I try, God did I try, but then suddenly I break. My head falls into my hands and sobs wrack my body. 

I hear Peter whimper quietly and whisper, “D-Don’t cry, he’ll be alright. Please don’t cry.” I continue sobbing and my legs give out on me. If Peter hadn’t caught me I would have fallen to the ground. “I’ve got you,” he says softly picking me up, “we don’t want to hurt your baby.”

Peter takes me to the couch and sits me down, he crouches down on the floor in front of me and cups my cheeks, “M-Mrs. Y/n, I know it hurts and it’s scary but they asked me to make sure you stay calm. For the baby.”

I take a deep breath and nod, trying to calm myself but it wasn’t working. “What if he dies, Peter?” I asked through tears, “What will I tell our child?”

Peter has tears running down his own face, “I don’t know… I’m so sorry. I should have caught him. If I was-” His face crumples and he puts his face into his hands. Through them, I hear him cry softly. I groan and wipe my eyes, reaching out to comfort Peter I feel a sharp shooting pain go up my pain and hiss with pain. 

Peter’s head shoots up and his brows come together in concern, “What’s wrong?”

I massage my back and grimace, “I’m not sure.”

“M-Maybe we should-”

Another sharp pain, I grimace again and moan out in pain. Peters stands up and looks up, “F.R.I.D.A.Y, whats wrong?”

“I’m detecting elevated heart rate in both Y/n and the child, perhaps it’s because she’s having a panic attack?”

“N-No,” I stutter out as the pain subsides, this time it had wrapped around my stomach like a muscle cramp. “Um, Peter?”

He looks at me with wide eyes and cautiously asks, “Yeah?”

“Do you know how to drive?”

“I wouldn’t suggest that, Y/n.” F.R.I.D.A.Y chimes, “he’s still quite inexperienced.”

“Then you take control,” I mumble glaring at where her camera was installed. 

“Alright then, to the hospital then?”

Peter looks at F.R.I.D.A.Y’s camera and then back at me, switching between us confusedly, “W-What’s going on?”

“I think,” I say taking a deep breath and wiping the remaining tears from my face, “that I might have just started going into labor.”

“What?” He exclaims. Peter starts pacing back and forth, “What should I do? Is there anything that I need to get.”

“Yes,” I breathe and reach for his hand, Peter takes it and lets me use his as a support system. “please take me to my bedroom.”

“A-Alright,” Peter stutters, leading us back to Tony and I’s bedroom. 

When we reach it I slowly sit down on the bed and sigh, “I need some shoes, something comfortable and then I need you to help me put them on.”

Nodding, Peter walks into my closet and holds up a few pairs questioningly. I point to the slip-on sneakers and he quickly walks to me, kneeling down and helping me put them on. 

“Now what?” Peter asks looking up at me. 

“The bag is in there,” I tell him, pointing to the door that led to the babies room. Peter nods and quickly walks into it, thankfully being quick to find and grab it. He comes back in and slings the bag over his shoulder, “Anything else?”

“N-No,” I say, my brows come together as another contraction hits. I breathe in deeply and clench my jaw while I wait for it to pass. Finally, it does and I stand up, “It has everything in it that I need.”

We walk out of the bedroom and head for the door when F.R.I.D.A.Y points out the obvious, “Peter is still in his suit.”

Peter and I pause and we look down, both of us had completely forgotten about that. “Um, just grab something from Tony’s closet.”

“What? All I saw was suits!” Peter says nervously, “I can’t wear those.”

“No, no, there’s a row of clothes right next to mine, those are all his casual clothes. Hurry up." 

Nodding Peter runs back into my bedroom and then runs back, struggling to pull a shirt over his head but he manages. "A-Alright,” He says out of breath, “let’s go.” We make it the car garage and Peter moves to sit in the back when I stop him, pulling him towards the driver’s seat. He looks shocked for a moment before excited, he slips in quickly while I sit in the passenger’s seat. 

“Ready to go?" F.R.I.D.A.Y asks.

"Please hurry up,” I groan scrunching my nose, “they’re getting closer. And tell the others that I am on the way.”

*

We arrive at the hospital and are greeted by Bruce, Steve, and Wanda. Steve opens the door for me, “What are you doing here? You should have stayed home, he’s still in surgery.”

“I’m having a baby, Steven,” I say, letting him help me out of the car.

“What?” Bruce asks, “But aren’t you in a couple weeks?”

“Plans have changed,” I mumble as everyone helps me inside. 

“I’ve got the bag,” Peter announces catching up to me. I turn and catch F.R.I.D.A.Y driving the car away. “Good,” I sigh, “let’s go then.”

I’m quickly taken care of and settled in, I suppose word that Tony Stark’s wife is in the hospital because soon enough I had an array of nurses in my room. Peter stayed close to me and checked on me every few minutes to make sure that I wasn’t overwhelmed. I tried being polite, telling them to leave, but now I was starting to get claustrophobic. Peter glances back down at me and again asks, “Do you want me to get them to leave?”

“Please?” I whisper. 

“Alright,” he says straightening up, everyone turns to look at him, “I need everyone but the necessary nurses to leave. Mrs. Stark feels uncomfortable.”

They all pause and stare at him for a moment and for the first time ever, I see Peter put on a very stern and mean looking face. “Now!” He exclaims. They jump and quickly start to leave, once it’s just two nurses, my nurses.

I breathe a sigh of relief and smile at Peter, “Thank you.”

“How are you feeling?” He asks. 

I shake my head and give him a nervous smile, “It hurts, I wish Tony was here.”

“I do too,” Peter says sighing. He pauses before quickly adding, “Not that I don’t like being here! I just… wish he was here instead of in surgery.”

I hum, “Well, thank you, for staying by my side.”

*

**Time Skip: A While After Birth**

*

“Wow,” Peter exclaims looking down at my son, “Wow!”

I chuckle and smile at the baby, admiring his black tuff of hair. 

“That just happened!” Peter whispers excitedly, “It was kind of scary, a little gross, but so amazing!” He turns to the nurse, “And you got it all on camera for Mr. Stark?”

“Yes,” she says chuckling, handing it to him. 

“Thanks!” He says taking the phone. 

“Don’t watch it,” I warn him with a grin. 

He looks up and blushes, “I wasn’t going to, I was just gonna make sure it saves and send it to your guy’s phone.” He clicks a few things and then satisfied, says, “Done.”

There’s a knock on the door and I look at Peter to answer it. He nods and walks over, cracking it open before mumbling, “Holycrap.”

I hear a chuckle and a weak, “Can I come in.”

My eyes widen and I sit up, staring at the door eagerly. Peter nods quickly and opens the door all the way, stepping to the side. Here comes Tony rolling in with a smug looking grin. He meets my eyes and his eyes soften, “Hi.”

“You’re okay!” I cry, holding onto our son tightly. 

“Yeah, just barely, but yeah.”

“What are you doing up?” I ask sniffling, wiping away tears.

“I had to come and see you after I heard you’re having the baby.” He points to the bundle in my hand, “Is that them?”

I nod and grin, “You have a son.”

He smiles and laughs softly, rolling towards the edge of the bed. I show our son to him and let him take him. “Wow,” he breathes, running a gentle finger across the babies cheek.

“Tony,” I whisper, leaning down, “Peter helped me through the entire thing. I think we should do something for him.”

“Middle name?” He asks raising a brow. 

I nod and give him a thumbs up, sitting back. Tony nods and turns to look at Peter who was standing by the door nervously. He gestures for Peter to come here and says, “Thank you for helping out Y/n, Peter.”

“O-Of course.”

“Would you like to hold Wesley Peter Stark?”

Peter pauses and glances between Tony, Wesley, and I. “Are you serious.”

“Dead serious,” Tony says firmly and holds Wesley up. “Take him.”

Laughing nervously, Peter lets Tony help him hold our baby and when he gets it he aws. “You’re so cute,” he whispers to Wes.

I chuckle and look down at Tony before leaning to the side and pressing a kiss to his lips. When I pull away I murmur, “Go back to your room, I’ll visit with Wes as soon as I can. You shouldn’t be up.”

He nods and takes a deep breath, “Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” I promise with a smile. 

Tony rolls out of the room and before the door could shut I hear Bruce and Steve start yelling at him. Peter and I laugh before we return our attention to a now awake Wesley. “Are you really gonna name him after me?” He asks. 

“Of course,” I smile, “you deserve it. Thank you so much for staying by my side.”

“Anything for you.”

* 

**A Year Later**

*

Everyone was bickering to hold Wes and take pictures with him. Peter finally got a hold of him and climbed up the wall. “Come on,” Steve complains, “that’s just not fair.”

“He’s named after me!” Peter says sticking his tongue out, “I officially have more rights than you!”

“I’m his godfather!” Rhodey exclaims, “I think that means I have the most rights.”

“Alright, alright,” I say stepping up. Looking up at Peter I cross my arms and raise a brow, “Peter, you have to share.”

“But…” Peter pouts, “he likes being up here with me.”

Chuckling I nod, it’s true. Wes was having the time of his life up on the wall, giggling and laughing. “Peter,” I say sighing, “how about we compromise?”

“I will let them have Wes _if_ I get to babysit him for the next month.”

“Fine,” Tony sighs, winking at me, “but that means that you’re off of doing missions for that time.”

“Deal!” Peter says eagerly, he sets himself back down gently and hands Wes to an impatient Rhodey.

Chuckling I look at Tony and press a kiss to his jaw. He smiles down at me, melting my heart. “I love you,” he whispers, “and I am so thankful that I’m here.”

“Me too,” I murmur laying my head on his shoulder, I watch as everyone was having fun and playing with Wes. 


	43. The Start of Something

**Pairings: Peter Parker x Reader**

* * *

****“Hey, Y/n.”

I look up to see Peter on the wall above me and grin. “Hi.” He jumps down over my head and sits down next to me, I was in the training room taking a break and sitting against the wall.

“What are you doing?”

“Just taking a break.” I smile, “Are you getting ready to train?”

He nods and huffs, leaning his head back and looking up at the ceiling. His shoulder brushes mine and I flush at the contact. “Hey, Y/n?” I hum and look over at him. He was smiling up at the ceiling, “Prom is soon.”

You nod, “I know.”

“Plan on asking anyone?” He turns to look at me with a curious glint in his eyes.

I shrug and look down at my lap to hide my blush from the eye contact. He opens his mouth to say something when Cap whistles for us, “Come on guys, break time is over.”

Peter huffs out and stands up, helping you up as he does. “You’re with me, Y/n,” Bucky says walking to the sparring mat. Wanda walks with him, “And me.” I slow in my steps and Peter stands next to me, “Tell me.”

“Why am I fighting both of them?” I whisper into his ear.

Bucky and Wanda wait with a patient smile as Peter listens before he turns to face them and says, “She wants to know why she’s fighting the both of you.”

“You have to work on fighting multiples, I know that’s a problem for you,” Bucky answers.

“You need to learn to look past the distractions it causes,” Wanda adds, “Especially since you are a witch. I know how devastating a distraction can become.” Sighing you nod in agreement and walk away from Peter who was called to spar Steve and Sam.

“You’re going to be fighting me,” Bucky says moving into a stance and nodding to Wanda, “she’s going to try and distract you. Understood?”

I nod pressing my lips together in a tight line. Bucky doesn’t hold back, he never does and immediately moves forward and I dodge his punch. Using my magic I push him back, dark smoke starts to swirl around us. Not from Wanda but from me. I can feel her magic creep up behind me and look over my shoulder. When I do Bucky takes advantage of the distraction by knocking me down and pinning me to the mat.

I grunt and twist my hand and fingers in a motion covering us in a thick cloud of breathable smoke. While he couldn’t see I could and I pull myself out of his hold and hold him down with my magic, Bucky grunts but I keep him quiet so that Wanda doesn’t know what’s happening.

She walks around me slowly, unable to see but able to sense where I am. I follow her with my eyes, my fingers twitching with anticipation. She makes my smoke disappear and then goes to attack but I force her down onto the mat next to Bucky.

Almost immediately I let them go and step back. They both sit up and stare at each other while regaining their breath. My heart jumps when with fear at the thought that I might have gone too far but then they turn to me with a proud smile, “Good job!”

“You’re a quick learner kid,” Bucky says standing up.

I grin happily and nod. Wanda stands up next to him and says, “I think Peter wants you, why don’t you go spar with him?”

I bow my head and walk away over to where Cap and Peter were fighting. But not really fighting seeing as Peter was just trying to dodge Steve’s hits and Steve was just trying to catch him. I stand to the side and watch with a small smile gracing my lips as I watch. Steve turns his head over to the head slightly and he catches me standing to the side. He holds his hand up for Peter to stop and smiles at me, “Done already?”

I downcast my eyes and shrug shyly. Peter hurries over to me and I lean into his ear, “I learn fast.”

He nods and repeats, “She learns fast.”

Steve hums and nods his head, “Alright, well if you’re done here why don’t the two of you find Tony or Bruce to help with your lessons.”

Peter and I both scrunch our noses but nod and walk out of the gym slowly. Peter groans, “I can’t believe we have to have more lessons outside of school!”

You smile, “They just want us to be at our best.”

“I know,” he says with a pout. Peter’s happy expression returns quickly and he grins, “Why don’t you say we ditch class.”

“And do what?” I ask curiously.

“Well, maybe go out? But first,” he pulls at a piece of his shirt and sniffs it before scrunching his nose, “I think I need a shower.”

“Well, why don’t we clean up and then meet up in the living room,” I suggest. Peter nods and smiles, “Alright, meet you there.” The two of us part ways as I head into my room and he heads into his room that Tony had made for him whenever he stayed over. I hadn’t broken a sweat, it was barely a sparring session.

I change still, secretly wanting to look my best for Peter. I pull on the oversized shirt he had bought me and some new pants. I slip on my converse and pull my hair back into a ponytail. There was a knock on my door and I frowned before answering. Vision smiles politely, “Forgive me for the intrusion, I was wondering if you knew where Wanda was.”

I scrunch my brows before nodding and point down at the floor below us. “The gym?” He asks confused, “Who was she sparring with there?” I point to myself and he hums nodding, “Alright, well thank you.”

Smiling I nod and walk back into my room, shutting the door behind me and finish getting ready. Peter was waiting for me in the living room his hair wet from the short shower he had taken. He rushes forward and takes my hand pulling me towards the elevator, “Hurry, Mr. Stark is looking for us.”

Peter and I had gone to the mall and were currently eating frozen yogurt at a table together. “Are you going to prom,” I ask suddenly. Peter jumps seeing as I’ve been silent the entire time we’ve been out.

He scrunches his nose, “I don’t think the person I like is going.”

“Who is it?” I ask quickly, curiosity taking over as I felt slightly jealous. He smiles at me, “She’s nice.”

My shoulders slump slightly, “Yeah?”

“The sweetest girl I’ve ever known,” he says with a big grin.

My heart squeezes painfully and he kicks at my shoe. I glance up at him and he was smiling softly at me. “Who is it?” I ask again.

“It’s you, ya dork.”

I blink in shock, my face turning a rosy color. “Me?”

He chuckles and looks down at his the empty bowl in his hands, “Of course, who else would it be?”

“MJ?”

Peter snorts, “She’s not nice or sweet.”

“She’s…” I frown and Peter looks up at me through his lashes, “Not you.”

“Do you want to go to prom?” I ask.

He shrugs and looks back down, “Well I mean, I don’t want to without you. It’s not that im-”

“No. Peter do you want to go to prom? With me that is.”

He pauses before looking back up at me in confusion, “Are you asking me to prom?”

I flush and stutter out, “I…I think so?”

A grin grows wide across Peter’s face and quickly he nods, “Yeah. Yeah!”

Exhaling out a breath of relief I grin back, “Okay.”

***

I groan quietly to myself as I struggle with my dress, my arms not able to zip it up all the way. There was a knock on my door before Aunt May and Wanda steps in. “Do you need help,” May asks.

I give a small nod and turns so that my back was facing her. She smiles and zips it up before turning me around. “You look beautiful,” Wanda says with a smile. May nods in agreement and beams at me, “You do.”

“T-Thank you,” I say quietly, looking down at my covered feet. The dress was long and a dark red that had beautiful embroidery.

“Come on, Peter’ll love to see you.” Aunt May takes my hand and we walk out together. I could hear them already and when we walked out everyone was in the living room. All of their eyes were on me when I walk into their sight and they all smile but their smiles couldn’t match Peter’s.

“Oh wow,” he exhales, his eyes wide.

I didn’t blush, didn’t look down or away. I grin at him and slowly walk up to him. He was holding the corsage in his hands and when I reach him he grabs my hand puts it on. It had white orchids and baby breath flowers with a small pearl bracelet. I take the white rose buttonhole that Aunt May had been holding for me and place it on his tux. While this interaction happened there were multiple flashes of a camera from where Tony stood. He was beaming proudly from the sidelines.

“You look beautiful, Y/n,” Peter tells me.

I grin up at him, “Thank you, you look handsome.”

It was his turn to blush and he chuckles nervously. Tony steps in, “Alright scoot together you two, let’s get some pictures in.”

Peter huffs, “Tony.”

Tony pushes us together and I laugh lightly. Peter grins and wraps his arm around my waist, holding my hand with his free hand. “Good perfect,” Tony says while taking pictures.

“They aren’t even looking at the camera,” Aunt May chastises.

Tony shushes her, “They don’t need to, look at them. This is perfect.”

Peter and I were looking into each other’s eyes, a soft and happy smile on both of our lips. “Now how about a kiss?” Tony asks. Peter cups my face gently, “May I?”

I answer with a nod and he leans forward. My eyes fall shut as his soft lips meet mine, pressing against them gently. When we finally pull away and look around everyone was grinning wildly and some even cheered. “Finally,” Sam says, “it’s about time!”

A laugh falls from my lips and Peter’s grip on my waist tightens. I look up at him to see him smiling down at me. “Are you ready?” He asks.

“Always,” I respond.


	44. Worth the Wait

**Pairings: Fratboy!Peter Parker x Reader**

* * *

Stark bumps my shoulder and nods at her, “Come on, you gotta do something besides just staring at her, kid.” I puff out my cheeks and quickly shake my head, “N-No way.”

“Why not,” he says twisting so his torso faced me. I sigh and shake my head again, “She’d only say no, she’s not interested in a guy like me.” Stark frowns, a line forms between his brow as he stared at me, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I shrug and look back at her, she sat with two of my team-mates, Wanda and Natasha. They spoke in a lively manner, using their hands to speak, Wanda more so than the other two. I shake my head and sigh, leaning against my palm, “I don’t know.” Stark pauses for a moment, turning to face forward again while he muttered quietly under his breath. Frowning I look at him and raise a curious row, watching as his eyes fall shut and he continues to mutter. “Uh, Stark?”

“Shh,” he says holding up a finger.

Pursing my lips I lean back against my chair and continue watching him. Finally, Tony stops muttering and looks at me with wide eyes and a plan. I stiffen, “No.” He raises his brows and I shake my head, I repeat more firmly, “No.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” he says leaning forward.

I shrug, moving back and away from him, “Don’t care. No.”

“It’s just, well, I’ve heard that she’s struggling in Microbiology, maybe you can help her! Become buddies!”

I roll my eyes and scoff, “That’s not going to work, haven’t you heard? Y/n’s been shooting down every and any offer’s, even ones for just being friends.”

Tony hums and scratches his chin, “Well, you have something that she needs. If you’re convincing enough then maybe…”

“Tony,” I say exasperated, “I don’t want to be one of those jerks who act nice just to be with her.”

“Then don’t.”

I jump and turn to my right to see that Rogers had moved to sit next to me. He raises a brow and leans against the back of his chair, crossing his arms and frowning at Tony. “Don’t push the kid to do something he doesn’t want to.” Tony sighs and shrugs, “I’m sure he wouldn’t regret it.”

Rogers rolls his eyes and shakes his head before looking at me, then he looks over at where Y/n sat. “If you want any kind of shot with her, try being her friend first. And I mean being a friend first before being a potential love interest.” I groan and fall onto the table, tucking my face into my arms, “This is embarrassing.”

“Just try it,” Rogers says encouragingly, “You’ll never know until you give it a shot. Ask her after class.” Tony nods in agreement and I shoot them both a dirty look before sighing reluctantly and murmuring, “Fine.”

*

After class, Peter hesitates, he stares at Y/n nervously while she packed all of her stuff. Natasha, who was usually the first to leave, was holding back for some reason, staying behind. Y/n went to leave and Nat catches her arm. Frowning Y/n looks at her, “What?”

“Um,” Nat glances at Peter, “I just… hang on?”

Squinting Y/n nods hesitantly and sets her bag back down. Nat breathes out and while Y/n wasn’t looking gives Peter a pointed look. Peter groans and turns to glare at both the blonde headed man and the brunette. “You told Nat? How?”

Raising his brow, Tony holds up his phone and smirks, “Goodluck.”

Scowling, Peter watches as Tony and Steve leave. Right before the exit the door, Steve waves and hollers, “We’ll see you at practice!”

Y/n watches with confusion and then turns to look and ask Nat only to see she was gone too. Pouting she looks around the room and realizes that it’s only her and Peter now. Peter who was flushed all the way up to his ears. He smiles nervously at Y/n and swallows thickly, he approaches her quickly before she could lean and stutters out, “H-Hey, Y/n.”

Y/n looks up at him with a controlled expression, “Yes?”

“Tony told me that you were having some t-trouble with your microbiology. I was wondering if maybe you’d let me help you.”

“Um,” Y/n pulls back, grabbing her bag and pulling it over her shoulder. She looked everywhere but at Peter, “That sounds nice but… I can’t.”

“It’s just tutoring,” Peter says softly, “it doesn’t have to be anything more. I promise.”

Sighing Y/n peeks up at him and looks in his eyes to see a true genuine expression that she couldn’t doubt. Y/n takes a deep breath and looks down before looking back up, “Just tutoring?”

Peter nods and gives her a small smile, “That’s all, you can pick the place and time.”

Y/n nods slowly and then reaches into her back pocket to pull out her phone, “Here, for your number.” Smiling Peter takes it and quickly inputs his number, “Thanks.” Y/n nods and turns to walk out, just before she reaches the door she looks over her shoulder, “I’ll see you later, Peter.”

“Right,” Peter says smiling, feeling breathless, “later.”

*

“So,” Tony says jumping up from the bleaches, “how’d it go?”

“She said yes,” Peter says grinning, “to tutoring anyway.”

While Tony groans, Steve smiles and pats Peter’s shoulder, “Good job, Pete. Now let’s get to practicing. Lacrosse isn’t gonna play itself.”

*

Y/n lets her stuff fall onto her bed, she turns to glare at Nat and accuses, “You left me! You left me so that Peter Parker would talk to me!”

“And what did he say?” She asks not even batting an eye or looking up from the nail-polish on her toes, a scarlet color. Y/n huffs and crosses her arms, “He asked me if he could help me, be my tutor.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said no, at first,” Y/n says, her tense shoulders relax and she sighs, “then I said yes. Just to the tutoring though!”

Nat hums, she finally looks up from her toes and smiles at Y/n, “He’s a sweet kid, smart too.”

“I’m not looking for a-”

“He didn’t ask for one, did he?”

Y/n pauses, her arms fall slack to her sides, “No.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about,” Nat says calmly, “like I said, he’s a sweet kid.”

Huffing, Y/n falls onto the bed and lets her eyes fall shut. “Right, well at least now I won’t fail Microbiology.” She hears Nat chuckle and peeks her eyes open to look at her, Nat looks at her from the side and grins. Pressing her lips together, Y/n sighs and pushes herself back up, she nods to Nat’s toes, “You wanna do me next?”

Still grinning, Natasha nods, “Of course.” She pats the empty space at the end of her bad, “Hop on.”

*

It was late, and Y/n couldn’t help but think about Peter. He had been kind and kept himself aware of how she felt. But he’s apart of the Avengers Frat, the infamous team of troublemakers. Y/n thinks back to how Banner had pushed Natasha away, how hurt and distant she was after. And then there was Stark, everything about his relationship with Pepper had looked perfect, but it became too focused on the team. Or that’s what Y/n heard. Sighing, Y/n shakes her head and pulls her knees in close to her chest. _There’s no point in dwelling on it,_ she thought, _he’s just helping me pass microbiology. Nothing more._

*

“Y/n.”

Peter stood over the girl who looked exhausted, he looks at her with worry and confusion and crouches down in front of her, “Class is over, do you want to head to the library or do the tutoring some other time?”

She picks her head up to look at him bleary-eyed and mumbles, “Can we just do it at my place?”

Peter raises a subtly brow and hides the way he’s taken aback by it. Just yesterday she had clearly not been comfortable with the idea of him and her being anywhere but public. Hesitantly Peter nods and whispers a soft, “Okay. Well, let’s go then.” Groaning, Y/n sits up and grabs her back, sluggishly pulling it on and squints at Peter before sighing and gesturing for him to follow, “Let’s go then, it’s not too far away.”

To Peter’s surprise, it really wasn’t that far away. It only took them a few minutes of walking to get to her dormitory. Y/n fumbles with her key’s her brows knitting with concentration as she tried blinking past the heaviness of her eyes. Finally, to her relief, she hears the click and pushes the door open, briskly walking into her room. Peter does the same slowly and cautiously, he looks around the room curiously. Then there was the sound of a throat clearing and he looks at the source of it, his eyes widen with shock. 

“Natasha?”

Nat smiles at him and tilts her head, “Why hello, Parker.”

He looks at Y/n who hardly seemed to react and watches as she smiles sleepily at him while she plopped down onto the bed. “You’re roommates with her?” Peter asks Y/n, pointing at Natasha. Y/n stares for a moment before nodding and humming, “Mhm.”

“I knew you were friends but…” He looks at Natasha again who only responds by giving him a cat-like grin, he turns and faces Y/n, “I didn’t know you were this close.”

Shrugging Y/n replies, “Not many do.”

“R-Right.”

“Let’s get started then,” Y/n grins at Peter and pats the empty spot beside her.

Peter smiles nervously and nods, “Alright.”

*

Time passed quickly and went unnoticed as the time spent together went from a tutor session to simply hanging out. Nat had left once again to go to the Frat house and that left Peter and Y/n to themselves.

“That was nice of Stark to fight for you like he did,” Y/n says grinning at Peter.

Peter nods and smiles down at his hands, “Yeah, I try to be thankful for it every day. If not for him, I don’t think I’d be here.”

“Where would you be?” Y/n asks curiously.

Peter shrugs and frowns, “I don’t know, honestly. Not here, that’s for sure. That’d suck because then I would never have met you.” Peter freezes as the words leave him but Y/n hardly reacts besides the widening of her smile. She blushes and shakes her head, looking down at her lap before looking back up at him again, “Thank you.”

Peter clears his throat and chuckles nervously, “It’s true, I-I don’t think I’ve met anyone as nice as you since being here.”

Y/n grins at Peter and leans against her wall, “That’s sweet of you to say, Peter.” Her phone chimes off and she picks it up with a frown, “Oh.” Peter gives her a quizzical look and she sighs, “Nat just texted me, she said that Tony’s been trying to get a hold of you. Said that they needed you for something.” Peter scrunches his nose and sighs standing up, “I guess that means I’ve got to go.”

“Suppose so,” Y/n murmurs feeling a slight bit of disappointment. Peter picks up his things and breathes out softly before shyly saying, “Thank you, for letting me stay. I’ll see you later?”

Y/n nods, “Of course. Y/n waves her phone in the air before dropping her hand, "Text me.” She winks playfully at him and Peter’s heart shoots through the roof. He stumbles over his words as he walks out and decides on simply waving goodbye. Laughing softly Y/n waves back and watches as Peter shuts the door. But then he’s gone and another wave a disappointment washes over her.

*

**Three Weeks Later**

*

“Hey, Y/n.”

Y/n looks up from her book to smile at Peter who was in his Lacrosse uniform. He spins in a slow circle, “How do I look?”

“Good,” she says chuckling. Dropping her book she pulls at her own shirt, “How’s mine?” Peter reads her shirt and his face envelops in flames, “You’re wearing my numbers?”

“Of course,” Y/n says chuckling, “I’m your number one fan.”

Peter chuckles and looks back at where the team was huddled, “I should get back.” He looks at her with a quirked brow, “Are you staying for the entire game?”

Y/n nods her head, “Yeah! I want to be here for your win.”

“You don’t know that we’re going to win.” Y/n raises her brow and leans forward, “You’re going to win.” Chuckling Peter nods and looks down at his feet, he peers back up at her, “If I get the winning shot, could I maybe get a congratulatory kiss on the cheek?” Y/n hums, squinting at him for a moment, “You’ll just have to win and see.”

“Parker,” the coach hollers, “let’s go.”

Peter nods and grins at Y/n before he runs to join the rest of the team. Wanda sits next to Y/n and bumps Y/n with her own shoulder, “I saw that.” Y/n gives her a confused look, “What?”

“You two have become close,” Wanda murmurs with amusement, “ _very_ close.”

“We’re _friends_.” Y/n says making sure that ‘friends’ was apparent. Wanda giggles and shakes her head, “You like him, and he likes you. Why are you holding back?” Y/n bites on her lip and shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“If there’s no real reason,” Wanda whispers, “then maybe you should give him more than just a kiss on the cheek.”

Y/n grins at the idea and slowly nods, “Yeah, maybe.”

*

They won, the other team didn’t even come close. And, Peter made the winning goal. Everyone was celebrating and he jogged over to laugh with Y/n while excitedly declaring, “I did it!” Y/n stands from her spot on the bleachers, laughing as he jumped up and down. “You did!” She exclaims. Peter laughs and pulls her into a tight hug, then suddenly pulls away embarrassed. “S-Sorry,” he stutters.

Smiling, Y/n shakes her head and cups his cheeks, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.” Then, she pulls him down and gently presses a kiss to Peter’s lips. When she pulls away Peter looks at her with a shocked expression, “Y-You kissed me.” Y/n smiles softly, “Congratulations, Peter.”


	45. Best of Friends to Best of Loves

**Pairings: Peter Parker x Chubby!Reader**

* * *

Y/n knocks on Peter’s apartment door while humming quietly to herself, she and he had a study session planned for this evening. No internship work tonight. That’s what he had promised. She bounces on her heels as she waits for someone to answer the door and when they don’t she frowns and tried again, this time knocking a bit harder.

After a few moments, the door opens and May peeks her head out, she smiles widely when she sees Y/n standing on the other side of the door. “Hi, I didn’t know that you were coming over this evening.”

Y/n nods and smiles, stepping into the apartment when May allowed it. “Peter and I are supposed to study tonight.”

May pauses and glances at Peters door, “Tonight?”

Y/n looks up from shrugging her jacket off, pausing. “Is there something wrong? He promised that we’d do it.”

May presses her lips together into a frown and rests her hands on her hips, “Did he?”

“Yeah, he said no internship stuff tonight.” Y/n sighs and pulls the jacket back on. “Should I just leave?” She asks softly, shooting a glance at Peter’s bedroom door.

“No.” May shakes her head and takes your hand, pulling you towards her and spinning you around so that she could pull off your jacket. “It’s just… Mr. Stark is here, with him.”

“Oh?” Y/n inquires, crossing her arms.

“I didn’t know that Mr. Stark came here.”

“He doesn’t,” May murmurs, “usually. This is only the second or third time.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose, I’m sure it’s important.”

“Please, stay.” That was not May. Y/n’s eyes widen at the familiar voice, the one shes forced to listen to during gym and all her other classes at some point. Grimacing, Y/n looks up to see the friendly face of no one other than Captian America.

She swallows nervously, glancing at May who could only give her a sympathetic look. “O…kay.” Y/n sits down at the table and internally groans when he does the same.

“You’re friends with Peter I take it?”

“Yeah…” Y/n avoids looking into his eyes, nervous to see how he might be looking at her. She instinctively pulls her shirt away from her soft belly and hunches over slightly trying to hide herself from him.

“I’m sorry if we derailed any kind of plans.” You see a hand stick itself out in front of you, you follow it’s arm until you’re looking up at him. “My name’s Steve.”

A laugh gets stuck in her throat as she takes his hand to shake it, of course, she knew his name. “I’m Y/n,” Y/n replies quietly, giving him a faint smile.

“Would you like something to eat, Y/n?” May asks, pulling her attention from the very keen eyes of the 'Cap’ or Steve.

She blinks up at May and shakes her head quickly, mustering up a quiet and weak, “No thank you.”

“So,” Y/n says, swallowing as she turns to look back at Steve. “What kind of internship does Peter have that involves… you?”

“We’re just pals,” Steve says smoothly. “I met him through Tony, I happened to be traveling with Tony tonight and he wanted to make a stop here. I got invited inside and now here I am.”

“Is there…” Y/n hesitates, glancing back at where Steve appeared from, “anyone else?”

“Just me and Tony,” Steve answers.

“Ah.” Y/n nods and gives Steve another small smile, looking down to fiddle with her fingers. Steve’s eyes don’t leave her and he can sense that she’s feeling uncomfortable. He glances up at May who can only shake her head, May turns to the kitchen and continues moving about in it while all three waited for Peter and Tony to come out of Peter’s room.

Nearly fifteen minutes pass when they finally come out. Peter sees Y/n and Steve sitting next to each other and his eyes widen with both shock and surprise. “Y/n!” He rushes forward and stands next to you, “I forgot, I’m so sorry.”

Y/n shrugs and waves it off, “I wasn’t waiting for that long.”

“Still,” Peter rubs his arm sheepishly, “I’m sorry. I promised.”

Steve stands up and claps Steve on his shoulder. Surprisingly, Peter doesn’t look too affected by that, even though Y/n winces at the sound it makes. He smiles happily up at the large man and says, “Thanks for dropping by.”

“It was my pleasure,” Steve responds. He looks down at Y/n, who was still sitting, and nods his head, “It was nice meeting you as well, I’m sure we’ll bump into each other again so until then.”

Y/n smiles politely, “Until then.”

Tony glances down at you and gives you a smile, “You must be the Y/n I hear so much about.”

Y/n straightens her back and glances at Peter who gave her an anxious smile, she looks back at him and smiles. “I guess so,” she replies.

“If you keep up your grades the way you are,” Tony says as he walks to the door, he glances over his shoulder at her, “there might be a spot available for you once you graduate.” He winks and then walks out along with Steve and then the door shuts, they’re gone. Y/n stares at the door unblinking and it takes her a moment to turn and look at Peter who was bouncing in once spot excitedly. “Did he just offer me a job?” Y/n questions, feeling perplexed.

Peter laughs and jumps, “Yeah!”

“What?” Y/n buries her face into her hands and groans loudly.

“You two go study while I finish up dinner, okay?”

Peter and Y/n both nod and move to walk into his room. Once they’re in, Y/n shuts the door and bars herself in front of it, narrowing her eyes at Peter. “You can’t fool me, Parker.”

Peter’s smile falls and he stares nervously at Y/n. “What?”

“What’s going on?” Y/n steps forward while Peter backs up and away from her.

“I… don’t know?”

“Captain-Freaking-America was in your apartment! Iron Man was in your room!” Y/n exclaims. She presses her lips together and shakes her head, breathing roughly out of her nose. Y/n’s hands clench and she shuts her eyes so she can relax.

“Y-Y/n?”

“You’re my best friend,” Y/n says slowly, opening her eyes to stare at Peter. “So, I think I already know _why_ they’re here. But… why don’t you just tell me? I thought we were best friends.”

Peter huffs and tucks his hands beneath his armpits, working his jaw as he thinks. He glances up at a sad looking Y/n and sighs, “It’s… complicated, Y/n. I can’t tell you about the internship, not specifics anyways.”

“But it’s not an internship, right?” Y/n asks, stepping forward. “It’s a recruitment.” Y/n watches as Peter tried controlling his expression, but he can’t control how he pales in response to her accusation. She sighs, “You’ve been recruited by the Avengers, haven’t you?”

“N-No.” Peter shakes his head and stumbles forward, reaching out to you. “Please, Y/n-”

“I love you, Peter. You know that right?” Y/n smiles gently and catches Peter’s hands in her own, holding onto them tightly. “I mean if you don’t want to tell me then fine. I’ll pretend I’m wrong for you but… just stay safe. Okay?”

Peter sighs softly and looks down at their hands clasped together, he looks up at her and gives her a short nod. “Okay,” he whispers.

Nodding at that, Y/n grabs her back and moves them towards his bed. “Then let’s study, I need to pass that test tomorrow if I want to land a job at Stark Enterprise.” Peter pauses, staring at the spot that Y/n had been standing in. He swallows thickly and turns to look at her, seeing how she’d planted herself on his bottom bunk and was leaning against the wall. Her backpack pulled up and onto her lap while she takes her books and study sheets out. She was smiling, humming a tune softly to herself while she works on getting ready to study.

Peter continues staring at her for a moment, it was hard for him to believe that she would let it drop so easily. Ned wouldn’t do that, not by a long shot. He realizes that perhaps she recognized how panicked he was becoming, she knows though. He knows that she knows. As long as Tony doesn’t know that she knows, and he doesn’t figure out Peter knew that she knew and Peter tried to make it so the Tony and the other’s didn’t know everything should be fine. Right?

*

Since that night, Y/n and Peter became much closer. Peter realized how important that Y/n was to him, how he feels when she’s around him and how much he cares about what keeps her safe. Peter would do anything to keep her safe. 

Y/n was walking down the street, on her way home from Peter’s house when she hears a loud grunt and a bang in the alleyway right next to her. She freezes, turning to look at it with wide eyes as the groaning continued loudly. She hesitates at the edge of the alley and pulls her jacket closer to herself. “Hello?” She calls out, peering in curiously. “Are you alright?” Someone groans in response and there’s another loud bang.

Sighing, Y/n steps forward and chuckles when she sees someone clad in a red and blue suit hanging from one of his webs; it was attached to his foot to what seems to be, prevent him from falling. She shakes her head at him and tilts her head. “What are you doing?”

“Making sure that you get home alright?” He answers sounding hesitant. He chuckles nervously and huffs out roughly.

“Are you alright?” Y/n asks stepping forward until they were face to face.

“Yup.” He grunts as he tries reaching up to grab at the web attached to his foot.

Y/n giggles and chews on the inside of her cheek. “Is there anything that I can do?”

“Um… yeah,” He nods and puts his hands on his hips, he points to a spot by the wall. “Stand there and don’t look at me so that I can keep a part of my dignity.”

“Come on now,” Y/n teases, pulling at the edge of his mask, slowly revealing the skin beneath it. “There’s no need to hide from me.”

He stiffens, stilling as Y/n continues to pull the mask down until only the lower part of his face is exposed. He clears his throat and smiles anxiously at her, “Watch'ya doing?” Y/n brushes her fingers gently across his skin and smiles softly at him.

“Thank you,” she murmurs gently, “for keeping an eye on me.” She leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek before tugging the mask back onto his face and stepping back. She grins gently and continues backing away out of the alley, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay Peter?”

“R-Right.” As Y/n disappears around the corner, Peter slowly brings his hand up to where her lips had pressed against his skin, he smiles softly and laughs quietly. “Right.”

*

Peter walks into the cafeteria, eyes scanning the room for Y/n. He frowns when he sees their usual table surrounded by kids that don’t usually talk to either of them. He catches a glimpse of Y/n who was frowning and looked extremely uncomfortable. He hurries forward and pushes past the kids to see one of the popular girls talking with MJ.

He kneels down next to Y/n and asks, “Are you alright?”

She shakes her head and quickly answers, “No.”

Peter nods and takes Y/n by her hand, pulling her up and out of her seat and moving them further down the table, he catches a glimpse of MJ frowning at him but ignores her and focuses on Y/n. “What’s going on?”

Y/n shrugs, “I don’t… know really. MJ sat down in front of me and started asking about you and your internship, she wanted to know if there was another reason you quit the decathlon team.” Y/n pauses to take a deep breath and massage the side of her arm. “Then a few kids came to talk to her, the group kept growing and growing until we were surrounded. I heard them talking about me, asking why MJ was hanging out with a 'girl like me’.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter murmurs, brushing a loose strand of hair from Y/n’s face. “Are you alright now?”

Y/n smiles and looks up at Peter, “Yeah.” She nods and her smile widens even further, “I am now.”

*

Peter plays with the box in his hand nervously, toying with it as he sits in the back of the car anxiously.

“Are you alright, kid?”

Peter looks up to see both his aunt and Tony staring at him, smiling at him. He swallows the knot forming in his throat and nods, “Y-Yeah, I think so. I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t worry,” May says reaching back to pat his leg. “Go on.”

Peter nods and steps out of the car, walking up the steps that lead to the house and taking a deep breath before he knocks on the door. It took a moment for the door to open and when it does he’s greeted by Y/n’s mother. “Peter, hello! She’s almost ready.”

“O-Okay.”

She leads Y/n into the living room and coaxes him to stand by the wall so that she could take his pictures. “I’ll send these to your aunt,” she says holding up the camera.

Peter relaxes a bit and nods, “She’ll like that.”

“Peter?”

He turns to look in the direction of Y/n’s voice, whatever response he had died in his throat at the sight of her. Y/n giggles softly as her reaction and ducks her head down before peeking up at him, “Do I…. do I look okay?”

“You look great,” Peter answers breathlessly.

“Promise?”

Peter smiles and steps forward, taking her by her hand and pulling her into a tight hug. “I promise,” he says, smiling when she hugs him back just as tight.

Y/n leans back to smile up at him, “Good.”

Peter stares down at her and knows in the second what he’s got to do. He turns to look at Y/n’s parents who were watching with proud and happy smiles before looking back down at her. “I think…” he starts, speaking slowly, “I think I really want to kiss you.”

Y/n’s cheeks brighten but she smiles softly and takes a deep breath, “I’m not going to stop you.”

“Good,” he says, his voice was hardly above a whisper. Peter leans forward, cupping Y/n’s cheeks and kissing her softly. It was a gentle, sweet, and chaste kiss that filled both up with warmth and made their hearts beat a mile a minute. When Peter pulls away it feels too soon, but he feels all too much the eyes that were piercing his back. He turns to smile sheepishly at her father before looking back down at Y/n.

She smiled at him and giggled softly before bringing her thumb up to his lips and dragging it across them gently, “Your lips are a little… pink.”

Peter laughs and lets her wipe it off before they both exchange sweet words and Peter puts on her corsage and she puts on his boutonniere. Pictures were taken and then they rushed to the car, excited to finally go to Homecoming.


	46. Drop In

**Pairings: Peter Parker x Reader**

* * *

“Peter?" 

Y/n tries blinking away the sleep when she hears her window slowly open and then closes. She tries blinking through the darkness to see who was in her room. 

"I’m here,” she hears. He sounds tired and in pain. Y/n hears him grimace and groan, the sound of fabric falling onto the carpet floor. 

“What’s wrong?” Y/n sits up quickly and reaches for where she last heard him. She finds his wrist and wraps her hand gently around it pulling him to her. “Peter, what’s wrong?”

Peter laughs weakly and leans down next to her, laying across her bed. Y/n, alarmed, reaches across his body to turn on her light. Looking down she gasps when she sees his body covered in cuts and bruises. Pulling at his arm as gently as she could, Y/n pulls Peter over so that he was lying on his back. She sighs and groans at Peter’s battered face. 

Reaching up, Y/n traces the injuries with her fingers lightly. Peter hums and gives her half a smile before mumbling, “That feels good.”

She laughs softly and continues, “Are you okay?”

“It’ll go away in a few days,” Peter answers. “Can I stay here with you till then?”

“Yeah,” Y/n says, she nods and chuckles softly. “Is there anything that I can do? To make you feel better?”

Peter inhales deeply and only hums in response. 

“What about a shower? Or a bath?”

“Shower. Make it warm?” Peter asks he sounds like he’s on the brink of sleep.

“Of course.” Y/n stands up, tip-toeing across her room and walking into her bathroom. She pushes the door open and turns on the lights, sighing softly as she steps up to the shower. She hears Peter groan out softly and peeks to see that he’s pushed himself up and was leaning his heads into his palms. She turns and starts the water, turning on the shower. 

Walking back into the bedroom, Y/n kneels in front of Peter in-between his legs. “Do you need help?”

“I’m trying to muster up the courage to ask you if you can shower with me.”

Y/n leans back on her heels and tilts her head at him questioningly. “Yeah?”

“With clothes,” he adds quickly. “I just… don’t think I’m gonna be able to do it alone.”

“Okay,” Y/n says with a nod. She stands up and holds her hands out for Peter to take, “Let me help you up then.” Peter looks up and smiles tiredly before giving her his hands and letting her pull him up. 

“Ow,” Peter grimaces and leans again Y/n.

Y/n holds on tightly to him, putting his arm over her shoulder and holding him up while they stumble towards the bathroom. Y/n leads Peter to the toilet and sets him down on the lid. “Okay,” Y/n breathes. “Let’s check the water.” She turns away and holds her hand underneath the steady stream, she nods and sighs. 

“It’s warm?”

Y/n smiles at Peter and says, “Yup, time to get in.”

Peter smiles back and stands up weakly, Y/n watches nervously when his legs tremble underneath him. But he holds himself up using the sink counter, looking up at Y/n and nodding before saying, “I’m okay.”

“Okay,” Y/n replies. She takes a deep breath before shimmying her pants off, taking note of how Peter swallows thickly and looks up and away from her. She had gone to reach for her shirt but pauses before deciding that it’s best to just leave the clothes that she has on, on. 

“You can look, Peter.” Y/n smiles reassuringly, “It’s just my legs.”

Peter looks back at you and gives her a short nod. She helps him into the shower before following behind and closing the curtain. This is New York and the showers aren’t that big so Y/n and Peter are pressed together just a little. 

“If I wasn’t in so much pain, I’d be so embarrassed right now,” Peter says with a light chuckle before groaning softly. 

Y/n laughs and shakes her head, “There’s no reason to be embarrassed, Pete.” She reaches back out of the shower to grab one of the washcloths that were on the towel rack before getting the soap that she knows Peter loves. She holds the cloth up questioningly before asking, “May I?”

“Please.” Peter leans his forehead down on Y/n’s shoulder and sighs softly when she reaches around him to gently rub circles in his back. 

“Is this okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Good.”

*

After the shower and Peter was cleaned up, Y/n helped him get dressed in some of the clothes he stashed at her place. Peter collapses onto her bed with a thump, reaching up at Y/n with grabby hands. 

Y/n scoffs and grins, chuckling softly she climbs into the bed and next to him. “You’re a child,” she tells him. 

He laughs in response and pulls her into his chest. “Thank you for letting me drop in.”

"Hm, you know I’m here for you.”

“Yeah,” Peter sighs.

“Go to sleep, Peter.”


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Don't roll your eyes at me, it's almost Christmas."

**Pairings:** **Dean x Reader**

* * *

Dean has been in a bad mood. The last day he has been trudging around and grumbling underneath his breath. Now, Y/n wasn't having it. He might be her boyfriend but she was not going to let his foul mood ruin her Christmas spirit. In an attempt to up the mood, Y/n had started decorating the bunker for the season. After hanging the last of the tinsel, Y/n stands back to admire her work.

"There!" she exclaims, beaming proudly. She hears a scoff from behind her and turns to see Dean looking at both her and the decorations with an unimpressed look. Turning, Y/n squints at him and puts her hands on her hips. "And what are you scoffing at?"

Dean groans and rolls his head to the side, "Nothing babe." 

Pouting, Y/n turns to look at the decorations, "Is something wrong with it?" 

Dean stares at her for a moment. Y/n's shoulders have started to deflate a little. He grimaces and pulls at his shirt, "It looks good, hon. You did a great job." He looks up to see her staring at him with an unsure look. Quirking his brows, Dean smiles widely at her, "Really."

Inhaling deeply, Y/n nods and smiles softly, "Alright."

*

Dean's mood turns foul once again the next day. Sam was gone with Castiel doing a hunt together. Y/n had managed to convince Dean to stay with her on this one. She had a plan that was surely going to lift his mood. So, that day, Dean went to lie down and take a nap. While he slept she worked in the kitchen to make a feast. "This better cheer him up," Y/n grumbles. The table is nicely made and once the food is finished cooking, it's placed in the center of the table.

"Okay." Y/n makes her way back to their bedroom and peeks into the dark room. Dean's soft snores reach her ears and Y/n smiles softly. Tiptoeing forward, she crawls up the bed and reaches for him, finding his arm. "Dean?" She speaks softly and shakes his shoulder gently, "Baby?"

"Hm?" Dean turns in his sleep, his hand stretched out to find her. Y/n catches his hand before he could accidentally smack her in her face. Dean wraps his fingers around Y/n's hand and pulls it to his lips before tucking into his chest. "What's wrong?"

Y/n's face flushes slightly at Dean's sleepy voice. It was deeper than usual and gruffer. It made her heart flutter wildly in her chest. Before answering his question, Y/n leans forward and carefully presses a kiss to the corner of Dean's lips. He moves to kiss her properly but Y/n pulls away before he could. "Do you think you could get up and come eat with me?"

"Eat?"

"I made dinner." 

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." Y/n uses the hand that Dean held tightly to pull him up to a sitting position. "I went all out." 

"Give me a kiss and then I'll get up," Laughing, Y/n complies willingly. She leans forward and graces his lips teasingly which entices a growl from him. "Don't tease," he growls lowly. Dean pulls Y/n closer by her waist and pecks her jaw, then her cheek, and finally he gets to his main goal. The kiss is sweet and slow, it pulls a soft sigh from Y/n and almost makes her forget about the meal waiting for them. Almost. Sighing, Y/n reluctantly pulls away from Dean. "Hey." Dean's voice is low and protesting. He pulls at her hand to come back to him.

"You said you'd get up, Dean," Y/n reminds.

He groans but nods. "It better be one hell of a dinner, baby."

"Oh, it is," Y/n giggles.

She helps Dean up and wiggles excitedly as she leads him to the dinner. When they get to the front room, Dean slows to a stop. "Oh wow." Dean laughs softly and looks at the arrangement, "Wow, Y/n. You made all this?"

"Just for you," Y/n nods.

"Why for me?" Dean wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. Y/n hums and twists around in his arms so that she was facing him. Peering up at Dean, she smiles softly and brings her hands up to cup his face gently. 

"You've been in a sour mood," she murmurs, "I wanted to perk you up."

Dean laughs and brushes his lips against Y/n's neck, inhaling deeply. "You did good, baby."

"Good," Y/n grins. 

"Let's eat!" Dean pulls away from Y/n, spins her around, and pulls her along to the table excitedly. 

*

"Hey, Dean." Y/n walks up to Dean who was sitting at the table. She rests her hands onto her shoulder when she gets to him and gives them a small squeeze before leaning down to kiss his jaw. "It's late, why don't you come to bed." Standing back up, Y/n takes the few short steps to walk around him and lean against the table. "I'll make it worth your time," she promises suggestively, giving him a sideways grin and tilting her head.

Dean pauses, he looks up from the book he was reading to stare at her for a moment. His lips pressed together in a thin line as he exhales slowly and shakes his head. "Can't, not right now." He doesn't catch the fall of Y/n's smile as he looks back down and starts reading.

Y/n whines and stomps her foot, "Why?"

"Because I want to look more into this." Dean glances back up at her and gives her a soft smile, "Don't look at me like that. I'll be in bed later."

Y/n opens her mouth to protest but then shuts it right back up. Her eyes are distant as she thinks of something but it's another thing that Dean's failed to notice. Humming softly, Y/n pushes herself from the table and walks away towards the bedroom. "I know exactly what will make you come."

Dean thinks that she's given in and went to bed. Y/n's been gone for a while. He doesn't expect the sound of heels clicking against the floor and tenses for a moment. Spinning to face the source of the sound, Dean freezes. Y/n walks toward him with a mischievous grin. Dean let's out a surprised laugh and shakes his head before rolling his eyes.

" **Don't roll your eyes at me, it's almost Christmas**."

Dean chuckles and clears his throat before nodding. "Sorry..." Dean stops and tilts his head, eyeing her up and down before saying questioningly, "Mrs. Clause?"

Y/n giggles softly and spin in a circle, "Do you like it?"

Y/n's hair was tied back in a high ponytail, she had on Dean's favorite colored lipstick, and she wore lingerie. She wore a babydoll set that had sheer lace all the way through and faux fur that brushed against Y/n's thighs. Underneath, Dean could see the red, strapless bra that she wore and the thong to match it. And to finish, the last article of clothing was red thigh high stockings with faux fur at the top and a red bow tied around. 

"W-When did you, um, get... this," Dean asks, gesturing to her. His face getting hotter by the seconds.

Humming, Y/n shrugs and looks down while grinning. She pulls at the skirt, spreading it out, showing more skin. Dean struggled to stay composed. "Well, you kept on getting all bummed out and in a bad mood. So, I thought this would be a good thing to use if it happened again."

"If I'd known that all I had to do to get this was act a little grumpy," Dean stops to laugh. 

Peering up at him, Y/n gins playfully, "Well... you wanna come to bed now?" Dean gets up, leaving the book forgotten on the table. He rushes to Y/n and cups her cheeks to kiss her before hoisting her up. A surprised laugh slips from Y/n as he does and she wraps her legs around him. 

"Let's go," Dean whispers, nipping the sensitive skin on Y/n's neck playfully.


	48. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam x reader x dean, the reader and boys are dating and when Cas comes to visit he reveals to the boys that the reader is an archangel who has been hiding and the boys get upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and cut off because I've tried writing this a thousand times and this is the best it's gonna get.

Everything had been _fine_. It was perfect. They would have never known. 

I had been making dinner. Sam told me to make extra because they were having a close friend come over for a visit. That last plate was being set on the table when their guest arrived. "Hey, babe," Dean calls, "Cas is here."

I stall, eyes frozen on the plate that was still in my hands. The blood rushes from my face. Sam was helping me and notices it. He sets down the last glass and makes his way to me, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me to his chest. "What's wrong?" he asks softly, nuzzling my cheek. I sigh into his touches and lean against him, letting the plate slide from my fingers.

"Um," I exhale roughly. "I-I need to, uh, go to the bathroom. Do you think you could finish up?"

"Yeah," Sam lets me go and when I turn to face him, he gives me a dimpled smile. I give him a nervous one in exchange before spinning on my foot and rushing to the bathroom. 

"Shit," I whisper angrily, "shit, shit, shit, shit." Groaning, I bury my face into my hands and moan out. Grimacing, I pick my head back up and stare at my reflection. I was pale-faced and clearly looked panicked. I don't like it. "M-Maybe he won't say anything?" I sound so hopeful but I know Castiel. I _know_." A knock on the bathroom door makes me jump and gasp. I spin to stare at it, not really wanting to face the people outside of it.

Dean's voice comes through, it was soft and concerned. "Baby, are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine!" I say over cheerfully. "Just freshening up. I'll be out in a sec, okay?"

"Alright." I wait for a moment as I listen to his footsteps fade back into the dining room. Staring back at my reflection, I glare at the person that I see. Leveling my eyes I growl at her, "You should have told the truth from the start." It's too late now. Inhaling deeply, I turn the faucet on and splash some water on my face, then drying my face off. Without thinking about it, I twist the knob open and force myself to walk out. I can hear the sound of people talking in the dining room, Dean saying something and Sam laughing loudly in response. Slowly, I step out and plaster a smile on my face, "Hey boys."

Dean and Sam look up and smile at me. "Hey baby," Dean says, holding his hand out for me. He leads me to the seat in-between he and Sam. "This is Cas," Dean looks over at my brother with an excited grin. 

Castiel just stared at me. I smiled awkwardly at him and nod my head, "Hello, Cas..."

I see him glance at Sam, then at Dean with a confused expression. Dean sees it and frowns, "Is something wrong, buddy?"

"No," Castiel says, his lips turning down. He looks back at me and tilts his head as if curious, "Why did you come here, Y/n? Was it not safe any longer in heaven?"

I choke on my breath and catch Dean's head snapping towards Castiel. "What?" He asks.

Sam's fingers graze my arm and I slowly turn to look up at him with a reluctant and shamed expression, my brows knit together. "What is he talking about?"

"I-" Suddenly I was out of breath, laughing humourlessly I shake my head and bite my lip before finishing, "I am a, um, an angel."

Dean's head snaps back at me, "What?"

"This was not how I had planned dinner," I murmur.

"Y/n," Dean's voice was stiff and when I peek at him he was looking at me in the worse way. Stern and disappointed. His jaw locked. 

I grimace and look away, shamed. "I... I was hiding when you found me."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about? Heaven?" Sam grabs me by my chin with gentle fingers and makes me look at him. "Are you... are you an angel?"

"Yes." I'm breathless, unable to look away from his eyes. As the word slips past my lips I could almost see something break behind them. Maybe it was his trust. Immediately, he lets go of me and I can see him becoming guarded.

"You used us?"

The question completely derails me. I look over at Dean who couldn't look more furious. "What?" I couldn't speak any louder than a whisper. "What did you say?"

"Did you _use_ us?" Dean glowers at me.

"No!" I turn to face towards him, "Why would you think that?"

He shrugs, "You needed a place to stay safe, happened to bump into us-" Dean cuts himself off with a sharp exhale and shakes his head, "I knew angels could be ruthless but this is a whole other level."

"Dean, no! Please, it wasn't like that at all! I didn't tell the two of you because I thought it would keep you safer than if you knew."

"No," Castiel interjects. When I look at him, it surprises me to see him looking upset. "Tell the truth, Y/n. Tell them why you weren't honest from the start."

"I-I did, Castiel. I-"

Again he interrupts, "That's not the reason and you know it."

Sighing softly, I look down at my hands that were folded in my lap. "I... I don't know..." Scrunching my face I shake my head, "I know how much the two of you distrust the supernatural. I had fully intended on telling you the moment I had the chance but... before I could, I realized that you were treating me differently. I've only ever been treated like a threatening force. It was nice when someone was comfortable enough to joke around with me and be comfortable around me in general. The two of you treated me like a human. And then you liked me like one too."

"Loved." Sam corrects. "We don't just like you, Y/n. We love you."

"I know." I groan. Bringing my hands up to my face, I moan guiltily. 

"Do you love us? Or were you using us for the experience."

The question makes me cringe and my stomach rolls just at the thought. "Of course I love you," I sigh, my hands falling to my lap. "I used to never be able to understand what the interest was in loving a human and why my brothers and sisters would do it. Now I do. If I had to choose between you and heaven, I'd choose you a million times over."


	49. Ch. 1 Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age Inquisition, Solas Fanfiction.

Solas was traveling with the Inquisitor once again. The attack on Haven was a hard blow and they were in desperate need for healing potions and unfortunately, all of their resources were being used up quickly. 

"We must hurry," Cole says, following closely behind the Inquisitor. His eyes were glassy and distant, still attached to the feelings of the injured that they had left behind.

"We are, Cole," the Inquisitor murmurs, looking over his shoulder to give a small comforting smile the young man. "We're almost finished."

"It would never hurt to get extra," Cassandra says, bending down to pick up some more elfroot. "No doubt the healers would appreciate it."

"I'm inclined to agree," Solas says, crossing his arms behind his back.

The inquisitor sighs, "That will mean we won't be able to search the caves." Solas grimaces internally, he had forgotten about that. How could he? "But you're right. Maybe we'll be able to return on a later trip?"

Idiot! Solas scolds himself. He was so close to finding her and he had to open his mouth. How thoughtless of himself. Solas slows to a stop next to another elfroot plant, he bends down to pick it up. "Inquisitor..."

The young man turns to look at the elf who's brows had remained pinched the entire trip. "Yes?"

"Forgive me, I find the task of getting elfroot and other healing ingredients important but... but can I stay behind?"

"To explore the caves?" The inquisitor's brows draw together, "Was the thing you need to find that important?"

"Yes," Solas exhales. _Very important_. "Please."

The Inquisitor makes a face and scratches the side of his jaw, "I guess that's fine, you're free to do as you wish, of course."

"Thank you," Solas stands and bows his head politely.

He watches as the Inquisitor pouts slightly, turning back away and mumbling, "Sure would have liked to see the caves too."

Solas pretends to not have heard. Ignoring the glances of both Cassandra and Cole, he continues finding elfroot and fills his backpack up. 

*****

By the next morning, the group had what they needed and more. Solas hands his bag of elfroot to the Inquisitor who lifted it onto his shoulder with no problem. "Are you sure you'll be alright exploring the caves on your own?"

The question gives Solas a chuckle. He nods his head and smiles, "Yes, I'm quite sure. I've been doing it for a long time, I'll have no problem resuming where I left off before joining you."

The Inquisitor nods hesitantly before turning away and nodding at Cassandra and Cole who were already waiting on their horses. Cassandra leads her horse up next to Solas, "I do not like this."

"What's there not to like?" Solas asks with a frown. 

"What is so important that you must be left behind? Why can we not return at a later time?"

"It could be an elven artifact, one that can help us. I want to find it before Corypheus does. We have no time to waste."

Cassandra does not look satisfied with his answer but only groans and turns her horse away from him, leading it back to the rest of the group. The Inquisitor, now mounted, tilts his head questioningly, "When should we expect you to return? Or should we come back?"

"Do not worry, Inquisitor. I will be back at Skyhold in no time."

With that said, the Inquisitor and the rest of the group head off, leaving Solas on his own. He waits at the camp, watching until they disappear from sight. Once gone, Solas stands with a soft exhale. There are very few moments where he is by himself entirely. He would be lying if he said he wasn't relieved he was doing this on his own. 

It would be easier to find her, instead of pretending to be unsure of which cave she was in exactly, he could follow the trail easily. He would have a chance to explain himself to her. If she would listen that is. Knowing her, she will be angry, and she has every right to be. 

As he walks, Solas silently wonders wher she'll think when she's seen him. He's aged, older than when she last saw him. The thought was a bitter thing to him, already they had a large enough age gap and now. She'll throw a fit when she finds out.

Solas finds the cave where her energy is strongest. It's opening was caved in and with a swipe of his hand, the rubble lifts and moves away. Using veilfire, Solas makes his way inside staying cautious as he goes. When he approaches the aged and weathered statues of himself, Solas can't help but chuckle and shake his head.

Having been here before, Solas now knew where to go. He travels down the long hallways with ease until he reaches her room. _Her room_. Would it be the same? He had gone through lengthy measures to keep her safe.

The door to the bedroom seemed out of place compared to the crumbling walls of the hallway. It was pristine in condition and looked as if it hadn't aged a day. Wrapping his hand around the handle, Solas exhales slowly, mustering up the courage to face her after all these years.

Pushing the door open, Solas tiptoes in. The room was just as he had left it. He had almost expected dust to layer everything but it was still as clean as before. The room was large and wide and filled with her personal items but he disregarded them entirely. Completely focused on the canopy bed that sat in the middle of the room.

He steps up beside it and pulled back the silky fabric that shielded her from the world outside her bed. As his eyes fall on her, Solas releases a breathy sigh and lets himself slide down onto his knees, " _Vhenan_."

She was just as perfect as the day he last saw her. Frozen in time. Her hair was splayed out around her in a halo, her lips parted as she breathed slowly. Solas reaches out and touches the skin her, letting his fingers skin across the length of her hand and arm. The magic inside him crackled in response to touching her, almost shocking him. 

He almost didn't want to wake her, knowing that this blissful peace will quickly end. But it was a selfish want and Solas had kept her here long enough.

Sighing softly, Solas stands back up and pulls his hand away from hers. He slowly reached forward and gingerly cupped the side of his Vhenan's face, "It is time to wake up, Y/n." She seemed to react immediately, stirring to life as he spoke his last word.

Y/n's eyelids fluttered and her nose scrunched, Solas fights a laugh when her ears twitch. Slowly, Y/n wakes, cracking her eyes open and squinting against the bright light of her room. She stares ahead for a moment before her gaze slowly drifts to Solas. Furrowing her brows, she blinks blearily, "Solas?"


End file.
